Happily ever after.....hopefully

I was watching the Malay variety program Kpak Bing Bing, essentially the sound of the kompang when it's played, the other day and something struck me. No, not physically. I was watching the couple recounting their first meeting, how he summoned up the courage to approach the girl and the happily ever after ending to the romance.

And it hit me.

I can't recall any incident in which I approached someone whom I don't already know with the intention to date her. Eversince, I started having any sort of interest in a girl, which was way back in Primary 6, by the way, I have never really approached anyone with the singular intention of dating her. I have no idea how I snagged my first love back in Secondary 2, though I suspect it could have something to do with those revisions we had together. In reality, I have no confidence in making that first move. I only made a move on her after she reciprocated my suggestive talk, yeah, I was a smooth talker even back then. In any case, that puppy love was never gonna work out, though an attempt to rekindle the embers was carried out some years later, again with disastrous results.

Honestly, I have lost count of the number of girls who caught my eye. No, I'm no casanova. It's just that there are certain traits these girls posses that I admire. In 90% of those times when I had that flutter in my substantial tummy, I let the butterflies free, reasoning that the girl in my sights was too good for me. In fact, it's just that I've got no confidence nor the courage to make that move. Inevitably, I had a lot of god-sisters, none of which was intended to be that way, for sure. It was all the craze back then, and me being the ever obliging person that I am, just can't say no to the juniors who started calling me abang - just not in the way that I envisaged.

Ever heard the phrase, NS will change a guy?

That phrase couldn't be more true than in me. While I'm still the excitable and still the obliging person that I am, I became more courageous, when it comes to girls, of course. Where I used to be utterly content with admiring a girl from a far, I became more confident and more assured of myself and was more plucky to make that move. Talking about making moves, I'll freely admit that I met my wife through the Internet. I was just starting work after finishing my NS and was working the night shift most of the time. The long chats became even longer, and I asked her out after she sent me a photo of her, though, I din fancy her initially when I got hold of that photo.

My initial reaction to meeting her was, "Did she have to bring a platoon down?". You see, she had her best friends accompany her, all 4 of them, though they left after meeting me - to gossip about us for sure.. The second reaction was that her friend is pretty and yes, I did tell her that. As time went by, we fell in love and the rest is, as they say history.

The reason I'm blabbering on and on is because what struck me was the connection and bond these husbands and wives shared. Something, quite admittedly is lacking in our marriage. It seems that they embody the term a loving couple. I mean, we are not lovey-dovey and can't-take-me-eyes-off-you kind of couple. We don't always hold hands while walking in public, we don't always engage in hugs-and-kisses when out and about. We don't even say mushy things to each other. If either one does, the other would go are you feeling alright? And we irritate each other more than we encourage.

I know some would say that it's not a sign of a healthy marriage. We had a chat about this and one thing we both agreed on is that the strength of our marriage is evident in the fact that despite all the speed bumps and potholes we have come across in our marriage, including those times we thought about separation, the wheels won't be falling off this wagon at the distant future. I'll admit that I'm no angel and there are times when I do act like a jerk (which guy doesn't, right?) but that does not mean I love her any less. In fact, with time, the love that's keeping us together is still as strong, if not stronger.

A joke we share between ourselves is that I conned her into marrying me. In all honesty, I'm glad I managed to con her into being my wife. She may not be the perfect wife, but she is as close as it gets for me.

The day I got out of the car to help.

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