The trials and tribulations of a simple mind.

Time for reflections

2011-08-09T11:58:00.001+08:00

It's 9 day into the fasting month, and all seems ok. In my last post, I mentioned about 2 of my friends having marital problems. Well, one has just started her divorce proceeding while the other seems to have taken my advice and is working hard on her marriage. Well, I sincerely hope and pray that whatever happens.it's for the best.

It's also National Day today. A day we celebrate our independence. A month we fly our flags with pride and partake in the festivities of the National Day Parade. Or do we?

For one, I've never hung the National Flag outside my house. secondly, I've never watched the National Day Parade live except on TV. Lastly, most years, I'm on holiday away from Singapore, invariably, KL. My parents, always cynical about the government, always said that it's just a PR excercise replete with the chest-thumping and cheering.

Frankly, I couldn't care less.

Why the apathy? I love my country tho, just that I detest the way it's been run over the years. Yes, some said do not mix national pride with political alignment. Really? Then, why do I see a PAP contingent at every National Day Parade?

Over the years, the influx of foreigners has been a major sticking point. And it hit raw nerves everytime I read abt the foreigners making it look like this is their country. I have, at times, clenched my fist and take deep breaths in trying not to blow my top and spout expletives towards them.

Disillusioned, defnitely. Till we have a democratic society based on justice and equality, I'll probably never have that much pride in National Day.

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Captain Invisible and the weight of the world on his shoulders......

2011-07-15T09:32:00.004+08:00

Some things just don't change do they. It's tiring and trying.

For the longest time, I've had to deal with this. It's like trying to pull a strand of hair from a pile of flour without making a mess or breaking that hair. Difficult? I think it's much easier than having to go thru this.

Thing is, I still don't get any respect from my in-laws' family. They hardly ever talk to me. They hardly ever ask me for help even though it is my help that they need. They never say thanks to me. And if they need my help, they ask of it through my wife. So what does that make me? The President of Singapore? A rubber stamp?

The whole issue is my FIL has had a stomach operation about a month ago. The diagnosis, in the end was colorectal cancer, I think. I've never really gotten along with my BILs, 10 years after first meeting them. And that is not about to change anytime soon. Thing is, my dealings with them over these last few weeks only reinforces that.

How could a son actually suggested putting his father in a nursing home while he recovers from an operation?
How could a son pass the buck and ask his younger sister to take care of his father? Am I invisible here? There's no need to ask the head of your sister's family?
How could a son ask his sister to thank his wife for taking care of his father? Is not enough that you thank your wife?

It's bad, but I still can take it. My wife, being a dutiful daughter sought my permission to bring her father to a sinseh or Chinese Traditional Medicine Practitioner to get medicine for him when he already has the chemo medication which costs $800. I said no. Told her to wait till Saturday. Told her in no uncertain terms that her father and brother asked for her help, not mine.

What pissed me off was my wife asking me to take leave to bring her dad to the sinseh despite my having told her to wait till Saturday, I was being bugged to take time off when I simply can't.

It gets old. Here I am, 3 kids and 5 years on from when this problem first surfaced back in 2006, still facing the same problems. Still Captain Invisible with the weight of the world on my shoulders........

The need to spread my seeds..........

2011-07-14T14:03:00.005+08:00

A friend confided in me about her marital problems. Seems like after all these years, the impression I've left on her is one of a trustworthy friend. I'm honored.

It all started cos a mutual friend is going through a stick patch, what with her husband publicly changing his status from being married to his wife to being in a relationship with his girlfriend. Guess still waters runs deep, I guess. All this while, they were a picture perfect family. Always doing things together. Or, so I thought. But I'm not gonna speculate.

The question my friend asked me is why betray her trust and has all her sacrifices for the family for naught?

It's kinda hard isn't it? To try and make sense of the nonsensical. When news break of such betrayals, it makes it even harder. It's hard to try rationalising why such things happen, but the fact of the matter is, it does. No matter how we gloss over the facts, it's there, like a bad zit that just wun go away.

I told her, quite simply, I can't judge her husband or her, simply because I do not know their relationship and the dynamics of it although I know both of them personally. The thing about guys is, we do not equate love with sex while women do. Using the analogy of cars, I told her that a guy will test drive a few cars before he settles for one. Even then, he will still test drive other cars just to get a feel of it. Women, on the other hand, buys the car and feels contented as long as the car does its job.

Man is weak. He needs no invitations to vice. In fact, he'll seek it out just to see how far he can go. And go he will. Plain and simple.

I'm not saying that cheating is tolerable and to be expected cos once you've signed that document, you are committing your life to that once person. But in reality, it's much more easier to say than to actually commit to it. The question that needs to be answered is whether one can forgive their spouse and whether or not they can live with past transgressions.

Assuming the answer is yes, the road ahead is rocky and full of potholes, but if one makes it through, the results might just be that much more gratifying.

If the answer is no, then there's not much else to say, is there?

Catch-22

2011-03-29T12:19:00.005+08:00

Sigh.

Some friends I have huh. None actually messaged me to ask what happened to my account. Best part is , I actually SMSed one of my supposed close friends a happy birthday and not a word of thanks, nada! This just confirms my thoughts that if I really kicked it in, no one would know.

Question is, is it their fault or mine? Well, I'd leave it at that. I dun really feel lonely. I dun have that need to let everyone know I passed some test or I ate a this fancy restaurant or I bought my wife an expensive gift. Different strokes I guess.

Over the weekend, I was faced with the dilemma most parents face - letting their kids go. In my case, it's the perpetual tug-of-war for time with the kids between the parents and grandparents. Yeah, mundane, but you see, in my case, it can be more difficult than running across the PIE without getting run over. The problem that my wife and I face is the fact that my parents tend to be a little irreverent when it comes to time with my kids.

Honestly, I've never had a problem when my parents wanted to bring my kids out. I'm more than happy because it gives my wife and I a little time to ourselves. However, my daughter can be a handful, and being daddy's little girl, she's much more emotionally attached to me than anyone else. My son, equally a handful, is mommy's boy. So, taking them away from us requires a little bit of tact.

The problem came when my parents decided, at the last minute, after our late-lunch-cum-early-dinner, to take my daughter out "to a special place" and refused to tell us where it was. I relented, as I always do, even though it was 6pm and the next day was a school day, with the proviso that she does not come home late as she has homework to do. So, the 3 of us went home while my daughter followed my parents.

Fast forward to 9.30, I had finished my class and was getting worried that my daughter is not home yet. As it turned out, my parents also brought along our niece, who was sleeping earlier, and had to be woken up. My sister-in-law messaged my wife to ask if we knew where the kids were, and we didn't. I called my mom and, lo and behold, I heard an overseas ringing tone. That's not right, I thought. When my mom picked up the phone, she straightaway said that they were caught in an unexpected jam.

An unexpected jam on the causeway??? At almost 10pm on a Sunday night????? I was peeved to say the least. Why on earth did they venture across the causeway at 6pm on a Sunday in the first place????

Deciding not to wait around, I told my maid to get my son to sleep while my wife and I made our way to my brother's house where my parents would drop my niece first before sending my daughter home. In any case, I wanted to pass my nephew his belated 1st birthday present. So, we went, and we waited, the four of us sitting around feeling all frustrated.

All the while, lamenting the fact that if we didn't allow our parents to bring their grandkids out, we'd have an earful of their comments, especially my mom, and my younger sis. And when we do relent, this is the kind of things that happen. Frustrating is an understatement.

And now they want to bring our kids to Hong Kong at year's end. Should I let my kids go with them??????

About respect and hope for the future

2011-03-23T12:42:00.002+08:00

2nd day of my FB acct deactivation, and yes, I'm suffering some withdrawal symptoms but not enough for me to reactivate it. For one, it's much less painful not to know that some "friends" are blocking you and some "friends" don't really care. So, for now I will not be tempted to reactivate the account.

There so much to talk about nowadays: the tsunami hitting Japan (my condolences to all who lost their lives), the nuclear plant in Fukushima being close to another Three Mile Island or Chernobyl incident ( my respects to those workers risking their lives so that others may live) and the upcoming GE. Life sure is interesting - much more interesting than proclaiming one's passing of a simple driving theory test and the chest thumping that followed.

I was reading an article about how the Japanese were reacting to this calamity, and I'm in awe. The calmness, orderliness and dignity with which life went on even at ground zero is beyond commendable. It really serves as a great example to us here in Singapore where even giving up one's seat on the MRT to someone who needs it more is a big deal for most of us. And what about the Fukushima 50 as the media calls them. I'm sure there are more than just the 50 who deserves special mention.

To risk your life and risk suffering unimaginable pain from radiation sickness is testament to the Japanese people's strength and courage. I am reminded of the nuclear accident aboard the Soviet nuclear submarine, K-19 in 1961 where the actions of a handful of men, some of whom gave their lives, were responsible in averting a nuclear disaster. The major difference is the level of preparedness that the Japanese had and that allowed them to react positively in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.

Some time ago, there was talk of Singapore building our own nuclear plant to supplement the existing energy plants currently in operation. In light of the events of Fukushima, I hope that plan gets canned permanently. While other countries has the land mass to cope with such a disaster, where are we to go if an accident ala Three Mile Island or Chernobyl were to happen. Like they say, accidents happen.

Talking about accidents, is it me or is the recent "generous" budget announcements came at such a time to coincide with the upcoming GE? A sweetener to entice our votes perhaps. To some, $600 or $800 they are getting are a reprieve. But do these people really care about politics or are they more concerned with the daily grind of everyday life? Does one really think that the cash handout will make a difference, economically or socially?

They way I see it, the people who need it aren't concerned with the politics. The people who are concerned with the politics dun need it as much. To the poor, $600 or $800 makes a whole lot of difference. To the rich folks with a Bentley, Merc and 2 Lambos in their driveway, that $200 isn't even enough to cover their manicure sessions monthly, not like they need it in the first place.

Those who know me will testify that I'm a very vocal person. I like to speak my mind. I like to debate though I may not be as eloquent as some of my contemporaries. Hence, this GE is a very exciting one for me, since the last time I voted, we were not faced with issues such as million-dollar pay for our ministers who keep extolling "cheaper, better, faster", high income disparity, perpetually rising costs of living, higher housing prices and stagnating salaries. The last GE, my constituency had a walkover - what a bummer.

So, I await the start of the campaigning with bated breath. No guesses where my vote will go tho.

Back with a whimper.....

2011-03-22T12:43:00.002+08:00

Damn!! It's been 2 years since I last posted something here. I dunno, maybe I'm getting too old? Then again, I wouldn't be too far off if I said that I neglected my post mainly due to the fact that I got addicted to Facebook.....

What is it about Facebook, I'll just shorten it to FB from here on for all intent and purpose, that makes it so addictive? Then again, the same could be said of Friendster, Multiply and other iterations of social media before FB. So what is it?

Personally, I thought it would have been a fun way to reconnect with old friends. Friends whom I have lost touch with since we parted ways in Primary School, Secondary School and Pre-U. Heck, I even tried looking up my buddy from BMT, whom I have since lost touch with. Truth be told, I even searched for my ex-es, though I never contemplated adding them as friends, that would have been awkward for me, especially considering how some of the relationships ended.

I did question myself what I was doing in FB. I posted some funny comments, some witty ones, some provocative ones and some mundane ones too. But I came to realise that FB was a good way to gauge your popularity. It showed how many real friends you have, how many people actually read your posts and who really cared.

Truth be told, I've never had 1 best friend who stuck with me through the years. 1 best friend who'd call me every now and then to ask how I was, to ask me out, to spend time in a cafe drinking coffee. Heck, I've never had a group of friends who were constantly with me. It's always a different group through each phase. And they never hung ard after each phase.

My best friend in Primary School are not close to me at all, more like acquaintances.
My best buddy in Secondary School has kindof disappeared from my life totally.
My best friends from Pre-U are now in-laws to each other and spend more time with their family.
And then there are the friends from Secondary School who seem to go out of their way not to include me in their clique, by disabling me to see their posts, much less put a comment on their wall......oh well, we've never liked each other since we met I guess. Why, I never knew......and content to leave it that way anyway.

No, I'm not sore or anything. Why should I? I guess that's just how life is. Sure, I'll freely admit that I do feel left out when I see posts from my so-called friends about outings, celebrations or just gatherings I wasn't invited to. I mean, who wouldn't when you are told that it's a family affair only to see other friends being invited. Says a lot, doesn't it?

Well, back to FB. I have concluded that FB, as a social media works wonders. It allows you to reconnect with long lost friends and keep up to date with your friends' lives. But at the same time, it also opens up your eyes who your friends really are. On the other hand, it also shows how friendless you really are if, like me, you've disabled your FB profile and no one messages you to ask what happened to your profile.

So much for having 200+ friends on my FB.

Donkey Brained

2009-03-18T20:27:00.000+08:00

I read with utter disgust the newspaper report about the Malay women being used as drug mules with one lady going so far to marry the man she thought she loved. It seems these Africans target plump Malay women. I'll touch on that later.

Love blinds. No disputing that.

When I was working in my first job, my then trainer made a comment about plump Malay girls who like to dress up, party and have fun and the African guys who go out with some of them. He said that the Africans go out with these girls because no other local guys would give them a second look. While I try not to be so direct, there is some truth in that statement. And while I do agree that not all African men are like that, too many black sheep make in unavoidable to treat all of them with myopic thoughts.

The African men, some being Muslim, will almost always play the religion card to work their way into the hearts and mind of their prey. Showered with 'love' and 'affection', these girls are easy meat. I mean, give any guy a choice between a pretty young thing and a plump girl, the choice is just too obvious right? Add to that, our preoccupation with having a family of our own, it makes our women easy prey, especially to the smooth-talkers.

Now, it may be easy to target these women, but I have to ask, are our women that stooopid to be used in that manner? Can't they see the tell-tale signs of drug trafficking? Is there really such a thing as easy money? Why are they paying thousands for you to go on a trip?

Personally, I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for these women. God gave you a brain to think, weigh things over and decide for a reason. So that we know what's right and what's wrong.

You know that pre-marital sex is forbidden, yet, you do it with these men.
You know that it makes no sense for you to be paid to take a short holiday.
You know that drug trafficking is a serious offense in many countries, with punishment including death.

Then, why do you put yourself in such a situation?
Love may be blind, but if you are that stupid, you deserve to be called a mule.

Happily ever after.....hopefully

2009-02-26T19:49:00.000+08:00

I was watching the Malay variety program Kpak Bing Bing, essentially the sound of the kompang when it's played, the other day and something struck me. No, not physically. I was watching the couple recounting their first meeting, how he summoned up the courage to approach the girl and the happily ever after ending to the romance.

And it hit me.

I can't recall any incident in which I approached someone whom I don't already know with the intention to date her. Eversince, I started having any sort of interest in a girl, which was way back in Primary 6, by the way, I have never really approached anyone with the singular intention of dating her. I have no idea how I snagged my first love back in Secondary 2, though I suspect it could have something to do with those revisions we had together. In reality, I have no confidence in making that first move. I only made a move on her after she reciprocated my suggestive talk, yeah, I was a smooth talker even back then. In any case, that puppy love was never gonna work out, though an attempt to rekindle the embers was carried out some years later, again with disastrous results.

Honestly, I have lost count of the number of girls who caught my eye. No, I'm no casanova. It's just that there are certain traits these girls posses that I admire. In 90% of those times when I had that flutter in my substantial tummy, I let the butterflies free, reasoning that the girl in my sights was too good for me. In fact, it's just that I've got no confidence nor the courage to make that move. Inevitably, I had a lot of god-sisters, none of which was intended to be that way, for sure. It was all the craze back then, and me being the ever obliging person that I am, just can't say no to the juniors who started calling me abang - just not in the way that I envisaged.

Ever heard the phrase, NS will change a guy?

That phrase couldn't be more true than in me. While I'm still the excitable and still the obliging person that I am, I became more courageous, when it comes to girls, of course. Where I used to be utterly content with admiring a girl from a far, I became more confident and more assured of myself and was more plucky to make that move. Talking about making moves, I'll freely admit that I met my wife through the Internet. I was just starting work after finishing my NS and was working the night shift most of the time. The long chats became even longer, and I asked her out after she sent me a photo of her, though, I din fancy her initially when I got hold of that photo.

My initial reaction to meeting her was, "Did she have to bring a platoon down?". You see, she had her best friends accompany her, all 4 of them, though they left after meeting me - to gossip about us for sure.. The second reaction was that her friend is pretty and yes, I did tell her that. As time went by, we fell in love and the rest is, as they say history.

The reason I'm blabbering on and on is because what struck me was the connection and bond these husbands and wives shared. Something, quite admittedly is lacking in our marriage. It seems that they embody the term a loving couple. I mean, we are not lovey-dovey and can't-take-me-eyes-off-you kind of couple. We don't always hold hands while walking in public, we don't always engage in hugs-and-kisses when out and about. We don't even say mushy things to each other. If either one does, the other would go are you feeling alright? And we irritate each other more than we encourage.

I know some would say that it's not a sign of a healthy marriage. We had a chat about this and one thing we both agreed on is that the strength of our marriage is evident in the fact that despite all the speed bumps and potholes we have come across in our marriage, including those times we thought about separation, the wheels won't be falling off this wagon at the distant future. I'll admit that I'm no angel and there are times when I do act like a jerk (which guy doesn't, right?) but that does not mean I love her any less. In fact, with time, the love that's keeping us together is still as strong, if not stronger.

A joke we share between ourselves is that I conned her into marrying me. In all honesty, I'm glad I managed to con her into being my wife. She may not be the perfect wife, but she is as close as it gets for me.

The day I got out of the car to help.

2009-02-23T12:49:00.000+08:00

The pride that was Saturday gave way to despair today when I saw what was on the front page of Berita Harian, albeit at the bottom of the page.

While on the way to Geylang to do some marketing with wifey on Saturday, we came upon an accident along the BKE. I didn't initially see what was involved, but nonetheless, I stopped to see if there was anything I could do, hoping that my years in the Army as a medic would be put to good use. The scene that greeted me was one of carnage, for lack of a better word. To the squeamish, the sight would have been too much to bear, with blood and pieces of flesh freshly painting the tarmac. Straight off rotten.com.

From what I can see and gather, it seems like the accident victims, a Malay man and a Chinese woman, were riding on a bike which crashed into the back of a van. This threw them off the bike and landed in the path of a 10-wheeler, the kind you'd see hauling sand and almost always at high speeds. Both were alive when I got to them but were in serious, if not grave, condition. From what I saw, the girl was really struggling even though the guy's injuries seem physically worse.

Some of the people who did stop, left as soon as they saw the scene, perhaps, not able to stomach it. The only people who hung around and helped were the people who were involved in the accident (the van driver and the 10-wheeler driver), another witness in another van, a Caucasian guy by the name of Neil Wendover who stopped to help but was not a witness, and me.

The accident victims were covered with newspaper to protect their dignity as their clothing were ripped off after being dragged under the 10-wheeler for about 10-15 meters. The witness, Neil and I did what we could to make the victims more comfortable and to talk and calm them down. One thing that pissed me off, I'm sure others there were equally disgusted, was the number of people slowing down to take a closer look at the scene, with some whipping out camera phones and filming the scene and taking photos.

When the ambulance and TP came along, I walked away, after the TP offficer cleared us, with a heavy heart and sinking feeling, wondering if either of them made it. That question was answered when I saw the Malay papers today. Neither of them survived. In retrospect, I guess it would have been better that way, cos their injuries really looked very serious.

To Azmi and Rebecca, rest in peace.

The hope behind the hype

2009-01-23T12:47:00.000+08:00

We have been down in the doldrums for quite some time. It's been one whammy after another and the already slowing economy is being pounded. Honestly, if this was a boxing match, the match would have been stopped long ago by the referee. Thankfully, we aren't. Fact is governments all over the world are tripping over themselves trying to pump more cash into the markets to stimulate the economy to reignite the sputtering fire.

Amid all the gloom and doom, we are given a ray of hope. Like the first rays of light shining through an overcast sky after a huge downpour, Barack Obama stands tall proclaiming his and USA's readiness to lead once again. His inaugural speech, cheered by millions the world over, talks of hope, unity, recovery and respect. Riding on the crest of the highest approval rating of any President in recent history, his inauguration has brought hope to everyone. The last 8 years, fraught with controversies, bloodshed and sheer arrogance, has precipitated most of the goodwill the world had for Americans in the aftermath of Sept 11.

From the streets of New York to the slums of Jakarta, from lands of Palestine pock-marked with bomb craters to the spotless avenues in Singapore, Americans are once again filled with pride while the rest of us are full hope. At the same time, we all know who was full of crap and himself. Obama has the opportunity to be the man of the century if he manages to clean up the mess left behind by the previous administration. He is at the cusps of greatness if he succeeds in dealing with theso called Axis of Evil without spilling a drop of blood. He is at the doorstep of immortality if he could resolve the Middle East conflict which no one else has ever come close to do.

For, if he does all those he set out to do, then his place in history is assured and will be spoken of fondly long after he is gone. Personally, I hope and pray that he does succeed for we have all waited for someone to do so for the longest time. Somehow, someone always manages to make a mess out of it even more. Case in point, the last 8 years. the change will not only do USA a whole lot of good, but hopefully, the world too. WORLD PEACE!!!!!

Speaking of hope, the recent budget announcement by the Finance Minster was also one eagerly anticipated, perhaps more so than the last few years. After months of downward adjustments of national growth, nothing could have lifted up the spirit and soul of the average Singaporean with a nice big hong bao before the Lunar New Year. The announcement of a $20.5 billion Resilience Package, while not meant to boost the economy into a quick recover, will definitely help to cushion the blows we have been taking over the months.

In truth, most of the moolah will go into job preservation and help for companies stay afloat. The only significant handout was the extra GST credit payout, to me at least. While some of us may groan, let us not forget to look at the bigger picture. While having a few hundred more in the pocket from the govenment would have been welcome, it doesn't address the issue of relevance. Times change and so does the market and expectations. We can't expect the jobs we have held for the last 5 years to remain as it is without any added skill needed. We all want a quick fix, but since when has a quick fix worked. Go ask Dubya, he knows quick fixes.

While I am glad with the budget, I'm not overly ecstatic as I'm not deriving much benefit from it - for now. However, again, looking at the bigger picture, it does mean that I am less likely to be retrenched now, and for that I am grateful. Let's hope that the grey skies above us will clear soon or I'll have to buy a boat.

Can we be proud?

2009-01-09T11:48:00.000+08:00

"Tak hilang Melayu di dunia"

The words attributed to being said by Hang Tuah, the legendary Malay hero from the Malaccan Sultanate era which basically means Malays and our culture will never be gone from the face of the Earth. It has been perennially used by us Malays for centuries to stoke the flame of Malay nationalism especially across the Causeway. I do find it ticklish when politicians across the Causeway brandish the keris at the National Assembly to emphasize the right of the Malays to rule Malaysia. We'll talk politics some other time though.

We Malays have always been known for their hospitality, pride, social grace and community spirit. At the same time, many see our relaxed disposition and happy-go-lucky nature as signs of laziness and lackadaisical attitude, though, in some cases, nothing could be further from the truth. While we excel in some, okay, few things, football - just look at the national squad - and music - Singapore Idol, Live the Dream anyone? - amongst our favourite pastimes, we have shown a lot of improvement as a community. Our median income has improved, many more of us are PMETs as compared to a time when being a despatch rider or a clerk was an achievement.

Unfortunately, our record as a community speaks for itself. We have the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Singapore despite being a minority and being mainly Muslim where premarital sex is forbidden. We also have the distinction of having the highest divorce rates and the lowest median income rates. Oh, and not forgetting the highest drug addiction rates in the whole country.Then again, these does not worry me. It's been like that for years and will probably change only after I'm gone.

What I am disturbed about is the news of the 2 year old girl dying, allegedly, at the hands of her father over a pack of cigarettes she played with. This is not the first case where an innocent toddler died after being abused - both at the hands of their caregivers. Both cases involved Malay families. It's disturbing to me that something so trivial could lead to something so tragic. Remember 10-yr old Nurul Huda Abdul Ghani and how she died at a guardhouse at Gelang Patah and who could forget Nurasyura Mohd Fauzi aka Nonoi? It's so untypically Malay to be violent but it's happening more and more

What strikes me is the name of the girl and the appearance of the father. Natalie Nikie Alisyia is not a Malay name by any stretch of imagination and it looks strange when appended with the father's name, Sallehan. I saw a photo of the father in the papers just now and the thing that caught my eye was the tattoos on his arm. Well, this case is far from being resolved and no use speculating over what happened because it already did and an innocent life was snuffed out way before her time.

Honestly, I have heard of Malay babies with non-Malay names like Edgar, and the tattoos no longer shock me. As Malays, and invariably, Muslims, we are encouraged to give our children good names in the hope that they will live up to the meaning. While I'm aware that it's pretty much a personal choice, it really just shows to an erosion of our rich Malay heritage and culture. Same goes for tattoos, drugs and alcohol. They are forbidden in Islam, the religion which most, if not all Malays profess - even they profess it selectively like Hari Raya, yet we see so many Malays indulging in these vices.

Best part of it all, we seem to brush off these facts with brazen nonchalance. Don't believe me? Go and ask any Malay who is drinking or has many tattoos and the answer you'd get is invariably, Lu punya kubur lu jawab, gua punya kubur gua jawab, Lu tak happy lu boleh gi mampos, which basically means, civilly put, go mind your own business.

Have we lost our identity as Malays? Or is it that we are so engrossed in redefining what it means to be Malay that we lost touch with our past? Or perhaps, being Malay means nothing to us that we have to forge a new identity based on western ideas and ways of life? Maybe, just maybe, our traditional way of life is no longer enough to satiate the insatiable.

What then of our culture, heritage and the words of the Laksmana?

I'm leaving on a jet plane.....

2008-12-09T04:42:00.000+08:00

In a few hours time, I'll be in Langkawi. It will be Izzati's first flight and our 2nd trip there after our honeymoon. She's barely past 1 and she's already flying. I was 16 before I first flew in an airplane to Jakarta. Boy, was I excited back then.

The last time we were there, we had quite a good time but didn't really know how to spend our time meaningfully. We didn't do much planning ahead and did things on the fly. Now, we are much better prepared for the trip and with my parents and sister coming along, it will be easier for us with Izzati in tow.

This is probably my shortest entry as I am leaving in an hours' time. So, au revoir.

The round that shook us all

2008-12-04T18:05:00.000+08:00

The bullet does not have eyes.

Heard that a thousand times but it never really meant much to me. Not until the events of recent days. Yeap, I'm referring to the murder of Ms Lo Hwei Yen in Mumbai - a victim of international terrorism. By now, many, if not all Singaporeans would have read or heard about the incident.

For the longest time, we have all stood by and watched as terror attacks unfolded around the world. World Trade Center, Madrid, London and Bali have all experienced these first-hand and no Singaporean was ever fatally caught in the crossfire. Until now. We can't deny the fact all this while, we feel detached from the realities of such attacks as few of us had experienced it first hand. When I first read the news 2 days ago, my immediate reaction was one of sympathy to the family of the deceased.

I'm not going to tarnish the memories of the innocent deceased such as Ms Lo by saying they deserved it, because they didn't. No one deserved it. No one deserves to spend their last moments staring down the barrel of an AK-47 alone and terrified, away from loved ones. No one deserves to go without the chance for a proper goodbye. As I read the papers these past few days, I felt the grief felt by those left behind - directly feeling the repercussions of that shot. When I saw the husband's press conference, my heart went out to him - I felt his pain. As deep as his grief, there are still many more who are worse off than him in this aftermath.

I can't fathom how the 10 attackers went ahead with their plan. Dismissing any notion of humanity, bereft of any sense of remorse and devoid of any compassion, they went into Mumbai to face their destiny - one which is misguided by the carrots dangled before them. Jihad was the buzz word. It was their way of justifying the murder of hundreds. The words of the Prophet - taken way out of context - was their salvation. But to me, there is no Jihad. Theirs was a political goal from the onset. Hiding behind the cloak that is Islam,they launched the attacks, in the name of Allah - or so they say.

As much as I empathise with the troubles many Muslims around the world face, what with the atrocities committed in Israel, the violation of sovereignty in Afghanistan and Iraq , there can be no justification for such acts of terror. Using the words of the Prophet PBUH, all taken in the wrong context to suit their skewed mentality and crooked political aims, they use jihad as the unifying call to arms for all Muslim to resort to terrorism. Personally, I don't buy that. Oppression? What Oppression? The way I see it, there is no religious justification for attacks on civilian targets no matter what they say.

To me, it's all political. Taleban in Afghanistan, Hamas in Palestine, Abu Sayyaf in Philippines, Lashkar-E-Taiba in Pakistan, JI in SEA and Al-Qaeda everywhere else are not religious entities who are fighting oppression, they are political entities with a greater aim than just jihad. In any case, Jihad doesn't have to be a military struggle. The reality of it is that there is probably nowhere in the world right now where Jihad is really justified.

To those who lost loved ones, I can only send my condolences and only some words of sympathy. For those amongst us who are not directly affected, it's a warning that has really hit home. The question to be asked is probably, would we want to sacrifice the peace and harmony we have here in order to realise our political aims?

Going toe to toe.....

2008-11-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

I guess everyone has read or heard about the guy who went toe to toe with the white tiger and never came back. Why he went into the tiger enclosure in full view of all those visitors and tourists no one may ever know. Speculation abounds on his mental well-being and his motivations. A million question can be raised on what happened that fateful day, none of which could be conclusively answered.

At the very least, to the people who really mattered, his family, there was closure in the video which the deceased's sisters saw. They now know that it was no accident and there was no foul play involved. They also know now how much his family meant to him. What was clear from the video was this - he took a walk on the wild side, went for a dip and got scared and panicked when the tiger came up to him to say hello and invite him to play.

I recall a scene from an old black and white movie from the P. Ramlee era with the immortal line - kalau harimau tu ngap, saya tinggal ngep.

Like what Mr T always say - Pity the fool.

The one thing that struck a chord in me is the deceased's love for his family and his family's realisation that they meant the world to him. While he has gone, the ones left behind are left with a million what ifs. It's something that happens everywhere. We all take the people who matters most for granted sometimes and by the time we realise how much they meant to us, they're no longer there.

Sometimes, we talk to our family members with utmost disdain - that's me with my BILs - even if we don't mean it when they annoy us. We use their possessions without asking first and when we do ask for permission, it's sounds more like an expectation rather than a request. We use their stuff without any hint of responsibility and deny culpability when the things we used are damaged or in need of repairs. We talk down to our other half and to our young siblings. And we make no apologies for it.

