Before I begin my babbling, I'd like to offer my condolences to the familes of Rhys Jones and Antonio Puerta. It's sad to hear/read of their passing, especially of how it happened.
Rhys Jones was an 11 year old boy from Liverpool who was shot dead, presumably, by other teens on his way home after a football kickabout. Tragic. Antonio Puerta, a 22-year old professional footballer with Sevilla FC in Spain died 3 days after suffering a heart attack during a football match. Even more tragic is the revelation that he was about to be a father in 6 weeks. Doubt any pregnant wife can handle that loss at such a critical time in her life. Closer to home, a 17 yr old student , who happened to be the son of a colleague, died after collapsing at the finish line of a local triathlon meet. More recently, an Army captain died, also after collapsing at the finishing line of a 21km run.
What saddens me most is not so much that these people were so young and had bright futures, it's the loss felt by those left behind. I'm a guy and I can't imagine nor fathom the gamut of emotions gripping a heavily pregnant wife who's weeks away from delivering her first baby when told that her husband, father to her unborn child has died, even if the death has been inevitable for a few days. I think to describe her as distraught would be an injustice to her.
I'm yet to be a parent but I'm in no doubt that my colleague would have been as equally inconsolable when she first found out about her son's tragic passing. It's just tragic how such young lives with bright futures ahead of them, no doubt the ray of hope for their parents or spouses, had their lives cut short. I can only hope that those left behind is given the strength and courage to move on with life though I just can't begin to imagine having to cope with such a tragic loss.
At the end of the day, it's by His will that we are here and, by His will, we shall leave. As cheesy and antiquated as it may sound, we are all guilty of taking those we love for granted even when there are constant reminders to cherish them while they are still with us.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Sudden Death
Before I begin my babbling, I'd like to offer my condolences to the familes of Rhys Jones and Antonio Puerta. It's sad to hear/read of their passing, especially of how it happened.
Rhys Jones was an 11 year old boy from Liverpool who was shot dead, presumably, by other teens on his way home after a football kickabout. Tragic. Antonio Puerta, a 22-year old professional footballer with Sevilla FC in Spain died 3 days after suffering a heart attack during a football match. Even more tragic is the revelation that he was about to be a father in 6 weeks. Doubt any pregnant wife can handle that loss at such a critical time in her life. Closer to home, a 17 yr old student , who happened to be the son of a colleague, died after collapsing at the finish line of a local triathlon meet. More recently, an Army captain died, also after collapsing at the finishing line of a 21km run.
What saddens me most is not so much that these people were so young and had bright futures, it's the loss felt by those left behind. I'm a guy and I can't imagine nor fathom the gamut of emotions gripping a heavily pregnant wife who's weeks away from delivering her first baby when told that her husband, father to her unborn child has died, even if the death has been inevitable for a few days. I think to describe her as distraught would be an injustice to her.
I'm yet to be a parent but I'm in no doubt that my colleague would have been as equally inconsolable when she first found out about her son's tragic passing. It's just tragic how such young lives with bright futures ahead of them, no doubt the ray of hope for their parents or spouses, had their lives cut short. I can only hope that those left behind is given the strength and courage to move on with life though I just can't begin to imagine having to cope with such a tragic loss.
At the end of the day, it's by His will that we are here and, by His will, we shall leave. As cheesy and antiquated as it may sound, we are all guilty of taking those we love for granted even when there are constant reminders to cherish them while they are still with us.
Rhys Jones was an 11 year old boy from Liverpool who was shot dead, presumably, by other teens on his way home after a football kickabout. Tragic. Antonio Puerta, a 22-year old professional footballer with Sevilla FC in Spain died 3 days after suffering a heart attack during a football match. Even more tragic is the revelation that he was about to be a father in 6 weeks. Doubt any pregnant wife can handle that loss at such a critical time in her life. Closer to home, a 17 yr old student , who happened to be the son of a colleague, died after collapsing at the finish line of a local triathlon meet. More recently, an Army captain died, also after collapsing at the finishing line of a 21km run.
What saddens me most is not so much that these people were so young and had bright futures, it's the loss felt by those left behind. I'm a guy and I can't imagine nor fathom the gamut of emotions gripping a heavily pregnant wife who's weeks away from delivering her first baby when told that her husband, father to her unborn child has died, even if the death has been inevitable for a few days. I think to describe her as distraught would be an injustice to her.
I'm yet to be a parent but I'm in no doubt that my colleague would have been as equally inconsolable when she first found out about her son's tragic passing. It's just tragic how such young lives with bright futures ahead of them, no doubt the ray of hope for their parents or spouses, had their lives cut short. I can only hope that those left behind is given the strength and courage to move on with life though I just can't begin to imagine having to cope with such a tragic loss.
At the end of the day, it's by His will that we are here and, by His will, we shall leave. As cheesy and antiquated as it may sound, we are all guilty of taking those we love for granted even when there are constant reminders to cherish them while they are still with us.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Patience: Sign of strength or weakness
Just a little patience....Axl Rose sang.
Some people have it in abundance. I'd like to think I'm one of them. I mean I know everyone has patience, some with a higher emotional threshold before they burst at the seams. Not everyone can remain calm after being hit at the back of the head with a metal pipe out of the blue. That story's for another day though.
Patience is a double-edged sword. While some see it as a strength of one's character, others may see it as a sign of weakness or of gross meekness. Take my example. My inaction at being hit with a metal pipe can be seen as a sign of mental toughness in not reacting to such provocation or as a sign of my fear for fights, aka, cowardice.
How we define it to be depends on how well we know the person displaying that patience. In my case, those close to me would probably say that it was my strength in character in not responding, while those close to the agent provocateur would probably say I was scared to retaliate. Whichever way you see it, I'm pretty sure I'd have whooped his ass had I retaliated. Enough about that though.
Some things happened over the weekend also tested the limits of my patience. I'm not going to talk about it in detail right now because of a promise I made. However, it would be suffice to say it's a story that would never go away. Unfortunate me. It's just something I have to live with, though not necessarily mean having to reconcile with. While chatting with some friends, I said something which made me think again, " It's like having to deal with one problem isn't a stiff enough test for me, God decided that 2+1 would be a better test."
As much as I know and believe that one marries into a family and never just the person alone, I do wish that I can choose my family members at times. I guess it's all part of His grand design he has for all of us. For me, it's dealing with the people around me for whom I have neither care nor love for. I know that I have to remain patient for my wife and, especially, my baby's sake.
Please God, give me the strength to overcome this test you have given me with my dignity and sanity intact. Amin Ya Rabbal Al Amin.
Some people have it in abundance. I'd like to think I'm one of them. I mean I know everyone has patience, some with a higher emotional threshold before they burst at the seams. Not everyone can remain calm after being hit at the back of the head with a metal pipe out of the blue. That story's for another day though.
Patience is a double-edged sword. While some see it as a strength of one's character, others may see it as a sign of weakness or of gross meekness. Take my example. My inaction at being hit with a metal pipe can be seen as a sign of mental toughness in not reacting to such provocation or as a sign of my fear for fights, aka, cowardice.
How we define it to be depends on how well we know the person displaying that patience. In my case, those close to me would probably say that it was my strength in character in not responding, while those close to the agent provocateur would probably say I was scared to retaliate. Whichever way you see it, I'm pretty sure I'd have whooped his ass had I retaliated. Enough about that though.
Some things happened over the weekend also tested the limits of my patience. I'm not going to talk about it in detail right now because of a promise I made. However, it would be suffice to say it's a story that would never go away. Unfortunate me. It's just something I have to live with, though not necessarily mean having to reconcile with. While chatting with some friends, I said something which made me think again, " It's like having to deal with one problem isn't a stiff enough test for me, God decided that 2+1 would be a better test."
As much as I know and believe that one marries into a family and never just the person alone, I do wish that I can choose my family members at times. I guess it's all part of His grand design he has for all of us. For me, it's dealing with the people around me for whom I have neither care nor love for. I know that I have to remain patient for my wife and, especially, my baby's sake.
Please God, give me the strength to overcome this test you have given me with my dignity and sanity intact. Amin Ya Rabbal Al Amin.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Missionaries and dreams
23 South Koreans left for Afghanistan for what they called a humanitarian mission. Now, 21 are left huddled together in some desolate place in the middle of nowehere. Meanwhile, the South Korean government are willing to negotiate with terrorists in order to secure the release of their nationals.
I was watching the news yesterday and it showed clips of the distraught relatives of the first man who was killed. Apparently, they were there on humanitarian missions and denied strenuously that they were there for missionary work. That raises a question in itself. Who in the right mind, without mush governmental support would go into what is practically still a combat zone to do humanitarian missions, unless they are protected??
I, personally, doubt the veracity of their statements of the exact nature of their mission, considering that they were there as a church group and the first to be shot was a pastor. But that's just me, ever the skeptic. It has since emerged that a second man has been shot dead, an IT worker. I just wonder where the doctors or nurses are in this rag tag bunch of aid workers. There was no mention of them going under the auspices of any UN aid team or Mercy Relief or other NGOs. It's just 23 church goers. Hmmmmmmmmm.......no missionary work eh?
On to something more pertinent to life.........me!! Narcissistic me!!
Well, as mentioned in passing in my previous entry, I bought a new bed, well, actually I changed my whole bedroom set out of necessity. In the meantime, my evil twin was tempting good old me into upsizing our baby. I mean, the car. Yeah, I was tempted to do so. Especially after seeing a few of my friends driving the same car upgrading recently. Did some scouting and fell in love with the Suzuki SX4 and Hyundai Avante. Damn, they are fine. For a while, I dreamed of driving around town with either one.
After doing some scouting and doing a bit, actually a lot, of calculations, it dawned on me that ditching my current swanky ride, would mean having to forkout roughly $7k cash after trade in. Gulp. Wifey wasn't too excited about that prospect especially with Baby on the way. Come to think of it, I can make do with this car for 5 more years. I've gone to more places with her in the last 2 years than I could have even imagined. Sure, we could use the extra boot space and a lil more legroom, but in the end, common sense prevailed.
It's all about practicality. What's the point of paying so much more when the job gets done nontheless? What's the point of driving a dream car if it's beyond your means at the end of the day? At the end of it all, I realised that it's not practical getting a bigger car now when it's only me wifey and Baby using it mostly. So my dear Picanto, you'll be with me for a while yet. Maybe, we'll take Baby on a road trip soon.......
I was watching the news yesterday and it showed clips of the distraught relatives of the first man who was killed. Apparently, they were there on humanitarian missions and denied strenuously that they were there for missionary work. That raises a question in itself. Who in the right mind, without mush governmental support would go into what is practically still a combat zone to do humanitarian missions, unless they are protected??
I, personally, doubt the veracity of their statements of the exact nature of their mission, considering that they were there as a church group and the first to be shot was a pastor. But that's just me, ever the skeptic. It has since emerged that a second man has been shot dead, an IT worker. I just wonder where the doctors or nurses are in this rag tag bunch of aid workers. There was no mention of them going under the auspices of any UN aid team or Mercy Relief or other NGOs. It's just 23 church goers. Hmmmmmmmmm.......no missionary work eh?
On to something more pertinent to life.........me!! Narcissistic me!!
Well, as mentioned in passing in my previous entry, I bought a new bed, well, actually I changed my whole bedroom set out of necessity. In the meantime, my evil twin was tempting good old me into upsizing our baby. I mean, the car. Yeah, I was tempted to do so. Especially after seeing a few of my friends driving the same car upgrading recently. Did some scouting and fell in love with the Suzuki SX4 and Hyundai Avante. Damn, they are fine. For a while, I dreamed of driving around town with either one.
After doing some scouting and doing a bit, actually a lot, of calculations, it dawned on me that ditching my current swanky ride, would mean having to forkout roughly $7k cash after trade in. Gulp. Wifey wasn't too excited about that prospect especially with Baby on the way. Come to think of it, I can make do with this car for 5 more years. I've gone to more places with her in the last 2 years than I could have even imagined. Sure, we could use the extra boot space and a lil more legroom, but in the end, common sense prevailed.
It's all about practicality. What's the point of paying so much more when the job gets done nontheless? What's the point of driving a dream car if it's beyond your means at the end of the day? At the end of it all, I realised that it's not practical getting a bigger car now when it's only me wifey and Baby using it mostly. So my dear Picanto, you'll be with me for a while yet. Maybe, we'll take Baby on a road trip soon.......
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
My personal preparation for her
Happy thoughts!!! Time for happy thoughts!!!
Yeah, well, at a time when I'm preparing myself for my biggest challenge so far, I could do without negative thoughts. It's proving more difficult to achieve than just thinking about it. At times when my thoughts are supposed to be calm, I find myself swearing at other people, especially when I'm driving. No, I'm not about to launch another tirade at idiotic drivers or fire another broadside at inconsiderate drivers.
3 .5 months more to being a daddy and the stress of it is piling up. I am beginning to shudder at the thought of waking at night for a diaper change. I am fearing those long nights trying to put her to bed. And I am having nightmares at having to confront myself with what's left in the diaper when I take a peek over the hedges. In spite of all my fears, this is one responsibility I'm not going to shirk, not that I shirked any of my previous responsibilities before.
As with all things new which we come across in various stages in our lives, we adapt. We all adapted when we moved to a new school after PSLE, the same thing happened after our O-levels. Things changed and we all adapted. Fatherhood is no different. It's just another stage, just another level up. A step up that's eagerly anticipated, horror stories from other parents notwithstanding.
Wifey's belly growing bigger and I've begun communicating with her via Morse Code on top of the nightly talks coaxing her to sleep and not give her mummy sleepless nights. She's been a good girl thus far and have been listening to me. That's daddy's girl. Most importantly, wifey doesn't have trouble sleeping or eating. Oh, and we got ourselves a new bedroom set for our room. King-size bed some more!!!
The current sets' going to the spare room. It's not that the set we have is falling apart, it's just that we needed a bigger closet than our current 5 foot 3 inches closet could afford us. Daddy's girl's arrival only hastened that process of changing our bedroom set. Yeap, some movement of furniture expected in the coming weeks. In any case, I have managed to convinced wifey to ask her parents to stay with us during her confinement. Thus, the need for a closet and bed for them. Rather than get a small bed for them, we might as well get a bigger bed for us!!!
Yeah, well, at a time when I'm preparing myself for my biggest challenge so far, I could do without negative thoughts. It's proving more difficult to achieve than just thinking about it. At times when my thoughts are supposed to be calm, I find myself swearing at other people, especially when I'm driving. No, I'm not about to launch another tirade at idiotic drivers or fire another broadside at inconsiderate drivers.
3 .5 months more to being a daddy and the stress of it is piling up. I am beginning to shudder at the thought of waking at night for a diaper change. I am fearing those long nights trying to put her to bed. And I am having nightmares at having to confront myself with what's left in the diaper when I take a peek over the hedges. In spite of all my fears, this is one responsibility I'm not going to shirk, not that I shirked any of my previous responsibilities before.
As with all things new which we come across in various stages in our lives, we adapt. We all adapted when we moved to a new school after PSLE, the same thing happened after our O-levels. Things changed and we all adapted. Fatherhood is no different. It's just another stage, just another level up. A step up that's eagerly anticipated, horror stories from other parents notwithstanding.
Wifey's belly growing bigger and I've begun communicating with her via Morse Code on top of the nightly talks coaxing her to sleep and not give her mummy sleepless nights. She's been a good girl thus far and have been listening to me. That's daddy's girl. Most importantly, wifey doesn't have trouble sleeping or eating. Oh, and we got ourselves a new bedroom set for our room. King-size bed some more!!!
The current sets' going to the spare room. It's not that the set we have is falling apart, it's just that we needed a bigger closet than our current 5 foot 3 inches closet could afford us. Daddy's girl's arrival only hastened that process of changing our bedroom set. Yeap, some movement of furniture expected in the coming weeks. In any case, I have managed to convinced wifey to ask her parents to stay with us during her confinement. Thus, the need for a closet and bed for them. Rather than get a small bed for them, we might as well get a bigger bed for us!!!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
To Sir with luck
Sir Salman Mustdie......err...I mean Sir Salman Rushdie. That 3 letter word suffixed to the writer's name has caused an uproar and triggered protests in many parts of the Muslim world. Born to Muslim parents in Mumbai, the controversy he stirred will always be remembered generations after he's gone. And now a knighthood to boot?
UK has honoured a novelist, who will always be remembered as The writer with a death sentence over his head. I guess it's UK's right to honour him, no matter how trivial his works were to me. Apart from The Satanic Verses, for which he was sentenced to death, and whose sentence can not be repealed as the guy who sentenced him in the first place, Ayatollah Khomeini, is dead, I am hard-pressed to name his other literary works. I have yet to read The Satanic Verses and I have no inclination to do so at all.
My perplexed mind is still trying to understand the justifications for his knighthood. Granted, I'm no literary expert but to be given a knighthood for "Services to Literature" would mean he had to do something really grand. Probably, something on par with what Sir Isaac Newton achieved. Not only do I feel that he falls short of a deserving knighthood, he is nowhere close. Islamic-sensitivities aside, I can't think of his supposed services that warrants a knighthood apart from his sacreligious book. If controversy is the name of his justification, then UK deserves all the backlash it is geting right now.
Then again, I am a little surprised at the reactions coming from all over the world. Yes, I agree that it is deplorable and untimely that UK has decided to award him the knighthood. However, the reactions to the award are equally uncalled for and does nothing to alleviate the problem. What I mean to say is that in the face of Islamic extremism, such reactions are only playing into the hands of extremists. It is a widely accepted fact that extremism is misguided but still Muslims around the world are prone to such knee-jerk reactions. I'm sure Salman is sitting somewhere in London, drinking his cup of tea and having hearty laugh at all the furore that surrounds his knighthood.
I say let Salman get his knigthood. So what if some buffoons think he is a deserving recipient of such awards? It only serves to dilute the prestige of such an award when someone as controversial as Salman gets that award. Furthermore, it's not like he could command more respect or he'll get richer. I couldn't care less about it not because I don't care that my Prophet is slandered but I think there are bigger issues for us to worry about than some so-called literary giant's knighthood.
To Sir Salman Rushdie, good luck dealing with all the hatred and anger and possible assasinations attempts.
UK has honoured a novelist, who will always be remembered as The writer with a death sentence over his head. I guess it's UK's right to honour him, no matter how trivial his works were to me. Apart from The Satanic Verses, for which he was sentenced to death, and whose sentence can not be repealed as the guy who sentenced him in the first place, Ayatollah Khomeini, is dead, I am hard-pressed to name his other literary works. I have yet to read The Satanic Verses and I have no inclination to do so at all.
My perplexed mind is still trying to understand the justifications for his knighthood. Granted, I'm no literary expert but to be given a knighthood for "Services to Literature" would mean he had to do something really grand. Probably, something on par with what Sir Isaac Newton achieved. Not only do I feel that he falls short of a deserving knighthood, he is nowhere close. Islamic-sensitivities aside, I can't think of his supposed services that warrants a knighthood apart from his sacreligious book. If controversy is the name of his justification, then UK deserves all the backlash it is geting right now.
Then again, I am a little surprised at the reactions coming from all over the world. Yes, I agree that it is deplorable and untimely that UK has decided to award him the knighthood. However, the reactions to the award are equally uncalled for and does nothing to alleviate the problem. What I mean to say is that in the face of Islamic extremism, such reactions are only playing into the hands of extremists. It is a widely accepted fact that extremism is misguided but still Muslims around the world are prone to such knee-jerk reactions. I'm sure Salman is sitting somewhere in London, drinking his cup of tea and having hearty laugh at all the furore that surrounds his knighthood.
I say let Salman get his knigthood. So what if some buffoons think he is a deserving recipient of such awards? It only serves to dilute the prestige of such an award when someone as controversial as Salman gets that award. Furthermore, it's not like he could command more respect or he'll get richer. I couldn't care less about it not because I don't care that my Prophet is slandered but I think there are bigger issues for us to worry about than some so-called literary giant's knighthood.
To Sir Salman Rushdie, good luck dealing with all the hatred and anger and possible assasinations attempts.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
LTA should designate a lane for As*****es
I'm back...