Blame it on familiarity. Blame it on the safety net. Blame it familial ties. Blame it on the comfort zone. Blame it on everything but ourselves. We take things for granted. We demand that the car keys be handed over rather than asking for it with the slightest hint of politeness. When we do get the keys, there's no gratitude. We use our sibling's bike or MP3 player and we make no apologies if we happen to puncture a tyre or skidded and damaged the bike or damaged the MP3 player by dropping it in water.

As family, we expect to be forgiven and the misdeed brushed over. We expect our brother to give us the car key on demand, our sister to forget the big scratch on her MP3 player we borrowed, our father to pay for the damage we caused to the bike/car when we used it and we expect them not to bear grudges against us. But at the same time we cry foul if they damaged one of our possessions or demand that we hand over our possessions for them to borrow. We cry foul when our younger siblings disrespect us but we forget that we disrespected them too.

Honestly, I'm guilty of some of the above at some point or another. I'm not proud of it but I'll admit it. I'm no angel, I have disrespected my wife online (on these blogs no less), I have talked down my sister before and I have borrowed (more like demand) my family members' belongings for my own personal use.

Still, at the end of the day, our family would still forgive and accept us. But if we still find ourselves at the end of snide remarks such as Go get yourself a car or Are you really that poor to own an MP3 player, then we probably are still stepping on their toes.

Of hope and fear

2008-11-08T20:12:00.000+08:00

Yeay!!!! Obama Won!!!

Wait a minute, I have no idea why I am rejoicing. The word on the street was one of optimism with stock markets the world over rallying at the news. Personally, as with many Singaporeans, I have no idea? what they were politicking about. Though many rooted for Obama, I doubt they knew what Obama's political allegiance was, much less his ideals. Was he a Democrat or Republican? Heck I don't even know one from the other.

Still, any idiot could have done better than the prick they now call Mr President. 8 years in charge with practically nothing to show for. The initial support GWB received in the wake of Sept 11 precipitated quickly and any sympathy garnered then quickly turned into disdain at the unilateralism and heavy handed approach. One suspects that in spite of his failings, he could have well worn that smug look at the dinner table, winking at his dad, probably saying, "Dad, I may not have achieved much but I got Saddam for you!".

Yeah, he got Saddam but look at the devastation he left behind. Iraq, in spite of Saddam's dictatorship and iron fist, was rather peaceful; just look at it now. GWB, to me, is like the Sheriff of the cowboy towns of the Wild West. He wades into a standoff with guns blazing and leaves behind a trail of destruction. When the smoke clears, you can see him sitting in a corner with that smug look on his face, thinking - "Hey, I got him didn't I?"

At least we all know Obama's not that much of a cowboy.

A little close to home, I read in the papers the other day about the stepfather who was jailed for child abuse all because he caned his stepson 100 times for incessant lying. In all honesty, I was shocked. Not at the number of times the boy was caned but the fact that he got jailed for it. My initial reaction was one of disbelief. Caned a 100 times? C'mon, many of us have gone through worse punishment than that; some of us had to endure inch thick leather belts complete with buckles. I had fresh red chilli smeared on my mouth for lying to my mom - and let me tell you the lingering aftertaste was enough to remind me from lying again.

I mean news such as this would play on the back of every parent who has to instill some form of discipline in their children. The parent would always be thinking if corporal punishment would lead to allegations of child abuse. We have to look at the physique of the child, the circumstances that led to corporal punishment and the gravity of the offence. It seems that corporal punishment is frowned upon more than ever. Gone were the days when the school rascals would get public caning - many parents won't allow their children to go through such punishment in school. Now, it seems that even the parents are not allowed to cane their children. Teachers are taught to look out for signs of child abuse such as cane marks on the children. However, upon reflection, I do agree that caning 100 times may be a bit excessive.

Personally, I believe that corporal punishment is a punishment that has to remain, even if it exists only as a threat. While children cannot be allowed to live in a climate of fear, there has to be an element of fear which will stop them from doing an act. Where discipline was once based on fear, parents have had to deal wiith ever more inquisitive children who not only defy them but question them. Where the standard answer of children in the face of an instruction use to be OK or Yes Mom/Dad/Sir, that has given way to but why.

Given the choice I couldn't resort to caning or belting by child. However, if she did step out of line I would. It all boils down to control. In order to have control over your children, you have to have control over yourself first. My guess is that was where the parent who was jailed failed. The lines that separate disciplinary measures and child abuse gets blurrier every minute we lose control of ourselves

My disappointment

2008-11-04T18:36:00.000+08:00

Such a depressing headline - I know. I'm feeling it. There are a few things on my mind which are eating away at me, just that somehow, letting it all out will hurt those around me. Funny especially coming from someone who normally speaks his mind with a callous disregard towards the feelings of others.

As some of you, my avid fans (just who am I kidding), can attest to, my dislike for some people (read: brother/sister-in-law) is almost legendary. Legendary enough to rival the fabled tales of Hercules, Achilles, Bonnie and Clyde, Billy the Kid and maybe, just maybe, Maradona. For those who happen to read this blog and are starting to feel queasy or starting to think, "Oh, here he goes again, blabbering about his family.", now's the perfect time to click the NEXT or CLOSE button before you read something that you didn't intend to or worse, badmouth me behind my back.. Yeap, I know it's going to ruffle feathers and hurt the feelings of a certain someone - my wife. This time, I felt I just have to let it loose. Been keeping it in for far too long.

Well, my princess celebrated her 1st birthday a month ago. As mentioned in one of my previous blogs, my wife and I meant for it to be a low-key affair. That meant no fancy parties or celebrations and definitely no cakes. She wouldn't have understood the significance of it anyway. In fact, minus the customary visit from our parents, some close friends and 2 of my wife's relatives, no one else came to our house during the whole of Aidilfitri, but that's a story for another day. What I found most disappointing was the lack of any gifts for her, with the exception of the gifts from my immediate family and both of us. Why does it bother me so much? Of course it does!!! Her uncles and aunts didn't even come to our house to see her on her birthday.

OK. Granted that it was in the first week of Aidilfitri plus the fact that it was exam period. Surely, a niece's birthday is worth remembering and worth taking the effort to see her. In the end, neither of her uncles (read: my brother-in-law) or aunties (read: sis-in-law) called to arrange to visit her, much less actually came over. Actually, her not receiving any gifts from my wife's side of the family wouldn't have been that noticeable if they had made an effort to celebrate it. Nothing. And to think that my wife had always made it a point to call her nieces and nephews on their birthdays and to buy presents for them.

I spoke to my wife about it and, truthfully, I know she was heartbroken by the acts, or lack thereof of her own brothers. Throwback 13 months and the same thing played out. Neither of her brothers called to ask how she was and to check up on her when she gave birth to our darling princess. They only came over to see her a few weeks later. You may ask, since I dislike them so much, why am I feeling disappointed?

The simple reason being, my disappointment is because I pity my wife for having such siblings and I pity my princess for having to call them uncles when she learns how to address them. Yes, I do ask myself why do I bother to seek for their forgiveness each and every Aidilfitri knowing full well that I may never give them the respect as elders. I can't say for sure if I have or can ever forgive them for making my wife feel the way she feels whenever we broach this subject.

Call me a hypocrite but that's never going to change how I interface with them. Outwardly, I may look like I'm showing them some level of respect. Deep down inside, there's nothing there but disdain. As much as I would love to give them a piece of my mind, I won't, even if it's only because I do not want my wife or my parents-in-law as the rope in a tug-of-war. My wife knows my stand on this. This exactly the reason why I refuse to go to their homes, unless there is a valid reason for me to do so.

Honestly, I'm not bothered by the lack of gifts. A simple visit to wish my princess happy birthday or even an attempt to make such an arrangement would have sufficed. I guess we, as a family, are not worth the effort to some.

An ANALysis of Singaporeans.......

2008-10-16T13:29:00.000+08:00

Singapore is a FINE city. Uniquely Singapore.

Yeah, we've seen the adverts and some of us has, as tacky as they are, bought the t-shirts too. There are things we're all proud to have achieved as a nation like having the world's best airport or the world's best port. I think, especially after reading the papers 2 days ago, we can pride ourselves at being the most anal in the world. Pardon my language.

Where else in the world could someone be fined for falling asleep in a public park? I can't think of any. OK, granted that I haven't been to many parts of the world and haven't ventured further than Java, East Malaysia and the Malaysia-Thai border, it still borders on the ludicrous that one could be fined for sleeping in a public park.

My eyes almost popped out at that headline and upon further reading, I felt compassion for the sleeper and utter disgust at the park ranger. I just can't fathom how someone falling asleep at a park bench while taking refuge from the rain can be deemed as a nuisance or even a hazard to other park users. Have you seen the number of dogs running around unleashed and the psychopaths who call themselves cyclists darting around in the very same parks?

I mean, c'mon, I'd have no qualms with summons being issued against inconsiderate park users such as those who practically set up a temporary home complete with cordons in a public park. I'd be smirking at the fellow who let his dog run unleashed and pee and poo all over the park without cleaning up after it. The defining issue is being inconsiderate. I think many Singaporeans fail in the respect and they do so miserably.

I'm not even going to talk about road users. I've practically given up hope of having peaceful drive where I don't have to maintain a vigilant eye on every corner. I'm referring to the recently publicised issue of returning your plates after eating at the local foodcourts. Something as simple as that but we all find it hard to do. Personally, I try to make it a point to clear my table, not for the next patron, but to ease the load on the cleaners, who more often than not, are senior citizens. Most tmes, I'm greeted with a great big smile and a nice thank you when they accept my used utensils at the clearing point. Gratitute, no doubt, that they have one less table to clear.

Almost all the local guys go through NS and no one dares leave behind his food tray unless they want to get left behind during book-out day. It's such a simple thing yet we just can't do it. Just this afternoon during lunch with the wife at one of the many foodcourts, I saw just how many people conveniently walk away from their tables without even attempting to clear their table. Is it because they are wearing business attire and cleaning up is beneath them that makes them act that way?

Honestly, if the nice old lady didn't come to my table to cart away my crockery at the time when I was stacking them up, I'd have done it myself. the fact that she said thank you to me for helping her stacking up my utensils to make it easier for her to carry it away speaks volumes of her character and just makes the inconsiderate act of many patrons. What is it about us Singaporeans that we can't do something as basic as this?

Is it the rat race that makes us so self-centered and so self-enamoured that we consider the basics of courtesy an being considerate beneath us? I mean most of us don't have maids to clean up and we don't expect our parents to clean up after us, but yet, we expect the elderly cleaners at the foodcourts to do the same for us. The best part of it all, many of us even ignores the cleaners after clearing up the table for us without even a hint of gratitude for giving us a cleaner place to eat, much less a smile and a thank you.

Try asking your mother to wipe the table clean before you eat and you might just get a stare so deep, your stomach churns. Go and complain to your father when your mother gives you that stare and he might just throw you out of the house.

Now, all we need is another campaign. I'm sure it will work just as well as how the courtesy campaign worked for us.

PS: Wave as a thank you doesn't mean you wave only your middle finger.

Hoping for calm

2008-10-10T09:02:00.000+08:00

Here comes the bear...

Haven't you heard? Technically, we are in a recession. The first time we've had a technical recession since 2002. That came off the back of the 1997 Asian financial crisis. In fact it's been a long-time coming. Something we've always known was gonna be here, a matter of when, not if. I'm no financial analyst, neither am I a stock market savvy person, but the signs were here more than a year ago when the world economy hit a speed bump and oil prices started escalating to record prices.

Back then, I kinda had a feeling that a recession is gonna hit us soon. Now that it's here, the word on the street is that depression may set in. If it ever get's that bad, then we'll all be in for a rough ride. Should I be worried? With all the talk of recession and depression ala 1930's, who wouldn't be? In an instant, life savings could be wiped out, bankruptcies and joblessness. Still I retain a little bit of optimism, in spite of all the turmoil swirling around us. While we are still being buffeted from the worst of the storm, and while I expect that it won't be long before it smacks us right in the face, I believe, it's not the end of the world.

Right now, while I do fear what the future may hold, I have faith that it will get better. It's only a matter of time. The only problem for many of us is that we suffer losses we think are too great for us to bear. Then when the fear sets in and panic starts, our hopes turn into desperation. Honestly, I won't be surprised to read of suicides when the economy don't rebound as quickly or takes a turn for the worse. I can only pray that none of my friends come to that.

I for one will hold on steadfastly to my shares....I mean beliefs that it will get better.....I hope...

Speaking of hope, fear, panic and the erosion of confidence, I can't understand the attitude of some Singaporeans. Case in point, the middle-class folks living in Serangoon Gardens.

First of all, if the people living in Serangoon Gardens and other landed properties are middle-class, does that makes 70% of Singaporeans who live in HDBs low-class? Where does that put the Condo owners and those who are renting and not owning their own flats? Or is it the fact that they live on landed property that makes them more sophisticated than the rest of us and gives them the right to be snooty and snobbish. C'mon, you all breathe the same polluted air I do, and don't you dare call me low-class!!!

Secondly, what's the hullabaloo about the foreign worker dormitories being set up in Serangoon Gardens? I can't begin to understand the resistance to the dormitory being setup there. Security? C'mon, since when did Singapore become an exclusive society and why pigeon-hole the foreigners as a security threat? Are we really that better than them?

Lastly, have the folks at Serangoon Gardens forgotten who we, Singaporeans, really are? We were, if I am to be honest, are just a bunch of immigrants flocking to this little red in search of a better life for ourselves and a better future for our children. Off the 5.8 million people who call Singapore home, one would be hard-pressed to find anyone who can trace their lineage back to the original inhabitants of Singapore - all the back to when Raffles landed here.

Save for the few, we all can trace our ancestors to lands as far away as Indonesia, Arabia, India and Mainland China to mention a few. We all fought for our stake in this land over the decades, why deny the hopeful newcomers their chance at a better life? You won't live forever and your children may even go off to other countries and stay there.

Personally, I think it's all to do with our fear of the unknown and uncertain. When the unknown and uncertain gets forced upon us, the erosion of our faith and our beliefs starts. And when hope turns to despair, fear and panic sets in. My guess, is, that's what's gripping the world and to a certain extent, Serangoon Garden folks.

The Hari Raya and the day she turned 1

2008-10-07T09:13:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I know, it's 2 days late. It's her special day. A year to the day I first laid my eyes on her, heard her cries, cradled her in my arms and kissed her on her forehead. Not a day went by without me uttering praises to Him for His gift to us.

Blessed? That's really a mild understatement.

This year's Aidilfitri was a more meaningful and blissful affair for me as compared to the debacle that was last year. We managed to dress up nicely as a family and went about the visiting with the rest of the family. I joked with my wife about setting Izza a target for her "collection" money. As we both took leave on Thursday and Friday, it offered us more time and a less hectic schedule for our visits. We visited those relatives we didn't see last year and some were pleasantly surprised that there's now 3 of us. Obviously, no one told them about our bundle of joy.

Went back to my wife's Mak Andak place in Ayer Hitam on Friday. The planned trip was to start at 9am but we only left Singapore at 11. This was, as usual, through no fault of ours. We only reached Ayer Hitam at 1.30pm and didn't even make it to Kluang to her Mak Long's place as she was out. Glad we went on a weekday though. Travelling to Ayer Hitam and Kluang to visit 2 houses only doesn't seem to be a good plan for a weekend - half a day gone with only 2 houses covered. Not god for me - as the driver, and not good for Izza - for her collection.

Wifey had wanted us to just stay home on Sunday and have a quiet time to ourselves, though that would be a big ask of Izza - she just can't keep still nowadays, especially after 4 days of almost non-stop house visiting. Yeah, we were tired, more so our little princess. Still, I decided to go ahead with the initial plan, which was to meet up with my family and continue visiting relatives. I did make a promise to my wife that whatever it is and no matter whose house was next on the agenda, we'd cut our day at 5pm. This would give us some downtime with her, not to mention some rest as we were working on Monday.

The previous 4 days of action probably took a lot out of her. She slept in the car from 3.30pm and only woke up at home at 7pm. In between, some extended family members dropped by to see the birthday girl only to be disappointed to find out that she's asleep.Oh, and in the midst playing on our bed, just before she slept, she somehow managed to lose her footing and slipped of our platform bed and fell on the carpeted floor. Needless to say, tears were shed but she showed no ill-effects after that. Surprisingly, she fell asleep at 10.30pm again - that's how tired she was.

Although we didn't get to celebrate her birthday, not that we were planning to hold a party or anything of that sort, we did take some time to buy a new toy for her yesterday during lunch. Well, she loved her new toy, judging by her reactions. And there's more courtesy from her uncle and aunt and her grandparents.

That Aidilfitri Conundrum

2008-09-26T22:10:00.000+08:00

We're a few days away from the big day. No, not the first ever Formula 1 night race. I'm referring to Aidilfitri. Well, the race is exciting in some ways but it can never be as exciting as celebrating Aidilfirti.....

For goodness sake, I'm gushing like 11-year old who can't stop thinking about duit collection. Lest, I forget, I'm 31 now and Aidilfitri has not been the same for me since I finished school. In fact, I don't remember receiving any green packets since I was 18. Even if I was offered, I'd kindly decline it from my elderly relatives, some of whom I hardly recognise, let alone know their names. When we were younger, Ramadhan was always about how many days of fasting we could manage and Syawal was definitely about how much moolah we could generate.

I could still remember being teased and taunted by my Muslim classmates if and when I skipped a day of fasting. The pressure was on us kids to maintain our inner strength by fasting.....oh, who am I kidding. It's all about avoiding the teasing and the taunting. Even if we could not fast the whole day, we'd try to keep up appearances just to look that we were indeed fasting by staying away from the canteen during recess. Plus the fact that constant reminders from our closer relatives that the kids who do not fast don't get to celebrate Aidilfitri - meaning no moolah. We did our fasting - but for all the wrong reasons.

Where it was once uncool not to be fasting, it seems to be even more uncool nowadays to be fasting. Too often have I seen young kids, barely out of their teens, walking hand-in-hand with their special one, cigarette in one hand, soft drink in the other hand. Just when I try to reason that probably the girl couldn't fast because of her period, the boy takes a long drag on his ciggie and gulps down the drink as soon as he exhales. Sometimes I ask myself, do these kid know they don't get to celebrate Aidilfitri if they don't fast?

The real meaning of Aidilfitri has been obscured by the excesses of today's youth. Where Aidilfitri was a supposed to be a celebration for the successful completion of fasting - an abstinence from our vice and excesses - it has become a commercial celebration for some, replete with the showcasing of new clothes and accesories, they may not wear again for another year. Then again, who am I to comment on it? I just hope my daughter doesn't fall into that spiral.

Another gripe I have about Aidilfitri, and this is played out year by year, is the question of where to go and when to go. No!!! Not the Bazaar in Geylang. I meant the destinations of the eve of Aidilfitri and the day itself - and I'm referring to which parents' house first on each day. Every year, the same question gets asked and the same conundrum strikes again. It's a conundrum that bugs and irks me all the same everytime. And almost without fail at least one of us ends up feeling like crap.

Every couple has their own way of dealing with this sticky issue. Sadly, after 5 years, we have yet to reach an agreeable plan we both can stick to every year. The only break was last Aidilfitri when she just gave birth and this issue didn't crop up - though a much bigger one played out in the end. I mean, me being the eldest son and her being the youngest and only daughter makes it just that bit harder to decide where our priority should lie. For me, it's clear that since I'm the eldest son, we should spend more time at my parent's place. For her, since she's the youngest and the only daughter, she is expected to help out her parents.

Blame it on filial piety. We both got our own set of parents and there's no denying that our individual sense of filial piety are at odds with each other. While we try to be fair to each other, that Holy Grail of of any relationshop - the common ground - is much harder to reach than anyone thought. Well, good luck to me then to find that common ground.

Racing through....

2008-09-25T08:37:00.000+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, rev your engines!!!!

Yeap! Formula 1 weekend is finally here. Wait!!! Why am I getting excited??

Honestly, I've always thought that it was a waste of time to attend a motorsport event in person. I mean, why go to the races when you can probably only watch the part of the race where you are at while missing the action at other sections. Plus, the sky-high prices for the pit garage grandstand tickets are enough to put most people, bar the die-hards and the uber rich. I've always told myself that I would stay away from the Marina Bay area cos the crowds would probably be too much for me. In any case, I won't know who's in the lead at the races and all I'll get is just a ringing sensation in my ears and glazed eyes from watching the cars zoom by. So, come this weekend, you're more likely to find me trawling through the narrow walkways of the Ramadan Bazaar at Geylang Serai.

Speaking of which, I have yet to go there this year. That is, in itself, a record of sorts. I have always made it a point to soak up the atmosphere there, not to mention the sights, sounds and, urgh, smells of sweat and smoke. This year, however, I have put that off till the very last weekend of Ramadan. Not that I have lost the spirit for festivities, rather, it's the presence of my daughter that puts me off going there. The small walkways and the claustrophobic surroundings can freak an adult out, more so, a baby. On one hand, I wanted to expose her to the bazaar but on the other hand, I'm concerned for her safety; not to mention wanting to avoid having to go through one of her cranky periods. Still, I have to make my way there this weekend. I still have some last minute stuff to buy, a new carpet being high on the agenda.

On the topic of new stuff, there are those amongst us who think nothing of changing furniture or personal accessories on a whim, especially with Aidilfitri being around the corner. There a some families who'd change furniture just because there is a small chip on the wooden sofa or a scratch on the metal coffee table. Personally, I can neeither identify with that nor can I keep up with them. It's almost engrained in our culture that we must keep up with the times. Quoting a famous line from an old Malay Movie, 'Orang ada rumah baru, dia mahu rumah , baru. Orang ada radio baru, dia mahu radio baru. Orang ada kreta baru, dia mahu kreta baru". In short, "I want what they got".

Funny. This line has been said countless times in many a rerun. No doubt meant as a poke in our cultural ribs, it has yet to bring about a meaning that resonates in our community - prudence. At times, we put undue pressure on ourselves not to be seen as outdated, we sometimes overspend and live beyond our means. It's no surprise that there many amongst our community who live in debt. So what if it's old? If it ain't broke, dun fix it. I'l readily admit that at some points in my life, in my pursuit of acceptance, I was dragged into this mindset of trying to keep up. Thanks to my financial controller, read: wife, that has been kept in check. Else, I'd be just another name in the OA's list.

Where there was once a tingling feeling everytime I saw a new gadget launched, it's now just a numbed feeling. Why? Simply because, most of my wants has been vetoed so many times, I've practically given up hope of ever attaining them. Thanks dear, for enforcing a sense of prudence in me..

Friends.............

2008-09-21T03:08:00.000+08:00

My blog has undergone through so many resuscitation, it should have been dead and buried by now. As it is, there is still a pulse, just barely. The last time I blabbered about something, it was about the National Day Rally. A month ago.

Since then, we all have gone through some rough times, in terms of the global economic outlook that it makes the Asian Financial Crisis of 1998 look easy. Not since the Great Depression in the 30s has there been so much turmoil in the financial markets around the world. Havoc. Recession looms larger then we might think at some point. Things are looking up in the last few days with the US government vowing not to allow the market to slip into freefall being a welcome respite.

From a global issue to more personal issue.

My wife has always commented how lucky I am to have a big pool of friends. I used to think so myself. There were some points in my life where there wasn't just enough time to devote to a particular group of friends for an extended period. I mean, one weekend would be with a group, another weekend with a different group. What I came to realise was that, I never really had a group of friends whom I have stuck with from the day I had friends. Even now, I don't have a specific group whom I meet up with regularly.

I mean, yeah, I know lots of people and seldom would I be out and about without meeting a familiar face. However, familiarity does not equate to a close bond. Most of the people I know are acquaintances more than friends. People whom have entered my life at some point, for some fleeting moment and left as soon as they appeared. Those that I call friends are those who, at the very least, have my number on their mobile, or have me on Multiply or Friendster. Other than the occasional 'hi's and 'bye's, or the occasional, 'Hey bro, you free? I need your help.', I almost never get the 'Hey bro, you free? Let's meetup for coffee' kind of message/call.

Not that I am complaining. I mean, I'm happier spending time with my baby rather than to spend time with friends who call me out only when they need my help. My wife is different. She is not as sociable and not as friendly as I am. Unlike me, she can't strike up a conversation with someone she barely knows. She does, however, have 2 groups of friends whom she meets up with on a fairly regular basis. 2 friends from her secondary school and 4 from her workplace whom she is especially close to. of her 4 friends from her workplace, 1 is married, while the other 3 are still single. Of the 3 singletons, 1 of them seem to be drifting away, while the other 2 maintains close contact with her.

Having met her workplace friends quite often, I have grown to know them personally. The friend who is married is now mother of three and a full-time housewife. My wife and her 2 friends have always seen the married one as the luckiest. Loving husband, 3 lovely kids, a nice flat and a car. What more could a woman ask for, right?? Recently, it seems, that their marriage is on the rocks and heading towards divorce. Vaguely, I know that the husband has found another woman. Surprising, very surprising indeed. He's always seemed like a faithful husband. He's not that handsome and neither is he filthy rich. So it came as a surprise to us all.

It's very sad to hear of this development, seeing how she has stopped working to become a fulltime housewife and devoting herself to him and their family, only to have that devotion betrayed by his infidelity. Personally, the D-word did cross my mind at some points in my life, especially when I thought that our relationship had broken down irretrievably. I mean, I admit that there were times when I thought I could no longer live with her or her family members. However, at no point did I ever consider having another woman.

Invariably, just when we thought life could not be any better, it takes a plunge downhill. And when it seems there can be no light at the end of that dark tunnel, a tiny ray of light peeks through. I have never doubted our individual strengths as human beings, and the wonders the body can do when the mind is focused. Thus, I'm sure my wife's friend would come out of this stronger and a better person. I do pray for her happiness as well as her other friends'.

The same goes to my friends, whoever and wherever they may be. I'm always there for them. Be it a loan, help with their car or just a listening ear when you think you've reached the lowest ebb of your life, I'll help where I can..........even if you don't intend to ask me out for a drink anytime soon.

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!

That speech.............

2008-08-19T19:59:00.000+08:00

I guess the big news this past day or so has been the PM's speech at the National Day Rally. Admittedly, I have never been one to watch the Rally on TV, often preferring other programs, or playing games on my PC if there are no other more interesting shows. Since I started working, that changed. I, as do many Singaporeans, wait with bated breath, all the while hoping for more handouts and goodies to be announced.

We Singaporeans are a strange bunch. We clap our hands at the announcements made by the PM on the various plans they have in place for us. We nod our heads in apparent agreement at the slides and the graphs, trying to make sense of the facts and figures being put before us and yet, at the same time, we dismiss the policies being put forth as money politics from the government. I admit, I'm one of them. I'm happy at the measures that affect me and my family directly (extended maternity leave, more child-care leave, more child-care centers and more subsidy for them). However, I cringe when it is put to us that in fact we are saving more than we think with all the policies already in place.

While I agree that the reduction in road tax covers the increase in ERP, more for some than for others, they are 2 totally different things. Road-tax is paid yearly or half-yearly. Many car owners, set aside a part of their AWS or bonus for this purpose. As such we don't feel the savings when we do pay the road tax. But any increase in ERP is immediately felt as we pay as we use.

Then again, personally, I feel that if one gripes too much about the increasing ERP, it probably means he or she shouldn't be driving especially if the $100 or so increase in ERP really does affect his monthly budget. Yes, I'm unhappy about the ERP increase, but I'm not changing my driving habits just so that I could save $0.50 here and $0.20 there. Heck, I'm not about to skip a "McHappy Meal" like Hitler does and neither would I switch to a BMX any time in future.

Enough griping from me for now. It won't changed the fact that we, as consumers will always be at the mercy of the producers. It's all politics.

Talking about politics, the stories coming out from across the causeway is really making me have a good laugh. Where else would you get religion, politics and sleaze all rolled into one soap opera for the masses? All the talk of reformasi reform if you'd prefer is thoroughly overshadowed by charges of sodomy. 10 years on since the last sodomy charge levelled against Anwar Ibrahim, nothing much has changed. Personally, I find it hard to believe that a 23 year old man can succumb and allow himself to be sodomised by a 61 year old man. I mean it does take some force, if indeed the act did take place, to strip a young physically able man down without his consent and make him bend over, especially if the one doing the forcing is 61 years old. Anwar must have been working out real good.

For all the talk of change by the Malaysian government to appease the populace, nothing has really improved. Really. What change is there when the traffic cops on the north south highway still ask for RM50 to settle what they claimed was speeding by predominanly Singapore cars? More on that at another time. There are more important things in life and I think one of them is that Izzati needs a younger sibling........

If Hitler had lived in Singapore......

2008-08-19T18:22:00.000+08:00

Got this while video surfing....just to share with you guys.

The resuscitation

2008-07-15T08:17:00.000+08:00

CLEAR!!!!
TEEEEEEETTTTT !!! Flatline.....

That's how my blog is right now. Barely alive. No thanks to my PC which died on me. Oh well, luckily I know CPR. Been 2 months since I rambled - too long for my imaginary loyal fanbase.

In that 2 months, my PC died a horrible death (power supply failed on me and I had to look for the authorised distributor to get it replaced, since it's a custom PC), I celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary and prices all around us shows no signs of abating. Another long rant from me about ever-increasing prices, maybe.

My princess is now 9 mths old, getting more and more cheeky, not to mention more and more active. She's crawling all over the place - no more letting her out of our sight for more than 2 minutes. The fact that she likes to taste things she can touch and hold necessitates this. If it's something that she can grab, it definitely is worth a bite. Give her the teether toys we bought for her and 30 second later, she'd off to find something else more interesting. So far, she has been doing well, apart from that week during our anniversary when she had her first real illness. That bronchitis really took a lot out of her and she lost a bit of weight as a result. She's doing fine now though.

On a separate note, I read with incredulity the words of our Finance Minister, on his views about increasing our pay to fight off inflation. The words NO PAY HIKE really struck a chord, or should I say nerve, with many Singaporeans. Another report also mentioned that the average Singaporean earns $4000 monthly and is well-equipped to handle the current inflation. Instead of raising salaries, the only way to stave of inflation is through continuous upgrading of our skills so as to command a higher pay.

You know, I agree on the last point. To get an increment, we have to prove to our employers that we are productive and add value to them. In order to do so, we need to keep ourselves relevant. However, to upgrade our skills to command a better pay, we first need to pay to enrol in such improvement classes. I think many of those who are in need of upgrading are already living hand-to-mouth leaving precious little for upgrading courses. In order to avoid the vicious price-wage cycle, the government left us in a different cycle - the upgrading vs necessity expenditures. Money not enough?

Like many of us, I wish I am just an average Singaporean. However, going by the reports mentioned, I'm a long way off the $4000 monthly average. It doesn't look like I'll get there anytime soon. Plus, by the time I do get there, the average might have risen to $8000 monthly. Anyway, how the heck did they arrive at $4000?? Did they include the ministerial pay?? I'm sure the ministers are baying for blood now that the PM has donated his increment and expects them to do the same, I mean who could accept a denial of few hundred thousand more a month???

So, if anyone knows someone who as a few thousand spare which they have no use for and would like to give away, do let me know. I may not be needy, but hell, I'm sure in need of it.

That tug-of-war

2008-06-02T19:28:00.000+08:00

It's hard being a parent nowadays. We have to ensure that our children grow up just right, else, we'll be seen as a failure. The one question that always comes up when gossiping about that mischievious boy or that uncouth girl is "Who's child is that?". Sad as it may be, that's where we look at when seeing a child misbehave.

It's hard to see a family where only one parent works and the other stays at home to look after the kids, unless of course, the one working also has a side job as an artiste - the singing/acting kind. Personally, I would love to stay home and look after my girl full time, but wifey wouldn't allow it. So, day after day, I find myself trudging to work, trying to make an honest living.

As with many families where both husband and wife are working, we found ourselves grappling with the question of where to send Izza while we worked. Having a maid was out of the question for us as that would mean entrusting the care of our precious to someone we barely know. In wifey's word, I'd rather stop working than hire a maid. So, it was either her mom or mine. Therein, lies the dillemma.

As parents, we want the best for our daughter. As filial son and daughter, we try not to disappoint our parents. The problem is in striking that balance. How many days at my mom's and how many days at her mom's? What about weekends? Would it be fair? At the center of this tug-of-war is the child, oblivious to what's happening. In my example, we agreed on 4 weekdays at my mom's and 1 at her mom's. Unfair? Try reading my early posts and you'll know why.

That arrangement was torn to shred when my dad-in-law complained that they got too little time with her that in time to come, my daughter wouldn't recognise them. Personally, I thought it was not such a bad thing if that were to really happen, but sparing athought for my wife I relented after a long period of consideration. A reeaaallllyyyyy long period of consideration. My point here is that even though the decisions we make as objectively as possible are for our child's own good, we still have to bear in mind the feelings of the other family members, most notably the grandparents.

I mean, I'm lucky that my mom and her mom get along. Izaa would have really long arms by now if they didn't as she'd be stuck in the middle of a really long tug-of-war with no clear winners and neither side wanting to give in. It would be made worse if either was calculative and starts to take into account the extra milliseconds the other patrty gets to spend with Izza. I mean I can't get it why some grandparents act the way they do. I know they love their grandkids, but can't they understand that the child is not their grnadkid alone.

Even if they think that the other family don't look after the child as well as they think they do, there is no need for them to start denying or limiting access to the child for the other family. Having seen this first hand, I pity such parents who are caught in the middle of over-bearing gandparents. I guess, the parents themselves have to be strong and explain clearly to the grandparents the rational of their decisions and not leave the grandparents to second guess. Any changes should be made known to both sides so that there is no misunderstanding, else the grandparents would start calculating the milliseconds.

I know it's hard. It could be overly straining trying to please everyone. The problem is we can't please everyone. The only thing we can do is to make them understand.

Can I say that?

2008-06-01T17:10:00.000+08:00

For the longest time, my wife and my sister has been saying that I'm too long-winded and have that tendency to go on and on with my blogs. It's akin to reading a school textbook on a weekend one might say, takes too much of one's time. Then again, I didn't read my textbooks even during the weekdays in my early pre-university days.

I do have to admit that they could be really long, but what can I say, I got a lot of things on my mind. So much to say but it just doesn't come out in normal conversations. I mean who'd want to hear your opinions about third world issues or the rising cost of living when sipping that cup of latte or slurping that ice blended drink at the cafe during one of oh-so-rare time you get to spend with friends or loved ones. We'd all much rather catch up on some gossip and finding out what our present company at that time are up to.

It here that I could really express myself and really say what I want. It's here that I get to compose my thoughts and pen them down with little worry over repercussions or a sound bite from an acidic tongue. There were far too many times, in the midst of trying to make my point, that I somehow managed to say the wrong things and end up hurting the one I was talking to. Somehow, I feel safe here, in the knowledge that whoever the post, or rant, was directed to would get that subtle hint without it coming out the wrong way, I hope.

I have to admit that there were some sly digs, and some dirty linen being washed in public. Thinking back, it's not really the wisest thing to do. Granted that the people I'm throwing mud at don't really know what a URL or what the WWW is. Which means they won't be reading this. Either way, anyone who's been reading my early posts would know that my dislike for my "other" family is understated. Still, sometimes, I can't help it, in spite of dearest's protestations.

Finding a balance is never easy. In fact, it's next to impossible to please everyone. Someone's gotta get the short end of the stick. Personally, I think I've been giving myself the short end of the stick on a regular basis. There were a lot of times when I have backed down from whatever decision that I have made earlier. Call me spineless, but I think backing down doesn't mean I'm in a losing situation all the time. At the very least, I manage to avert another long argument by saying, "Yes dear", "I leave it to you to decide" or "Up to you, honey".

I guess, one thing I've learnt these past few years is that you can't please everyone, but you could please the one who means the most in your life, even if comes at your expense. Plus, I've always believed that love depends a lot on sacrifices you make for one another.

That petrol subsidy

2008-05-30T16:50:00.000+08:00

It's sad isn't it when the very people you put your trust in betrays that trust?

How else would you term the Myanmar government saying that the people could eat frogs and fish to survive? It's really strange coming from the rulers who have lived the high life while the people they are supposed to be ruling are suffering. Haven't you heard? Myanmar has a new capital, Naypidaw, in place of Yangon. If not for the typhoon, and Ban Ki Mun's visit to Myanmar, one would have thought that the Generals themselves lived in wooden huts. But no! They are staying at grand palaces freshly minted while millions of people are starving. Try putting yourselves in your people's shoes Than Shwe!!!

OK enough politics.

Are you kidding....I ain't done yet!

The recent banning of petrol sales to foreign vehicles are bound to hit our neighbours up north. No matter how much they deny, they can never run away that they depend a lot on us Singaporeans for their livelihood. Banning the sale of petrol is akin to biting the hand that feeds you. Granted that the Malaysian Federal budget is far more than what we Singaporeans spend, you can't help but sympathise with the seafood restaurants and the many food stalls that make up the landscape whose businesses who are sure to suffer.

Think about it. If Singaporeans are unable to fill up petrol while they shop and dine, then what's the point of going there in the first place? Part of the attraction of going to JB is not just the cheaper goods, it's also the cheap petrol. Taking away one will definitely make it less appealing for us to go there. Add in the appaling crime rates, a definite turn off is obvious. I don't see the need to go to JB for seafood an having to go through that terrible jam at the checkpoint but not able to top up my petrol.

I'm not surprised that there is an uproar within their ranks, concerned at the impact it might have, both economically and socially. Knowing the Malaysians, this ruling may not even be implemented in the long run especially with the implication it might have for the "little people". Thinking about it, the ban does not apply to motorcycles as they "spared a thought for the little people". I just wonder how the guys with bikes more powerful than many cars we have on our roads could qualify as little people when their bikes cost more than the homes of many Malaysians. Makes sense?

Well, much of what the Malaysians do doesn't make sense to me anyway. Personally, if they don't want us to benefit from their subsidies, so be it. The way I see it, if we Singaporeans have to resort to subsidised Malaysian petrol, we might as well don't have a car in the first place.

Ok I'm done mouthing off.....thanks for reading....heheheh

Is there a solution??

2008-05-26T20:10:00.000+08:00

Was reading the papers just now. Something just tickled me. DPM Wong Kan Seng highlighted in Parliament the various disciplinary measures taken against those whose lapses enabled Mas Selamat to escape and wreaked untold discomfort to many of us Singaporeans.

The superintendent got sacked and his deputy was given the permanent order to hentak kaki and got demoted at the same time. Unfortunate for these 2 fellows, but someone's gotta pay. It's all good that something is done to prevent such escapes, but one has to ask, was the sacking of the superintendent enough? What I'm really asking is why, despite the calls from some quarters for more accountability, is Wong Kan Seng not the head to roll? The answer put forward was removing Wong Kan Seng would not have solved any problems. Really?

I doubt that Sir Alex Ferguson would still be manager of Manchester United if they were relegated to the Championship. Put it this way, while I'm not one who'd go out to lead a call for Wong Kan Seng to be removed, or any minister for that matter, I'd have thought that someone in the Cabinet be held responsible or even offered to resign over this whole fiasco. Not only has the populace been affected, the country's squeaky clean image has been tarnished.

I guess someone in the Cabinet would have been sacked had Mas Selamat sent a postcard from some remote location like Ungkaya Pukan in the Southern Philippines or Sawahlunto in Sumatra to the PM, Sm or MM saying, "Wish you were here!!!"

Something else in the papers recently also had me thinking - MM Lee, in response to calls from some people to provide subsidies, said that Singaporeans would always be asking for more even when a lot has been done by the Government to reduce the impact of rising costs. I have to agree that a lot has been done, but is it enough? The price of petrol has been jumping so much that it makes the ERS a distant memory. The price of rice has steadily climbed that the GST rebates seem like a pittance. The utilities bill tariffs has gone up but the growth bonus doesn't seem like it's as much as the Government makes it out to be.

In fact, MM Lee said providing subsidies is not the solution to the problem of rising costs. We, Singaporeans, need to work harder ad smarter to make Singapore a more dynamic place so that Singapore is always at the forefront. Hmmmmm....I've seen to have read that somewhere before. Oh, sacking Wong Kan Seng isn't the answer to the problem. I feel that in order to Singapore to remain competitive globally, Singapore needs to be investing a lot in the one resource we have - Singaporeans.

What's the use of investing globally when the needs of the average Singaporeans are, while not exactly neglected, not being addressed fully. What's the point of having trillions in our reserves if the people are having to worry constantly if they can remain debt-free, due to all the price hikes? C'mon Lee, show me the money!!

On another note, 2 close friends of mine, Iswandy and Isnani, are about to become a first time parents. Congrats bro and sis, welcome to the club!!

Some rocky questions...

2008-05-24T20:15:00.000+08:00

It's been a turbulent past couple of weeks hasn't it?? Typhoon Nargis swept through the Irrawady Delta and inundated the whole area wiping villages off the maps, killing whole families and leaving those alive clutching at what little strands of hope they may have. Sichuan was rocked at it's foundations by a big one and the same scenario played itself out in a matter of days. Last count: 55000 dead in Sichuan and God knows how many in Myanmar, considering the efficiency of the military government in accepting aid.

It really peeves me that the government could come up with the dumbest of reasons to not accept aid. Pride?? I say it's sheer stupidity. How could anyone put a price on the lives that are affected? Instead of accepting whatever aid that is made available, they managed to alienate themselves by refusing aid when it's practically at their doorstep. Maybe it's a Myanmar thing, just as it is a Singaporean thing to keep asking for more handouts from our government when we are so privileged. At least the Chinese, while being selective in accepting aid, did not reject aid outright, and in doing so, deserves the sympathy of the world.

The hot topic today is the judgement of the International Court of Justice on the sovereignty of Pedra Branca. As patriotic as I am, I just can't fathom all the hullaballoo with regards to rocky outcrop the size of a football field. My first question is, is it really worth all that trouble to go to the ICJ and argue about that rock? While I agree that if it's part of our island, we should defend and ensure no one encroaches on our territory. But that piece of rock was 40 nautical miles away. All this talk about sovereignty is good, but it's overkill to go to the ICJ for that piece of rock.

At the same time I can't understand the Malaysians. I mean if you left a flower pot at the void deck for a few years and don't claim it even after someone comes along and plants a chilli plant and tends to it for a few years more, what right have you to that tree or the flower pot for that matter. Does the flower pot mean that much to you in the first place for you to leave it at the void deck for years? I mean, Pedra Branca is in the middle of nowhere and no one in the right mind would even want to live that faraway. If there was gold or better still, oil there, heck, I'd send in the Commandos, if necessary, should the Malaysians even come close. But seriously, I doubt even Mahathir would want to live there.

Oh and talking about oil.......

I am getting worried at the ever climbing, nope, make that soaring price of oil. Last I heard, it's scratching $135 per barrel. Everyone knows that oil is just about the most precious commodity in the world now. For all the talk about green technology, nothing is close to replacing oil as the lifeline of the world. Not just it's economy. The increase in the price of oil results in the increase in everything else - which is what's happening right now. Food prices jumped, utility bills jumped, petrol pump prices jumped - twice in a matter of days.......and so am I.

If this goes on, I might have to learn how to drive like the Flintstones and start eating grass. What I'm saying is many of us have read about the Great Depression of the 1930s but were lucky enough not to have experienced it, if we're not careful, we might just go through something like it.

Oh and by the way, if you were at the moon or just came out from under your shell, Manchester United are the Champions of England and Europe!!!

A Trip to Redang - a year in the making

2008-05-05T18:11:00.000+08:00

We finally went to Redang Island - well not exactly, we went to Lang Tengah, which is just beside Redang itself. Had actually planned to go to Laguna Redang but was told it was fully booked. So was Berjaya. In the end, after souring the net we decided on D'Coconut Lagoon Resort on Lang Tengah. It's quite a decent resort as we were to find out later.

I started my leave on Tuesday, April 29th in anticipation of the need to service our car prior to the long drive up north. Izzati was left in the care of my parents whom we were to meet up in KL on 2nd May. We decided against bringing her to Redang as she was still too small and it was the right decision too seeing how we had to board the boats at Merang jetty.

So, we left home at 12 midnite, went for supper at Al-Ameen's at Bt Timah and left Singapore at 1am. The drive up north to KL was uneventful with only an overturned truck to gawk at on the way there. Had short stop at Seremban for a petrol top up as well as to stretch out the legs and we proceeeded on to Sungai Besi and bypasssed KL and went round to Cheras before linking back up to the Karak Highway.

That drive on the Karak Highway and the East Coast Highway is even scarier than the drive up the old Mersing road. Not only was it raining heavily on the road before Genting Highlands, it was foggy all the way after that.We had another half-hour stop at Temerloh for our Subuh Prayers and some much needed coffee. That was 6am. We still had 5 hours and roughly 400km to go before we reached Merang.

We barely made it to Merang 1115 hours and the boat was waiting for us at the jetty, we din have time to walk around and really see what was there. Just sort of jumped into the boat and off we went to the island paradise. Took us 1hr plus to get there and the sights that awaited us was breathtaking. Just look at the photos and you'll know what I mean. We skipped the snorkelling on the 1st day and that was justified cos the snorkeling would have sapped what little energy I'd have left after the long drive.

Quite honestly, the island was as laid back as one would get. There was no TV in the room though you did get Astro on the TV at the lounge area. Internet access was RM15 for 30 min access. A can of Coke set you back by RM5 and my wife had 3 cans. The water in the rooms was not drinkable though there was plenty of potable water available at the lounge.

We only went snorkeling on the second day. Was not as enjoyable as I would have liked as the currents were too strong and I spent more time pushing/pulling my wife back to the boat than I did looking at the marine life. Not that either of us could see much without any contact lenses on. If the views under water were less spectacular, the views on land were super. Been a long while since we felt that find powdery sand between our toes and crystal clear waters to frolic in

We had little complaint for our trip to Redang, though we wished we had more time to snoop around KualaTerengganu for some handicraft to be brought back. What little we did get was bought from the many little stalls that lined Merang jetty.

Check out the photo albums......heheheh

A big girl now

2008-04-08T09:10:00.000+08:00

How time flies....

Still feels like it was only yesterday that I first held you in my arms. That first time I heard your cries, tears immediately welled in my eyes. No words could ever describe the pride and joy I felt at that moment. It's all about her now, I remember telling myself back then.

Watching you grow over the months, hearing you cry whenever you wanted to be fed and needing some attention never fails to bring a spring in my steps, wanting to make sure that your every need is catered for. It's still about her now, till sometimes Mama and Papa feel we've been neglecting each other for you. That, I think, is a sacrifice we are both prepared for.

As time passes, I've noticed your penchant for the outdoors, be it in the mall or out in a park. You always had this thing for a trip to anywhere, as long as there is something new for you to feast your eyes on. Your tantrums at night always has Mama and Papa on our toes as we try our best to get you to sleep, even with you screaming into our ears.

At 6 months, you have learnt to pout your lips whenever I whips out my camera, never failing to give me a nice shot to snap. You have learnt to roll over and over almost to the edge of our bed. So much so, that we have to line the edge of our bed with pillows so that you'll have enough space to practice rolling safely.

I know there are more to come from you. I'm waiting with wide open arms for whatever that may come from you, cos, baby, you are my pride and joy.

Can we be happy?

2008-03-22T08:30:00.000+08:00

It's difficult living in Singapore. There are too many people here. There are too many vehicles on the road. Prices are perpetually on an upward trend while salaries dun seem to be reacting correspondingly. Gripes can be heard everywhere from Holland Rd to Geylang. This year alone, petrol prices jumped 4 times. In the same vein, so am I

Heard on the radio that there's a contest of sorts to find The Happiest Person in Singapore. The general consensus is that Singaporeans are a very sad bunch, we all seem to look at the glass half empty, instead of half full. Personally, I think it's true. Many of us just want an easy life - that's the Singaporean dream. That explains the long queues in 4D shops whenever there's a big prize at stake. Heck, I've even seen a pakcik with a songkok and batik printed shirt in one of the lines, hopefully clinging on to that ticket.

It doesn't help that probably 70% of us don't earn more than $3.5K a month. With ever-escalating prices everywhere, increase in GST, increases in utilities bill, many Singaporeans are, in effect, living hand-to-mouth. Whatever we earn at the end of the month goes towards paying bills with little left over for luxuries. With so many worries on our minds, mostly financial, can we ever be happy?

It all depends on what one expects of their lives. While there are those amongst us who would be happy with a 5-figure savings account, there are many more who wouldn't be happy till they see a 7-figure number in their accounts. It's easier said than done to be happy, when our minds are weighted down by incessant worrying. That said, we all could do with a step back and take a deep breath, just to see how lucky we are that we don't have to dodge stray bullets and 500-pound bombs exploding meters away from us.

A few days ago, my wife was looking through this site and saw a few posts with regards to the few amongst the muslims who tarnish the name of our religion by openly eating non-halal food and chugging down alcohols. I think my friends post about the malay girl who bought fishballs was by far the funniest. I mean, it's common sense when someone highlights to you that it's not permissible for you to eat it, then you should refrain from eating it. Heck, even my vegetarian colleagues would avoid eating at places where there are no vegetarian food, much less eat something with even a hint of animal derivatives in it. And they don't even have a "halal" certification to assuage their fears of the food being permissible. We do yet we ignore.

I admit that I'm far from being a good muslim. However, I stay away from non-halal food, and I definitely stay away from alcohol. Once, I was one of those who hung around coffee shops till the wee hours with my bike gang. There were those amongst us who drank. While it did make me uneasy, I hung around - for friendship. After a while though, I decided that I didn't want to lead that kind of lifestyle - the Mat lifestyle. So, I began to stay away, detaching myself from the group.

I reasoned that even though I do not drink, being around them and keeping quiet about it means I'm condoning them. I knew that I'm in no position to lecture them or advice them. I know that the sense of companionship and belonging to a certain clique may seem worth it to some, but to me, I wouldn't want to be in that position where I am morally in conflict with myself. Thus, rather than be privy to their party, I kept away.

Think of it this way, in any court of law, if you are privy to a robbery or an act of terrorism being planned and you kept quiet about it because those planning it are lifelong friends, you are as equally culpable. Case in point, the guy who did not report to the police when he saw the friend with his rifle in a Geylang hotel. He's charged and subsequently convicted. The same goes for us. Knowing a fellow muslim drinks and us doing nothing about it makes us equally culpable.

Yeah, I know I may have brickbats coming my way with the "lu punya kubur lu jaga, gua punya kubur gua jaga" jibes but me keeping my mouth shut means I'm condoning the actions of some of my friends. Thus, here I say it with the hope that when I go to the grave, I go with a clear conscience

That BIG news

2008-03-07T19:03:00.000+08:00

Yeap, time to wipe off the dust off this page. Been a month or so since I last rant. It's March and it's been raining like it's December all over again these last few days. While it's cooler, I don't really enjoy the rain. Almost everyone prefers an overcast sky. Not too hot, not too wet, just nice.

Princess just turned 5 months 2 days ago and how she has grown. I know this is the point where some people start thinking, "Oh no, another over-enthusiastic parent". Truth is, no parent can ever stop enthusing about their own kid. I'm no different. I amaze myself at how, between the 2 of us (my wife and I), lucky we are to have a really cute girl. There I go again. Seriously, though, I could almost jump for joy everytime someone passes by Izza's stroller, takes a peek and comments, "She's really beautiful".

Enough about her for now though.

The news now (kinda stale though) is about the disappearance of Mas Selamat Kastari. I know there have been various reports with regards to this, and we have yet to include the various rumours and speculations currently making its rounds in Singapore. The question that keeps being asked is where is he. Kind of a dumb question, but all the major newspapers were carrying that headline a few days ago. I mean, if anyone, besides Mas Selamat himself, could answer that, I'm sure the authorities would have swooped in on him. Why ask where he is when we all know where he went.

A toilet break.......

Yeah, I know. Lame. I can't help it. I really find it hard to fathom how a country that posesses one of the lowest crime rates in the world, one that has an efficient government and a diligent law enofrcement agency could fall for such a dumb trick. "Sir, I need a toilet break". Those were probably the last words anyone in a blue uniform has heard from him since. I experienced this trick almost first hand when I was serving National Service. A soldier went AWOL and returned to the camp reeeaaalllyyyy late. He was charged the next day and was sent to the lockup in the guardhouse while waiting to be charged. He told the Regimental Police (RP) guard that he needed a toilet break and promptly climbed out the unsecured ventilation window, clambered over the back gate and disappeared. He wasn't caught till a few years later when I left NS.

I mean if a dumbass soldier who went AWOL can manage to escape through that method, I would have thought that that avenue of escape would have been denied to such a high profile detainee at such a high security establishment such as the ISD. I really pity whoever it was who let his guard down so as to allow a high profile detainiee such as Mas Selamat Kastari escape. I mean, the RP Sergeant who was on duty during the soldier's escape only managed to escape a heavy punishment because it was not a really big issue in the wider context, one can only imagine the fate that awaits that unlucky soul who let this happen if the commision's inquiry to this event concluded that it was personal negligence that caused it.

One thing I am happy for is that his escape did not coincide with my NS unit's callup. I know for sure we would have been activated to assist in this operations, seeing how my unit was involved as 3rd tier backup during the IMF/World Bank Meeting. Like they did not have enough security then.

To Mas Selamat, thanks for bringing life to our mostly sedate lives and good luck trying to escape the dragnet. May you be caught sooner rather than later so thay the jams in the Woodlands Checkpoint do not last for much longer.

My latest rant!

2008-02-06T11:58:00.000+08:00

It's CNY tomorrow and I'm still at the office, holding the fort. It's only fair that the Chinese staff get to celebrate their new year, just I had my celebrations for Hari Raya. It seems like eons ago since I last said something here. A lot has happened since the turn of the year, and by all accounts, everything seems to be turning out fine.

My princess has started smiling and laughing already. However, having turned 4 months yesterday, she has still to learn how to roll over. More often than not, she just lies on her back staring at me or her mama waiting for something to happen. Doesn't seem to be a proactive baby lah - more a reactive one thus far. Either way, I can't get enough of her toothless grin. Talking about babies, had a comical conversation with a friend whose son was born within days of Izza, where we joked about bethroting our kids. It's nothing more than just a comical conversation, but I am intrigued at that thought.

For sure I won't do that to my daughter, I'd rather let fate and her own heart take care of that. I mean thinking about it, I'm not sure how I would react at being told, "Son, this is your future wife". It's a good thing that such practices are practically unheard-of in our society though it may still be prevalent in some social backwaters in a bid to preserve one family's social status, at the same time avoiding that social status barrier. It would be side-splitting to hear the son reply to that proclaimation with, "Thanks Dad, she's pretty, but I'm in love with a guy".

Date released a few days back showed that the population of Singapore is nearly 4.6million. of that at least 3 million are residents with the rest being foreign talent. It just amazes me how many people are cramped almost sardine-like in Singapore. I mean, have you seen the human traffic at the MRT stations during peak hours? Yeah, we could probably flatten Bukit Timah and Mt Faber and use that soil for further reclamation to further expand Singapore but would that alleviate the crunch that takes place every rush hour. I doubt so. While it is imperative that we remain competitive and in doing so, having to boost our dwindling population, does it have to be at the cost of the comfort of the residents?

Put it this way, the last time I took the MRT I almost puked in the train from all the "aroma" that was swirling around the already-stale air. I mean, you put in the un-deodorised people together with the hundreds of foreign workers rushing to get to Little India and you know you got a weapon of mass destruction right there. For me that was enough, don't these people practice basic hygiene? I got off the train and waited for a less crowded one. That's not the end of it. We have yet to account for all those ungracious locals who think they own the damn train. Soon, I swore off public transportation.

The recent announcement of the expansion of the MRT services coupled with expanded bus services might be able to alleviate these issues - not including the ungracious Singaporean. The numerous courtesy campaigns doesn't seem to work on these people. Talking about that recent announcement, what it means basically is, you can own a car, but I'm gonna penalise you hard if you drive into town and add to the congestion. Some may think it's poor planning. I think it was a superb strategic move by the Government.

Here's how it works.

First they, increase the number of COEs. This in turns lowers the price of the COE, making it more affordable to own a car. Then, they flood the market with China-made cars, as with everything that comes from China, cheap but not necessarily good. Then, they relaxed car-financing rules. Now, those 3 moves automatically allowed those who previously couldn't afford a car, to suddenly be able to own and operate one.

As the car population grew and the congestion became worse, they are able to justify increasing the ERP charges and adding more gantries. To sweeten the deal, the ARF is reduced by 10%, which translates to roughly $1500 for a Corolla and probably $5000 for a Merc or Beemer. The ERP raise is almost 50% and it is a recurring charge, while the ARF is only a 1-time charge at the point of purchase. Well, do the maths.

Can't you see? First we are all drawn towards cheaper car prices and, once we are saddled with 10-yr loans for our cars, we are slapped with the ERP raise and more gantries. To the average Singaporean, who is living their dream of owning a car, it is sucking us dry. To the Government, it's ka-ching.......

PS: I just wonder what great package the Government is going to come up with for the next election to make us forget the ERP raise.

First day of 2008.....364 more to go.....

2008-01-02T10:45:00.000+08:00

No countdowns, no happy-merrying. Just a sombre me, a half-awake wifey and a sound asleep baby on the bed as the clock struck 12 on 1st January 08. That's in stark contrast to the way we celebrated 06 and 07.

06 was spent under some trees along Marina Promenade arguing while waiting for the fireworks followed by some shed tears with promises to start afresh. 07 was spent somewhere in the vicinity with a much happier outlook also catching fireworks. This year, it's just the 3 of us dozing off with no fanfare whatsoever.

Not that it means nothing to us, just that the expanding family has brought about different perspectives to both of us. No longer are we thinking only for ourselves, we've got Izza around to keep us in check. Not that she scolds us or anything, I'll spank her if she does, just that her mere presence reminds us constantly of the things that are more important.

Some of my friends have started their A-Z of their hopes for 2008 after my last post which included an A-Z of my previous year. That's great for them, I just hope that now they have it in words, they would work harder and not forget what they have hoped and aimed for. I don't think it'd be a problem for them though seeing how they review almost every action they take.

Which is the reason why I don't put down my hopes and dreams in ink somewhere. For me, my hopes and dreams are fluid. They are not cast in stone or ink. I mean, at a certain point in time, I may have an affinity towards something but over the course of the year, that affinity may change. While it's good to have something to work towards through the year, it may be a burden as we get closer to the end of the year.

Having set a target at the start of the year, we'd be forced to review those targets at the end of the year and, inevitably, we end up focusing on the failures, trying to disect it, understand what went wrong and try to make good the following year. Thus, instead of focusing on our achievements and important milestones, we peg ourselves back to review the what-ifs, what-nots and what could or should have been.

I've had enough of having to work towards a set target in the office that I do not want to live my personal life the same way I live my professional life. For me, life is too precious and fragile to be judged by the failures of the lofty targets we may have set for ourselves and certainly not worth the heartache of reviewing the failures of what we did not achieve compared to what we did achieved. Between having to disect my failure to lose weight and to see Izza gain weight or reach a certain height, I'd choose the latter anytime.

I'd rather see myself as a success over the year by focusing on the achievements of me and my family than to see myself as an abject failure by poring over the variables which contributed to the failures. At the end of the day, it's how you want to see yourself in the mirror......

My year in reflection.......

2007-12-31T12:21:00.000+08:00

It's 4pm on New Year's Eve and while practically half of Singapore are busying themselves with getting ready for a countdown party, I'm still at work, staring blindly at my computer screen, my mind wandering aimlessly through the various memories etched in my mind through the last 364 days.

It doesn't really matter to me that I have to stay back at work today. I mean the few hours of freedom in my office is something to savour. While the other team are engrossed in the rounds of Warcraft, here I am, punding away furiously on my keyboard, all the while trying to recall the milestones that did take place. It may mean nothing to some others, but the following A-Z of the year means the world to me.