Back to talking about my pet peeve. No, it's not about my in-laws. It's about those inconsiderate drivers. In the space of less than 24 hours I have had 4 different vehicles try to sideswipe me. OK, I'll admit it's not as bad on hindsight. Still, they are dangerous and not forgetting a menace. Who cares if you are running late? The prerogative is on you to make ure you aren't late. That still doesn't give you the approval of the other road users to drive like you own the roads.
First, there was this taxi - it almost always is a taxi, isn't it? - who, along Bedok Reservoir Road, just past the viaduct, swerved into my lane when I was centimetres behind him, to his right. And without signalling too. I didn't honk at him because I kind of expected he would do that judging from the way he drove just moments earlier. He was changing lanes and can't stick to his lane. I wondered where he learnt to drive. Then there was another taxi, again, yesterday night along Bukit Batok Road swerved into my lane immediately upon signalling while I was centimeters behind him, again to his right. This time I did honk at him, hard - for 5 long seconds. He just gave a sheepish look and waved to say sorry - I think.
This morning along the PIE a 15-foot lorry swerved into my lane along the PIE also in the same situation as the 2 taxis the night before. I did honk at him, but soon he disappeared, swerving in and out of lanes at high speeds. The moment I saw him speed off, I just eased my foot off the pedal and went alongs with the rest of the traffic. Damn that guy was a maniac. The last guy to cross my path was a pickup along Lavendar Street opposite of Singapore Casket. Nice place to drive dangerously. In front of me was a motorcyclist who was riding in a leisurely manner on the middle lane. This pickup swerved beside the motorcyclist, forcing the motorcyclist to move to the right lane. And again, this was centimeters in fromnt of me. So, I honked. Then I overtook the pickup on his right and looked at him. And he stared back at me, as if saying What? You got a problem???
I was so pissed. Sometimes, I wish I could mount a camera on my dash and record all these and then forward it to the TP or LTA for them to take action. It just pisses me off that such people are allowed to drive. One can draw parallels between the number of assholes we have on the road and the number of accidents involving them. So, if we could take these assholes, accidents would be so much of a rarity. And while we're at it, why not have tougher penalties for drink drivers, reckless drivers and assholes. A designated lane for them or a permanent mark on their vehicles which sets them apart, so the rest of us could avoid them when we see them.
Well, I know there are bound to be such people wherever we go, but singling them out clearly would make it safer for the rest of us. I mean they are already doing that for molesters and rapists by publishing their pictures in the mass media. A permanent tag would make it easier to identify them in public rather than to depend on picture posted on the papers.
Back to talking about my pet peeve. No, it's not about my in-laws. It's about those inconsiderate drivers. In the space of less than 24 hours I have had 4 different vehicles try to sideswipe me. OK, I'll admit it's not as bad on hindsight. Still, they are dangerous and not forgetting a menace. Who cares if you are running late? The prerogative is on you to make ure you aren't late. That still doesn't give you the approval of the other road users to drive like you own the roads.
First, there was this taxi - it almost always is a taxi, isn't it? - who, along Bedok Reservoir Road, just past the viaduct, swerved into my lane when I was centimetres behind him, to his right. And without signalling too. I didn't honk at him because I kind of expected he would do that judging from the way he drove just moments earlier. He was changing lanes and can't stick to his lane. I wondered where he learnt to drive. Then there was another taxi, again, yesterday night along Bukit Batok Road swerved into my lane immediately upon signalling while I was centimeters behind him, again to his right. This time I did honk at him, hard - for 5 long seconds. He just gave a sheepish look and waved to say sorry - I think.
This morning along the PIE a 15-foot lorry swerved into my lane along the PIE also in the same situation as the 2 taxis the night before. I did honk at him, but soon he disappeared, swerving in and out of lanes at high speeds. The moment I saw him speed off, I just eased my foot off the pedal and went alongs with the rest of the traffic. Damn that guy was a maniac. The last guy to cross my path was a pickup along Lavendar Street opposite of Singapore Casket. Nice place to drive dangerously. In front of me was a motorcyclist who was riding in a leisurely manner on the middle lane. This pickup swerved beside the motorcyclist, forcing the motorcyclist to move to the right lane. And again, this was centimeters in fromnt of me. So, I honked. Then I overtook the pickup on his right and looked at him. And he stared back at me, as if saying What? You got a problem???
I was so pissed. Sometimes, I wish I could mount a camera on my dash and record all these and then forward it to the TP or LTA for them to take action. It just pisses me off that such people are allowed to drive. One can draw parallels between the number of assholes we have on the road and the number of accidents involving them. So, if we could take these assholes, accidents would be so much of a rarity. And while we're at it, why not have tougher penalties for drink drivers, reckless drivers and assholes. A designated lane for them or a permanent mark on their vehicles which sets them apart, so the rest of us could avoid them when we see them.
Well, I know there are bound to be such people wherever we go, but singling them out clearly would make it safer for the rest of us. I mean they are already doing that for molesters and rapists by publishing their pictures in the mass media. A permanent tag would make it easier to identify them in public rather than to depend on picture posted on the papers.
Friday, May 11, 2007
I'd rather have bad lady drivers on the roads
A friend messageed me the other day on my IM. Her husband and her was contemplating buy a car because it was becoming a necessity rather than a luxury. With 2 kids and her husband having to travel to the other end of the island, it seems like a necessary expense. Problem is her husband is yet to get a licence. As such, any car purchase was to be done when her husband has obtained a licence to drive.
Somewhere along the discussion, the topic shifted to one about bad lady drivers and the stigma that goes along with it. She was telling me how harrowing it can be sitting on the passenger side of a Hyundai Tuscon being driven by a lady driver who is bad with directions. Those who know me will attest to the fact that I don't normally have a high regard of lady drivers and this stems not so much from hearsay but from the 12 years I have been riding and driving. The thing is, no matter what anyone says, out of every 10 instances of bad driving I encounter, at least 4 could be attributed to bad lady drivers.
Yeah, I already hear the knives being sharpened by lady drivers with the devilish look on their eyes.
In spite of their bad driving and the occasional driving up the road against the flow of traffic, I'd much rather have the bad lady drivers than the inconsiderate male drivers. My dislike for taxi drivers is well-documented. However, that dislike actually extends to those inconsiderate drivers who like to tailgate, race on the roads and drink and drive. And they, mostly, are the males. I admit it. Being a male driver, I too, experience the sudden surge of testosterone whenever my ego is bruised by those who want to enforce their belief that they are better drivers than I am, by tailgating my car while I'm already hitting 100kmh.
Just yesterday, Christopher Lee, the actor, got jailed for drink driving. He's lucky in the sense that in his case no one got killed. Still, there are no excuses for such excesses. I mean you want to endanger your life by racing, go ahead, just don't do it on the roads where there are others using it as well. You want to feel the thrill of speeding, go ahead, just not on our roads where other road users can also be endangered by your rash acts. It's worse if people get killed. And people do get killed.
My anger does not end there. Recently, there was a report of this allegedly drunk guy crashing his car into a busstop at Penang Road. The best part was that he was sheepish about it when asked if he was speeding. Not only was he irresponsible, he was indignant about it too. To me, we have no place for such irresponsible behaviour in our society. It's one thing to be drink-driving, it's another to shrug it off. It's as if other people's lives aren't as important. Damn bloody selfish.
For the lady drivers, as bad as they can be behind the wheel, you are still responsible drivers - mostly.
Somewhere along the discussion, the topic shifted to one about bad lady drivers and the stigma that goes along with it. She was telling me how harrowing it can be sitting on the passenger side of a Hyundai Tuscon being driven by a lady driver who is bad with directions. Those who know me will attest to the fact that I don't normally have a high regard of lady drivers and this stems not so much from hearsay but from the 12 years I have been riding and driving. The thing is, no matter what anyone says, out of every 10 instances of bad driving I encounter, at least 4 could be attributed to bad lady drivers.
Yeah, I already hear the knives being sharpened by lady drivers with the devilish look on their eyes.
In spite of their bad driving and the occasional driving up the road against the flow of traffic, I'd much rather have the bad lady drivers than the inconsiderate male drivers. My dislike for taxi drivers is well-documented. However, that dislike actually extends to those inconsiderate drivers who like to tailgate, race on the roads and drink and drive. And they, mostly, are the males. I admit it. Being a male driver, I too, experience the sudden surge of testosterone whenever my ego is bruised by those who want to enforce their belief that they are better drivers than I am, by tailgating my car while I'm already hitting 100kmh.
Just yesterday, Christopher Lee, the actor, got jailed for drink driving. He's lucky in the sense that in his case no one got killed. Still, there are no excuses for such excesses. I mean you want to endanger your life by racing, go ahead, just don't do it on the roads where there are others using it as well. You want to feel the thrill of speeding, go ahead, just not on our roads where other road users can also be endangered by your rash acts. It's worse if people get killed. And people do get killed.
My anger does not end there. Recently, there was a report of this allegedly drunk guy crashing his car into a busstop at Penang Road. The best part was that he was sheepish about it when asked if he was speeding. Not only was he irresponsible, he was indignant about it too. To me, we have no place for such irresponsible behaviour in our society. It's one thing to be drink-driving, it's another to shrug it off. It's as if other people's lives aren't as important. Damn bloody selfish.
For the lady drivers, as bad as they can be behind the wheel, you are still responsible drivers - mostly.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Rubbing it rite
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Oh, how true that stands for me now. It seems that there was some unhappiness with regards to my previous rant about my dealing with my wife's crankiness.
One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.
I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon.
It seems that I have been misunderstood big time. Here's the thing for those of you who think you know me but dun really do. I am perfectly happy dealing with my wife's crankiness. It's a happy problem, much akin to Sir Alex Ferguson having a fully fit squad when facing AC Milan - I'm not going there now. I have been waiting patiently for 3.5 years to hear, "Congratulations sir, your wife is pregnant" and I'm not about to get rattled by a pregnant woman's crankiness and mood swings, especially when that woman happens to be my wife. I wasn't complaining about her being cranky, and neither was I unhappy that I have more cravings to deal with in the next few months. In fact, I look forward to the next months with the same trepidation I am still having.
When I typed those words, it was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek sort of comment. Instead, I was faced with the wrath of a friend of mine who said,"Women who are pregnant don't know they are cranky". OK, point taken. My wife, while initially displeased with what was written, understood what I meant to say after I had told her what I meant. C'mon, you don't honestly think that I'd label a friend an idiot for cheekily encouraging my wife to take advantage of her pregnancy to get me to do things for her. It's in the same tongue-in-cheek verve that I wrote my previous blog. Let me make it clear once again. I love my wife and I am damn ecstatic that she is pregnant, even with the extra baggage and everything. Enough about it tho.
I just hope my kids don't turn out like some of the kids I see and hear tho. I have a lot of friends who are teachers as I'm sure many Singaporeans do. And many of these teachers are family people themselves, with their own brood. One of these teacher friend of mine was complaining to me about how uncouth some of the students are nowadays. Their lack of sensitivity towards others and their lack of respect towards their teachers are appalling.
I have always believed that we are how we are brought up to be, nurture plays a far more important role than nature. Nurture moulds the mind and psyche while nature defines what we look like and where our strengths would be. If the nurture is lacking, no amount of natural intuition will make up for that lack of proper nurturing. I was really taken aback after reading her blog with regards to what her student mocked her with through his instant messenger. While such immaturity and insensitivity was to be expected given his broken home and lack of fatherly figure, the lackadaisical and nonchalant attitude of his elder cousin towards my friend's protestations about him was even more deplorable, especially considering that she is a teacher herself. If a close family member who happens to be a teacher just wouldn't care, who else would?
I respect the teachers who have persevered through the years to mould our nation. I really do. The kind of things they have to endure, especially from the worst amongst us, is not something many of us have the stomach for. Which is why I am sorry to hear this sort of things happening to the teachers I know. My friend just went thru a torrid and heart-wrenching time and for her student to mock her was totally uncalled-for. And I could understand why she felt the way she did. If it were me, I might just have been pushed over the edge.
Thankfully, I'm not a teacher.
One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.
I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon.
It seems that I have been misunderstood big time. Here's the thing for those of you who think you know me but dun really do. I am perfectly happy dealing with my wife's crankiness. It's a happy problem, much akin to Sir Alex Ferguson having a fully fit squad when facing AC Milan - I'm not going there now. I have been waiting patiently for 3.5 years to hear, "Congratulations sir, your wife is pregnant" and I'm not about to get rattled by a pregnant woman's crankiness and mood swings, especially when that woman happens to be my wife. I wasn't complaining about her being cranky, and neither was I unhappy that I have more cravings to deal with in the next few months. In fact, I look forward to the next months with the same trepidation I am still having.
When I typed those words, it was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek sort of comment. Instead, I was faced with the wrath of a friend of mine who said,"Women who are pregnant don't know they are cranky". OK, point taken. My wife, while initially displeased with what was written, understood what I meant to say after I had told her what I meant. C'mon, you don't honestly think that I'd label a friend an idiot for cheekily encouraging my wife to take advantage of her pregnancy to get me to do things for her. It's in the same tongue-in-cheek verve that I wrote my previous blog. Let me make it clear once again. I love my wife and I am damn ecstatic that she is pregnant, even with the extra baggage and everything. Enough about it tho.
I just hope my kids don't turn out like some of the kids I see and hear tho. I have a lot of friends who are teachers as I'm sure many Singaporeans do. And many of these teachers are family people themselves, with their own brood. One of these teacher friend of mine was complaining to me about how uncouth some of the students are nowadays. Their lack of sensitivity towards others and their lack of respect towards their teachers are appalling.
I have always believed that we are how we are brought up to be, nurture plays a far more important role than nature. Nurture moulds the mind and psyche while nature defines what we look like and where our strengths would be. If the nurture is lacking, no amount of natural intuition will make up for that lack of proper nurturing. I was really taken aback after reading her blog with regards to what her student mocked her with through his instant messenger. While such immaturity and insensitivity was to be expected given his broken home and lack of fatherly figure, the lackadaisical and nonchalant attitude of his elder cousin towards my friend's protestations about him was even more deplorable, especially considering that she is a teacher herself. If a close family member who happens to be a teacher just wouldn't care, who else would?
I respect the teachers who have persevered through the years to mould our nation. I really do. The kind of things they have to endure, especially from the worst amongst us, is not something many of us have the stomach for. Which is why I am sorry to hear this sort of things happening to the teachers I know. My friend just went thru a torrid and heart-wrenching time and for her student to mock her was totally uncalled-for. And I could understand why she felt the way she did. If it were me, I might just have been pushed over the edge.
Thankfully, I'm not a teacher.
Monday, April 30, 2007
A Bush and a swim
Been a while since I said anything with regards to current affairs. OK, I'm not the world expert on such things but I'm still entitled to my opinions once in a while. I think the current big news circulating is about how Bush has become embattled in his own country since the revelations that they screwed up big time over the allegations that the late Iraqi dictator , Saddam Hussein, was on his way to procuring weapons of mass destruction.
I have always felt strongly about Bush Jr. Somehow, I have the feeling that there are hidden agenda behind the so-called Liberation of Iraq. It's like there is unfinished business from Bush Sr's tenure in the hot seat. Even when faced with mounting pressure from his home fans, it seems like he is doing a Saddam now - defiance in the face of adversity.
Talking about adversity, the recent spate of drownings here have given cause to the calls for lifeguards to be stationed on our pristine beaches. Well, in all honesty, why bother? No, it's not because I'm a depraved and sadistic looney-bin who would rather see more people dead. Rather, it's a bit of an over-reaction to be calling for lifeguards to patrol that stretch. I mean, how many lifeguards are required to patrol the beaches? While I share the sadness and grief of those who lost, such calls border on idiocy. They can't possibly cover the whole stretch.
And what happens if a drowning occurs at one end of the beach while the lifeguards are on their rounds at the other end of the beach? Should we pin the blame on the ineffective lifeguards. East Coast Park is one long stretch of beach. Pity the guards patrolling that stretch. I just hope that if they do implement this, their uniforms would replicate those we saw on Baywatch. And I'm referring to the Pamela Anderson suits, not David Hasselhoff. I'd avoid ECP like a plague if I ever see or hear of any David Hasselhoff wannabes.
While it is sad and avoidable, such accident will continue to happen as long as there is that adventurous streak in us all. And while it is lamentable, it does not bear any merit to start an over-reaction like calling for lifeguards to be stationed permanently.
I have always felt strongly about Bush Jr. Somehow, I have the feeling that there are hidden agenda behind the so-called Liberation of Iraq. It's like there is unfinished business from Bush Sr's tenure in the hot seat. Even when faced with mounting pressure from his home fans, it seems like he is doing a Saddam now - defiance in the face of adversity.
Talking about adversity, the recent spate of drownings here have given cause to the calls for lifeguards to be stationed on our pristine beaches. Well, in all honesty, why bother? No, it's not because I'm a depraved and sadistic looney-bin who would rather see more people dead. Rather, it's a bit of an over-reaction to be calling for lifeguards to patrol that stretch. I mean, how many lifeguards are required to patrol the beaches? While I share the sadness and grief of those who lost, such calls border on idiocy. They can't possibly cover the whole stretch.
And what happens if a drowning occurs at one end of the beach while the lifeguards are on their rounds at the other end of the beach? Should we pin the blame on the ineffective lifeguards. East Coast Park is one long stretch of beach. Pity the guards patrolling that stretch. I just hope that if they do implement this, their uniforms would replicate those we saw on Baywatch. And I'm referring to the Pamela Anderson suits, not David Hasselhoff. I'd avoid ECP like a plague if I ever see or hear of any David Hasselhoff wannabes.
While it is sad and avoidable, such accident will continue to happen as long as there is that adventurous streak in us all. And while it is lamentable, it does not bear any merit to start an over-reaction like calling for lifeguards to be stationed permanently.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
5 weeks since
5 weeks on and I'm chugging along. Life's been pretty sedentary, as it's always been - which only serves to expand my waistline some more. Note to self; time to dust off the running shoes.
Who am I kidding??
I haven't been leading a healthy lifestyle. The last time I really exercised was during my NS. In the 7 years since I finished my NS, I have yet to touch a ball, and I mean football, you yellow-minded freak! Admittedly, there were the half-hearted attempts at starting jogging, but it stopped before it ever got going. Yeah, I know it's not healthy and every second I delay, the closer I get to death. That's the thing that bothers me. Every now and then we read about people dying while exercising or doing some sports and they are relatively fitter than I am. So, I figured that if people go through all that trouble to exercise to stay slim and keep fit, only to die young, I might as well stay fat all the rest of my life and enjoy my remaining time here.
Then it happened.
Yeap, my wife got pregnant. Congratulatory messages aside, I started to feel that added responsibility. A responsibility to live as long as could to watch my unborn child grow up. That got me thinking and realising that a change has to take place in my life - for the good of my family. OK, back to the congratulatory messages. No doubt I'm grateful to my friends who have made the effort to congratulate me. One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.
Honestly though, it's been a tough few weeks for both of us getting used to being parents-to-be. I mean, it's one thing loving to play with babies but it's a whole different thing to taking care of one. I, for one, while excited, am facing it with silent trepidation. It's like your first day in a new job. Insecurity is something that hangs over you like a dark cloud. You just can't seem to shake it off on that first day. Being married and enjoying 3.5 years without added responsibility, this happy event has begun to effect some expected changes on me.
I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon. A friend commented that I am more matured and more patient in my outlook of life than, perhaps, she expected me to be. Right now, I can't be bothered about maturity, I just hope her observation about my patience is not skewed. Otherwise, I'm in pretty deep shit.
Who am I kidding??
I haven't been leading a healthy lifestyle. The last time I really exercised was during my NS. In the 7 years since I finished my NS, I have yet to touch a ball, and I mean football, you yellow-minded freak! Admittedly, there were the half-hearted attempts at starting jogging, but it stopped before it ever got going. Yeah, I know it's not healthy and every second I delay, the closer I get to death. That's the thing that bothers me. Every now and then we read about people dying while exercising or doing some sports and they are relatively fitter than I am. So, I figured that if people go through all that trouble to exercise to stay slim and keep fit, only to die young, I might as well stay fat all the rest of my life and enjoy my remaining time here.
Then it happened.
Yeap, my wife got pregnant. Congratulatory messages aside, I started to feel that added responsibility. A responsibility to live as long as could to watch my unborn child grow up. That got me thinking and realising that a change has to take place in my life - for the good of my family. OK, back to the congratulatory messages. No doubt I'm grateful to my friends who have made the effort to congratulate me. One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.