Arguments - yeap there were loads of these, so much it nearly pushed us over the edge.
Baby - the saving grace after 4 years of marriage, our pride and joy.
Cameron Highlands - drove up in March, during the CNY weekend, tiring trip with torturous traffic jams on the way there but worth every minute when we did get there
Death - some friends passed on, sadly and tragically. May Allay bless their souls and places them in exalted company, Insyallah.
Education - finally, restarted my Adv Diploma course which has been on hold for so long, hopefully I'll get the cert this coming year.
Fatherhood - obviously the greatest thing to have ever happened to me, apart from my birth
Grandma/grandpa - both my parents were away at the start of 2007, returning home from their hajj as grandparents, with my niece's birth
Hajj - both my parents completed their pilgrimage earlier this year, successfully, thanks to Allah.
In-laws - my constant gripe though, I'd have to admit, it's becoming lesser of a problem now
Jelapang Rd - the place I call home, close to friends (they've been very quiet these past few months tho), close to some family, home for a few more years still
KKH - our most visited place this year
Leave - almost ran out of leave at the end of the year, as I kept utilising my leave to go for my wife's checkups at KKH
Marriage - no, not mine again, my cousin got married, as did a friend from my pre-u days, congrats Syahid and Sutinah and Juny and hubby (his name keeps slipping my mind, sorry sis)
Nuryn Izzati - the name of my precious baby, means "the light of our chastity" or "cahaya kemuliaanku"
October - the month where she was born, eight days after her mom's birthday
Promotion - wifey got a promotion this year, and a salary hike, a great achievement for her after more than 10 years of slogging at the same company.
Queasy - the feeling I got when the gynae told my wife, she'd have to have an induce birth the following morning on our last checkup
Renovate - something we'de like to get done on our home, though not on our list of priorities, at least we did change to a bigger bedroom set out of necessity
Sex - of the baby, I was sure it was gonna be a boy, though honestly, it didn't matter, I'm equally over the moon.
Trips - went on a trip to Cameron in March and KL in June, none since then, feet are itching to go somewhere soon
Up - the ever increasing price of everything, from petrol to electricity to water and even baby diapers, the only thing that doesn't increase on a similar scale is our pay
Videographer - my first and only project to do wedding videography for my cousin's wedding, dun think I'll be venturing out to do it on a part-time basis, it's tiring lah!
Wife - my greatest companion, critic, supporter and headache, love her still in spite of all the headaches
X-rated - the feeling in my head during one of the more serious hbouts of wife-induced headaches
Yeap Min Li - the gynae who monitored my wife during her pregnancy and delivered my baby girl, arguably the most important people in my life now
Zzzzzzzz - something we both have been struggling to have since the birth of our daughter, a happy problem we'd have anytime.

Well, that was basically the year that passed. As far as resolution goes, I haven't made any. I don't remember making any resolutions the year before, which just says that come the same time next year, I'm likely to have forgotten what were my resolutions I made for 2008. I might as well not make any resolutions to begin with.

Simplistic? I'd call it being realistic.

That fateful day....

2007-12-26T07:31:00.000+08:00

Three years ago today, we watched in horror as the drama that was the tsunami unfolded before us in places some of us have never heard of, Meulaboh for instance. That was the day where many of us first read or heard the word tsunami.

As the events around the region and across the Indian Ocean took place, we affixed ourselves to our lovely TV sets, in our cosy sofas, sipping cold drinks with awe in our eyes watching the destruction wrought on those faraway lands which many have come to know as paradise on earth. Pristine locales such as Phuket and Maldives springs to mind when we think of sandy, sun drenched beaches.

Soon, the world sprang into action like never before, amazed by the destruction and overcome with grief for those who perished, yet filled with compassion for those left alive and counting the toll of destruction. There was no need to call for a donation drive. People from all walks of life put aside their busy schedules and came to the fore to give what they can and to help where they were needed. It's amazing how the human spirit shines through in the face of such adversity. Governments and MNCs doled out billions of dollars worth of emergency supplies, donations and funds to rebuild these devastated lands.

The outpouring of grief for those lost, the lasting images of the waves striking the shores, and the footage of the little child playing on the sands as the wave swept through will forever be etched in the memories of those old enough to remember and realise the gravity of the event. Truth be told, it was a "Kennedy" moment for many of us - we seem to remember exactly where we were, what we were doing when the news broke through.

Now 3 years on, we have been informed through the media that the reconstruction projects which have been taken on are truly well underway and near completion. For us Singaporeans, the bonds which some of us have forged with the Acehnese when we helped them through their testing times, will forever be remembered with gratitude by them, no doubt. Personally, I am glad that we have been able to do some good in our lives, no matter how insignificant our contributions may have been.

To see the news footage these past few days, really does warm my heart. Knowing that our contributions were put to great use and great effect for those affected, does rid me of those sceptical questions swirling in my mind. It gives me great solace reading about how our contributions have helped in rebuilding that little town of Meulaboh, which I wouldn't have known of had it not been for the tsunami.

The meaning of family

2007-11-20T08:11:00.000+08:00

Say what?!

2007-11-15T08:24:00.000+08:00

Been a REALLY long while since I said something here. A short hiatus to recharge the old creaky batteries. It's a month now since little Izza first cried. Man, she's growing so fast. She gained 1.2kg in that month. Well, for my part, I've been through a lot too......not least, the fiasco that was Hari Raya, which is supposed to be a joyous occasion for a first-time dad.

Let's just leave it at that. Details will only open up sore, healing wounds.

One would expect that a first-time dad like myself would go on and on about his experiences of fatherhood. About how he feels, his fears and his headache at waking up in the wee hours to change diapers or feed his baby. I do think that's a bit too cliched - even for someone who loves his cliches, like myself. I mean, yeah, I'm proud to be a dad and I'm revelling in that challenge of raising my princess - feeding and diaper changes in the wee hours included. Which dad wouldn't rite?

Therein lies the problem. Too many of us come to think of our blogs as an online diary. We confide our personal, some too personal, thoughts in it. Some details everything they did in a day. Even the most mundane of details get airtime. I know that blogs are a good way of letting people who matter know what we've been up to. Then again, while some of us like to know what's new in your lives, others cringe at having to read those mundane details such as where you were at specific times, what you did in vivid details, what you ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I have heard people ask me, does such details interest you? Did the author need to indulge us with those details? Does the author really think that their life is that interesting that we'd want to know what goes through your digestive system? Does the author think that their life is that spectacular to fill it with pseudo-suspence?

I do agree that sometimes we all post a blog on impulse. Sometimes, our self-serving behaviour comes to the fore and leads us to believe that the very mundane details we loathe to read from other people's blogs, actually is interesting enough for others to read. I'm not immune to that. I actually do ask myself, does the problems or challenges I face on the homefront makes for interesting reading? I am guilty of the same thinking that it's my blog and what I write there is just my thoughts with little or no consequence to others. I am guilty of posting on impulse - just to let off some steam - knowing that the otherhalf would read it. Lame excuse, I know

Personally, I won't blame the author for all the mundane details and the overdose of self-centred mindset that the world does revolve around them. I mean, it's their prerogative to do so and, at the same time, make themselves look like attention-seekers. As a reader, while we reserve the right to criticise a post, we would do well to excercise tongue and finger control to avoid misunderstandings with the authors which may lead to unpleasant scenes.

Well, for me, I'm working on that finger and tongue control.

My pursuit of happyness

2007-10-14T19:19:00.000+08:00

Eid Mubarak to all!! Hope you are all having a better Syawal than me!!!

It's the second day of Syawal and princess is enjoying the attention from all the visitors. I'd like to think so cos she's been sleeping through it all. After all it's her first Hari Raya and our first as a family, even if it means we can't go around and visit any of our relatives and friends.

As much as I'd like to gripe about all those people who skip fasting during Ramadhan, yet never fail to be decked out in all their brand new Hari Raya clothes and accessories which may only be used this one time, I'll give it a rest this time. While it's quite irritating and frustrating to see their shamelessness, there's only so much we could do. I mean, although we could approach them and advice them nicely, but who's to say they won't reply snidely with a scowl on their face. And that's putting it nicely.

I watched The Pursuit of Happyness on cable over the weekend. I must say that it was a really good movie. Made me wonder why I didn't catch it the first time it came out in the cinema. Something Will Smith said in the movie just resonates within me - maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. Somehow, that line in the movie just struck a chord in me. Is it possible that happiness is just a state of mind that never really exists, that it is created as means of purpose in our lives, to give us something to work towards? Happiness.

Why am I feeling philosphic? Simple, my in-laws are staying with me. Well, my MIL is around to take care of wifey and baby while she is in confinement. It's not anyone's fault really, I made her stay with us, else, we'd have to stay at their place. Not a very interesting prospect.

Honestly, I've never really gotten along with my in-laws. Perhaps, a part of me just refuses to get along. Outwardly, everything may seem OK. I mean, it's not like I don't acknowledge them or act despicably in their presence - I just wasn't brought up that way. It's just I can't stand the way they do things and the way they think. Some things happened over the course of the week, compounded by what transpired this morning that made me blew my top. I'm not going into details for wifey's sake, suffice to say, I've no love nor respect for my in-laws.

Yeah, I know. Who doesn't have problems with the in-laws. This is why I think happyness for me is just that - a concept that I may never be able to truly attain, as long as I'm in conflict with myself on whether or not to confront my anger, dislike and disrespect towards the family I may never be able to love.

Izza down with jaundice

2007-10-09T09:12:00.000+08:00

Izza went for her checkup yesterday morning at Bukit Batok Polyclinic.

Got a bit of worrying news - her jaundice was at 279. The attending doc decided that it was best that we sent her to KKH A&E. We preferred it if she was not warded, but it was not to be. She is warded for now. She "checked-in" yesterday at about 2.30pm. After "checking-in", we stayed a while and went home. We were both a bit tired, still getting used to waking up in the middle of the night to take care of her, so we slept the rest of day away.

Spent the night resting at home. Got some pleasant surprises with some of the gifts. I'm sure Izza was ecstatic at the bling she got from Uncle Aiz , Uncle Andy, Auntie Irah and Auntie Nanie -in no particular order - for the beautiful piece. Not forgetting the dozens of clothes she has been getting. We both missed her terribly last night, even if we slept soundly. Both of us kept sniffing at her unwashed clothes..... Understandably, wifey was a bit distraught at the thought of leaving her in KKH, but it was for the best

Wifey check with the ward earlier but was told that she needed to be held back for a while yet. We'll definitely be visiting her after I finish work today, hopefully, she'll be discharged later today too.

A crazy Saturday

2007-10-03T09:57:00.000+08:00

I'd like to think of my days of being jam-packed with activities. After comparing my days with those of my friends whom I have had the privelege to read on their blogs, I realise, my days are relatively sedentary. Then again, wifey is not exactly a big fan of "joining the crowds", and she is not in any condition to do so anytime soon anyway.

We're less than 2 weeks away from Aidilfitri and wifey and me have yet to go to the Bazaar at Geylang to do any real shopping. We did stop by once to get the vadei from the Indian stall outside the Teh Tarik Eating House. I swear they must be selling the best vadei there. Not only are they delicious, they are practically fresh from the wok. However, a 10min stop to buy food does not count right? Talking about the vadei, I might just go there tonight for it.

OK, back to the issue of having jam-packed days. Last Saturday must have been my most hectic day to date. For one, we had our aircon installed - yes, finally we bought a System 2 unit. Unfortunately, a System 3 wouldn't work for my house since the other bedroom is acorss the kitchen - stupid HDB architects. So while the air-con guy installed it, I went out to Bukit Panjang Plaza (BPP). Needed the cash to settle the aircon and the one near my home was down.

While I was crossing the road, I heard a car honking furiously. As I turned my head to the right, it happened. The car - a taxi actually - screeched, thought not in time, and slammed into the side of a black MPV, I didn't quite make out the model. And I was barely 5 meters from the accident. The taxi was driving parallel to where I was heading, while the MPV had wanted to make a right turn into the road I was crossing. I noticed the lady driver of the MPV having the kind of blur look, as if she didn't know what she was doing, and the MPV was turning at a very slow speed. Even after the impact, she had the same look on her face and proceeded to drive the car to the side of the road and sat inside her car for a good 5 minutes before she got out and examined the damage. Beats me why she decided to turn when the taxi was approaching and doing so at such a slow speed. Well, in any case, I'm a witness to the accident though the taxi driver haven't called me up yet.

Besides the air-con installation, we had our car polished by a mobile car grooming pro - I'd like to think of him as a pro, anyway. Normally, I'd polish my car on my own, however, I decided to oursource the polishing this time round because the previous time I attempted to polish my car during Ramadhan, I hardly had any energy left to do anything else. After all that work was done, I was left with the arduous task of cleaning up the mess of the aircon installation. Halfway through it, my vacuum went bust. So I did what came naturally - sleep in my air-con bedroom. We did get the vacuum replaced later that night and continued with the cleaning.

Well, that was pretty packed. Eversince that Saturday, we've been sleeping with the aircon on everynight. Now, I'm just bracing myself for next month's utilities bill.

Grappling with uncertainties

2007-09-25T08:38:00.000+08:00

Tick tock tick tock.........

The seconds tick by..........

Sitting at his desk, staring at the screen, fingers furiously punching away at the keyboard, he's slowly approaching the defining moment in his life. As he waits for the call that may come at anytime, his thoughts meander through the labyrinths in his mind. Seconds turns to minutes, minutes turns to hours. Questions abound. Questions that have been tearing away at him for the last few months. Questions he could not answer. Now, as the hour approaches, the questions that has been hanging over him seems more and more like a burden he is struggling to shoulder.

The greatest gift - that's what some call it, even if the gift comes with loads of responsibilities. Nevertheless, he knows it's a responsibility that will provide him with an array of intangible benefits, not to mention his source of happiness and pride. At the same time, the burden of responsibilty weighs heavily on his mind, not knowing if he can fulfil his responsibilities and knowing that he'll be answerable for any of his failings. As he grapples with the uncertainties that follows, he leaves it to the Almighty to show him the right path.

Many a father has gone through what I am going through right now as will many more after me, comforting himself in the knowledge that it will all be allright.

A bit dramatic, I'd readily admit. Not every dad-to-be wallows in melodramatic notions. But in the stillness of the nights and in between the lull hours at the office, that's what goes through my mind. Having been married for 4 years, many would say it's high time we started a family. We have never planned to start a family late, in fact, there was no plan. It was just a ride we took from that beautiful day on 7th June 2003 and never got off. I mean, we didn't really make any plans as to when to have a baby, we sort of just got on with life and if it came along, good, else we'd just go on.

Well, that day arrived 8 mths ago when the nurse at KKH said, "Congratulations, you're pregnant" to her. Initially, it was more of a shock than anything else. The realisation that I was soon to be a father did not really sink in till the next day. It was then that I began to have questions in my mind as to my ability to provide for my wife and daughter. I began to reflect on the past 3 and a half years of marriage and asked if I had been a good enough husband and if I could be a good father. As much as a resounding YES would have done a great deal to boost my ego, I know that from that moment, my ego will always come second to my wife's and my child's needs.

With those 3 words, my priorities immediately changed. Gone were the dream of owning that flash car, that cool gadget and that swanky AV system for my home. Those are no longer my personal priorities though I'd be a damn fool to say no to them if the opportunity arises. In their places, my only dream right now is to raise my family well, and hopefully do well enough that my family and I has a place in His good graces.

It's all about her now. No turning back, no quitting.

As for the questions that hang over me, they are still there. And most probably will remain there till the day that I die, for I am only the executor of His will and He will be the one to judge me when the time comes.

Al Fatihah........

2007-09-20T11:53:00.000+08:00

For those who have read about the missing 8-yr old who disappeared after going to a night market in Petaling Jaya. She has been confirmed to be the dead girl found stuffed into the sports bag....

I can only say that I feel the grief of the girl's parents and pray that the monster who did this is caught and given the just punishments.

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Thursday/Frontpage/20070920142056/Article/index_html

Between love and beliefs

2007-09-20T08:05:00.000+08:00

I'd go to the edges of the world for you........My heart is yours forever....

Just some of the sweet nothings we have, at one point in our lives, whispered into the ears of our significant other. Deeply in love, smitten by the imagery of bliss, we'd give anything to be with our other half. Just how far we'd go is subjective.

Admittedly, I once felt that same overwhelming feeling of euphoric excitement when my then-gf reciprocated my feelings for her. I could have shouted, "I'm the king of the world" while standing at the top of Mount Faber when we were officially together. The feeling of being in love is probably the greatest feeling in the world, the only other thing that probably comes close is the initial reaction of someone who's won first prize in TOTO or 4D. I wouldn't know of the latter as I never did try my luck, and probably never will.

Why am I talking about this is because of a chat with a good friend of mine about how some people would risk cutting familial ties for the sake of their love. Honestly, I do find it disturbing that there are people who'd risk everything they have in their life to pursue a love they desire. While I am disturbed that they'd forsake their religion, I'm even more shocked at their decision to cut familial ties to be with the one they love. Renouncing Islam, for me, is between you and God, but being disowned by your family has more repercussions as it involves the very people who gave birth and raised us.

I know of a malay lady who did just that. We used to work together. I did ask her once if she was brought up a muslim and she concurred. However, I dared not question her decision to lead an atheistic life now with her non-Muslim husband. While I know of some Indian Muslim guys from my reservist unit who were Muslims when I first met them, but have since, changed their names and seen wearing crosses. Another ex-colleague of mine re-converted back to Hinduism after his marriage broke down. I do wonder sometimes if the euphoria of our love for someone can be more compelling than our beliefs.

I'm not sure if I am daring enough to walk that path. I'm not even sure if I can love a girl more than I love my family. For me, if it ever came down to having to choose between the 2, I'd probably be plumping for the family, though, that in itself represents a gut-wrenching decision which I pray I'd never have to make. Luckily for me, my wife, despite her failings, loves me too much to ever put me through it. I just hope that those people who forsook their family for their love never have to go through a divorce as they'll have no family to turn to if the love they risked everything for breaks down

Oh, and I am not even talking about those Malays who confess to be Muslims, but do not live by it. Well, as the Mat Rock would say, "Lu punya kubur lu jaga, gua punya kubur gua jaga." (You worry of your grave, and I'll worry about mine)

Marriage changes us

2007-09-05T09:27:00.000+08:00

A friend asked me the other day if I would be willing to change a bad habit which my wife loathes. That took some thinking.

One bad habit I have of wiping my hands dry on my clothes after washing them instead of using a hand towel or a paper towel. My wife hates it and goes to great lengths to remind or chide me whenever I do it in front of her. Still, I do it occasionally.

It's not so much of a intentional thing to irritate her but it's a habit which I have been so used to since young, even my mom nagged me about it all the time. It's kinda automated - I look around for a towel or something and if I see nothing, the t-shirt or shorts seems OK. I believe that we all conciously try to improve ourselves but at times, we fall into that lulling sense of comfort that we revert back to the bad habits that has been ingrained.

When I was single, I didn't really care much about what people used to say about my bad habits. I thought, why should you care, you are not my mother. Funny thing is, I didn't really register much of what my mom used to nag at me either. There's this degree of indignance with which we regarded all manner of advice coming from those whom we think aren't qualified to judge us. I used to listen and cringe when girls tell me, I am who I am, and if a guy can't accept my flaws, then he doesn't deserve me. Or something along those lines.

Looking back, the need to be loved as we were was so paramount that it overshadowed everything else, including the wisdom of said advice. That idealistic thought of being loved for who we are often clouds our judgement. Most of the time, the very people uttering those indignant words can be found contradicting themselves later, attempting to change themselves when "the one" comes along.

Honestly, I was guilty of pretty much the same thing. I thought a girl should love me for who I am and accept all my flaws. Then, I got married and I realised that as much as she should love me for all that I am, I have to make sure she continues to love me by eradicating the bad habits and others that she doesn't like. I wish she thinks the same way too. At the end of the day, it's those little things in life that makes or breaks your life.

Marriage changes us in more ways than we realise. Some of us eradicate our bad habits, some cut ties with old friends the spouse is uncomfortable with, some would swallow their pride and take all the crap that comes while those who don't adapt, more often than not, don't last. As resistant we are to change, it is necessary.

Sudden death

2007-08-30T13:33:00.001+08:00

Before I begin my babbling, I'd like to offer my condolences to the familes of Rhys Jones and Antonio Puerta. It's sad to hear/read of their passing, especially of how it happened.

Rhys Jones was an 11 year old boy from Liverpool who was shot dead, presumably, by other teens on his way home after a football kickabout. Tragic. Antonio Puerta, a 22-year old professional footballer with Sevilla FC in Spain died 3 days after suffering a heart attack during a football match. Even more tragic is the revelation that he was about to be a father in 6 weeks. Doubt any pregnant wife can handle that loss at such a critical time in her life. Closer to home, a 17 yr old student , who happened to be the son of a colleague, died after collapsing at the finish line of a local triathlon meet. More recently, an Army captain died, also after collapsing at the finishing line of a 21km run.

What saddens me most is not so much that these people were so young and had bright futures, it's the loss felt by those left behind. I'm a guy and I can't imagine nor fathom the gamut of emotions gripping a heavily pregnant wife who's weeks away from delivering her first baby when told that her husband, father to her unborn child has died, even if the death has been inevitable for a few days. I think to describe her as distraught would be an injustice to her.

I'm yet to be a parent but I'm in no doubt that my colleague would have been as equally inconsolable when she first found out about her son's tragic passing. It's just tragic how such young lives with bright futures ahead of them, no doubt the ray of hope for their parents or spouses, had their lives cut short. I can only hope that those left behind is given the strength and courage to move on with life though I just can't begin to imagine having to cope with such a tragic loss.

At the end of the day, it's by His will that we are here and, by His will, we shall leave. As cheesy and antiquated as it may sound, we are all guilty of taking those we love for granted even when there are constant reminders to cherish them while they are still with us.

Sudden Death

2007-08-30T09:34:00.000+08:00

Patience: Sign of strength or weakness

2007-08-29T09:08:00.000+08:00

Just a little patience....Axl Rose sang.

Some people have it in abundance. I'd like to think I'm one of them. I mean I know everyone has patience, some with a higher emotional threshold before they burst at the seams. Not everyone can remain calm after being hit at the back of the head with a metal pipe out of the blue. That story's for another day though.

Patience is a double-edged sword. While some see it as a strength of one's character, others may see it as a sign of weakness or of gross meekness. Take my example. My inaction at being hit with a metal pipe can be seen as a sign of mental toughness in not reacting to such provocation or as a sign of my fear for fights, aka, cowardice.

How we define it to be depends on how well we know the person displaying that patience. In my case, those close to me would probably say that it was my strength in character in not responding, while those close to the agent provocateur would probably say I was scared to retaliate. Whichever way you see it, I'm pretty sure I'd have whooped his ass had I retaliated. Enough about that though.

Some things happened over the weekend also tested the limits of my patience. I'm not going to talk about it in detail right now because of a promise I made. However, it would be suffice to say it's a story that would never go away. Unfortunate me. It's just something I have to live with, though not necessarily mean having to reconcile with. While chatting with some friends, I said something which made me think again, " It's like having to deal with one problem isn't a stiff enough test for me, God decided that 2+1 would be a better test."

As much as I know and believe that one marries into a family and never just the person alone, I do wish that I can choose my family members at times. I guess it's all part of His grand design he has for all of us. For me, it's dealing with the people around me for whom I have neither care nor love for. I know that I have to remain patient for my wife and, especially, my baby's sake.

Please God, give me the strength to overcome this test you have given me with my dignity and sanity intact. Amin Ya Rabbal Al Amin.

Missionaries and dreams

2007-07-31T15:52:00.000+08:00

23 South Koreans left for Afghanistan for what they called a humanitarian mission. Now, 21 are left huddled together in some desolate place in the middle of nowehere. Meanwhile, the South Korean government are willing to negotiate with terrorists in order to secure the release of their nationals.

I was watching the news yesterday and it showed clips of the distraught relatives of the first man who was killed. Apparently, they were there on humanitarian missions and denied strenuously that they were there for missionary work. That raises a question in itself. Who in the right mind, without mush governmental support would go into what is practically still a combat zone to do humanitarian missions, unless they are protected??

I, personally, doubt the veracity of their statements of the exact nature of their mission, considering that they were there as a church group and the first to be shot was a pastor. But that's just me, ever the skeptic. It has since emerged that a second man has been shot dead, an IT worker. I just wonder where the doctors or nurses are in this rag tag bunch of aid workers. There was no mention of them going under the auspices of any UN aid team or Mercy Relief or other NGOs. It's just 23 church goers. Hmmmmmmmmm.......no missionary work eh?

On to something more pertinent to life.........me!! Narcissistic me!!

Well, as mentioned in passing in my previous entry, I bought a new bed, well, actually I changed my whole bedroom set out of necessity. In the meantime, my evil twin was tempting good old me into upsizing our baby. I mean, the car. Yeah, I was tempted to do so. Especially after seeing a few of my friends driving the same car upgrading recently. Did some scouting and fell in love with the Suzuki SX4 and Hyundai Avante. Damn, they are fine. For a while, I dreamed of driving around town with either one.

After doing some scouting and doing a bit, actually a lot, of calculations, it dawned on me that ditching my current swanky ride, would mean having to forkout roughly $7k cash after trade in. Gulp. Wifey wasn't too excited about that prospect especially with Baby on the way. Come to think of it, I can make do with this car for 5 more years. I've gone to more places with her in the last 2 years than I could have even imagined. Sure, we could use the extra boot space and a lil more legroom, but in the end, common sense prevailed.

It's all about practicality. What's the point of paying so much more when the job gets done nontheless? What's the point of driving a dream car if it's beyond your means at the end of the day? At the end of it all, I realised that it's not practical getting a bigger car now when it's only me wifey and Baby using it mostly. So my dear Picanto, you'll be with me for a while yet. Maybe, we'll take Baby on a road trip soon.......

My personal preparation for her

2007-07-11T16:59:00.001+08:00

Happy thoughts!!! Time for happy thoughts!!!

Yeah, well, at a time when I'm preparing myself for my biggest challenge so far, I could do without negative thoughts. It's proving more difficult to achieve than just thinking about it. At times when my thoughts are supposed to be calm, I find myself swearing at other people, especially when I'm driving. No, I'm not about to launch another tirade at idiotic drivers or fire another broadside at inconsiderate drivers.

3 .5 months more to being a daddy and the stress of it is piling up. I am beginning to shudder at the thought of waking at night for a diaper change. I am fearing those long nights trying to put her to bed. And I am having nightmares at having to confront myself with what's left in the diaper when I take a peek over the hedges. In spite of all my fears, this is one responsibility I'm not going to shirk, not that I shirked any of my previous responsibilities before.

As with all things new which we come across in various stages in our lives, we adapt. We all adapted when we moved to a new school after PSLE, the same thing happened after our O-levels. Things changed and we all adapted. Fatherhood is no different. It's just another stage, just another level up. A step up that's eagerly anticipated, horror stories from other parents notwithstanding.

Wifey's belly growing bigger and I've begun communicating with her via Morse Code on top of the nightly talks coaxing her to sleep and not give her mummy sleepless nights. She's been a good girl thus far and have been listening to me. That's daddy's girl. Most importantly, wifey doesn't have trouble sleeping or eating. Oh, and we got ourselves a new bedroom set for our room. King-size bed some more!!!

The current sets' going to the spare room. It's not that the set we have is falling apart, it's just that we needed a bigger closet than our current 5 foot 3 inches closet could afford us. Daddy's girl's arrival only hastened that process of changing our bedroom set. Yeap, some movement of furniture expected in the coming weeks. In any case, I have managed to convinced wifey to ask her parents to stay with us during her confinement. Thus, the need for a closet and bed for them. Rather than get a small bed for them, we might as well get a bigger bed for us!!!

To Sir with luck

2007-06-21T12:51:00.000+08:00

Sir Salman Mustdie......err...I mean Sir Salman Rushdie. That 3 letter word suffixed to the writer's name has caused an uproar and triggered protests in many parts of the Muslim world. Born to Muslim parents in Mumbai, the controversy he stirred will always be remembered generations after he's gone. And now a knighthood to boot?

UK has honoured a novelist, who will always be remembered as The writer with a death sentence over his head. I guess it's UK's right to honour him, no matter how trivial his works were to me. Apart from The Satanic Verses, for which he was sentenced to death, and whose sentence can not be repealed as the guy who sentenced him in the first place, Ayatollah Khomeini, is dead, I am hard-pressed to name his other literary works. I have yet to read The Satanic Verses and I have no inclination to do so at all.

My perplexed mind is still trying to understand the justifications for his knighthood. Granted, I'm no literary expert but to be given a knighthood for "Services to Literature" would mean he had to do something really grand. Probably, something on par with what Sir Isaac Newton achieved. Not only do I feel that he falls short of a deserving knighthood, he is nowhere close. Islamic-sensitivities aside, I can't think of his supposed services that warrants a knighthood apart from his sacreligious book. If controversy is the name of his justification, then UK deserves all the backlash it is geting right now.

Then again, I am a little surprised at the reactions coming from all over the world. Yes, I agree that it is deplorable and untimely that UK has decided to award him the knighthood. However, the reactions to the award are equally uncalled for and does nothing to alleviate the problem. What I mean to say is that in the face of Islamic extremism, such reactions are only playing into the hands of extremists. It is a widely accepted fact that extremism is misguided but still Muslims around the world are prone to such knee-jerk reactions. I'm sure Salman is sitting somewhere in London, drinking his cup of tea and having hearty laugh at all the furore that surrounds his knighthood.

I say let Salman get his knigthood. So what if some buffoons think he is a deserving recipient of such awards? It only serves to dilute the prestige of such an award when someone as controversial as Salman gets that award. Furthermore, it's not like he could command more respect or he'll get richer. I couldn't care less about it not because I don't care that my Prophet is slandered but I think there are bigger issues for us to worry about than some so-called literary giant's knighthood.

To Sir Salman Rushdie, good luck dealing with all the hatred and anger and possible assasinations attempts.

LTA should designate a lane for As*****es

2007-06-06T08:56:00.000+08:00

I'm back...

Back to talking about my pet peeve. No, it's not about my in-laws. It's about those inconsiderate drivers. In the space of less than 24 hours I have had 4 different vehicles try to sideswipe me. OK, I'll admit it's not as bad on hindsight. Still, they are dangerous and not forgetting a menace. Who cares if you are running late? The prerogative is on you to make ure you aren't late. That still doesn't give you the approval of the other road users to drive like you own the roads.

First, there was this taxi - it almost always is a taxi, isn't it? - who, along Bedok Reservoir Road, just past the viaduct, swerved into my lane when I was centimetres behind him, to his right. And without signalling too. I didn't honk at him because I kind of expected he would do that judging from the way he drove just moments earlier. He was changing lanes and can't stick to his lane. I wondered where he learnt to drive. Then there was another taxi, again, yesterday night along Bukit Batok Road swerved into my lane immediately upon signalling while I was centimeters behind him, again to his right. This time I did honk at him, hard - for 5 long seconds. He just gave a sheepish look and waved to say sorry - I think.

This morning along the PIE a 15-foot lorry swerved into my lane along the PIE also in the same situation as the 2 taxis the night before. I did honk at him, but soon he disappeared, swerving in and out of lanes at high speeds. The moment I saw him speed off, I just eased my foot off the pedal and went alongs with the rest of the traffic. Damn that guy was a maniac. The last guy to cross my path was a pickup along Lavendar Street opposite of Singapore Casket. Nice place to drive dangerously. In front of me was a motorcyclist who was riding in a leisurely manner on the middle lane. This pickup swerved beside the motorcyclist, forcing the motorcyclist to move to the right lane. And again, this was centimeters in fromnt of me. So, I honked. Then I overtook the pickup on his right and looked at him. And he stared back at me, as if saying What? You got a problem???

I was so pissed. Sometimes, I wish I could mount a camera on my dash and record all these and then forward it to the TP or LTA for them to take action. It just pisses me off that such people are allowed to drive. One can draw parallels between the number of assholes we have on the road and the number of accidents involving them. So, if we could take these assholes, accidents would be so much of a rarity. And while we're at it, why not have tougher penalties for drink drivers, reckless drivers and assholes. A designated lane for them or a permanent mark on their vehicles which sets them apart, so the rest of us could avoid them when we see them.

Well, I know there are bound to be such people wherever we go, but singling them out clearly would make it safer for the rest of us. I mean they are already doing that for molesters and rapists by publishing their pictures in the mass media. A permanent tag would make it easier to identify them in public rather than to depend on picture posted on the papers.

I'd rather have bad lady drivers on the roads

2007-05-11T09:36:00.000+08:00

A friend messageed me the other day on my IM. Her husband and her was contemplating buy a car because it was becoming a necessity rather than a luxury. With 2 kids and her husband having to travel to the other end of the island, it seems like a necessary expense. Problem is her husband is yet to get a licence. As such, any car purchase was to be done when her husband has obtained a licence to drive.

Somewhere along the discussion, the topic shifted to one about bad lady drivers and the stigma that goes along with it. She was telling me how harrowing it can be sitting on the passenger side of a Hyundai Tuscon being driven by a lady driver who is bad with directions. Those who know me will attest to the fact that I don't normally have a high regard of lady drivers and this stems not so much from hearsay but from the 12 years I have been riding and driving. The thing is, no matter what anyone says, out of every 10 instances of bad driving I encounter, at least 4 could be attributed to bad lady drivers.

Yeah, I already hear the knives being sharpened by lady drivers with the devilish look on their eyes.

In spite of their bad driving and the occasional driving up the road against the flow of traffic, I'd much rather have the bad lady drivers than the inconsiderate male drivers. My dislike for taxi drivers is well-documented. However, that dislike actually extends to those inconsiderate drivers who like to tailgate, race on the roads and drink and drive. And they, mostly, are the males. I admit it. Being a male driver, I too, experience the sudden surge of testosterone whenever my ego is bruised by those who want to enforce their belief that they are better drivers than I am, by tailgating my car while I'm already hitting 100kmh.

Just yesterday, Christopher Lee, the actor, got jailed for drink driving. He's lucky in the sense that in his case no one got killed. Still, there are no excuses for such excesses. I mean you want to endanger your life by racing, go ahead, just don't do it on the roads where there are others using it as well. You want to feel the thrill of speeding, go ahead, just not on our roads where other road users can also be endangered by your rash acts. It's worse if people get killed. And people do get killed.

My anger does not end there. Recently, there was a report of this allegedly drunk guy crashing his car into a busstop at Penang Road. The best part was that he was sheepish about it when asked if he was speeding. Not only was he irresponsible, he was indignant about it too. To me, we have no place for such irresponsible behaviour in our society. It's one thing to be drink-driving, it's another to shrug it off. It's as if other people's lives aren't as important. Damn bloody selfish.

For the lady drivers, as bad as they can be behind the wheel, you are still responsible drivers - mostly.

Rubbing it rite

2007-05-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Oh, how true that stands for me now. It seems that there was some unhappiness with regards to my previous rant about my dealing with my wife's crankiness.

One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.
I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon.

It seems that I have been misunderstood big time. Here's the thing for those of you who think you know me but dun really do. I am perfectly happy dealing with my wife's crankiness. It's a happy problem, much akin to Sir Alex Ferguson having a fully fit squad when facing AC Milan - I'm not going there now. I have been waiting patiently for 3.5 years to hear, "Congratulations sir, your wife is pregnant" and I'm not about to get rattled by a pregnant woman's crankiness and mood swings, especially when that woman happens to be my wife. I wasn't complaining about her being cranky, and neither was I unhappy that I have more cravings to deal with in the next few months. In fact, I look forward to the next months with the same trepidation I am still having.

When I typed those words, it was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek sort of comment. Instead, I was faced with the wrath of a friend of mine who said,"Women who are pregnant don't know they are cranky". OK, point taken. My wife, while initially displeased with what was written, understood what I meant to say after I had told her what I meant. C'mon, you don't honestly think that I'd label a friend an idiot for cheekily encouraging my wife to take advantage of her pregnancy to get me to do things for her. It's in the same tongue-in-cheek verve that I wrote my previous blog. Let me make it clear once again. I love my wife and I am damn ecstatic that she is pregnant, even with the extra baggage and everything. Enough about it tho.

I just hope my kids don't turn out like some of the kids I see and hear tho. I have a lot of friends who are teachers as I'm sure many Singaporeans do. And many of these teachers are family people themselves, with their own brood. One of these teacher friend of mine was complaining to me about how uncouth some of the students are nowadays. Their lack of sensitivity towards others and their lack of respect towards their teachers are appalling.

I have always believed that we are how we are brought up to be, nurture plays a far more important role than nature. Nurture moulds the mind and psyche while nature defines what we look like and where our strengths would be. If the nurture is lacking, no amount of natural intuition will make up for that lack of proper nurturing. I was really taken aback after reading her blog with regards to what her student mocked her with through his instant messenger. While such immaturity and insensitivity was to be expected given his broken home and lack of fatherly figure, the lackadaisical and nonchalant attitude of his elder cousin towards my friend's protestations about him was even more deplorable, especially considering that she is a teacher herself. If a close family member who happens to be a teacher just wouldn't care, who else would?

I respect the teachers who have persevered through the years to mould our nation. I really do. The kind of things they have to endure, especially from the worst amongst us, is not something many of us have the stomach for. Which is why I am sorry to hear this sort of things happening to the teachers I know. My friend just went thru a torrid and heart-wrenching time and for her student to mock her was totally uncalled-for. And I could understand why she felt the way she did. If it were me, I might just have been pushed over the edge.

Thankfully, I'm not a teacher.

A Bush and a swim

2007-04-30T20:26:00.000+08:00

Been a while since I said anything with regards to current affairs. OK, I'm not the world expert on such things but I'm still entitled to my opinions once in a while. I think the current big news circulating is about how Bush has become embattled in his own country since the revelations that they screwed up big time over the allegations that the late Iraqi dictator , Saddam Hussein, was on his way to procuring weapons of mass destruction.

I have always felt strongly about Bush Jr. Somehow, I have the feeling that there are hidden agenda behind the so-called Liberation of Iraq. It's like there is unfinished business from Bush Sr's tenure in the hot seat. Even when faced with mounting pressure from his home fans, it seems like he is doing a Saddam now - defiance in the face of adversity.

Talking about adversity, the recent spate of drownings here have given cause to the calls for lifeguards to be stationed on our pristine beaches. Well, in all honesty, why bother? No, it's not because I'm a depraved and sadistic looney-bin who would rather see more people dead. Rather, it's a bit of an over-reaction to be calling for lifeguards to patrol that stretch. I mean, how many lifeguards are required to patrol the beaches? While I share the sadness and grief of those who lost, such calls border on idiocy. They can't possibly cover the whole stretch.

And what happens if a drowning occurs at one end of the beach while the lifeguards are on their rounds at the other end of the beach? Should we pin the blame on the ineffective lifeguards. East Coast Park is one long stretch of beach. Pity the guards patrolling that stretch. I just hope that if they do implement this, their uniforms would replicate those we saw on Baywatch. And I'm referring to the Pamela Anderson suits, not David Hasselhoff. I'd avoid ECP like a plague if I ever see or hear of any David Hasselhoff wannabes.

While it is sad and avoidable, such accident will continue to happen as long as there is that adventurous streak in us all. And while it is lamentable, it does not bear any merit to start an over-reaction like calling for lifeguards to be stationed permanently.

5 weeks since

2007-04-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

5 weeks on and I'm chugging along. Life's been pretty sedentary, as it's always been - which only serves to expand my waistline some more. Note to self; time to dust off the running shoes.

Who am I kidding??

I haven't been leading a healthy lifestyle. The last time I really exercised was during my NS. In the 7 years since I finished my NS, I have yet to touch a ball, and I mean football, you yellow-minded freak! Admittedly, there were the half-hearted attempts at starting jogging, but it stopped before it ever got going. Yeah, I know it's not healthy and every second I delay, the closer I get to death. That's the thing that bothers me. Every now and then we read about people dying while exercising or doing some sports and they are relatively fitter than I am. So, I figured that if people go through all that trouble to exercise to stay slim and keep fit, only to die young, I might as well stay fat all the rest of my life and enjoy my remaining time here.

Then it happened.

Yeap, my wife got pregnant. Congratulatory messages aside, I started to feel that added responsibility. A responsibility to live as long as could to watch my unborn child grow up. That got me thinking and realising that a change has to take place in my life - for the good of my family. OK, back to the congratulatory messages. No doubt I'm grateful to my friends who have made the effort to congratulate me. One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.

Honestly though, it's been a tough few weeks for both of us getting used to being parents-to-be. I mean, it's one thing loving to play with babies but it's a whole different thing to taking care of one. I, for one, while excited, am facing it with silent trepidation. It's like your first day in a new job. Insecurity is something that hangs over you like a dark cloud. You just can't seem to shake it off on that first day. Being married and enjoying 3.5 years without added responsibility, this happy event has begun to effect some expected changes on me.

I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon. A friend commented that I am more matured and more patient in my outlook of life than, perhaps, she expected me to be. Right now, I can't be bothered about maturity, I just hope her observation about my patience is not skewed. Otherwise, I'm in pretty deep shit.

3 months on

2007-03-21T13:36:00.001+08:00

Been 3 months since I last said something here. My longest hiatus yet. It's not that I have lost the verve to blog or post my views, it's just that too much has been going on around me and involving me that I have no idea what's important anymore.

Ok, that sounds far-fetched and quite improbable that so much revolves around me but it's true. To sum it all up, the 3 months was a cliched roller-coaster ride for me. I went from being somewhat-content to being down in the dumpster to being suddenly jolted into euphoric joy. Confused? Somewhere in those 3 months, so was I.

When I first started blogging, a lot of it was my anger and frustration at how my married life was panning out. And it showed. The blog was my way of letting her know how I felt and was a bridge of sorts in the breakdown of communications that happened back then. And boy, did I vent my frustrations. Those who did read it, will know exactly what I mean. Put it simply, I was close to the edge and the only thing that held me back was my love for her and my determination to work things out.

A year on, the whole situation played itself all over again. And that, too, after my parents left for their Haj. It was an understatement to say my mind was befuddled and everything around me was murky. Falling into the depths of despair, walking out was not just a feasible option, it seemed like a really good option then. For weeks, I was on the verge and constantly contemplating it. Thankfully, a friend stuck out the proverbial hand and helped me realise that I have lost track of I had been preaching all along. Love is a gift. You give all that you have without any expectation that your gifts will be reciprocated.

Let's just say I did work it out and things are looking every bit rosier. In fact, it's so rosy, there might be 3 of us before the year is out. Let's hope and pray it happens. (I think that was me releasing my pent-up frustrations)

It's funny how cliched life can get. As much as we think our life has hit the abyss and we feel like we are scraping the bottom of the barrel, it might not be as bad as we thought it was. For all you know the barrel might be overturned in a splitsecond and you are out of the rut. Yeap, the last 3 months were emotional to say the least, but I have realised that no matter how bad things may seem, there's always light at the end of the cliched tunnel.

Rain rain and more rain

2006-12-19T13:05:00.000+08:00

The overcast sky blocked out rays of sunlight; the earth sodden with tears from the sky and the winds were howling with dangerous intent. No, it's not a line from a novel, I don't think so anyway. That was the scene from yesterday night till this morning all over Singapore.

Yeap, it has been raining almost incessantly since last night with almost no dry ground in all of Singapore. It' s pretty normal around this time of year with the monsoon season in full swing. On the way to work this morning, the rain was especially heavy at Woodlands and Ang Mo Kio that no cars dared to breach 100kmh, though a Nissan Sunny did try to cut me off at Lentor Avenue. No, I'm not about to launch into another tirade on errant drivers.

The rains did cause some flash floods around the island and countless water ponding. Think I counted 10 on my route just now. They are particularly dangerous. The heavy rains already cut down visibility, and the pools of water are almost impossible to see. Running over one, even at 50kmh, would cause small cars to wobble, which I experienced first hand. Almost lost control of the car for while there. Thank god I took the advice of my friends and chnaged the stock tyres to something with a little more bite.

I'm pretty sure that the rain is gonna last the whole day and some flooding is to be expected. According to the Met Service, it's gonna be a wet few days to come. I think I should start saving up for a dinghy soon because there are reports that some parts of Malaysia are already under water and even some parts of Singapore though information is rather sketchy.

Let's see what happens next, shall we?

Putting a price on sporting glory

2006-12-18T11:31:00.000+08:00

The Asian Games are over. I honestly didn't follow the whole sporting event, except for the badminton singles final match between Taufik Hidayat and Lin Dan. That was a cracker.

Our athletes did well, in fact, it was their biggest ever showing at the Asiads. 8 gold medals. It sounds like a big achievement, but when compared to China's gold medal haul, it's a pittance. Then again, compared to China's geography and population sizes, we are just a speck of dust. That explains the gulf in sporting excellence. Our sailors came back with more than half the gold and congratulations are in order for them for a job well done. Now, setting their sights higher, they are gunning for Olympic medals. All the best to them.

While I do follow sports, especially football, I'm not much of a Games fanatic. Be it SEA Games, Asian Games or Olympics, I've never been one to follow closely, apart from headline skimming. I mean while I love football, I don't give a damn about hockey and while I enjoy badminton, I don't care what happens in volleyball. Quite honestly, I couldn't care less if Singapore came home top of the medal standings or dead last, I only want to know what happened in the marquee events, like the 100m sprint or the football finals.

There's just too much going on in and around the Games to make ignite the interest within me. I mean, medal standing does nothing other than to boost national pride. Looking at it from a layman, what's the use of spending millions of dollars on a few sportsman hoping that they'd bring back gold medals only to reward them some more. Think about it. They spend insane amounts of money to send these elite athletes to overseas tournaments and training stints and at the end of the day, pay them some more when they bring glory to the nation? It's insane isn't it?

The value of sporting achievement and excellence has been eroded to me. In the years of Fandi Ahmad, Ang Peng Siong and Junie Sng, I doubt that money was an issue. It was more of their passion for their sport of choice and the love for their country which drove them to excel. It was so simple back then, they had the talent, they had the drive and they had the passion. Nowadays, it's what-do-I-get-in-return-for-committing-my talent-to-the-nation mindset that rules. The payout that the athletes receive for bringing back gold medals could well feed many a family for a whole year.

While I can't deny that the athletes deserve some form of recognition for their services, time, sweat and toil, it's absurd to think that they deserve hundreds of thousands of dollars after the millions spent on their athletic development. I mean, I doubt Ang Peng Siong ever got $250,000 for winning Asian Games Gold or setting the fastest 50m freestyle time in the world in 1982. He would have gotten at least $175,000 for the Asian Gold had the SNOC implemented the award back in 1982. He might even had gotten $1 million if the 50m was included as an Olympic event in 1984. However, I doubt all that meant anything to him then.

Like I mentioned before, while I do agree with recognition being given where it's due, I'm not quite in agreement with putting a financial value to each achievement. Then again, words of thanks are never enough nowadays.

My apathy

2006-12-11T12:22:00.000+08:00

I remember somewhere in August when I posted something about the Malay community initiative to raise awareness through the Lebih Sexy, Katakan Tidak campaign. That was roughly around the time the campaign was launched. Fairly recently, a press release stated that the campaign has been labelled a success for the awareness it has created.

Personally, I think it's all just wayang. Granted that the campaign is targetted to the youths who are, in a way, uncorrupted as yet, to create that awareness that it ain't cool to be pregnant. Well, that would work if the social framework within which the youths live in. It's always the environment in which we are brought up in that moulds us into the person we are today, though there are the occasional exceptions. If the correct values are instilled into the youths from a young age, there wouldn't be a social problem now would there?

A friend highlighted to me about a blog which she read some time ago where the author, a Malay lady, disses another Malay lady blogger for her shamelessness in blogging about her drinking sessions. As most Malays are Muslims, it's fair to assume that she did commit a sin as drinking is strictly forbidden in Islam, as is pre-marital sex. However, when looking at the author's - the one doing the dissing - profile, I saw pictures of her frolicking with her husband and son, only clad in a bikini, which is also forbidden in Islam.

When highlighted of the fact, she was adamant that there's nothing wrong with wearing a bikini. Herein lies the irony. Here she was dissing someone else of shamelessness while failing to see that she was shameless in her own right. Now, I'm not about to start dissing anyone here, but there's the problem with our Malay community. We try so hard to see the failures of others but fail to see our own failures. While we look upon with disgust at the youths indulging themselves with such vices, we fail to see that we ourselves indulge in other vices. While there is nothing wrong in pointing out the failings of others, we have to be aware of our own shortcomings and mistakes and not just paper over them.

Quite honestly, I do have friends who indulge in such excesses. And I couldn't care less. I have friends who also posted about their wild lives, the parties they were at, the beaches they frolicked in and the drinks they have drunk. While I think it is wrong for them to indulge, I can't force my own beliefs on them. As friends, and as human beings, we are all subjected to the same emotions and moments of weakness, so why should we question what they do?

Apathy? Maybe.

Sometimes it's better to live with the apathy than to poke our noses to where it does not belong. So what if he/she decides to drink their sorrows away or even for the pleasure? So what if he is a womaniser and she is the village bicycle? In the end, it's between them and the Almighty. Like I said before, it's best if we live our lives as we see fit in the hope that we have lived a good life with little regrets and in the knowledge we lived as it has been ordained by Him.

Why bother about what others are doing wrong when we should worry about ourselves and that those closest to us, who share our beliefs, live their lives according to those shared beliefs?

Acceptance is a commodity

2006-12-08T10:49:00.000+08:00

I was reading the news about Kelantan's plans to introduce a state law banning skimpy clothings for all and the Federal Government's opposition to it fearing racial tensions may yet be reignited. Funny isn't it?

Around the world, we have this problem, failure to accept one another's differences. How else do you explain racial segregation, racial tensions, genocides and the Holocaust?

Thankfully, most of us around the world are educated enough to know that life itself transcends any physical, emotional or psychological barrier we may have inadvertantly placed. I've always believed that nurture takes precedence or nature. I mean, even if your parents were convicted criminals and habitual drug addicts, it doesn't mean you'd turn out the same way if you've had the privilege of being raised to be a good person. How we turn out are defined by the people around us and the impacts each has had in our lives.

I was one of those who grew up in a family who while religious, didn't quite really embrace the concept of Love Thy Neighbour. In fact, our family were quite selective in befriending our neighbours. While we were close to our Malay neighbours, we weren't close at all to our Chinese or Indian ones. As a matter of fact, I knew only 1 chinese neighbour in my old unit. Growing up, I used to hear my parents, aunts and uncles talk about anyone who is Malay as Melayu kita while the other races were thought of as a lesser race. Growing up, amongst my friends, it was the same, there were called bangsa dia, also with an equal measure of disdain.

The unknown has always evoked a fear within us. Looking around us we see people of different races, different religions, different beliefs to what we believe. In other words, those who share our belief, religion and race are considered as one of us. Because of that fear or perhaps, to a certain extent, refusal to accept, we cast those who are not one of us as outsiders. Think of it, how many amongst us have at one point felt a slight disdain whenever we see one of us marry outside our race, or at least thought to ourselves, aren't there enough Malay men left in the world that she had to marry an Ang Moh, or any other race for that matter?

In between our best efforts to forge a smile while extending our best wishes to the bride and groom and trying to feel happy for the bride and groom, we do at times feel that feeling of disdain whenever an interracial marriage takes place. I think it's pre-programmed in us that we question non-conformity. However, in this day an age where primary education is compulsory, it is thought that conformity to age-old values which no longer hold as much importance as it once did. Where mothers and fathers used to disown daughters for marrying outside their race, it is now very much acceptable though not really encouraged.

To accept someone into our lives takes a lot of trust, and probably, that distrust still lies deep in our Malay souls that stops us from embracing someone of a different race fully and unconditionally. Thankfully for us, Singaporeans, Malay Singaporeans specifically, our government has always encouraged multiracialism. However, deep within us the feeling of racial supremacy is always there, evident in the way we think of other races. We all think that our race is better, genetically, morally and socially. I mean, how many amongst us have close friends of another race? Not that many I suspect.

Does that equate to us being racist or at least, selective racists? I think not and I hope no one comes to that conclusion. You see, that's the thing I find funny. While we expound the concept of multiracialism and one society, we find it hard to accept differences amongst us.

My feeble attempt to understand love's logic

2006-12-04T12:13:00.000+08:00

I read a post one of my friends posted in his blog sometime back and it has stayed etched in my mind eversince. It was an honest man's thoughts on his family and his love for them. The one thing that kept replaying back in my mind ever since reading that post was the unconditionality of love.

That set me thinking. Is anything in life unconditional?

Very often, we see an agreement between 2 parties with certain conditions appended. When Japan accepted unconditional surrender in September 1945, it was with the proviso that the Emperor remains in his status quo. When Malaysia Accepted Singapore into its federation, it was with the proviso that neither involves themselves in the other's internal politics. However, love is not an agreement. It is a feeling. Therefore, it is not subjected to the same logic that defines everything else, which is why love is illogical. It makes us say and do things we would normally and rationally avoid.

A lot of times I have been asked, "How do you know she's the one?" The beauty of it is you don't. You just make a decision based on your gut feeling and a little common sense too. The rest you leave to God. The feeling of being in love is something you can't miss and something we all can't runaway from. It's there for all to see. I see it in my wife's eyes all the time. It's a feeling that is evoked when you are with that someone. You don't know if he or she is the one but you don't really care as it seems time has slowed to a crawl whenever you are with the person. We all want love. Yet at the same time, we fear love, with all the trepidation that comes with that fear.

It's not so much a phobia as it is a lack of understanding. As much as we want love, we fear all the emotions that accompany it and the knowledge that, at some point, we are bound to get hurt by that love. We want that loving feeling to be unconditional, ie, not expecting anything in return for what we have sacrificed for that person. Is that entirely possible? The notion of unconditionality is something we all want but not many are willing to give, unless the conditions are right. How's that work?

While looking for love, we want the other party to be able to accept us as we are, to be able to accept all our character flaws, yet, are we able to do the same and put our loved ones as a priority in our lives, ahead of evrything else life has to offer? From time to time, we read of heart warming stories of true love happening around us such as the email I received the other day regarding the Hoyts. Then again, that is the love of a father to his physically-disabled child. How about love between a guy and a girl, that's different, right? Not entirely, who could forget the close-to-home story of Pierre Png giving up one of his kidneys to his then-fiancee, Andrea D'Cruz?

True love? Perhaps.
Unconditional love? Definitely.

There are some couples who bicker at every little thing they perceive to be wrong. You are not doing enough for this relationship to work! What have you done for me lately? I'm doing all the work in making this relationship work! These are just some of the phrases that can be heard in the arguments of some couples. Each wanting to stamp his/her own authority and to make sure that they get as much as they give. Quite honestly, being in love is always about giving, there's no give-and-take here. Whatever you receive in return should be viewed as a bonus, a token of the other's appreciation for your love.

What, then, if you receive nothing in return? My answer would be to ask yourself if that is enough for you and if you love the other person enough not to ask for anything in return. If you really are in love, chances are it wouldn't matter! I'd like to think I've reached that pinnacle of my love story with my wife, though I know in love, you should always be looking to reach the peak without actually reaching it.

Make any sense? Like I said, it's my feeble attempt.

It's the kids!!!!!

2006-10-30T11:59:00.000+08:00

In my last post, I did say something about this Raya being exceptionally dull. and I couldn't find a reason for it. I think, I found the answer over the weekend. I think the key to having a great Raya is kids! No, it's not another post about me and kids, or lack thereof - that bothers me not!

Here's the thing. My aunt came over, the very same one whose son I asked about his coming of age, with her family and my parents, siblings and sis-in-law were there too on Sunday. From my house, we split up as my mom and dad had their own agenda, my sister, brother and sis-in-law following them, my uncle and aunt had theirs while me and my wife had ours. While they were there, the festive mood within me kicked in. It's not just that the family was there, it was the kids who livened up the mood with their antics. Ask any newbie parents and they'd say the same thing. Hari Raya before having kids and after are a lot different.

After we went our separate ways from my home, I went to the homes of 2 of my paternal aunts whom I had made appointments with prior to that. Thereafter we met up with the whole family again at my younger brother's house in Punggol. At my 4th aunt's place in Tampines, it was just me, my wife and my aunt having a chat while her husband was in the bathtub having just came home from work. No kids around - her eldest daughter, now a beautiful woman of 23, is studying in the US, her second son was in camp - doing his duty, while her youngest son was out with friends. The mood? Sombre.

At my 5th aunt's place, it was much better. All 4 of her kids were in, though 1 was sleeping - conserving his energy for his trip back to Pulau Tekong. There were some other extended family members around as well as she was having an open house. It was so much livelier there than at my 4th aunt's place with kids making a din with their laughter and constant screaming. It has to be the kids making all the noise rite? Cos if it were the adults, something must have gone wrong!

From my brother's place in Punggol, my wife and I drove back to my in-laws to bring her mom to visit my wife's side of the family. My BIL, SIL and MIL with 3 kids crammed into my tiny car and off we went. This time the festive mood was there throughout the time, in stark contrast to the trips my wife and I took on our own. In all 3 houses we went, the baby of the bunch, my youngest nephew, 2 years old and growing, was the biggest noise maker with his antics. Though terrified of me, due in large part to my inculcation of a climate of fear surrounding me, he still was lively.

I have always believed that someone in the family must be the bad guy to keep the children in check - it just had to be me this time. My youngest paternal aunt was the same with me. That aside, growing up, I've heard some parents say that Hari Raya is all about the kids, it's not so much for the parents to celebrate as it is for the kids. I mean the parents don't get the green packets, the kids do. What joy would there be in this world without the kids? I couldn't agree more.

Just don't ask me where mine are!

A dull Raya and the passage of time

2006-10-27T11:10:00.000+08:00

It's Hari Raya + 4.

It doesn't seem like Hari Raya anymore these days. Somehow I feel that the seri is no longer there. Why do I feel this way? Not too sure myself. Friends have been wishing me Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin left, right and center, but somehow, I feel that the spirit of Hari Raya is no longer there. Pardon my lack of enthusiasm but I am one of those pessismists who thinks that the spirit is fading away. Should I attribute it to my growing older, hence, the lack of enthusiasm, or issit the ever smaller number of houses to visit?

I do feel in some sort of limbo. Hari Raya used to be an excuse for the whole family to gather at my late grandma's house and seek forgiveness from one another, as is our tradition. However, since my grandma passed away, there is no longer a focal point for the family. My aunts and uncles, instead, congregate at their respective in-laws. Since both my maternal and paternal grandparents are no longer around, my family just stayed home for a while before visiting the granduncles and grandaunts. And that number is becoming smaller.

Where the first day of Aidilfitri used to be a hectic affair with frenetic scurrying all over the island to visit as many of the elders' houses as possible, it slowed down to a slow crawl nowadays. Where we used to visit more than 15 houses on the first day alone, it'd be an achievement if we could cover 6 now. It's not that there are no more relatives to visit, just that my father being the 2nd eldest amongst his siblings, the younger aunts and uncles would naturally seek him out on the first day, as such, he would be home more than be out and about.

How does that affect me?

Simple, since I have no longer have grandparents to visit, the logical place to go would be my parent's place followed by my immediate aunts and uncles. However, since they would be busy visiting my dad and other family members on their in-laws side, I have very little places to visit, since not many of them will be home. Before, I could just turn up at the doorstep of my late granduncles and grandaunts, I can't do the same now. It has become a yearly game of cat and mouse, catch-me-if-you-can style. Now, I even have to book their times and make appointments.

Now, I only have 2 grandaunts still around and they are the only ones I get to visit on the first day, apart from my parents and in-laws' places. To make matters worse, I have to worry about making appointments, especially since I am married and expected to know who my extended family members are and go to their houses on my own, with my wife, of course. No more following Mom and Dad now. Heck, I'm approaching 30, and if at that age I can't recognise my extended family and visit them on my own, something's wrong with me.

I was joking with a cousin of mine who is now 10 years old - big age gap, huh? I asked him when is he ever going to come of age and his voice will break into the baritone sound like his elder brother who is 13. His mom, my aunt, retorted with a smile on her face, "Eeeehhh, dun wan lah. He wun be as cute as he is now when that happens, I hope that day wun come for a long while!" I understand where she was coming from, with regards to her sone being the baby of the family.

Then it hit me! How I wished time had stopped or we could go back in time. I wouldn't have to worry about whose house to visit - that'd be my parents' job - and my aunt won't have to worry about her son coming of age and losing his adorableness and cuteness. Well, that's the passage of time for us all......

It's Hari Raya!!!!!!!!

2006-10-19T15:31:00.000+08:00

It's more than 3 weeks now since we began fasting in Ramadan. For the uninitiated, Ramadan is not a place but a month in the Islamic Calendar. A few more days and it’s AidilFitri. It is a big day for us Muslims, celebrating the arrival of Syawal - again a month not a person - and of our successful completion of fasting in Ramadan, one of the pillars of Islam - for those who fast, of course. Though the ones who do not fast are known to be shamelessly partaking in the festivities - all set with their traditional garb, songkok, piercings and tattoos not withstanding.