Honestly though, it's been a tough few weeks for both of us getting used to being parents-to-be. I mean, it's one thing loving to play with babies but it's a whole different thing to taking care of one. I, for one, while excited, am facing it with silent trepidation. It's like your first day in a new job. Insecurity is something that hangs over you like a dark cloud. You just can't seem to shake it off on that first day. Being married and enjoying 3.5 years without added responsibility, this happy event has begun to effect some expected changes on me.
I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon. A friend commented that I am more matured and more patient in my outlook of life than, perhaps, she expected me to be. Right now, I can't be bothered about maturity, I just hope her observation about my patience is not skewed. Otherwise, I'm in pretty deep shit.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
3 months on
Been 3 months since I last said something here. My longest hiatus yet. It's not that I have lost the verve to blog or post my views, it's just that too much has been going on around me and involving me that I have no idea what's important anymore.
Ok, that sounds far-fetched and quite improbable that so much revolves around me but it's true. To sum it all up, the 3 months was a cliched roller-coaster ride for me. I went from being somewhat-content to being down in the dumpster to being suddenly jolted into euphoric joy. Confused? Somewhere in those 3 months, so was I.
When I first started blogging, a lot of it was my anger and frustration at how my married life was panning out. And it showed. The blog was my way of letting her know how I felt and was a bridge of sorts in the breakdown of communications that happened back then. And boy, did I vent my frustrations. Those who did read it, will know exactly what I mean. Put it simply, I was close to the edge and the only thing that held me back was my love for her and my determination to work things out.
A year on, the whole situation played itself all over again. And that, too, after my parents left for their Haj. It was an understatement to say my mind was befuddled and everything around me was murky. Falling into the depths of despair, walking out was not just a feasible option, it seemed like a really good option then. For weeks, I was on the verge and constantly contemplating it. Thankfully, a friend stuck out the proverbial hand and helped me realise that I have lost track of I had been preaching all along. Love is a gift. You give all that you have without any expectation that your gifts will be reciprocated.
Let's just say I did work it out and things are looking every bit rosier. In fact, it's so rosy, there might be 3 of us before the year is out. Let's hope and pray it happens. (I think that was me releasing my pent-up frustrations)
It's funny how cliched life can get. As much as we think our life has hit the abyss and we feel like we are scraping the bottom of the barrel, it might not be as bad as we thought it was. For all you know the barrel might be overturned in a splitsecond and you are out of the rut. Yeap, the last 3 months were emotional to say the least, but I have realised that no matter how bad things may seem, there's always light at the end of the cliched tunnel.
Ok, that sounds far-fetched and quite improbable that so much revolves around me but it's true. To sum it all up, the 3 months was a cliched roller-coaster ride for me. I went from being somewhat-content to being down in the dumpster to being suddenly jolted into euphoric joy. Confused? Somewhere in those 3 months, so was I.
When I first started blogging, a lot of it was my anger and frustration at how my married life was panning out. And it showed. The blog was my way of letting her know how I felt and was a bridge of sorts in the breakdown of communications that happened back then. And boy, did I vent my frustrations. Those who did read it, will know exactly what I mean. Put it simply, I was close to the edge and the only thing that held me back was my love for her and my determination to work things out.
A year on, the whole situation played itself all over again. And that, too, after my parents left for their Haj. It was an understatement to say my mind was befuddled and everything around me was murky. Falling into the depths of despair, walking out was not just a feasible option, it seemed like a really good option then. For weeks, I was on the verge and constantly contemplating it. Thankfully, a friend stuck out the proverbial hand and helped me realise that I have lost track of I had been preaching all along. Love is a gift. You give all that you have without any expectation that your gifts will be reciprocated.
Let's just say I did work it out and things are looking every bit rosier. In fact, it's so rosy, there might be 3 of us before the year is out. Let's hope and pray it happens. (I think that was me releasing my pent-up frustrations)
It's funny how cliched life can get. As much as we think our life has hit the abyss and we feel like we are scraping the bottom of the barrel, it might not be as bad as we thought it was. For all you know the barrel might be overturned in a splitsecond and you are out of the rut. Yeap, the last 3 months were emotional to say the least, but I have realised that no matter how bad things may seem, there's always light at the end of the cliched tunnel.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Rain rain and more rain
The overcast sky blocked out rays of sunlight; the earth sodden with tears from the sky and the winds were howling with dangerous intent. No, it's not a line from a novel, I don't think so anyway. That was the scene from yesterday night till this morning all over Singapore.
Yeap, it has been raining almost incessantly since last night with almost no dry ground in all of Singapore. It' s pretty normal around this time of year with the monsoon season in full swing. On the way to work this morning, the rain was especially heavy at Woodlands and Ang Mo Kio that no cars dared to breach 100kmh, though a Nissan Sunny did try to cut me off at Lentor Avenue. No, I'm not about to launch into another tirade on errant drivers.
The rains did cause some flash floods around the island and countless water ponding. Think I counted 10 on my route just now. They are particularly dangerous. The heavy rains already cut down visibility, and the pools of water are almost impossible to see. Running over one, even at 50kmh, would cause small cars to wobble, which I experienced first hand. Almost lost control of the car for while there. Thank god I took the advice of my friends and chnaged the stock tyres to something with a little more bite.
I'm pretty sure that the rain is gonna last the whole day and some flooding is to be expected. According to the Met Service, it's gonna be a wet few days to come. I think I should start saving up for a dinghy soon because there are reports that some parts of Malaysia are already under water and even some parts of Singapore though information is rather sketchy.
Let's see what happens next, shall we?
Yeap, it has been raining almost incessantly since last night with almost no dry ground in all of Singapore. It' s pretty normal around this time of year with the monsoon season in full swing. On the way to work this morning, the rain was especially heavy at Woodlands and Ang Mo Kio that no cars dared to breach 100kmh, though a Nissan Sunny did try to cut me off at Lentor Avenue. No, I'm not about to launch into another tirade on errant drivers.
The rains did cause some flash floods around the island and countless water ponding. Think I counted 10 on my route just now. They are particularly dangerous. The heavy rains already cut down visibility, and the pools of water are almost impossible to see. Running over one, even at 50kmh, would cause small cars to wobble, which I experienced first hand. Almost lost control of the car for while there. Thank god I took the advice of my friends and chnaged the stock tyres to something with a little more bite.
I'm pretty sure that the rain is gonna last the whole day and some flooding is to be expected. According to the Met Service, it's gonna be a wet few days to come. I think I should start saving up for a dinghy soon because there are reports that some parts of Malaysia are already under water and even some parts of Singapore though information is rather sketchy.
Let's see what happens next, shall we?
Monday, December 18, 2006
Putting a price on sporting glory
The Asian Games are over. I honestly didn't follow the whole sporting event, except for the badminton singles final match between Taufik Hidayat and Lin Dan. That was a cracker.
Our athletes did well, in fact, it was their biggest ever showing at the Asiads. 8 gold medals. It sounds like a big achievement, but when compared to China's gold medal haul, it's a pittance. Then again, compared to China's geography and population sizes, we are just a speck of dust. That explains the gulf in sporting excellence. Our sailors came back with more than half the gold and congratulations are in order for them for a job well done. Now, setting their sights higher, they are gunning for Olympic medals. All the best to them.
While I do follow sports, especially football, I'm not much of a Games fanatic. Be it SEA Games, Asian Games or Olympics, I've never been one to follow closely, apart from headline skimming. I mean while I love football, I don't give a damn about hockey and while I enjoy badminton, I don't care what happens in volleyball. Quite honestly, I couldn't care less if Singapore came home top of the medal standings or dead last, I only want to know what happened in the marquee events, like the 100m sprint or the football finals.
There's just too much going on in and around the Games to make ignite the interest within me. I mean, medal standing does nothing other than to boost national pride. Looking at it from a layman, what's the use of spending millions of dollars on a few sportsman hoping that they'd bring back gold medals only to reward them some more. Think about it. They spend insane amounts of money to send these elite athletes to overseas tournaments and training stints and at the end of the day, pay them some more when they bring glory to the nation? It's insane isn't it?
The value of sporting achievement and excellence has been eroded to me. In the years of Fandi Ahmad, Ang Peng Siong and Junie Sng, I doubt that money was an issue. It was more of their passion for their sport of choice and the love for their country which drove them to excel. It was so simple back then, they had the talent, they had the drive and they had the passion. Nowadays, it's what-do-I-get-in-return-for-committing-my talent-to-the-nation mindset that rules. The payout that the athletes receive for bringing back gold medals could well feed many a family for a whole year.
While I can't deny that the athletes deserve some form of recognition for their services, time, sweat and toil, it's absurd to think that they deserve hundreds of thousands of dollars after the millions spent on their athletic development. I mean, I doubt Ang Peng Siong ever got $250,000 for winning Asian Games Gold or setting the fastest 50m freestyle time in the world in 1982. He would have gotten at least $175,000 for the Asian Gold had the SNOC implemented the award back in 1982. He might even had gotten $1 million if the 50m was included as an Olympic event in 1984. However, I doubt all that meant anything to him then.
Like I mentioned before, while I do agree with recognition being given where it's due, I'm not quite in agreement with putting a financial value to each achievement. Then again, words of thanks are never enough nowadays.
Our athletes did well, in fact, it was their biggest ever showing at the Asiads. 8 gold medals. It sounds like a big achievement, but when compared to China's gold medal haul, it's a pittance. Then again, compared to China's geography and population sizes, we are just a speck of dust. That explains the gulf in sporting excellence. Our sailors came back with more than half the gold and congratulations are in order for them for a job well done. Now, setting their sights higher, they are gunning for Olympic medals. All the best to them.
While I do follow sports, especially football, I'm not much of a Games fanatic. Be it SEA Games, Asian Games or Olympics, I've never been one to follow closely, apart from headline skimming. I mean while I love football, I don't give a damn about hockey and while I enjoy badminton, I don't care what happens in volleyball. Quite honestly, I couldn't care less if Singapore came home top of the medal standings or dead last, I only want to know what happened in the marquee events, like the 100m sprint or the football finals.