In all honesty, fasting is not such a difficult task to do. I personally feel that fasting is easier as compared to the 5 times daily prayers we Muslims are required to perform. This is because, fasting lasts the whole day and you are only required to stop eating and drinking for roughly 14 hours, from 5.30am to 7 pm or thereabouts. It's darn easy once you get used to it. If you can't take it, due to illness or back-breaking work or serving your NS, you are permitted to quit. It's not something that you have to force yourself to the detriment of your health; of course you have to redo it at a later time. Of course, if a lady is having her period, she is exempt, but that is the only exception, other than being crazy or dead.

Prayers, on the other hand are a must and no one has an excuse to skip even one, even if you are sick. There are of course contingencies and ways to pray to adapt to the predicament one is faced with. The only times a Muslim is excused is when either he is mentally-disabled or he is dead. Add to that the requirement of praying at certain times, it makes it a bit more complicated to stick to schedule, knowing you have to work, still it is no excuse. It makes it more perplexing that people would willfully skip a day or even the whole month, since it's not that hard to fast.

Years ago, OK, decades ago, while still in my childhood, the sight or knowledge of anyone who'd knowingly ponteng or skip a day of fasting would be greeted with unabashed teasing and continuous ribbing at his/her failure to complete a day. As we grow older, the youths would tease their friends who'd complete the day by questioning the need to fast. They'd even question the need to pray and the need to believe in God. Strangely enough, most of those who do such questioning are born-Muslims, some has had some form of reigious instruction at an early age.

No doubt about it, where religion stands, there will be those who questions its veracity. I find it appalling that those Muslims who willfully neither fast nor pray actually have the cheek to celebrate a day for which they have no accomplishment of note to celebrate. While Islam maintains a policy of mutual inclusion with other religions, where we celebrate AidilFitri by inviting non-Muslims to join in the festivities, I personally think that it is a good idea to be forcibly exclusive towards those who declare themselves to be Muslims but neither practice nor learn the religion. At least, until such a time they realise their follies.

My religious teacher said once, there are those who declare themselves to be Muslims only on several occasions in their lives - namely, the 2 Hari Rayas, AidilFitri and AidilAdha, their wedding and their death. Honestly, I do not despise them, but feel sorry for them, for they'd only be Muslims in name not in spirit. Still, I honestly say to all Muslims around the world, Selamat Hari Raya, ku pohon maaf zahir & batin.

Now, where did I put my new clothes........

Knowledge fuels understanding.

2006-10-13T11:20:00.000+08:00

I had a fun discussion with my colleagues the other day regarding this whole religious issue between Muslims, Christians and Jews and the history in the Middle East. With such a chequered past, it proved to be interesting to say the least.

It does surprise me that my colleagues are almost clueless as to what started the whole Arab-Israeli conflicts of yesteryears and the current furore over what has been termed as Islamophobia coming from western media and governments. Well, I explained to them what exactly happened in the inter-war years in Palestine and how Israel came to exist as neutral as I could be. In all honesty, they were quite surprised at the history of it all, and I found it funny that people can choose to be ignorant at what's happening around the world.

Who could blame them? We have to realise that we now live in a world where the sum of the collective may not be as important as the self. Many of us have been brought up looking to the west and adopting many of their way of lives, right down to the way we talk and dress. The amount of available information nowadays allows us to do so. Never has the world been so connected. Back in the 70's you'd have to wait a few days before anything was published about, say, the World Cup Finals or the FA Cup Finals. Now, we plonk ourselves in front of the telly or the PC and all we need to know is there.

Where we once used to have the wellbeing of others at the back of our mind, is now replaced with a sense of self serving of utmost importance. These days we don't care much about what others say but we worry about our own lives so much that we have little time to take in what's going on around us and the world. It's amazing to me that while we have wars, famine and brutality going on all around us, we can choose to live in relative oblivion, happy in the knowledge that we have money in the bank and food in our tummy.

In spite of my amzement, I took the time to educate my colleagues at what's going on, not out of my own self-serving feeling of importance or all-knowing, but out of concern that we, as humans, could turn a blind eye to the very happenings which will shape the future for us and our children. I do agree that the gloom taking place elsewhere does seem so far away and detached from us that we have nothing to worry, or do we?

Who's to say what's happening thousands of miles away will not escalate and affect us in future? Remember 1941? The British assured us that we have so much protection here the Japanese will not dare attack us, let alone attempt to conquer us. No prizes for guessing what happened. My point is if we allow ourselves to be wilfully ignorant of the things that are happening around us, there may be a time when such things may come back to hanut us.

In this age where religious fanaticism threatens our peaceful way of life, ignorance is not bliss, it's simply unforgivable, especially when racial harmony and religious tolerance are something we are working towards. Without knowledge, there can be no understanding.

The haze and good neighbourly relations

2006-10-10T09:52:00.000+08:00

For the last few weeks, everyone has been talking about the haze. It all got to a head on Saturday with the PSI reaching 140 - unhealthy levels. That announcement by the weatherman got the asthmatics scrambling for their ventolin inhalers and the paranoid sprinting for the nearest pharmacist to get face masks.

Only this time it wasn't as bad as previous years. I remember back in school, circa 1996-1997, where the haze was kind of a welcome reprive for those who loathe PE lessons back then. For me though, the only thing I remember was the dread I felt whenever a PE lesson had to be cancelled as that would have meant that a football game would not be played. There went the kickabout.

The haze, did, however cause a lot of plans for outdoor activities to be cancelled, owing to the overly-cautious nature of Singaporeans, excarbated by the weak immune systems of some. As most putdoor activities were shunned, thousands flocked to the shopping malls to escape the haze. A sizeable portion made a trip to VivoCity, the latest kid on the block. It's quite often the case, we all flock to see the latest attractions, not wanting to miss out on the action. Oh, back to the haze, one thing I do not understand, this is not a recent problem, in fact, it has been around for the last decade.

However, despite several ministerial summits and meetings, the problem keeps coming back. the reasons the Indonesians are giving is that the area affected is so big that they do not have enough resources to cope. I say it's all about good neighbourly practice. Keeping your house in order is basically a prerequisite of being a good neighbour, so is maintaining respect, which is what Singapore and Malaysia are doing by not interfering and extending a helping hand when needed.

That brings me to another thing on my mind. My MIL had a new neighbor move in fairly recently, less than 5 months back. As it so happens, the neighbor is quite a prominent arts and musical performer in the local Malay scene. My MIL had been living in the same flat for the last 20 odd years, and had always had excellent relationships with her immediate neighbours. I mean living on the ground floor and sharing the same walkway and "lawn" in front of their flats, they had to. For the longest time, my MIL being an kampung lady through and through had been cultivating a small garden on that "lawn".

Everyone else along that stretch has been doing likewise and without issue too. In fact, being law-abiding citizens, they had asked the town council if it was OK to do so, and the answer was OK as long as other residents did not complain. For 20 years, it was peaceful as fruits such as papaya trees were planted and cultivated, so to were the chilli plants, pandan plants and lime plants. Then it had to happen. A complaint came and the plants were all brutally chopped down without warning to the residents. Normally, the residents would be informed to chop down the plants themselves, there was no such leeway this time, indicating the severity and ferocity of the complaint.

My MIL and the other neighbours knew who lodged the complaint but chose to keep quiet and not have any repercussions dished out. Even my wife knew, that it was the wife of the new neighbour as having shared a train ride to work with her, it was fairly established that she was the ever-complaining type of person. What I will say is that having moved in only recently, the new neighbour should have excercised a bit more restraint and shown respect to her elderly neighbours. Being a good neighbour is not just about saying the occasional hello. It goes beyond that. Showing respect is a basic human tenet that we all should have. Sadly not all of us excercise it.

One thing's for sure, had it been my neighbour who did that, they's have gotten an earful from me and a shunned existence in my eyes.

Regrettable

2006-10-01T14:28:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I said something about current affairs. The last time I said something, was about Israel's attack on Lebanon. Damn, that made my blood boil.

Last month, the Pope said something most Muslims thought would never come out from a man of his stature. He had quoted the Byzantine Emperor, Manuel II, who was known for his hatred of Muslims. Being a former professor of theology, he should have known better than to tread on religious sensitivities by quoting, "Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached".

Personally, I feel this is worse than the cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) printed in the European press. Unsurprisingly, the backlash was even worse this time round. Not only effigies of the pope was razed, there were even calls for his head coming from Somalia. Now that's a little absurd isn't it? After all, the Pope was only delivering a lecture. Having done so in his native German, it is highly plausible that such a quote was taken out of context as has been done and witnessed countless times before. Prior to his quoting that line, he was talking about the unacceptable practice of forced conversions and that conversions should only be done through reason and reason alone. He goes on after that quote by saying further that the Emperor Manuel II describes in detail why the spreading of religion through violence is unacceptable and goes against the nature of God.

No, I'm not defending the Pope for his actions or intended meaning. I condemn what he said as for thousands of years, there are deinitely better alternatives to quote examples from. I have read through many commentaries on this subject and the acid-laced words that has been used to describe this unfortunate event, yet I can see the polarity of it all. On one hand you have the western government and religious organizations defending the lecture while on the other hand, you have the Muslims defending their religion's honor and condemning the Pope. I too felt the same way, angered by the quote. However, upon reading the transcript, I felt that it was taken out of the context of the lecture. I still feel that he shouldn't have used that as an example, but he did have a point, even if he failed to understand the reasons behind the so-called "forced conversions".

Funny isn't it that the Pope had to use that example in his lecture when his lecture could be better served by recounting how the Crusaders massacred the inhabitants of Jerusalem when they conquered the city in 1088, or the genocides in the Balkan Peninsula, ethnic cleansing anyone? It's a bit shortsighted on the part of the Pope for him to quote something sensitive such as that. Having called for religious dialogue and tolerance, it would have been better served had he taken the time to understand Islam himself before launching himself into muddied waters with such a diatribe again.

Another thing that strikes me is how jumpy the world had become. This is not the only case of something ascribed to someone being taken out of context. Tun Mahathir had that when he claimed Jews ruled the world by proxy and the whole western world felt violated and demanded an apology. Well, the roles are reversed now and here we are, Muslims, described as a religion of peace and tolerance, calling for the head of the Pope.

We all need to take a step back and contemplate before acting. Sadly, that is the one thing we find hardest to do.

Between safety and paranoia

2006-09-25T12:43:00.000+08:00

Oh wow!! Been a month since I checked in here. Nah.....I've not lost any of the zest I started out with. It's just that time is a premium which I can't seem to have enough rite now. Yes, I know that this little page I have here has fallen into the depths of negligence. Lemme see now, what has changed....

Nothing much actually, I'm still alive and kicking and ranting, for that matter.

Went through my reservist without a hitch, though, the 8 hours shift of doing nothing was mind-numbing to say the least. Imagine doing nothing but staying vigilant for 8 hours at a stretch. What could we do, vigilance is the name of the game nowadays, thanks Osama for making our lives so much easier! My guess is that my unit was not scheduled for a callup so early, but it was done due to the IMF and World Bank conference which was held in Singapore. I think we are the reserve security force covering the reserve unit which was already in place.

Dumb? Absolutely. Waste of resources? Definitely. Enough? Probably never.

In spite of that, the show of force, although my unit was nowhere near the action, was a strong enough deterrence factor for any would-be mischief-makers or terrorist. Imagine having to walk through a gauntlet of security personnel, armed to the teeth with automatic weapons and the latest gadgetry in security. Imagine having multitudes of cameras trained in on you if you behave suspiciously. I guess it's a Singaporean trait, it's never enough, better be safe than sorry. Seriously, only a country like Singapore would go to such lengths as to ensure that what's been ensured is ensured. Then again, in such an age where a climate of fear is ever present and with lingering doubts on safety and security, it seems being prepared and vigilant is never enough.

On a personal level, I've always maintained the belief that your life has been written for you, just not revealed yet. Yeah, it's the belief of all Muslims. I still recall the conversations I had with my mum more than a decade ago with regards to my decision to get a motorcycle license. The words 'dangerous', 'accidents' and 'injuries' kept coming up, seriously, which mother would want to see her child get injured? My usual riposte, if it's your time, you can't delay it by even a second. If you are meant to die of a freak accident, you can't stop that, you could die from falling in the bathroom, does that mean you stop going to the bathroom?

I chose to believe that while there is nothing wrong with being prepared, vigilant and in taking precautions, there is certainly something wrong when the need for security takes over our rationality resulting in paranoia. Similarly, while it's good to have the occasional reminders for us to be vigilant, too much will probably serve to create an unnecessary climate of fear. This might, in turn, cause us to be so used to such reminders that we, from time to time, let our guard down, thinking it's just another ad or reminder to the millions of reminders we get daily.

I, for one, would live my life as I have always. Having dignitatires from all over the world come here for a conference lasting for a few days, while having immeasurable economic benefits, does have its downsides, in that we, while having been acknowledged as being friendly and eager to please, are also being seen as a paranoid nation with a lot of loosening up to do.

Winds of change

2006-08-25T10:55:00.000+08:00

I was thinking just now about the last few days and my exceitement over my "new" phone. Did a few things I never thought I'd do, like trust a guy in China enough to hand over 80 bucks for a memory stick with no guarantee it'd come. Yesterday, I went a step further. I flashed my K750i, risking everything in the process. I mean you know how anal manufacturers can be with regards to their products.

Now, I have a K750i Walkman phone, combining the best of K750i and W800i, which pretty much shares the same hardware, shell excluded. Add my 2GB memory stick and stereo headset, which I bought in Malaysia for Rm38 and I'm all set for my in-camp activities. This ain't my first in-camp, so, I'm more than aware of what my job will be like during these 2 weeks - catching up on lots of zzzz. A little music will make the time pass easier.

Some time ago, I wouldn't dare to do any business over the net, especially those of the auction type where you deal with people you don't know, free-lancers mostly. I mean, there's been a lot of stories circulating about unscrupulous and shady characters hawking their wares on the net, demanding upfront payment and then disappearing when the payment is made without delivering on the promised goods. I mean, those spooked me. Trust is not something most people treat lightly, it has to be earned. God knows what they did to get my trust, or perhaps, should I say what made me believe them?

Oh well, we all change. Although the memory stick was more of a gift from my wife, it was still my decision to get it from that guy in China. I did spend about $15 to get my phone flashed like I mentioned. It was by far the riskiest thing I had attempted. Having splurged on the the phone a year ago, that would seem rather callous of me. Still I went ahead, hoping that it would work out fine. In spite of my reservations, it worked fine, after paying close to $20 for that upgrade. I felt like it was worth it, having a W800i firmware on my K750i.

Well, I'm all set for my reservist. Back soon.

My first online transaction and more to come...

2006-08-24T10:38:00.000+08:00

A week ago, I posted about my birthday and how uneventful it was. My wife was quite intent on getting me a present but could think of anything. So, I thought hard about it and decided that the only practical thing I'd use would be a a bigger memory card for my K750i. It only came with an external 64MB memory. I figured that since the K800i was a tad too expensive, I'd just downgrade my desires....

Off I went hunting on the net for a cheap 2GB Memory Stick Pro Duo. I got a good deal for S$83.90 but the catch is the card will be shipped from China. I had to pay the guy first and wait a week before I get the card. Sounds like a big gamble rite? Not exactly, considering that the same card is retailing for roughly S$160 here. Honestly, I was fearful of the fact that I could be duped and I'm still wondering what made me take that leap of faith. Anyway, I got the card after a few days, came by registered mail, and am now happily fiddling with my phone and dumping so many song, most of which I'd not listen to much anyway. So, if u see a big guy walking around with a big, smug smile on his face, it could just be me.

I did come across something which only serves to further whet my appetite for all things techy and geeky. The first is a handsfree with remote music player compatible with the K750i. Now, I am aware than Sony has the HPM-82 coming soon to our shores, which is compatible with several other phones, but I am not sure when that will be coming in. I did find an alternative, the IDNA MRH-200, available online for UDS45.00. You could plug in any earpiece or headphones and still use the remote to control the music playback and answer calls. It is cool though the k800i paired with the bluetooth stereo handsfree, HBP-DS970 would look so much cooler.

The other one that whet my appetite was the possibility of flashing the firmware of my K750i to a W800i firmware, which would not only make my K750i work just like a W800i, sadly enough, it would also void my warranty. Still, it'd look awesome, imagine a K750i with a Walkman logo on the screen. Why am I doing all these? Simply because my reservist is coming up and my unit will probably be tasked to guard Jurong Island again, so this will come in handy to break the monotony.

Yeah, I could live with a K750i for 2 years more I guess. Whether or not it happens remains to be seen.

The wedding and an uneasy peace

2006-08-22T13:35:00.000+08:00

It's official, she's married, off the market. Malaysia's most eligible bachelorette is now hitched. That's not the big news though, for me the bigger news was the number of people I know taking the day off just to catch the "LIVE" telecast of the wedding ceremony at 9am. And to think there is a repeat of that at 7.30pm. Even our national football team don't get as much coverage - we got all 0f 30seconds worth of excerpts on Football Crazy, for those lucky enough to have subscribed to SCV. So much for World Cup 2010....

OK back to the wedding of the year....

Granted that she is the media darling of Malaysian entertainment, probably of the Malay-speaking world, the wedding and the media circus surrounding it is extraordinary. I don't think even the wedding of Charles and Diana had the privilege of a repeat telecast back then. Well, she did look divine in her wedding garb, as she always does. Well, I guess that's the price you pay for being famous - a sacred ceremony becomes a spectacle in itself. No private ceremonies involving only relatives for her. I was reading the papers the other day and it stated that the alleged cost of the whole wedding was close to $6million. I'm sure some of it are sponsored. Nevertheless, it's an obscene amount isn't it? Especially when you consider that, probably, 75% of her fans can't begin to understand that figure, let alone imagine.

Oh well, they could afford it. Still, I can't help but wonder at the haste of the whole affair, I mean the ink on the Datuk's divorce papers has hardly dried and the division of matrimonial assets between the Datuk and the ex-wife was still pending when the announement was made. Little wonder then, that a lot of tongues were wagging and palms gleefully rubbing at the prospect of sleazy stories coming out. I think I better shut up about this already, else I'll be one of those people spreading rumours. In any case, my wife's been sniggering and teasing me to no end that my self-proclaimed girlfriend is now hitched to a Datuk. What was that I said about Siti being the object of desire and fantasies of many a hot-blooded malay male? I just hope their marriage lasts, unlike the other "Wedding of the year", if you know what I mean....

OK, back to the real world...

The ceasefire in Lebanon has been in effect for roughly 2 weeks now. I still can't believe how long it took for them to get their act together. Lebanon is not exactly resource rich as are Kuwait, Saudi Arabia or Iraq, for that matter, so it was in no one's strategic interest to intervene, least of all, the US. I can't help but draw parallels between the crisis in Lebanon and the Rwandan Genocide a decade ago. In both crisis, world nations powerful enough to do something dragged their feet in putting an intervention force or peacekeeping force. The end result? A racial genocide in Rwanda claiming roughly 1 million lives and millions more became refugees. Though, the situation in Lebanon is not as acute, it still says a lot of the ulterior motives of the powerful nations. Heck, even Japan practice selective diplomacy with the Iranian nuclear standoff, simply because, it can't survive without Iranian oil. Why else are they adamant against any economic sanctions placed on Iran?

Oh, lest I forget, Italy has offered to lead the UN peacekeeping mission in Lebanon with a contribution of 2000 troops. I do remember sometime back that there was a call for a Muslim peacekeeping force in Lebanon, however, no Muslim leader has stepped up to the plate and offered to take the lead. It's a good thing, from my perspective that the US is not leading this. Being a staunch supporter of Israel, it could not afford to be involved in such events, perhaps, worried at its waning credibility.

What credibility???? Exactly!

Suspicions over rationality

2006-08-18T11:17:00.000+08:00

I pity celebrities, I really do. Most celebrities are endowed with talents which most of s could only ever dream about, be it, sports or entertainment. They go out there with the hope that whatever God-given talent they have can be used to entertain people, put a smile on the faces of the masses and generate a feel-good feeling.

Most of the people who live in this part of the world would know who Siti Nurhaliza is. Posessing a truly wonderful voice with powerful lungs to boot, and not forgetting that sweet, innocent look and wholseome appeal, she is truly the dream wife or girlfriend of most young men and the ideal daughter-in-law for many a Malay auntie. Oh, and lest I forget, she gives a pretty good recital of the Quran too. Now, if that's not an image of perfection, I don't know what is. I'd be lying through my teeth if I was ever to say that she is not attractive and I do not like her. Heck, I'd marry her if I could. When news broke out of her alleged romance with a businessman who holds the title of Datuk, a form of chivalrous rank in Malaysia, it started a media frenzy. I mean at least half the Malay-speaking world was intrigued.

Soon, the identity of the man became a hot topic in the tabloids of Malaysia. When the identity of the man was, finally, divulged, it was accepted with much shock. The man is 20 years her senior, with 4 kids, the eldest of which is a young man of 19. I pity the boy, the woman of every Malay man's desire and fantasy is going to be his stepmum. Now, I have got nothing against it. It's her choice, her life, let her live it the way she sees fit. In fact, while I feel she could have done better than getting hitched with a 47-year old moustachioed man who looks like a cross between George Lam, Tom Selleck aka Magnum PI and a smirking cat, I could only wish her all the best as she embarks on the next phase in her life. Still, I could just imagine the smug datuk singing in the shower, I'm snogging Siti tonight to the tune of Are you lonesome tonight? thinking, eat your heart out, you other men, she's mine, muahahahahahha , with an evil laughter which Dr Evil would be proud of.

The worst thing to come out of this is the allegations that Siti is a husband snatcher and a home-wrecker. It's typical of the Malays and our general reaction to things around us. Our suspicions and distrust towards each other precedes our rationality. How else would that explain the countless allegations against Siti? I am not defending Siti nor am I against her, like I said, it's her choice. However, I take it as a slight at our own morals when we question others to which we have no right to question. We Malays, have this weakness that when we see a person successful, we immediately think that it is gained through immoral means. It is difficult to progress when suspisions are at the forefront of our dealings.

Heck, recently, I read up a blog and it was posted that Siti was rather open about her past relationship with another celebrity and was all touchy feely with him on numerous occasions. Her squeaky clean image is just that - an image, a facade behind which she hides. Well, it's not allegations posted by that blogger, she was just posting an email which she has received making those allegations. Could we stoop any lower than that? Even the common people are not spared. Recently, there were allegations that a Malay family selling Nasi Lemak at Changi Village practised black magic in order to make a bigger profit. And that allegations were made by someone who knows this story from someone who was told by someone that areligious teacher saw it firsthand. Let's not forget the many people discrediting others of their fame, wealth and happiness.

What I mean to say is that we all, not just the Malays, have to be more respectful of one another in our lives and daily dealinsg with one another. Bad mouthing, throwing false allegations and trying discredit one another is all a lack of respect we show. Let the people around us live their lives without having us judging them, having negative thoughts of them and worse, spreading those negative thoughts.

Lastly, as hard as it would be for me to say it,

Selamat Pengantin Baru Siti.

Yeap, twas my birthday

2006-08-16T17:53:00.000+08:00

Yeap, yesterday was it. The day children look forward to, women dread and men just want it over and done with. The day my life began, all 29 years ago. Well, lemme see, Natasha Henstridge of Species fame shares the same date, so does Ben Affleck - not that I care - and Japan surrendered, ending World War 2. Oh, and Elvis died within hours of my birth.

I was working on my birthday though, I hadn't planned for anything special to mark the day, neither had my wife. Just a simple dinner at Secret Recipe at IMM, after which we went marketing for some necessities. Not the ideal birthday to some, but it does it for me. For the past few years, especially since starting work and getting married, birthdays doesn't seem that important to me anymore. I mean, besides being the day we were born, there's nothing else to suggest that it is a special day. I mean, the sun was still shining, birds still chirping and I still had a job to do.

I had always wondered what's there to celebrate in the first place. Is it to celebrate the past or to celebrate the future? Should I be joyous over the past 29 years or joyous for the years to come? I thought to myself, have I done anything in the past year to be joyous about? Is there anything that I am anticipating that would make my life a whole lot better? On all accounts, I'd have to say a conservative no. Besides getting my car, going on 4 trips up north and patching up after the big fight, nothing really happened that would have been a major cause of celebration. I lived my life, did what I should, and that was it.

We all have our own way to mark our special day, the day we saw the light. Some go on a cruise or holidays, some pamper themselves with fine dining, others have a wild night out and hope to wake up without regrets, others offer prayers and some just treat it like any normal day. I prefer the last option, it's a lot less complicated. On days such as theses, the adage, "It's the thought that counts", seems to ring so much truer. My best bud sent me an SMS, a rather long one at that, wishing me all the happiness, and that meant a lot to me. It doesn't matter how many people remember your birthday, but who does, matters a lot. Thanks bro.

Personally, I don't dread my birthday, neither do I loathe it. It serves as a reminder for me that time doesn't wait for me and that, in spite of what has happened, life goes on. I haven't had a birthday party in 2 decades, no birthday cakes since I was 10 or 11 and , though I do get the small gifts from my family every year, there hasn't been a celebration of my birthday in years. Just the birthday wishes from my mom on the morning of my birthday, every year, without fail. Mom called me at 6am to wish me a happy birthday and asked what I wanted for lunch. She'd normally whip up a succulent meal on special days, I just said, it's ok, just cook as you would on any other days. I think I've lost the zeal to celebrate my own birthday.

Mom and Dad asked me what I wanted for my birthday. For once, I was stumped, I hadn't thought about it and had no idea what I would like. In previous years, I would have plumped for an MP3 player or a new HD LCD TV, this time, I just said "nothing". Yeah, I know was hell-bent on upgrading the sound system in my car and was pretty upset at how things panned out then, I've grown to realise that there is much more to life than material posessions - I knew that, I just lost track of it. Every now and then, we all need that kick up the butt or that slap in the face just to remind us of how good we have it.

I guess 15th of August was my time.

Come, join my queue!

2006-08-10T11:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, we celebrated our nation's 41st birthday and many Singaporeans were in or around the National Stadium, which, by the way, will be torn down after the National Day Parade, for the fireworks spectacle of the Parade. For many families, it's been a ritual of sorts, having a picnic along Kallang river and wait for the fireworks display.

The National Day Parade in itself is a mega-event watched by most Singaporeans, not just for the pomp and pageantry but also for the spectacular displays which has never failed to take the spectators breath away. From the sky-divers to the pilots to the Guard of Honour contingent to the show itself, every single display is greeted by a chorus of cheers and thunderous applause. Personally, I have never been to the NDP. Though, when I was still serving my NS, my camp was one of the centres for ticket distribution for the NDP tickets. I remember the snaking queues, the pitched tents and the picnic-like atmosphere. Only thing that was missing was live entertainment and BBQ pits and they'd have a party.

One thing that did not escape my mind was the fact that I was on duty that day. My brief was simple, stay in the air-conditioned comfort of the medical center and see to any medical emergencies that might take place within the queue. I thought that was typical of the army to have extra medics on standby for any emergencies for a bunch of people sitting around, doing nothing while waiting for the tickets to be distributed. There were 2 medics on standby that weekend as opposed to the standard 1. Despite the queue being quite orderly and no incidents took place within the queue, seeing that the people were quite orderly and water being available in the form of watercoolers, there was still one casualty. Funny thing is, he wasn't even queueing. He skidded his motorbike outside the camp while sending food to his family. Till now, I still wonder what happened to the food.

One good thing that has taken place since is the introduction of balloting for the NDP tickets instead of having people form up queues 3-4 days in advanced for them. That saves a lot of time and resources not just on the would-be spectators, but also the organisers and the Army boys who'd have to set up the queueing area and man them on the day itself. Even if the wonders of technology has stopped Singaporeans from engaging in one of our national pastimes, apart from food and shopping, it is one pastime I'm glad we'd no longer have. I mean, there are still a lot more we could queue for. I mean there's the queue at the hawker centers during lunch time, there's the queues at the post offices at the end of the month and, of course, the long queues at Singapore Pools for 4D and Toto.

Some people, admittedly, queue up just the sake of queueing without knowing what the queue is for. While some people would say that if something is good, it's worth queueing for, these people seem to equate it as if it's something worth queueing for, it must be something good. The next time you end up in a long snaking queue, try asking the person in front of you what they are queueing for, chances are they might not know because they are following the herd, kinda like the zebras and wildebeest on Animal Planet.

PS: On a different note, I'm still waiting for the UN Resolution on the Israeli-Lebanon conflict to be passed. Seems like they are still squabbling over the terms to be used. Oh, and tomoorow going to watch the fireworks again. you know?

Martyrs, rejection and getting the words right...

2006-08-07T11:04:00.000+08:00

Did you guys catch the news over the weekend?? Damn, it was entertaining. Ok, in the nutshell, the Muslim world is up in arms, well, at least just the extremists, Israel got snubbed and the UN are still squabbling over some words to stop the violence in Lebanon. Yeap, it's an interesting world we live in.

To kick off today, I was watching the news on Channel News Asia (CNA) and CNN, yes, I subscribe myself to the epitomy of American journalism, over the weekend and they reported that somewhere in Kalimantan, Indonesia there are militants getting ready to go to the Middle East by becoming martyrs. There was footage of some 50 men, some boys maybe, all decked out in black, complete with the customary balaclava, lining up in formation with the commanders in front. I have been in the Army, as has most Singaporean men, and this is no army. In fact, they looked like extras of a bad Jean Claude van Damme movie.

I don't get it, firstly, why the balaclava?? If it's some important mission ordained by God, why the need to mask yourselves?? Our Prophet (PBUH) went on countless missions carrying the word of God and I don't think balaclavas were invented yet then. C'mon, be real, if it's the truth you are fighting for, why hide behind a mask? Secondly, the men lining up didn't seem to have the conviction. The half-hearted commands and execution of said commands were amatuerish at best and these are the same men going to the Middle East to wage a Jihad against the Israeli war machine? Such a waste of time, effort and life. Lastly, they were supposed to be trained in matial arts but couldn't throw a punch properly. If these men think they want to die a martyr, they are wasting their lives; it's no longer just an Islamic fight, which guarantees martydom, it's a fight for humanity against Israel.

I'm not against such a show of force, but at the very least make it believable and don't make the Muslims look like a bunch of mindless idiots running around Israel with bombs attached to their torsos. Suicide bombings just don't cut it anymore, what was once seen as the pitiful Palestinian fight against the Israeli occupation, now is branded terrorism by westen media. Where's Ghandi when you need him? Gone are the days when one man could bring down an Empire. These days, you don't just get shot in the head, the rain bombs and missiles on a whole city to kill just one man.

Ok, on to more exciting news. Malaysia's in the news, for the right reason in my point of view this time. Something to take note of, of the four countries in South East Asia with a sizeable Muslim population, Malaysia, Indonesia, Brunei and Singapore, only Singapore has diplomatic relations with Israel. This is beacuse Singapore shares much in common with Israel being a country whose majority is a minority in the region. Israel is a Jewish State in the Arabic/Muslim hinterland, as is Singapore a predominantly Chinese nation in a perdominantly Malay neighbourhood. The major difference is that Singapore engage in multiculturalism and ethnic integration while Israel practices segregation and selective annihilation.

In light of the reason attacks, been a month already, Malaysia and Indonesia has been vocal critics of the Zionist State, very vocal. In fact, the Israeli ambassador to Singapore suggested a dialogue to ease the simmering tension and deep-rooted hatred to Israel. Guess what the embattled Malaysian Prime Minister, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi had to say to that? Roughly he said, Malaysia has no diplomatic ties with the State of Israel and does not recognise Israel, as such, such dialogues is an issue not for consideration in the first place. That was by far the best response yet. There is also a call by Pak Lah, as he is affectionately known in Malaysia, for a Muslim Peacekeeping force in Lebanon. For what? To give more reasons for Israel to attack more Muslime there? They already killed a number of UN observers, who's to say they won't do the same to the Muslim peacekeepers and say it was an accident.

Last topic of the day, UN is still haggling over the terms in the resolution to stop the Israeli bombardment of Lebanon. I don't understand this. It took the UN just hours to pass Security Resolution 660 to condemn Iraq's invasion of Kuwait and here we are, a month on, and still no sign of any resolution being passed. In fact, it took the US all of a week to assemble a fighting force and mobilised into Saudi Arabia to prevent further Iraqi invasion. I can't help but wonder where is that force now? Is this because Lebanon has no natural resources worth protecting? Oh, they are doing Israel a favour by crippling Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as, keeping an eye on Iran. When, there are no checks on the region, terror will reign, and I meant the terror is Israel.

What's so difficult about telling Israel to stop the bombardment of Lebanon and Hizbullah to stop the foolish acts of attacking a de facto world power with no tangible results and return the 2 soldiers they set out to rescue before turning that into an operation to annihilate Hizbullah and terrorise the Lebanese? the world powers just don't get it, the longer they wait, the more people die, the more they fuel anti-US and anti-Israel feelings in the Muslim population, especially those in the Muddle East, I mean Middle East.

Oh, and a parting shot to the world leaders; get your heads out of the bush and start doing something for the betterment of humanity!!!!!!!!!!! Tha's your real job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If only I could stop the devastation......

2006-08-04T11:56:00.000+08:00

I was just trawling the net, blog hopping to take a look at what people around the world are writing about. One thing that struck me was the fact that the violence taking place in the Middle East is drawing lots of reaction from the people of the world. Mostly, the reaction is one of horror, exasperation and anger.

Horror at the violence, exasperation at the indecision and anger at the politicians.

Undoubtedly, I am one of them who feel the same way. Words just can't express the grief and pain etched on the faces of the innocent victims. The grief and pain at seeing your home destroyed, your family vanish and your life, hopes and dreams shattered. There are countless images, videos and commentaries talking about the situation in Lebanon. But that's all there is to it - talk.

There was talk of a ceasefire a week ago, but that has yet to materialise. The sluggishness of the whole process coupled with the delay of aid is only exacerbating the problem. I don't even want to talk about peace in the region as that, in reality, is a far-fetched idea, at least for now. Tony Blair, long been seen as Tonto to Bush's Lone Ranger persona, doesn't seem to have the guts nor the spine to issue a strong-worded statement pushing for a ceasefire. Hmmmm, this seems to be too big for me, I'll hide behind Bush. He'll know what to do. That seems to be his style of leadership. Truth be told, he IS the Prime Minister of a sovereign nation. Pity the Brits, having a spineless leader leading them.

Dr. Condoleezza Rice is jetsetting all over the place without any concrete plan to stop the violence. Probably, there was no plan to plan a stop to the violence. Confused? Befuddled? So am I. There's nothing much the world can do to stop it all. The UN has lost a lot credibility in it's failure to stop the US from invading Iraq and Afghanistan. It's position as the world's governing body has been downgraded to that of a US crony. Any sympathy gained by the US has also been eroded by it's invasion of Iraq and the impasse over the current situation in Lebanon. While once the world stood in awe at the resilience of the Americans in the wake of the 9/11 terrorrist attacks, the world now stares in disbelief at its flagrant and overt support of Israel terrorism of the innocent civilians of Lebanon.

Honestly. if I could I would have wringed Tony Blair's neck, bitch-slapped Condoleezza Rice and gouged out George Bush's eyes. I think Blair wouldn't have felt anything, seeing that he is spineless after all, neither would Rice feel a thing - damn, did you see the amount of make up that woman puts on everytime you see her on TV?. George Bush on the other hand would feel a slight tinge at the back of his head but it wouldn't matter anyway cos he's never opened his eyes anyway, except when it is to his advantage. I can't hide my feelings when it comes to these politicians. Anger is too kind a word to describe my feelings.

Yes, I am exasperated, angry and disgusted. Lebanon is a beautiful place, posessing a charm few countries could dream of. Years of civil war, followed by Israel occupation in the 80's has reduced the once magnificent country to a pale shadow of its former beauty and glory. How could I not be? Have you seen the photographs that depicts the devastation? I feel so sad and helpless looking at the children being killed. How many more has to be sacrificed before the world stands up to put an end to this violence?

I just hope that the people responsible for these atrocities get their just rewards. For the people of Lebanon and Palestine, have faith, be strong and never give up, insyallah, God will answer your prayers.

Blood and sex and our participation

2006-08-02T13:13:00.000+08:00

Have you read the news recently? Have you seen the photos of the devastation wrought on the people of Lebanon?

It's a shame. A country so beautiful destroyed by the hands of man. My uncle was in Beirut for a year or so working for MAS as the country head somewhere in 2003-04. He showed me photos of the place and I was gobsmacked. It looked so serene. Beirut was like the French Riviera. That's how beautiful the city is. I honestly couldn't care less if 2 groups of people with differing political ideologies wants to beat the living hell out of each other. I couldn't care less if they wanted to assasinate each others' leaders and send suicide squads to wreak havoc in the other's territories. What I do care was the targetting of innocent civilians.

In that respect, both sides are acting like savages. Hezbollah attack Israel's border patrols and captures 2 soldiers. Israel then retaliates with unequal measure by bombarding targets all over Lebanon indiscriminately, even killing UN observers. Hezbollah then fires back missiles at residential areas of northern Israel. Personally, I agree that Israel has the right to self-defence, though they are stretching the definition of self-defence to include the destruction of Hezbollah at all costs. After so much destruction and death, the world community are slowly beginning to react to stem the bloodshed.

I don't know about you, but I find it funny and, at the same time, debatable on the response of Big Brother. Their swift reaction to Iraq's invasion of Kuwait and their subsequent invasion of Iraq under the pretext of stopping a tyrant in the form of Saddam Hussein doesn't seem to be replicated when Israel attacked civilians in Lebanon. I can't help but wonder where is the swift reaction for the North Koreans or the many tyrants now in power in Africa. It also poses the question if the powers that be are selective of who they want to help or who they think are worth help.

As much as I want to go on at the political terrorism some countries are practicing, no amount of frustration would change the fact that the leader of the most powerful nation in the world has shit for brains and bias to boot. On to more interesting and gratifying news for now....

I remember reading Berita Harian, the local Malay newspaper featuring this particular campaign revolving around youths and premarital sex. The slogan of the campaign is "Lebih sexy, katakan tidak", transliterated to More sexy, say no. One of the campaign stills features a young girl looking into the mirror which shows her but pregnant, driving home the point of being pregnant is not sexy.

Honestly, pre-marital sex is a problem which leads to more serious social problems such as teenage pregnancy, discarded new-borns, unprepared parenthood which leads to more problems. You get my drift. It's a vicious cycle. I was reflecting upon this campaign and how effective it would be and somehow I had this feeling that such efforts are only scratching the surface. I mean most community efforts require participation from all walks of life. Otherwise, such efforts may be futile as the targeted audience would not be reached otherwise. Also, participation from parents are crucial though some parents can't seem to care less about their children's well-being much less such efforts.

From what I do know and can see, most of the youths who are susceptible to negative influences and, thus, would be more open to such activities, would be those who come from broken home or have broken hopes. The life they lead is one revolving around friends, desirable or not, it's their choice. Pubs and clubs are more of their kind of place as compared to mosques or community centers. Personally, I feel, all youngsters need is attention, love and someone to talk to. If they can't find it at home, they'd go elsewhere to find the acceptance they crave. I believe and hold on to that adage that everything starts from our home. If we can't get our home in order, there is no way such efforts will work.

That said, such efforts need to be brought to the fore as even making our youths aware of the potential pitfalls is winning part of the battle. I mean being young and impressionable, youths are likely to get involved in such activities, what more the youths who struggle to find acceptance from their parents and peers. So, I'm all for it, let the youths know what they are getting into even if we are scratching the surface, it's a start.

PS: I am confused, we have a campaign by Action for aids promoting safe sex and we have this campaign with promotes abstinence. Can't help wondering which is better.....

Blogs, friends and happiness....

2006-07-31T09:59:00.000+08:00

I was having a good laugh listening to the deejays of Class 95 this morning. They were talking about me - the blogger, and the rest of the bloggers out there. I do find it funny though listening to them debating this topic. I guess I understood where they were coming from in reference to the blogs who seek attention, especially those who chronicle their extracurricular activities. Well, to each, his own.

Admittedly, there are those who crave attention and view the burgeoning hit count as a sign that their blog is a success. Personally, I view my blog as an extension of myself - an avenue for me to let my feelings known in a subtle way. I mean, when we are angry or pissed, words spewed from our lips tend to have more fire and passion in them and that may touch a few nerves and missing the point altogether. A friend and a ex-colleague and ex-boss once said to me, emails are very powerful. I guess that notion extends to blogs we write and letters we send.

This is simply because, with letters, emails and blogs, we tend to be retrospective in our views so much so that in getting our points across with such subtlety, we do not trip and fall and made to look like fools. In the heat of the moment, words don't just cut, they tear into you. Away from the heat though, when calmer and with hindsight, the words mellow, the mind becomes clearer and our judgements are not as clouded as when we are better able to get our point across. I have no problems with people who do everything they can to get their hit rates skyrocket - from posting nude photos of their not-so-beautiful bodies and faces to acid-tongue remarks which would only come back to haunt them. I say, let them be and let the powers that be handle them.

In the end, it all comes down to the purpose of it all - the purpose you create and maintain a blog and why you sniff around other people's blog.

OK, enough talking about others, my egomanical, self-centric personality's about to take over now. Yeah, it's kinda lame.....I know. So, I was out and about Suntec on Friday evening - had a meeting with an ex-camp mate from NS who's now a financial advisor. He got me a good quote for my insurance and we were there to talk a bit while settling the business. On the way to meet him, I chanced upon a trio of babes whom I know from secondary school. All three are teachers now though only 1 has settled down. The other 2 remain single and available, I think. Spent almost 10mins, chatting, exchanging pleasantries, introducing my wife - the kind of things you do when meeting old friends, without ever exchanging contacts.

On the way back though was when the conversation between me and my wife got interesting. I remember a few posts back where I mentioned about her friend who is so desperate to get hitched while acting like a juvenile schoolgirl breaking out of puberty. I asked my wife if she noticed how my friends reacted when I asked them if they were married or in a relationship. Well, nonchalant was a nice way to put it. I didn't think they were too bothered over the fact that they were not hitched at 29. I told my wife that there is more to life than just finding a man, getting married and having babies. I guess my friends had different priorities as compared to my wife's friend.

After 29 years if breathing the polluted air around me, it's safe to say that my perspective of life has changed though my desires have not waned. I think I'd much rather have a fulfilling life as opposed to a long life with unfulfilled dreams and desires. To me, it's better to enjoy what you have now than to risk losing everything without ever feeling the enjoyment that comes with it. The more we worry about where our next meal will come from, where our Mr or Miss Right is or contemplating buying that dress or hot gizmo, the further we are from happiness and closer we are to death.

I just don't want to come to a point where I'm drawing my last breaths wishing I had done something when I had the chance.

There are some things money just can't buy

2006-07-25T13:00:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking a lot over the last few days. There's been a lot going through my mind which made me neglect my blog for a few days. Yeap, tumultuous to say the least. I had a fallout with my parents over things I have been planning to get but I'm not gonna talk about that.

Those who have been reading my posts diligently, I doubt there are, would know that I was planning on doing some upgrades or enhancements to my car - something I have been planning for the longest time, even before I got the keys to the car. Well, that's all up in smoke now. It's all because of the quintessential question of expenditure or over-spending. Fingers were pointed at me, specifically, calling me a "glamour boy", colloquially translated as someone who likes to spend on the latest stuff in order to be perceived as cool or "in".

Let me ask you this question then. Put an IT geek in Sim Lim Square or put gamer in a shop selling games or put an Audiophile in Sim Lim Tower or a car enthusiast in an autoshop selling all there is and what do you get? A great big smile and a wild imagination....give him a blank check and you'll see him doing cartwheels.

We as humans have our own unique interests. Most men would have an interest in either sports, cars, bikes or IT gadgets, some have an equal amount of interest in all. Same goes for women. Only thing is that for women, fashion is high on that list. We go to work, slog hard and hope to get enough money at the end of the month to be able to buy that latest football jersey or MP3 or DVD player or the cool car accessory. If we don't, we'll save up and wait till we've accumulated enough. Women do the same too, they crave for that nice, hot dress or the latest perfume or the latest shade of pink lipstick.

While some would balk at the price tag of $200 for that hot dress or $400 on the new amplifier or $600 on the latest graphics card, there are those who'd scrimp and save to be able to own such items. Deep down, everyone has that desire to own something new, instead of just hand-me-downs all their lives. Having not enough money is, more often than not, just a time-delay mechanism which only serves to slow down the process of realising that coveted dream. However, at the end of the day, being able to realise that dream is a reward far more rewarding than anything tangible.

Let me ask the wives this question. What would you give to see the look on your husbands face when you buy him that latest handphone he's been eyeing eversince it was announced? For the husband, what price would you pay to see that look upon your wife's face when you present her with a new dress or jewelry? For the parents, what price would you put for that look on your child's face when you buy him that new games console he's been pleading you to buy for him? More often than not, it's the intangible rewards that matter, be it you buy something for some you love or you buying it for yourself as a reward for your past year of hard work.

Buying new things may not always be a waste of money, no matter how pragmatic you are. Even if you think your wife is wasting her money when buying a new pair of shoes when she already has 300 pairs lying around at home, to her its the realisation of a dream she has. Same thing goes for the wives. When your husband goes out to trade-in his handphone for the latest model, even though his current handphone is working just fine, does that mean he is wasting his money when you know owning that new piece of hardware will put a smile on his face, the very smile you love to see?? Would you have the heart to deny your child his toothy grin when refusing to buy him candy or ice-cream??

Well, as with all others, I too, dreamt of the latest stuff, I dreamt of upgrading my car, dreamt of getting the new Sony Ericsson K800i and hope to go to Australia for a holiday. However, due to certain events which transpired, I have since decided that they will remain just that - dreams.

Went to Sentosa, came back with nothing.

2006-07-24T12:39:00.000+08:00

There goes my weekend, in another blur of activities. The wife and me went to Sentosa, well, it was more of me hell-bent on going while she having had no choice or say in the matter, simply tagged along. Well, I starterd the day very early, washed the car and cleaned the house, while my wife cooked up breakfast and lunch, knowing we would be spending lunch at Sentosa.

It was supposed to be a meetup of the car club, of which I am a member, and a grand one at that. There was this marquee event for car enthusiasts, featuring a drifting competition, some booths and a movie screening ofThe Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. So, at around 10am we left the house and made our way there, all the while imagining in my mind what to expect. On reaching the island, after paying the $6.00 entrance fee, ouch!!, we proceeded to the wrong carpark. Only after a flurry of phone calls was I able to make my way to the right place.

What I came upon sank my heart.

While I did expect the car drifting competition to be held in the sun, what I didn't expect were the spectators were also standing in the hot sun. While I expected there to be booths all lined up with a carnival-like atmosphere with fun and games, what I got was 20 or so booths, mostly automotive in nature (it is a car enthusiasts event after all), with a smattering of booths hawking ladies accesories, all with a distinct lethargy in hawking their wares. Well, maybe with the exception of the Pioneer booth, there was an air of disinterest in the whole event. Disappointed was a feeling my friends and me shared.

After 1 hour, I decided to make full use of my time in Sentosa, having not visited the place in years, plus I had set aside $100 for some fun. So, off we - we being my wife and me - went to explore what changes has been taking place on the island. First, we tried Cinemania, at $25 for 2 to enter for all of 15 mins spent strapped to a chair going thru the so-called adventure. Damn, I got ripped off. Then, we went to the Orchid Garden, nothing much but, what else, orchids. Next, we went to Imbiah Lookout, where we were greeted by heavy rain.

Now, I know where's the new Carlsberg Sky Tower and the Sentosa Luge & Skybridge. Well, I'm ignorant about Sentosa, or choose to be. Being the big boy that I am, I wanted to try both the Sky Tower and the Luge, but darling wifey managed to convince me otherwise. In the end, I could only look on as those happy people queued for their turns. Well, at $10pax for the Sky Tower, I guess, missing it wouldn't be such a bad thing, but missing the Luge and Skybridge which would have set me back only $8pax was a travesty. In truth, she had left her "bravery scarf" at home, so walks on the wild side were out for the day.

Being the mountain tortoise that I am when it concerns local attractions, I had also wanted to go to the Underwater World. Could you believe it? I'm 29 and have yet to visit the Underwater World and the Night Safari. Then again, at $19.50pax, I could come back another time. In the midst of much haggling over where to go next, my wife said something to me which did make some sense. The reason why we were reluctant to part with our cash to visit local attractions is because we are not in a holiday mood. I mean, she's right, had we been elsewhere, we'd have no qualms splashing the cash.

I mean, we were at Langkawi for our honeymoon, and I remember visiting the Underwater World there and, though it was such a disappointment, I didn't come out feeling as empty as I would have had it been a local attraction. I mean walking around the complex, gawking at fishes in tanks and not their natural environment was not exactly what I envisioned the Underwater World to be. Same goes for the Sky Tower. While I would have paid for entry into the KL Towers, I'd have second thoughts at paying to look at familiar surroundings, albeit from a different angle. I'd have a great view from Mount Faber for free.

All said and done, at least we had a nice finish to the crappy day at Sentosa - dinner at Delifrance Bistro, courtesy of my leftover budget.

Mid East Flare-ups

2006-07-19T11:28:00.000+08:00

OK, it's been more than a week since I last posted. I am yet to find out exactly what transpired in the Zidane-Materazzi affair, not that I'm fixated on finding out anyway. Oh, and the big news now is Israel's offensive in southern Lebanon against the Hezbollah. The basic premise is that 2 of their soldiers were abducted by the Hezbollah and they would use any force necessary to obtain their release.

It's been the story of the region hasn't it?

The siege mentality adopted by the Zionist state surrounded by Muslim neighbours who'd gleefully rub their hand together at any chance they'd get at annihilating the Jewish neighbour they oh-so-love-to-hate. The turbulence engulfing the Middle-East shows no signs of abating and it seems like there may not be peace any time soon. Built from land usurped from their Arab neighbours, Israel seems to have this policy of striking first and striking hard at the enemy, and they excercise this policy a lot, mostly, with brutal outcomes.

For me, personally, I'd like to see the day the Arabs triumphing over their Israel, not because I am a Muslim, but more because I hold to the principle that no one has the right to chase the indigeneous people off their birthland. I felt the same for the Aborigines of Australia, long marginalised by the white immigrants, and for the Native Indians of the Americas. I do believe that Jerusalem should be sanctioned as an international city, due to it's uniqueness of being the cradle of the 3 major Abrahamic religions - Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

Then again, who am I to say?

Despite having UN Resolutions hanging over its head, there seems nothing that can be done to diffuse each and every flareup caused by the Israelis. However, if the flareup was caused by the Arabs, the rebuttal and response is swift and hard. Sad but true, in a region where stones are answered with bullets and "every means necessary", more often than not means excessive use of force, it's hard to see the end of such hostilities. The Arabs aren't doing much to diffuse it either, suicide bombings under the veil of martyrdom are hardly the kind of answers need to to the perennial question of the possibility of peaceful existence.

Fighting fire with fire will only cause the situation to get even hotter and more tense than it already is. Every Israeli incursion into the Palestinian territories, killing innocent civilians while at it, is replied with suicide bombings of innocent civilians from Israel. Likewise, any suicide attacks replied with more incursions. It's a vicious cycle which never seems to end. And now this. Israel attacks south Lebanon to force Hezbollah to release their kidnapped soldiers. While I pity the innocent Lebanese killed in this show of force by the Israelis, I can't help thinking that had these 2 soldiers be released, the bloodshed might just end - for now.

The way I see it now, the situation is set to escalate further, I'd probably not discount a full-scale invasion by Israel into South Lebanon just as they did in 1980. I do not think Israel should not excercise its right to self-defence, however, that said, they should have excercised restraint - a concept the Israel government seem to to find alien. It's kind of like a playground fight between 2 boys. The smaller boy provokes the bigger boy, calling him stupid, and get a slap, a shove, a punch and kick up the backside all at once. At the same time, sniggering at the rest of the boys, taunnting them to do domething about it.

Yeap, we are those other boys, some watching, some egging on the 2 boys, all the while waiting for someone to step in, only to see the biggest boy around sitting at the corner, pretending nothing happened, if you get my drift.

Give the man a break

2006-07-10T16:08:00.000+08:00

OK, I am shocked. Just like the rest of us are. Zizou, arguably the best footballer of his generation, one of the most soft-spoke athletes around, launched into a headbutt into the chest of Marco Materazzi in his final, farewell match. Damn, that was some headbutt too, any bull in Pamplona would have been proud.

I'm not even gonna talk about the circumstances leading to the event nor am I gonna talk about the match - there are enough websites covering that incident. What I do find disturbing is the fact that people are lauding Zidane for his sense of honour and chastizing Materazzi for his provocation. I mean, seriously, do we have to do that? Let's go past the fact that they are indeed public figures whose actions are watched by millions, if not billion all over the world.

We have this sick fixation for stargazing and I'm not talking astr0nomy here. We love heroes and at the same time we hate villains. To us, it epitomises the struggle between good and evil - the very fundamentals of our lives - and the hope that comes with the good. No ones wants to be a villain but everyone wants to be a hero. Due to this fiaxation we find ourselves looking up to our heroes.In this case, is Zidane the hero and is Materazzi the villain? But who defines who as a hero?

To me, I'd rather just look at it as one man's reaction to another's provocation. There are no heroes here. This thing happens all over the world. You get jibes all the time from your friends, I get it for my rotund figure. Do we really have to scrutinize Zidane's reaction even if he is a public figure? He is not a hero, he is a mere mortal, a real life person with feelings - feelings that are susceptible to being hurt at the provocations and insinuations of others.

Heroes exist only to give hope to those in need of the little ray of hope. We have Robin Hood, King Arthur, Hercules and Archilles as heroes. God knows if they had ever been real or just webs spun by old men to inspire the young of their time, whose tales have been retold countless times with a generous dose of embellishments of their own. I guess in every era, in every community, in every social structure, heroes exist for a unifying reason - to give hope and direction to the desired morality in our lives.

The Greeks has Hercules and Archilles as their beacon of hope, Anglo-Saxons has King Arthur and Robin Hood, the Malays has Hang Tuah, the Chinese has Wong Fei Hong, the Americans has........well, they have Rambo and Luke Skywalker. All these heroes symbolizes the good - in every facet of their lives - that we desire to have in our lives and the hope that our children will be as good as these heroes. Dare we put Zidane in the same bracket as them?

Last I check, none of those heroes have headbutted their adversaries. Give Zidane a break, he's not a hero, just a mere mortal with immortal talents.

Football: sport or business?

2006-07-06T11:52:00.000+08:00

For those who know me personally might find this a bit strange. This is the year of the FIFA World Cup and me being a football nut/junkie/fanatic/addict, I have yet to discuss anything on my blog even remotely related to football or soccer, depending on which side of the planet u live in. Strange isn't it?

Having spent the last 4 years gearing myself up for the biggest event on any football mad person, nothing has yet to come out of me is indeed surprising, even for me. No, it's not a case of me going cold turkey to cure myself off my football addiction, it's just that I felt there was no interesting thing to discuss. I mean look around you. Banners are everywhere. So are the posters. Not that I have lost interest, far from it, I just did not see the need to discuss my thoughts on the shocks of this tournament when there are countless footballs pundits all over the world waiting to give their take on things. I'm not about to join Gary Lineker or Bryan Robson as a pundit.

But let's looks at the hype surrounding this event or any football event for that matter. Just point me to any major football tournament which do not generate as much hype and interest. As the commercials go, "We all speak football". Well, I know that sports, in general, trancends any barriers, be it, religious, racial, language, ideologies and politics. However, any kind of organised sports still at it's very core administered by a bunch of people, who are, nevertheless, politicians. And you know when politics come into play, things will get cloudy.

I pity the football millionaires. I really do. I mean look at how many of them have fallen by the wayside. Prime example amongst them, the legendary George Best. Acclaimend by many to be the most gifted of footballers, he threw his life away when at the age of 26 he walked way from it all. Overcome by the trappings of success, he just didn't know what to do with all his money and spent it all on the booze. It's a very common tale, poor young boy comes to the city to play his favourite game, gets noticed by the thousands of scouts, signs a huge contract with more zeroes he could count, gets better, becomes more famous. Remmber Garrincha? The World Cup winner with Brazil in 1958, a team-mate of the immortal Pele, well, he died penniless.

While George Best is not the only one, he remains the epitomy of fame getting into the head of a young footballer. And this was way back in the 60's and 70's when football has yet to reach it's financial pinnacle. Owing to the fact that there will always be the insatiable demand to watch the skills of top players, tournaments are created to exhibit these very skills. And at whose expense? Of course, without the spectators, the footballing gods will not be as rich as they are now. But success always come with a price. I mean they are being thrust into the limelight and not all of them are comfortable with a microphone shoved in their face, flashes going off everywhere.

Then again, without these sporting administrators and the whole media circus, we would never be able to witness the many unforgettable skills on show. Way back in 1970, only a handful of people would have been so lucky to be able to watch the Final itself. Now, in 2006, almost everyone had access to the games, even those poor detainees in Guantanamo Bay. While I dislike the commercialism that is so prevalent in my beloved sports - The Beautiful Game, I have to admit that without such overt commercialism, we would not have had the luxury of witnessing the rise of South Korea in 2002 or the triumph of Zizou and France in 1998 or the gut-wrenching penalty miss by Robberto Baggio in 1994.

I have to admit that while it is crazy to wake up at the unearthly hours here just to watch 22 men chasing after a ball, many amongst us would miss the games for anything in the world. Not me, I'd gladly fork out my money all over again to watch that freekick by Beckham against Colombia in 1998, that wonder solo goal by Owen in the same tournament, that superb strike by Bergkamp against Argentina in 1998 and the long range strike by Gheorghe Hagi in 1994. Pieces of skills that we, mere mortals, could only dream of.

2010, yeap, I'll be watching. Again

I'm staying

2006-07-03T16:44:00.000+08:00

I have always wondered why some people would want to move away from the place they called home, where they grew up, made friends, fall in love for the first time. I remember a few months ago where there was this debate about the stayers and leavers, or something to that effect.

Being young, we all have this adventurous streak in us, save for the few chicken-hearted amongst us. I have a few friends who have been complaining and whining for the longest time about how shackled they feel living in Singapore, not having the kind of freedom that they crave. Even up till now, I have yet to understand what it was meant by that.

Freedom? Freedom from what?

We have long since left behind our colonial past and the shackles that once came with it. Heck, the ones doing all the whining have never known what it was like to be treated as second-class citizens in their own lands. Terror tales abound about the treatment of Asians in western nations, Australia included. It seems like Asians are generally viewed as usurpers to their economy, adding more competition to an already competitive economy. Grass is greener on the other side?

Strange isn't it? While governments around the world expound the virtues of Free Trade Agreements and a free market economy, the population, as a whole, dread the extra competition, even if it means more choices. So, even if we think we are going to a land of opportunities, the stark reality of it all is that, we may not be as welcomed, in spite of the banner welcoming you at the airport. Think about it, would you rather have holiday makes come to your country and splurge the cash or would you rather have the same people settling down permanently and compete for whatever resources that are available?

I guess this is why a lot of those who migrate, especially those who are not as well-off financially, often find themseles in a conundrum, trying to eke out a living out of nothing. Most of those who have studied these phenom would say that it is a vicious cycle, while success breeds success, pverty breeds, poverty. Often it is said that to break out of this vicious poverty cycle, a good education is key, that in itself is flawed. How do you guarantee a good education when the people you are trying to educate don't have enough for their own survival, let along education.

I guess most of us Singaporeans do not fall under that category where we live hand to mouth. A day to day existence which most would cringe at. I am happy where I, in spite of all the talk about lack of freedom and a vibrant life. Think of it this way, probably half the world do not have access clean drinking water, much less buffets and gourmet cuisine.

A few lecherous old men......

2006-06-29T14:11:00.000+08:00

We have come caross a multitude of characters in our lifetime. The ones we usually treat with disdain are the voyuers, perverted and chee ko pek, or leacherous, to the uninitiated. I mean, we sometimes look at criminals with a certain amount of caution, but lecherous old men are simply treated with disdain. Some have even gone as far as to distant themselves from relatives who are labelled as chee ko pek.

The low life amongst the low lifes. Yeap. that's how we treat them.

Having walked the back alleys of red light districts in our sunny island-nation, one thing strikes me, it's either the foreign workers or the chee ko peks and the occasional gawking young men who roam the streets. I can't fault the foreign workers. They do things that we don't want to do, ever. they leave their hometowns, some leave their wife and kids in order to earn more here to provide better for those they left behind.

Bereft of any sense of belonging here and away from their loved ones, most of them, young men, become lonely. Living in a dorm with other men as company, loneliness is a painful thing to live with. Let's face it, they are men, so the desire is there. It's either they start a relationship with another foreign worker, be it amongst them, God forbid, or a female domestic worker (read: maid) or they go to the back alleys and look for love for hire. Well, they are young men, by any standard, hormones raging and all, so it is forgivable, taking into consideration their circumstances.