There's just too much going on in and around the Games to make ignite the interest within me. I mean, medal standing does nothing other than to boost national pride. Looking at it from a layman, what's the use of spending millions of dollars on a few sportsman hoping that they'd bring back gold medals only to reward them some more. Think about it. They spend insane amounts of money to send these elite athletes to overseas tournaments and training stints and at the end of the day, pay them some more when they bring glory to the nation? It's insane isn't it?
The value of sporting achievement and excellence has been eroded to me. In the years of Fandi Ahmad, Ang Peng Siong and Junie Sng, I doubt that money was an issue. It was more of their passion for their sport of choice and the love for their country which drove them to excel. It was so simple back then, they had the talent, they had the drive and they had the passion. Nowadays, it's what-do-I-get-in-return-for-committing-my talent-to-the-nation mindset that rules. The payout that the athletes receive for bringing back gold medals could well feed many a family for a whole year.
While I can't deny that the athletes deserve some form of recognition for their services, time, sweat and toil, it's absurd to think that they deserve hundreds of thousands of dollars after the millions spent on their athletic development. I mean, I doubt Ang Peng Siong ever got $250,000 for winning Asian Games Gold or setting the fastest 50m freestyle time in the world in 1982. He would have gotten at least $175,000 for the Asian Gold had the SNOC implemented the award back in 1982. He might even had gotten $1 million if the 50m was included as an Olympic event in 1984. However, I doubt all that meant anything to him then.
Like I mentioned before, while I do agree with recognition being given where it's due, I'm not quite in agreement with putting a financial value to each achievement. Then again, words of thanks are never enough nowadays.
Monday, December 11, 2006
My apathy
I remember somewhere in August when I posted something about the Malay community initiative to raise awareness through the Lebih Sexy, Katakan Tidak campaign. That was roughly around the time the campaign was launched. Fairly recently, a press release stated that the campaign has been labelled a success for the awareness it has created.
Personally, I think it's all just wayang. Granted that the campaign is targetted to the youths who are, in a way, uncorrupted as yet, to create that awareness that it ain't cool to be pregnant. Well, that would work if the social framework within which the youths live in. It's always the environment in which we are brought up in that moulds us into the person we are today, though there are the occasional exceptions. If the correct values are instilled into the youths from a young age, there wouldn't be a social problem now would there?
A friend highlighted to me about a blog which she read some time ago where the author, a Malay lady, disses another Malay lady blogger for her shamelessness in blogging about her drinking sessions. As most Malays are Muslims, it's fair to assume that she did commit a sin as drinking is strictly forbidden in Islam, as is pre-marital sex. However, when looking at the author's - the one doing the dissing - profile, I saw pictures of her frolicking with her husband and son, only clad in a bikini, which is also forbidden in Islam.
When highlighted of the fact, she was adamant that there's nothing wrong with wearing a bikini. Herein lies the irony. Here she was dissing someone else of shamelessness while failing to see that she was shameless in her own right. Now, I'm not about to start dissing anyone here, but there's the problem with our Malay community. We try so hard to see the failures of others but fail to see our own failures. While we look upon with disgust at the youths indulging themselves with such vices, we fail to see that we ourselves indulge in other vices. While there is nothing wrong in pointing out the failings of others, we have to be aware of our own shortcomings and mistakes and not just paper over them.
Quite honestly, I do have friends who indulge in such excesses. And I couldn't care less. I have friends who also posted about their wild lives, the parties they were at, the beaches they frolicked in and the drinks they have drunk. While I think it is wrong for them to indulge, I can't force my own beliefs on them. As friends, and as human beings, we are all subjected to the same emotions and moments of weakness, so why should we question what they do?
Apathy? Maybe.
Sometimes it's better to live with the apathy than to poke our noses to where it does not belong. So what if he/she decides to drink their sorrows away or even for the pleasure? So what if he is a womaniser and she is the village bicycle? In the end, it's between them and the Almighty. Like I said before, it's best if we live our lives as we see fit in the hope that we have lived a good life with little regrets and in the knowledge we lived as it has been ordained by Him.
Why bother about what others are doing wrong when we should worry about ourselves and that those closest to us, who share our beliefs, live their lives according to those shared beliefs?
Personally, I think it's all just wayang. Granted that the campaign is targetted to the youths who are, in a way, uncorrupted as yet, to create that awareness that it ain't cool to be pregnant. Well, that would work if the social framework within which the youths live in. It's always the environment in which we are brought up in that moulds us into the person we are today, though there are the occasional exceptions. If the correct values are instilled into the youths from a young age, there wouldn't be a social problem now would there?
A friend highlighted to me about a blog which she read some time ago where the author, a Malay lady, disses another Malay lady blogger for her shamelessness in blogging about her drinking sessions. As most Malays are Muslims, it's fair to assume that she did commit a sin as drinking is strictly forbidden in Islam, as is pre-marital sex. However, when looking at the author's - the one doing the dissing - profile, I saw pictures of her frolicking with her husband and son, only clad in a bikini, which is also forbidden in Islam.
When highlighted of the fact, she was adamant that there's nothing wrong with wearing a bikini. Herein lies the irony. Here she was dissing someone else of shamelessness while failing to see that she was shameless in her own right. Now, I'm not about to start dissing anyone here, but there's the problem with our Malay community. We try so hard to see the failures of others but fail to see our own failures. While we look upon with disgust at the youths indulging themselves with such vices, we fail to see that we ourselves indulge in other vices. While there is nothing wrong in pointing out the failings of others, we have to be aware of our own shortcomings and mistakes and not just paper over them.
Quite honestly, I do have friends who indulge in such excesses. And I couldn't care less. I have friends who also posted about their wild lives, the parties they were at, the beaches they frolicked in and the drinks they have drunk. While I think it is wrong for them to indulge, I can't force my own beliefs on them. As friends, and as human beings, we are all subjected to the same emotions and moments of weakness, so why should we question what they do?
Apathy? Maybe.
Sometimes it's better to live with the apathy than to poke our noses to where it does not belong. So what if he/she decides to drink their sorrows away or even for the pleasure? So what if he is a womaniser and she is the village bicycle? In the end, it's between them and the Almighty. Like I said before, it's best if we live our lives as we see fit in the hope that we have lived a good life with little regrets and in the knowledge we lived as it has been ordained by Him.
Why bother about what others are doing wrong when we should worry about ourselves and that those closest to us, who share our beliefs, live their lives according to those shared beliefs?
Friday, December 08, 2006
Acceptance is a commodity
I was reading the news about Kelantan's plans to introduce a state law banning skimpy clothings for all and the Federal Government's opposition to it fearing racial tensions may yet be reignited. Funny isn't it?
Around the world, we have this problem, failure to accept one another's differences. How else do you explain racial segregation, racial tensions, genocides and the Holocaust?
Thankfully, most of us around the world are educated enough to know that life itself transcends any physical, emotional or psychological barrier we may have inadvertantly placed. I've always believed that nurture takes precedence or nature. I mean, even if your parents were convicted criminals and habitual drug addicts, it doesn't mean you'd turn out the same way if you've had the privilege of being raised to be a good person. How we turn out are defined by the people around us and the impacts each has had in our lives.
I was one of those who grew up in a family who while religious, didn't quite really embrace the concept of Love Thy Neighbour. In fact, our family were quite selective in befriending our neighbours. While we were close to our Malay neighbours, we weren't close at all to our Chinese or Indian ones. As a matter of fact, I knew only 1 chinese neighbour in my old unit. Growing up, I used to hear my parents, aunts and uncles talk about anyone who is Malay as Melayu kita while the other races were thought of as a lesser race. Growing up, amongst my friends, it was the same, there were called bangsa dia, also with an equal measure of disdain.
The unknown has always evoked a fear within us. Looking around us we see people of different races, different religions, different beliefs to what we believe. In other words, those who share our belief, religion and race are considered as one of us. Because of that fear or perhaps, to a certain extent, refusal to accept, we cast those who are not one of us as outsiders. Think of it, how many amongst us have at one point felt a slight disdain whenever we see one of us marry outside our race, or at least thought to ourselves, aren't there enough Malay men left in the world that she had to marry an Ang Moh, or any other race for that matter?
In between our best efforts to forge a smile while extending our best wishes to the bride and groom and trying to feel happy for the bride and groom, we do at times feel that feeling of disdain whenever an interracial marriage takes place. I think it's pre-programmed in us that we question non-conformity. However, in this day an age where primary education is compulsory, it is thought that conformity to age-old values which no longer hold as much importance as it once did. Where mothers and fathers used to disown daughters for marrying outside their race, it is now very much acceptable though not really encouraged.
To accept someone into our lives takes a lot of trust, and probably, that distrust still lies deep in our Malay souls that stops us from embracing someone of a different race fully and unconditionally. Thankfully for us, Singaporeans, Malay Singaporeans specifically, our government has always encouraged multiracialism. However, deep within us the feeling of racial supremacy is always there, evident in the way we think of other races. We all think that our race is better, genetically, morally and socially. I mean, how many amongst us have close friends of another race? Not that many I suspect.
Does that equate to us being racist or at least, selective racists? I think not and I hope no one comes to that conclusion. You see, that's the thing I find funny. While we expound the concept of multiracialism and one society, we find it hard to accept differences amongst us.
Around the world, we have this problem, failure to accept one another's differences. How else do you explain racial segregation, racial tensions, genocides and the Holocaust?
Thankfully, most of us around the world are educated enough to know that life itself transcends any physical, emotional or psychological barrier we may have inadvertantly placed. I've always believed that nurture takes precedence or nature. I mean, even if your parents were convicted criminals and habitual drug addicts, it doesn't mean you'd turn out the same way if you've had the privilege of being raised to be a good person. How we turn out are defined by the people around us and the impacts each has had in our lives.
I was one of those who grew up in a family who while religious, didn't quite really embrace the concept of Love Thy Neighbour. In fact, our family were quite selective in befriending our neighbours. While we were close to our Malay neighbours, we weren't close at all to our Chinese or Indian ones. As a matter of fact, I knew only 1 chinese neighbour in my old unit. Growing up, I used to hear my parents, aunts and uncles talk about anyone who is Malay as Melayu kita while the other races were thought of as a lesser race. Growing up, amongst my friends, it was the same, there were called bangsa dia, also with an equal measure of disdain.