What I can't fathom are the older local men who roam the very same streets. Most are grandfathers and some are living off their pensions and CPF money. Heck, some even depend on their children to give them money to satisfy their vicely cravings. Well, the children wouldn't know this dark secret. It wouldn't be so bad if these old men are single, widowers or divorcees. There are those who are still married. Whatever their reasons for visiting, or worse, frequenting such places, I doubt there are any reasons which society would willingly accept.

The recent news about seedy massage parlours offering dubious health massages only reinforced the public's disdain towards such businesses. I pity those who offer professional massages who will undoubtedly have a poorer reputation, no thanks in large measures to their seedy cousins. One question that has to be raised is why is it that these seedy business are cropping up like mushroom after heavy rain. Well, as the old business adage goes, where there is demand, there will be supply.

Wonder who could be driving the demand up where you seldom see foreign workers wondering about on their offdays in the heartlands of Singapore?

Do I know you?

2006-06-26T11:39:00.000+08:00

Have you ever noticed how intertwined our lives are with the people around us?

I mean look around you and you'd see people. The only times you won't other people are when you are taking a crap in some cubicle or you are lost all by yourself einter in the jungle or out at sea. That will put us in 2 extremely opposite situation, the former, you have no wish to see another pair of eyes staring back at you while the latter, you wish for someone to look at you, well, more to look for you than anything else.

Well, whatever it is, the fact remains that our lives are somewhat intertwined with each other. Whether we like or not, it is a fact that our every action, word spoken and every move affects someone else. Consider this, you sneeze loudly, people will turn and look at you; you talk loudly, people will glare at you, and if you fart, people will pinch their noses and walk away as soon as they can from Ground Zero.

We all go through many phases in our lifetime - when we were kids, when we were in primary school, secondary school, polytechnic, JCs and for the few smart ones, university. Then, we start work, go through many courses, meet more people yet again. So many people have walked into our lives and, some, left it as quickly as they came, yet there as those few who have made a small imprint in our lives, be it a footnote in our life's story or an indelible mark permanently etched in our memory.

So many times, have we stumbled upon a face so familiar yet we can't recall who they are or where we met them. A lot of times it takes a lot of courage just to approach that some one so familiar to say "Hi, don't I know you from somewhere?". More so if it happens to be that cute girl you used to admire from afar back in school. Well, it happens to me a lot of times. In fact more often than not, I'd just pass by and act like I never met them, unless of course they recognised me firstor gave some form of acknowledgement by way of a smile.

Best part of it all is, there area few occasions where I know the face but just can't put my finger on their name or even where we met. Recently, I met with an aquaintance, whom I knew from my National Service days. We served in the same camp, he was a clerk, while I was a medic. I guess he recognised my face but like me, unsure who I was and whether or not I knew him. It's only when I first said, "You look familiar, don't I know you from somewhere?" that he smiled and acknowledged me and after some fact finding did we establish and were able to recall.

I guess he forms some of the countless footnotes in my life. Isn't it weird? The people you left behind and have and having no attachments to, seem to come back into your life every now and then, while the people whom you have lost contact with and long to meet again, never seem to appear and those who are currently hanging around us, whom we have no inclination to ever see again, never seem to leave.

Drifting away again.

2006-06-22T13:11:00.000+08:00

I think I need help.

No, I'm not going crazy. Well, not yet anyway. It's just that the past week was so hectic. I got myself to blame for my having this feeling of apathy. You know how they say, too much work made jack a dull boy. Well, no one ever told me too much play would spoil me!!

3 days in Pangkor followed by 4 days of work with 2 days in KL really sapped me. Not so much because of the driving up and down half of Peninsular Malaysia but more because I couldn't get myself in the zone at work. Every so often, I find myself drifting away from whatever thing is on my PC screen and find myself looking out at sea. Waste of productivity? To the company, yes, to me, it's more of the hope and expectation that the realisation of that dream comes sooner rather than later. What dream? The idyllic lifestyle.

I guess most of us would want to live an idyllic life, somewhere by the beach, where the hustle of city life is far away from our eyes, ears and mind. It's just something about the beach that gives us all a sense of calm and tranquility that would otherwise be absent in our lives as long as we live our normal lives. I have read about quite a number of expatriates who have uprooted their lives and whole families for some and moved to another part of the world in order to find some peace. Mostly, they settled in some resort island in Malaysia and set up resorts or chalets of their own which they rent out.

Well, they get the best of everything. Peace for their mind, customers for their business. I do admire their courage in doing that. Not too sure if I could ever muster the courage to do likewise. Then again, I asked myself, could I really leave behind all that I have worked so hard for and start anew somewhere else? Would I have the discipline to do without the cinemas, foodcourts, shopping malls andother entertainment I have come to enjoy? While I can do without the fast-paced environs of my little red dot, I 'm not sure if I could do without the entertainment avenues currently open to me now.

Idyllic island life, replete with it's rustic charms, soft see breeze and beautiful sunset/sunrise, is perfect for most of us for getaways, just not for permanent lifestyle. I think I'm just reading too many tourism brochures and travelogues.

Drove up north again!

2006-06-19T17:41:00.000+08:00

I was up in KL over the weekend. Yeah, I know, I just got back from Pangkor the Sunday before and was still feeling a bit jaded. Not so much because of the trip's exertions, more because my wife and I felt that the trip to Pangkor was too short. When my sis called asking us to go to KL with her and my parents for the weekend, we jumped at it.

Another getaway? Hell, yeah!

I don't know why but I just enjoy hitting the open road. Strangely enough, I never did that when I was still riding my bike. Partly because, my mom wouldn't allow it, more so because, I suffered cash flow problems which very much inhibited my innate desires for long rides up north. Just couldn't spare the budget when the opportunities for riding trips with friends opened up. Not like my cash flow problems have eased, just that now with dual income (read: the wife), there is more chance of me being seen trotting up the NS Highway.

One of the reasons why I upgraded was so that my wife and I could go on such long drives. Damn, we really are making it worth our time and money with the car. Well, it satisfies my wife's desire for short holidays to take her mind of life's stresses while satisfying my own cravings for driving up north. While it would seem like a long distance to drive up north to KL, after the Pangkor trip, I found that driving up to KL seems easy.

While previously, I would have made a stop at Pagoh, roughly halfway from Singapore to KL, this time I went almost 250km to Seremban non stop before making a first rest, which lasted all of 10 mins. That's almost 75% of the journey in one go. I was surprised at myself that I could last that distance, in fact, it felt like I could drive to KL all the way without stop. I wasn't about to over-exert myself though.

I guess it's like a challenge for me and our car to drive up north. We have been to Cherating last December, Pangkor this June, KL twice, Malacca twice. When we first bought the car, my wife had reservations on its long distance capabilities, so much so, doubts started lingering in me. Those doubts have long been dispelled with the drives we have made so far.

Once thing's for sure though, more will be planned!!!

My initially dreaded Pangkor trip.

2006-06-13T09:56:00.000+08:00

Well, the trip to Pangkor's done with. It's over. What was thought to be a dreaded holiday turned out OK in the end. Eventually, we drove up in our own cars respectively, turned out to be really pleasant drive, though I had to keep a check on my right foot for fear of losing the car behind.

The place was gorgeous thought the company could have been better. No, I'm not spiting my wife's relatives, rather it was a case of being with the wrong company at the wrong place. I mean, there are some places we just wouldn't go with some people. Who goes to some beach party with their parents in tow, right? I'm pretty sure that none of us would have our religious teachers and elderly parents along in such environments.

That being said, we wouldn't have gone in the first place had my wife's aunt not asked us along, though in the end she was following us even if she asked us to go with her. What?

Exactly.

The person being invited to go along on the trip ended up being the leader of the trip. Not that I was complaining, being a Leo and all. So, the trip started at 5am where we met up at the Shell station across the Causeway. After filling up the petrol tanks to full we set off, though, she missed the first turn and we spent 30 mins wandering around JB trying to find each other - thank God for mobile phones! It was then that I found that the aunt, like some women I know, is unable to orientate herself with the unfamiliar roads and reading maps.

After finding each other, we set off for the North-South Highway, our main route to Perak, roughly 550km up north. I find it a challenge driving up north. Drove up to KL twice and Cherating , Pahang, once. Just something about hitting the open road that strikes a chord with me. The trip up north was uneventful for the most part. We made our first "pit stop" in Machap for our dawn prayers and some breakfast for an hour, then continued onwards to our next stop at Seremban for another short stop, just to stretch out those legs and for a quick toilet break. By then, it was 10am and we have covered some 280km.

From there, we hit the highway all the way till Nilai Utara where we left the E2 and continued on the E6 before hitting the E1 all the way to our exit at Bidor. Here was where the fun began. The scenery once we reached Perak was spectacular to say the least. We were basically driving through the meandering valleys. Mountains and cliffs lined the sides of the road. Much like taking a kayak down some river through the mountains. It was that spectacular. Too bad we couldn't stop the car by the side and take pictures.

We missed our 1.45pm ferry to the resort by virtue of getting lost in Perak looking for the right route to Lumut. Can't blame the wife here cos we didn't have proper maps and the road signs in Perak aren't actually that helpful either. We had no way of really knowing where we were and where we needed to be, in the end, with some guesswork and a little luck we did find the place, had some lunch at one of the many eateries lining up the town's roads before boarding the 3.45 ferry to the resort. The ferry took us 30mins but the journey was well worth it. The sights that welcomed us were simply breathtaking.

Once at the resort, I was in awe at the beauty that was staring back at me. No, I wasn't referring to the prtty staff at the front desk, but the place itself. We settled into our rooms and arranged for some transportation to take us to town for some shopping and some food. Not only were the local produce excellent, it was cheap too. To top it all off, the place where we decided to have dinner whipped up some excellent food at prices which almost knocked me off my seat. Yeah, was dirt cheap. Imagine a seafood spread with 8 dishes for 7 people setting us back by only RM70.

Went snorkelling on the second day but the snorkel site was not the best around, I have been to better snorkelling sites around Malaysia and this was not the best place for it. Pulau Payar Marine Park, near Langkawi was better and, of course, the Tioman Marine Park was better as well. But it was the first time the aunt and her son had gone snorkelling so, what the heck, I indulged them a bit here. Towards the end of the day, we hit the town again, but not without some "nice" happenings which I loathe to talk about - mainly because of the stupidity of the episode. Dinner was nice though.

Here are some picture I took of the place:

Dreading a holiday

2006-06-07T12:38:00.000+08:00

Well, it's my third wedding anniversary today and I'm at work, well, if it's any consolation, so is the wife. We did not make any special plans for tonight, no candlelit dinners, rose petals on the bed or fancy gifts. Just a trip to my MIL to confirm the details of our trip to Pangkor Island with her aunt. HUH???

Yeah, the feminists are already sharpening their claws. That's no way to celebrate a wedding anniversary. Truth is, I had a beautiful evening in mind. However, those plans were scuttled when her aunt asked us to go with her family to Pangkor. My wife, being the kind-hearted person that she is just couldn't say no. This was after all the very same aunt who worked her ass off during our wedding and having been recently widowed, she was not prepared to disappoint her. So, there went the plans for a romantic evening.

The departure date and accommodation arrangements were already taken care of by yours truly. The only thing left was mode of transportation. Up till now, there is no agreement on that. The aunt and her family wants to rent a car, an MPV, no less. My wife and her mom is in agreement with them. I'm the odd man out in the sense that I am against renting an MPV, when both families have a car each!!! Which means there will be 3 people to a car.

Well, their logic is that it will be more fun to travel together and because the trip will take 7 hours roughly, it wouldn't be so taxing on the driver. I honestly find that stupid mainly because I am biased and also because we would be incurring unnecessary cost for this trip. Renting an MPV would set us back easily by $450 for the 3 days 2 nights trip and we will be driving the MPV for only the trip there and back. Damn!! I could have extended my stay at Pangkor by 2 more nights with that money!!!

I mean I have driven up the East Coast for roughly 7 hours without having to change drivers with only 2 stops along the way. To make it worse, there was no expressway along that stretch, it was all kampungs and small towns along the way. Had to be extra careful not to knock down and monkeys, chickens or cats along the way. Well, the aunt's daughter was worried that her mom couldn't take it. Well, so was I when I took that trip but sometimes we have got to throw caution to the wind and enjoy the ride. Else life will just get too boring.

Yeah, well, I am pissed at not being able to drive my own car as the majority has spoken. I mean one of the reasons I bought a car was so that the wife and me could enjoy long driving holidays to KL or some place in Malaysia. Looks like that thought will be on a backburner for now. I just dread the thought of splurging $200 (after splitting with the aunt) on renting a car we would use for less than a day on a 3 day 2 nights trip when I could think of better things to do with that money, like a new sound system for my car!!!

Never in my life have I been so unenthusiastic about a holiday as I am now.

Man's fixation with discrediting the truth.

2006-06-05T12:07:00.000+08:00

Got a surprise in my mailbox today. Someone actually took the time to read my blog and leave a comment. Whoever that person was, thanks for taking the time reading my blog. Well, I published the lies, I mean comments that person put up for some curious minds to read through. Reading it halfway, I'd have to say, I admire the brilliant mind who concocted the story in the first place.

I finally watched the Da Vinci Code yesterday. I must say, contrary to what most people opined, I enjoyed the film. Not because of the lies or inconsistencies Muslims see in the movie, but more for the mystery it enshrouds. Yeah, the detractors are gonna say that the film does no justice to the great literary work by Dan Brown, who am I to argue? I have yet to read and have no intention to read the book. Just don't want to spoil the movie by reading the book.

Well, back to the comment. The anonymous person actually left a rather long comment, allegedly of the lost verses in the Quran. All these lost verses alleged that Muhammad PBUH was a drunk, coward, thief, paedophile, liar, tyrant, despot and calls himself a god. I have to give credit where it's due. This commentor is smart, that he/she does not leave his/her name. Yeah, I could trace him down, but what for? Engage in a religious debate with someone who sees nothing but lies?

Well, the author, not necessarily the commentor, has a good imagination and a glib tongue to have come up with such tales. This attempt at creating verses which was supposedly lost was poor, at best. The language used in the Quran is unworldly while the language in the "lost verses" were something a secondary school student could conjure up. I could go on and scrutinise it line by line, but the fact is, it is nothing but a cheap lie.

Have you ever wondered why Muslims vehemently deny categorically any allegations the Islam is a lie? It is for the simple reason that Muslims believe Islam to be the true religion of Allah and no lies shall desecrate it. This is the reason why any images of Muhammad is explicitly forbidden. When the cartoons of Muhammad PBUH were published, Muslims all over the world denounced the cartoons because it is considered sacrilegious.

Why is it that when the Da Vinci Code is published, with allegations which rocked the very foundations of Christianity, which questions the divinity of Jesus Christ, which puts into doubt the resurrection of Jesus, not all Christians are unequivocal in denouncing the book and the movie? Yes, there are calls from the Catholic Church to boycott the book and the movie but somehow, the conviction in those calls seems to be missing.

It is an innate reaction in Man to defend what he beliefs to be true. Think of it this way, if someone told you that your father was a drunk, and your mom was a prostitute and you were born in a backstreet and left at the doorstep of a nice house for adoption, would you have believed it, knowing it is all lies? You'd definitely defend the truth vehemently and deny categorically your dad is a drunk and your mum is a tramp. Unless, of course you yourself know it to be true and evidence is shown to support the claims.

Same goes to the anonymous commentor. You lack the conviction to sway me from my beliefs. You put in the alleged lost verses without telling me your sources. No mention of any references, worst of all, no names. Something to hide?

Views of an armchair politician

2006-06-02T10:07:00.000+08:00

Yeay, I'm past my half-century landmark. It is an achievement for me, seeing how I always seem to give up at importune moments. Nevertheless, I'm encouraged by some if the comments posted and some of the quips made to me personally by some friends about my musings. I am quite surprised to see some of the comments, pleasantly surprised, I might add.

Been a while since I covered some news. In fact, a lot has happened around me but I just chose to ignore them for the time being. Let's see, Indonesia suffered another quake which left more than 6000 dead, thousands more injured and roughly 200,000 homeless. Timor Leste is going through a national crisis. The nascent state having had to appeal for foreign troops to quell what now amounts to a civil war. All because the government sacked half the army. The PAP won the Elections, though not with as strong a mandate as they would like, though they would not publicly acknowledge it. James Gomez got a slap on the wrist for his antics. Iran still in defiance over US demands to scale down nuclear enrichment.

Phew! That a long list right there. Let's break it down shall we?

Still licking her wounds from the Boxing Day tsunami where the reconstructions efforts are still on-going, another earthquake struck Indonesia. Only this time there is no tsunami and it struck Java instead of Sumatra. Fact is, Mount Merapi has been spewing hot ash and threatening the villagers with an eruption soon. Geologists in the area were just waiting for the eruption which never happened to happen. As such many people in Yogyakarta and it's surrounding areas were unprepared for the devastation that was to follow.

I have been to Yogyakarta back in 2002. It was so beautiful. Took a halfday drive from Jakarta to Yogya, as it's affectionately known. Such beautiful countryside and such a laidback and historically rich place. Visited Borobudur and the palace or in Yogyakarta who are now the provincial governors of the special region. The royal family has been in power even before the Dutch set foot on the island. So sad to have such destruction wreck such a beautiful city.

Well, the nascent state of Timor Leste, fresh from it's tumultuous struggle for independence woke one find day to find almost half it's army deserting and promptly sack them. This plunged the world's newest nation into a state of total chaos and anarchy. Gangs of youth now rule the streets with their own brand of law enforcement. Enter Aussie troops acting a peacekeepers. While the violence has subsided somewhat, the question that needs to be asked is how was it that this was allowed to happen? To think that Timor's Foreign Minister is a candidate for the UN Secretary General post to replace Kofi Annan when his term expires. Makes me wonder how you expect to be able to keep a lid of rogue nations when you can't keep a lid of street gangs ruining your own neighbourhood.

I'm not even going to talk about the past Elections, because there is nothing worth talking about, It's still the same old song and dance and, besides, I wouldn't want to risk having my wrists slapped for speaking my mind. Let's talk about Big Brother, Uncle Sam. Still struggling to control Iraq after 3 years, they have now focused their attentions of Iran and North Korean nuclear programs, accusing them of enriching uranium for nuclear weapons. Well, North Korea are fairly confident that the US will not be launching any invasion in the near future as the are already bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan. Iran, being so close, can't be too confident yet.

In any case, I reiterate my belief that the US has outstayed its welcome and usefulness in the region. In spite of all this, Bush has been saying, with his poker face, about how Iraq has been a success and how Afghanistan is on the way to be a free country again, I doubt having a virtual puppet state in the region qualifies as a free nation. Back home, they argue that no one has the right to force his ideologies on others, yet they are doing it to the Afghans and Iraqis. If that's not double-standards, I don't know what is.

For now this armchair politician will take a break. Saying too much too soon makes me thirsty.

My pet peeve - while driving

2006-06-01T16:19:00.000+08:00

Went out with the wife to JB yesterday night for some seafood. Brought the MIL along because the wife wanted to. How could I say no? Everything was fine apart from the terribly long jam we found ourselves in approaching the Causeway. Once past that we went for our seafood binge and went to the BIL's place, deep in the suburbs of JB, a condo no less. Reached Singapore at about 12 midnight, eyes half-open, mind thinking only about my pillows and my bed.

Then, everybody's favourite public transport had to rear it's ugly head. Yeap, I'm talking about the taxi-driver. My very own personal favourite. Not because they are efficient or because they seem to disappear at 15 mins to midnight only to reappear in droves after midnight, or for the pleasant conversations they could come up with when all you wanted was some peace and quiet but more so for the fantastic and I-own-the road attitude some taxi drivers seem to exude.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate all taxi drivers, only some, but that minority can drive me up a wall in a flash. I mean my dad's a taxi driver himself, but he is one patient man. At times, when we drove together and I lost my cool at other inconsiderate road users, he was telling me to calm down. Admittedly, I am an aggressive driver. I don't have any qualms about tailgating or blocking off another driver if I think he is taking advantage of the fact that I drive a small car which can be easily bullied. Try bullying this bully.

Oh! Back to the drive back home from JB. After sending my MIL home, we went home, my mind was focussed on my pillows by now. On the wasy back, after making a right turn at the traffic light on a cross junction, a taxi on my left swerved into my lane and tried to squezze me out all because his lane was blocked by another taxi alighting passengers. I honked hard at him twice and he still squeezed me out. That pissed me off. Not only had he squeezed me off, he didn't have the brains to wave sorry or something like that.

So, me being the kind, considerate one, decided to take matters into my own hand, knowing this is nothing more than a monkey on my back. I proceeded to let him pass me and positioned my car directly behind him. Then, I switched on my high beam and stayed on his tail for a good3 km before he turned left at a junction when I went straight. Best part was he saw what I was doing and tried to move away from being in front of me by swerving left at a bend.

Well, this is not some novice he was dealing with. On hindsight, it was an immature stunt but if honking twice with my loud-ass horns, Stebel Magnums no less, just about the loudest aftermarket and legal horn around, high-beaming him at close distance ought to get his attention. I just hate it when other drivers act irresponsibly behind the wheel, endangering other road users. I mean, if I were being honked at that would mean I am endangering someone else, and would apologise immediately if I was wrong. So, the least I would expect is the other driver to acknowledge they were wrong.

Word of advice - be patient, take deep breaths when angry and don't do what I do. I just don't have the patience.

My minds says yes, my body says no!!!

2006-05-30T10:15:00.000+08:00

Back in 1995, I had a really nasty injury, the kind that would forever stick with you. I was playing 5-a-side football with some friends, wasn't the best but I know I could hold my own. It was a beautiful day, not too hot, sufficient cloud cover to allow some testosterone-charged boys to play football on a basketball court on a warm June afternoon. Then, it happened.

The ball was up in the air and I went in for a header. I jumped and next thing I know I was lying in a heap on the concrete, pain shooting through me, mind numbed all at once. My ankle just buckled under me. It seemed from the guys that I landed awkwardly on my ankle, with my full bodyweight crushing the joint. I knew it was bad. Somehow, I managed to get back up and limped away from the game, grimacing while the rest carried on after I assured them I was gonna be OK.

I picked up my stuff, still limping heavily and somehow managed to ride my motorbike home, all 25 km. The next day, I woke up to a badly swollen ankle staring back at me. Pain was so excruciating, I couldn't walk for a few days. Strangely, I don't remember ever going to the doctor. I let it heal naturally. Bad move. It never did heal completely. For the whole month of June that ear, I did not do much, just sat at home for 2 weeks, unable to move my ankle.

For six months I couldn't run without any pain. After 8 months, I started jogging but not sprint. This cause me to miss the 1996 football season which I would have made the team had I been OK. As things were, I missed that season. I did manage to get myself in the team the following year, played all the games, winning 2, drawing 2 and losing 2. The 1997 football season ended in the last group game for us, for me, it marked the end of my sports "career". Not like there was any to begin with.

Still, that injury stuck with me and never went away. I still remember doing my 24km route march during my Basic Military Training (BMT). My ankle buckled under the weight of all those equipment at roughly the 18km mark. This happened even after wearing ankle guards and lacing up my boots as tight as possible to ensure adequate support. I din't give up and continued the march, albeit at the tail end of the column. Crossed the finish line to rapturous applause for completing the arduous journey.

After I left the Army, I scaled down a lot on physical activity, fearing for my ankle. Suffice to say while that minimised the chances of me twisting my already weak ankle, it did cause me to "expand". All that inactivity caused another problem - backaches. I have lost count of the number of times my ankle gave way. Most times I didn't even go to see the doctor and just bear the pain. I'd love to be able to play soccer, badminton, sepaktakraw and silat like I used to, fact is, I can't.

Last Saturday, I went to have a traditional massage for my back which has been in perpetual pain ever since I helped my brother move his furniture the week before that. Damn, that guy was good. Well, my back did get better though there is still some pain. Then, yesterday, I managed to sprain my ankle again. While walking down the slope at the multi-storey carpark at my home.

Should have asked him to massage my ankle then.

Damn the stork!!

2006-05-26T14:50:00.000+08:00

I have been reading a dear friend's blog from time to time and it did puzzle me why whe had some password-protected posts. I just never got around to ask her till this morning. Well, it's just the same thing about not wanting unwanted attention from unknown people. Well she granted me access to her posts and I got a pleasant surprise, her 2nd baby is on the way!

Well, my younger brother's wife, yeah my sis-in-law, is also expecting her first kid, which would make me a blood uncle, is that what you call it? I know I already am an uncle by marriage, but that's not the same isn't it. A year ago when my brother got married, I said, in jest, that the race is on - the race to reproduce, seeing that I have been married for 2 years and still waiting for our first. Well, I lost the race, I think the stork got lost looking for my home.

For the moment, I am OK with the status quo, though my wife is not exactly contented. Sometimes it's the things we do unintentionally that gives away our feelings though. For example, I love kids, I dote on my niece and nephews, I play with my friend's first boy, gee, that little devil is so cute. However, it does not bother me too much that I don't have one of my own yet. For me what's more important is that me and my wife are financially, mentally and psychologically ready to have kids before we do start a family.

Me and my wife do get angry and sad whenever we read about abandoned babies, abused toddlers, irresponsible parenting and abortions. I guess it's because we love kids and also because we have yet to have one after 3 years. She feels hard done by when she reads about all these things and thinks of the unfairness the whole situation is. Here, we are waiting for our first kid and there, they are killing their kids.

My wife does feel pressure, though it's more self-inflicted than anything else. Noone has ever put pressure on her, least of all me. Our parents are supportive of us in whatever we do and have never questioned when we are going to have a baby. For that, I am thankful.

Still there are some insensitive ones who do ask how come or why. It's not like we ain't trying, just that the damned storks has gone to the wrong houses.

What do you believe in?

2006-05-24T12:18:00.000+08:00

A: Do you know who Leonardo Da Vinci is?
B: Oh, you mean the Da Vinci Code? Are they the same person?

Up to a few months ago, most people in Singapore would not have cared much for the man and his genius. Then, Dan Brown wrote the novel which got millions hooked up. Not forgetting the outrage in the Christian world at the claims in the book which rocks the very foundation upon which Christianity is based upon.

Honestly, I have no idea what the hoopla is all about. On a religious level and speaking from a Muslim point of view, the Da Vinci Code matters not. This is because Muslims believe Jesus was a Prophet, just like Muhammad PBUH. He was a messenger of god preaching the same religion Muhammad PBUH did 600 years later. Christianity, as we know it today, is perceived by Muslims to be corrupted by man over the years to fit their needs and feed their desires. I'm not about to get into a religious discussion here.

It is now accepted by many that the Da Vinci Code is nothing but a fabrication, something Man has done over the years. Conspiracy theories exists because man has always questioned the truth. Remember JFK? The Holocaust? While there exists a universally-accepted truth regarding the headlines, there are those who question the truth and fabricate stories and evidence to make their version of the truth more compelling. It is hard to accept one version of the truth over the other, to present evidence supporting each claim makes it even harder.

The difference between the Da Vinci Code and other conspiracy theories or alternate truths that makes it so compelling and so rivetting is the fact that the claims made in the Da Vinci code questions the faith of millions. While a lot of it is blasphemous and non-canonical, it does ask some very interesting questions. Personally, I am intrigued by all this hoopla, who wouldn't? Not because of the theories put forward, but more so for the imagination one man has and dared to put forward.

It's not just Christianity who has these alternate truths, Islam has it too. The Sunni and Shiites have been at loggerheads since our Prophet's death. While the Sunni agree on the choice of the 4 Rightly-Guided Khalifas, the Shiites argued that only the last Khalifa was to be accepted as the earlier three were considered to be usurpers. Then, there are theories of our Prophet being labelled as a womaniser and paedophile. Muslims all over the world has rejected these claims as heretical and blasphemous.

Imagine Jesus having descendants who are still alive today and the belief of resurrection of Jesus is false and that there will be no resurrection. In the end, it's all a question of faith and the strength of that faith we have. Put it simply, if our belief in our faith is strong, any lies put forward and depicted as the truth will not matter and will not shake the foundations of our beliefs if we believe it to be true.

Young and restless

2006-05-19T15:39:00.000+08:00

Blink. Blink. Blink.

That's all it takes and the day is gone. It's still relative how time flies, our perception of time is determined by our interest in the things we do at that point in time. For something we enjoy doing, 3 hours seems like too short a time, something we loath will take forever to finish even if it takes 5 minutes.

I was out bowling yesterday night with my wife, parents and sister. I spent 30 mins wandering in Parkway Parade awaiting their arrival at East Coast because I didn't want to be sitting there doing nothing while waiting for them. I went to meet them at East Coast once they arrived and we began our game. On the lane next to ours was a young malay couple minding their own business, playing their own game. So did we. I noticed that the boy - yeas, boy, cos he didn't look like he was past the legal drinking age in Singapore - had some nice tattoos on both his forearms.

Now, this might seem like a normal thing nowadays. But in a part of the world where being Malay would normally mean being a Muslim, this is not right. Tattoos and piercings are explicitly haram, not permissible, in Islam, with the exception of an ear piercing for the ladies, that's about it. Then again, there are countless Malay youths out there who sport tattoos and piercings, thinking it is cool to do so, as if wearing revealing clothes is already not enough.

Call me backwards, call me . Last, I checked they were Malays, Muslims and brought up on Eastern values of filiel piety, social tolerance and proper behaviour. Yet, there they were acting like a bunch of ruffians, tattoos everywhere, bodies pierced at places I don't want to know drinking alcohol - the very things the religion they profess doesn't permit. One religious teacher once commented that most Malays in Singapore become Muslims on special occasions only, namely, Hari Raya, their wedding, the collection of their IC and their death.

It's true. When Hari Raya comes around, the very same people who do not observe the fasting during the month of Ramadhan are the very same people who will wear the nice clothes, normally baju kurung. The Very same people who do not pray the required 5 times daily are the same ones who throng to the mosque during the Hari Raya prayers. The very same people who get drunk, commit pre-marital sex, sports tattoos and piercings are the very same ones who profess Islam as their religion during their wedding. And when they die, they are buried accoring to Islamic burial rites, all the while never practising the religion they profess.

I lament the fact that getting drunk, sporting tattoos, going to nightclubs/discos/pubs and pre-marital sex is getting more and more common among our youths, more so the Malays, because of the religion we profess. Such a sad situation but nothing we can do about it.