The unknown has always evoked a fear within us. Looking around us we see people of different races, different religions, different beliefs to what we believe. In other words, those who share our belief, religion and race are considered as one of us. Because of that fear or perhaps, to a certain extent, refusal to accept, we cast those who are not one of us as outsiders. Think of it, how many amongst us have at one point felt a slight disdain whenever we see one of us marry outside our race, or at least thought to ourselves, aren't there enough Malay men left in the world that she had to marry an Ang Moh, or any other race for that matter?
In between our best efforts to forge a smile while extending our best wishes to the bride and groom and trying to feel happy for the bride and groom, we do at times feel that feeling of disdain whenever an interracial marriage takes place. I think it's pre-programmed in us that we question non-conformity. However, in this day an age where primary education is compulsory, it is thought that conformity to age-old values which no longer hold as much importance as it once did. Where mothers and fathers used to disown daughters for marrying outside their race, it is now very much acceptable though not really encouraged.
To accept someone into our lives takes a lot of trust, and probably, that distrust still lies deep in our Malay souls that stops us from embracing someone of a different race fully and unconditionally. Thankfully for us, Singaporeans, Malay Singaporeans specifically, our government has always encouraged multiracialism. However, deep within us the feeling of racial supremacy is always there, evident in the way we think of other races. We all think that our race is better, genetically, morally and socially. I mean, how many amongst us have close friends of another race? Not that many I suspect.
Does that equate to us being racist or at least, selective racists? I think not and I hope no one comes to that conclusion. You see, that's the thing I find funny. While we expound the concept of multiracialism and one society, we find it hard to accept differences amongst us.
Monday, December 04, 2006
My feeble attempt to understand love's logic
I read a post one of my friends posted in his blog sometime back and it has stayed etched in my mind eversince. It was an honest man's thoughts on his family and his love for them. The one thing that kept replaying back in my mind ever since reading that post was the unconditionality of love.
That set me thinking. Is anything in life unconditional?
Very often, we see an agreement between 2 parties with certain conditions appended. When Japan accepted unconditional surrender in September 1945, it was with the proviso that the Emperor remains in his status quo. When Malaysia Accepted Singapore into its federation, it was with the proviso that neither involves themselves in the other's internal politics. However, love is not an agreement. It is a feeling. Therefore, it is not subjected to the same logic that defines everything else, which is why love is illogical. It makes us say and do things we would normally and rationally avoid.
A lot of times I have been asked, "How do you know she's the one?" The beauty of it is you don't. You just make a decision based on your gut feeling and a little common sense too. The rest you leave to God. The feeling of being in love is something you can't miss and something we all can't runaway from. It's there for all to see. I see it in my wife's eyes all the time. It's a feeling that is evoked when you are with that someone. You don't know if he or she is the one but you don't really care as it seems time has slowed to a crawl whenever you are with the person. We all want love. Yet at the same time, we fear love, with all the trepidation that comes with that fear.
It's not so much a phobia as it is a lack of understanding. As much as we want love, we fear all the emotions that accompany it and the knowledge that, at some point, we are bound to get hurt by that love. We want that loving feeling to be unconditional, ie, not expecting anything in return for what we have sacrificed for that person. Is that entirely possible? The notion of unconditionality is something we all want but not many are willing to give, unless the conditions are right. How's that work?
While looking for love, we want the other party to be able to accept us as we are, to be able to accept all our character flaws, yet, are we able to do the same and put our loved ones as a priority in our lives, ahead of evrything else life has to offer? From time to time, we read of heart warming stories of true love happening around us such as the email I received the other day regarding the Hoyts. Then again, that is the love of a father to his physically-disabled child. How about love between a guy and a girl, that's different, right? Not entirely, who could forget the close-to-home story of Pierre Png giving up one of his kidneys to his then-fiancee, Andrea D'Cruz?
True love? Perhaps.
Unconditional love? Definitely.
There are some couples who bicker at every little thing they perceive to be wrong. You are not doing enough for this relationship to work! What have you done for me lately? I'm doing all the work in making this relationship work! These are just some of the phrases that can be heard in the arguments of some couples. Each wanting to stamp his/her own authority and to make sure that they get as much as they give. Quite honestly, being in love is always about giving, there's no give-and-take here. Whatever you receive in return should be viewed as a bonus, a token of the other's appreciation for your love.
What, then, if you receive nothing in return? My answer would be to ask yourself if that is enough for you and if you love the other person enough not to ask for anything in return. If you really are in love, chances are it wouldn't matter! I'd like to think I've reached that pinnacle of my love story with my wife, though I know in love, you should always be looking to reach the peak without actually reaching it.
Make any sense? Like I said, it's my feeble attempt.
That set me thinking. Is anything in life unconditional?
Very often, we see an agreement between 2 parties with certain conditions appended. When Japan accepted unconditional surrender in September 1945, it was with the proviso that the Emperor remains in his status quo. When Malaysia Accepted Singapore into its federation, it was with the proviso that neither involves themselves in the other's internal politics. However, love is not an agreement. It is a feeling. Therefore, it is not subjected to the same logic that defines everything else, which is why love is illogical. It makes us say and do things we would normally and rationally avoid.
A lot of times I have been asked, "How do you know she's the one?" The beauty of it is you don't. You just make a decision based on your gut feeling and a little common sense too. The rest you leave to God. The feeling of being in love is something you can't miss and something we all can't runaway from. It's there for all to see. I see it in my wife's eyes all the time. It's a feeling that is evoked when you are with that someone. You don't know if he or she is the one but you don't really care as it seems time has slowed to a crawl whenever you are with the person. We all want love. Yet at the same time, we fear love, with all the trepidation that comes with that fear.
It's not so much a phobia as it is a lack of understanding. As much as we want love, we fear all the emotions that accompany it and the knowledge that, at some point, we are bound to get hurt by that love. We want that loving feeling to be unconditional, ie, not expecting anything in return for what we have sacrificed for that person. Is that entirely possible? The notion of unconditionality is something we all want but not many are willing to give, unless the conditions are right. How's that work?
While looking for love, we want the other party to be able to accept us as we are, to be able to accept all our character flaws, yet, are we able to do the same and put our loved ones as a priority in our lives, ahead of evrything else life has to offer? From time to time, we read of heart warming stories of true love happening around us such as the email I received the other day regarding the Hoyts. Then again, that is the love of a father to his physically-disabled child. How about love between a guy and a girl, that's different, right? Not entirely, who could forget the close-to-home story of Pierre Png giving up one of his kidneys to his then-fiancee, Andrea D'Cruz?
True love? Perhaps.
Unconditional love? Definitely.
There are some couples who bicker at every little thing they perceive to be wrong. You are not doing enough for this relationship to work! What have you done for me lately? I'm doing all the work in making this relationship work! These are just some of the phrases that can be heard in the arguments of some couples. Each wanting to stamp his/her own authority and to make sure that they get as much as they give. Quite honestly, being in love is always about giving, there's no give-and-take here. Whatever you receive in return should be viewed as a bonus, a token of the other's appreciation for your love.
What, then, if you receive nothing in return? My answer would be to ask yourself if that is enough for you and if you love the other person enough not to ask for anything in return. If you really are in love, chances are it wouldn't matter! I'd like to think I've reached that pinnacle of my love story with my wife, though I know in love, you should always be looking to reach the peak without actually reaching it.
Make any sense? Like I said, it's my feeble attempt.
Monday, October 30, 2006
It's the kids!!!!!
In my last post, I did say something about this Raya being exceptionally dull. and I couldn't find a reason for it. I think, I found the answer over the weekend. I think the key to having a great Raya is kids! No, it's not another post about me and kids, or lack thereof - that bothers me not!
Here's the thing. My aunt came over, the very same one whose son I asked about his coming of age, with her family and my parents, siblings and sis-in-law were there too on Sunday. From my house, we split up as my mom and dad had their own agenda, my sister, brother and sis-in-law following them, my uncle and aunt had theirs while me and my wife had ours. While they were there, the festive mood within me kicked in. It's not just that the family was there, it was the kids who livened up the mood with their antics. Ask any newbie parents and they'd say the same thing. Hari Raya before having kids and after are a lot different.
After we went our separate ways from my home, I went to the homes of 2 of my paternal aunts whom I had made appointments with prior to that. Thereafter we met up with the whole family again at my younger brother's house in Punggol. At my 4th aunt's place in Tampines, it was just me, my wife and my aunt having a chat while her husband was in the bathtub having just came home from work. No kids around - her eldest daughter, now a beautiful woman of 23, is studying in the US, her second son was in camp - doing his duty, while her youngest son was out with friends. The mood? Sombre.
At my 5th aunt's place, it was much better. All 4 of her kids were in, though 1 was sleeping - conserving his energy for his trip back to Pulau Tekong. There were some other extended family members around as well as she was having an open house. It was so much livelier there than at my 4th aunt's place with kids making a din with their laughter and constant screaming. It has to be the kids making all the noise rite? Cos if it were the adults, something must have gone wrong!
From my brother's place in Punggol, my wife and I drove back to my in-laws to bring her mom to visit my wife's side of the family. My BIL, SIL and MIL with 3 kids crammed into my tiny car and off we went. This time the festive mood was there throughout the time, in stark contrast to the trips my wife and I took on our own. In all 3 houses we went, the baby of the bunch, my youngest nephew, 2 years old and growing, was the biggest noise maker with his antics. Though terrified of me, due in large part to my inculcation of a climate of fear surrounding me, he still was lively.
I have always believed that someone in the family must be the bad guy to keep the children in check - it just had to be me this time. My youngest paternal aunt was the same with me. That aside, growing up, I've heard some parents say that Hari Raya is all about the kids, it's not so much for the parents to celebrate as it is for the kids. I mean the parents don't get the green packets, the kids do. What joy would there be in this world without the kids? I couldn't agree more.
Just don't ask me where mine are!
Here's the thing. My aunt came over, the very same one whose son I asked about his coming of age, with her family and my parents, siblings and sis-in-law were there too on Sunday. From my house, we split up as my mom and dad had their own agenda, my sister, brother and sis-in-law following them, my uncle and aunt had theirs while me and my wife had ours. While they were there, the festive mood within me kicked in. It's not just that the family was there, it was the kids who livened up the mood with their antics. Ask any newbie parents and they'd say the same thing. Hari Raya before having kids and after are a lot different.
After we went our separate ways from my home, I went to the homes of 2 of my paternal aunts whom I had made appointments with prior to that. Thereafter we met up with the whole family again at my younger brother's house in Punggol. At my 4th aunt's place in Tampines, it was just me, my wife and my aunt having a chat while her husband was in the bathtub having just came home from work. No kids around - her eldest daughter, now a beautiful woman of 23, is studying in the US, her second son was in camp - doing his duty, while her youngest son was out with friends. The mood? Sombre.
At my 5th aunt's place, it was much better. All 4 of her kids were in, though 1 was sleeping - conserving his energy for his trip back to Pulau Tekong. There were some other extended family members around as well as she was having an open house. It was so much livelier there than at my 4th aunt's place with kids making a din with their laughter and constant screaming. It has to be the kids making all the noise rite? Cos if it were the adults, something must have gone wrong!
From my brother's place in Punggol, my wife and I drove back to my in-laws to bring her mom to visit my wife's side of the family. My BIL, SIL and MIL with 3 kids crammed into my tiny car and off we went. This time the festive mood was there throughout the time, in stark contrast to the trips my wife and I took on our own. In all 3 houses we went, the baby of the bunch, my youngest nephew, 2 years old and growing, was the biggest noise maker with his antics. Though terrified of me, due in large part to my inculcation of a climate of fear surrounding me, he still was lively.
I have always believed that someone in the family must be the bad guy to keep the children in check - it just had to be me this time. My youngest paternal aunt was the same with me. That aside, growing up, I've heard some parents say that Hari Raya is all about the kids, it's not so much for the parents to celebrate as it is for the kids. I mean the parents don't get the green packets, the kids do. What joy would there be in this world without the kids? I couldn't agree more.
Just don't ask me where mine are!
Friday, October 27, 2006
A dull Raya and the passage of time
It's Hari Raya + 4.
It doesn't seem like Hari Raya anymore these days. Somehow I feel that the seri is no longer there. Why do I feel this way? Not too sure myself. Friends have been wishing me Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin left, right and center, but somehow, I feel that the spirit of Hari Raya is no longer there. Pardon my lack of enthusiasm but I am one of those pessismists who thinks that the spirit is fading away. Should I attribute it to my growing older, hence, the lack of enthusiasm, or issit the ever smaller number of houses to visit?
I do feel in some sort of limbo. Hari Raya used to be an excuse for the whole family to gather at my late grandma's house and seek forgiveness from one another, as is our tradition. However, since my grandma passed away, there is no longer a focal point for the family. My aunts and uncles, instead, congregate at their respective in-laws. Since both my maternal and paternal grandparents are no longer around, my family just stayed home for a while before visiting the granduncles and grandaunts. And that number is becoming smaller.
Where the first day of Aidilfitri used to be a hectic affair with frenetic scurrying all over the island to visit as many of the elders' houses as possible, it slowed down to a slow crawl nowadays. Where we used to visit more than 15 houses on the first day alone, it'd be an achievement if we could cover 6 now. It's not that there are no more relatives to visit, just that my father being the 2nd eldest amongst his siblings, the younger aunts and uncles would naturally seek him out on the first day, as such, he would be home more than be out and about.
How does that affect me?
Simple, since I have no longer have grandparents to visit, the logical place to go would be my parent's place followed by my immediate aunts and uncles. However, since they would be busy visiting my dad and other family members on their in-laws side, I have very little places to visit, since not many of them will be home. Before, I could just turn up at the doorstep of my late granduncles and grandaunts, I can't do the same now. It has become a yearly game of cat and mouse, catch-me-if-you-can style. Now, I even have to book their times and make appointments.
Now, I only have 2 grandaunts still around and they are the only ones I get to visit on the first day, apart from my parents and in-laws' places. To make matters worse, I have to worry about making appointments, especially since I am married and expected to know who my extended family members are and go to their houses on my own, with my wife, of course. No more following Mom and Dad now. Heck, I'm approaching 30, and if at that age I can't recognise my extended family and visit them on my own, something's wrong with me.
I was joking with a cousin of mine who is now 10 years old - big age gap, huh? I asked him when is he ever going to come of age and his voice will break into the baritone sound like his elder brother who is 13. His mom, my aunt, retorted with a smile on her face, "Eeeehhh, dun wan lah. He wun be as cute as he is now when that happens, I hope that day wun come for a long while!" I understand where she was coming from, with regards to her sone being the baby of the family.
Then it hit me! How I wished time had stopped or we could go back in time. I wouldn't have to worry about whose house to visit - that'd be my parents' job - and my aunt won't have to worry about her son coming of age and losing his adorableness and cuteness. Well, that's the passage of time for us all......
It doesn't seem like Hari Raya anymore these days. Somehow I feel that the seri is no longer there. Why do I feel this way? Not too sure myself. Friends have been wishing me Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin left, right and center, but somehow, I feel that the spirit of Hari Raya is no longer there. Pardon my lack of enthusiasm but I am one of those pessismists who thinks that the spirit is fading away. Should I attribute it to my growing older, hence, the lack of enthusiasm, or issit the ever smaller number of houses to visit?
I do feel in some sort of limbo. Hari Raya used to be an excuse for the whole family to gather at my late grandma's house and seek forgiveness from one another, as is our tradition. However, since my grandma passed away, there is no longer a focal point for the family. My aunts and uncles, instead, congregate at their respective in-laws. Since both my maternal and paternal grandparents are no longer around, my family just stayed home for a while before visiting the granduncles and grandaunts. And that number is becoming smaller.
Where the first day of Aidilfitri used to be a hectic affair with frenetic scurrying all over the island to visit as many of the elders' houses as possible, it slowed down to a slow crawl nowadays. Where we used to visit more than 15 houses on the first day alone, it'd be an achievement if we could cover 6 now. It's not that there are no more relatives to visit, just that my father being the 2nd eldest amongst his siblings, the younger aunts and uncles would naturally seek him out on the first day, as such, he would be home more than be out and about.
How does that affect me?
Simple, since I have no longer have grandparents to visit, the logical place to go would be my parent's place followed by my immediate aunts and uncles. However, since they would be busy visiting my dad and other family members on their in-laws side, I have very little places to visit, since not many of them will be home. Before, I could just turn up at the doorstep of my late granduncles and grandaunts, I can't do the same now. It has become a yearly game of cat and mouse, catch-me-if-you-can style. Now, I even have to book their times and make appointments.
Now, I only have 2 grandaunts still around and they are the only ones I get to visit on the first day, apart from my parents and in-laws' places. To make matters worse, I have to worry about making appointments, especially since I am married and expected to know who my extended family members are and go to their houses on my own, with my wife, of course. No more following Mom and Dad now. Heck, I'm approaching 30, and if at that age I can't recognise my extended family and visit them on my own, something's wrong with me.
I was joking with a cousin of mine who is now 10 years old - big age gap, huh? I asked him when is he ever going to come of age and his voice will break into the baritone sound like his elder brother who is 13. His mom, my aunt, retorted with a smile on her face, "Eeeehhh, dun wan lah. He wun be as cute as he is now when that happens, I hope that day wun come for a long while!" I understand where she was coming from, with regards to her sone being the baby of the family.
Then it hit me! How I wished time had stopped or we could go back in time. I wouldn't have to worry about whose house to visit - that'd be my parents' job - and my aunt won't have to worry about her son coming of age and losing his adorableness and cuteness. Well, that's the passage of time for us all......
Thursday, October 19, 2006
It's Hari Raya!!!!!!!!
It's more than 3 weeks now since we began fasting in Ramadan. For the uninitiated, Ramadan is not a place but a month in the Islamic Calendar. A few more days and it’s AidilFitri. It is a big day for us Muslims, celebrating the arrival of Syawal - again a month not a person - and of our successful completion of fasting in Ramadan, one of the pillars of Islam - for those who fast, of course. Though the ones who do not fast are known to be shamelessly partaking in the festivities - all set with their traditional garb, songkok, piercings and tattoos not withstanding.
In all honesty, fasting is not such a difficult task to do. I personally feel that fasting is easier as compared to the 5 times daily prayers we Muslims are required to perform. This is because, fasting lasts the whole day and you are only required to stop eating and drinking for roughly 14 hours, from 5.30am to 7 pm or thereabouts. It's darn easy once you get used to it. If you can't take it, due to illness or back-breaking work or serving your NS, you are permitted to quit. It's not something that you have to force yourself to the detriment of your health; of course you have to redo it at a later time. Of course, if a lady is having her period, she is exempt, but that is the only exception, other than being crazy or dead.
Prayers, on the other hand are a must and no one has an excuse to skip even one, even if you are sick. There are of course contingencies and ways to pray to adapt to the predicament one is faced with. The only times a Muslim is excused is when either he is mentally-disabled or he is dead. Add to that the requirement of praying at certain times, it makes it a bit more complicated to stick to schedule, knowing you have to work, still it is no excuse. It makes it more perplexing that people would willfully skip a day or even the whole month, since it's not that hard to fast.
Years ago, OK, decades ago, while still in my childhood, the sight or knowledge of anyone who'd knowingly ponteng or skip a day of fasting would be greeted with unabashed teasing and continuous ribbing at his/her failure to complete a day. As we grow older, the youths would tease their friends who'd complete the day by questioning the need to fast. They'd even question the need to pray and the need to believe in God. Strangely enough, most of those who do such questioning are born-Muslims, some has had some form of reigious instruction at an early age.
No doubt about it, where religion stands, there will be those who questions its veracity. I find it appalling that those Muslims who willfully neither fast nor pray actually have the cheek to celebrate a day for which they have no accomplishment of note to celebrate. While Islam maintains a policy of mutual inclusion with other religions, where we celebrate AidilFitri by inviting non-Muslims to join in the festivities, I personally think that it is a good idea to be forcibly exclusive towards those who declare themselves to be Muslims but neither practice nor learn the religion. At least, until such a time they realise their follies.
My religious teacher said once, there are those who declare themselves to be Muslims only on several occasions in their lives - namely, the 2 Hari Rayas, AidilFitri and AidilAdha, their wedding and their death. Honestly, I do not despise them, but feel sorry for them, for they'd only be Muslims in name not in spirit. Still, I honestly say to all Muslims around the world, Selamat Hari Raya, ku pohon maaf zahir & batin.
Now, where did I put my new clothes........
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