Thursday, January 26, 2006

Speaking in Martian

Finally. It's over. The despair and gloom hovering over me and the horizon has been lifted. Beautiful rays of light are shining through the clearing skies. I have finally found the reason to be cheerful again.

The problem was with my significant other. Being to afraid, fearful of displeasing those closest to her that she bottled up all her frustration only to take them out on me. Well, that's done and dusted and I am a very relieved person - grinning from ear to ear.

I had a fun debate witha girlfriend of mine yesterday. It was about the eternal conflict between men and women. Actually, more of men not being romantic and understanding the needs of a woman to be romanced. The polarised views of an idealistic woman and a realistic man.

We all know how much a woman fantasizes of being swept off her feet by a knight in shining armour - probably, a Bentley driving man donning an Armani suit is the closest equivalent. And, not forgetting her fantasies of living happily ever after replete with flowers, chocolates and lots of serenading. Yes, I hear the feminists hollering at the back, sharpening their knives, rage filling their minds at this "male chauvinistic pig". Lest we forget, these are the same women who demand equality and women's rights as much as demanding that they be romanced by the same men they say are trampling on their rights.

Women insist that they deserve to be treated better and there has to be more passion and romance in their lives as a couple. They demand that the men never forget birthdays and anniversaries. I'm fine with that. I mean, as a man, I freely admit that I am bad at remembering dates. I am also acutely aware that men can do much more for their partners. A man will say that ferrying their partners to and from work constitute a big sacrifice. A woman will say, that's the man's responsibility. So where do you draw the line?

Is it fair to say that a man must buy flowers for his partner even when there is no special occasion while the woman does not prepare a fantastic meal at home unless it is a special occasion? A relationship is a 2-way street and there has to be some give-and-take. Words of thanks and appreciation are the most undervalued in the relationship between a man and a women. It's always a case of, "What have you done for me lately?" I think both genders need to take a step back and think, "What have I done for you lately?"

Personally, I feel romance is over-rated and a product of idealistic western values which, along with drugs and crime, has no place in an Asian society like ours. Yes, I agree Singapore is at the crossroads of Eastern and Western cultures, but we are very much Eastern by heritage. It's good to be able to draw on the best of both worlds. But, when we draw on the wrong values such as the commercialization of Christmas and Valentine's Day, we lose our Asian identity. Let's face it, how many of us who openly declare their love for their significant other on this commercialised day, know who this St Valentine guy is?

I'm not saying to forget romance, just be thankful and appreciative of what's around us. Both genders are guilty of that. There is no point in pointing an accusing finger at the other sex of being self-centred when we both exhibit that same trait. Till that day where both genders start being thankful and appreciative for the existance of the other sex, feminists and chauvinistic views will remain.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Fading away....

I was driving back from lunch just now and decided to put on my Metallica compilation CD and blasted it in my car. It is a habit cultivated from my school years to lift my spirits whenever I feel like I'm in the doldrums.

"The Four Horsemen" was first, then came "The Call of Ktulu". Both were heavy numbers which took my mind of the troubles and the test I am facing right now. What I was not prepared for was the next song. "Fade to Black". As most Metallica fans know this number was written when Metallica was facing some testing and troubled times of their own.
Pretty much summed up the mood within me.

Just when I thought I had my troubles behind me for a minute or so, the mood came back. Flooded with emotions as I connected with the song. It felt like I was fading away, drowned out by my own troubles. My smile and jovial, cheerful disposition were gone, leaving an empty shell. I used to be a person who thrived on challenges and enjoyed pushing my limits. Somehow, I had lost that drive and that will to fight.

My closest friends know that I am a highly optimistic person. I helped some of them out of their doldrums and gave them the hope to carry on. Some of them has gone on record to say I helped them out of their troubled times. That optimism has since been swallowed by the pessimistic streak now raging through me. Now, I seem ridiculously helpless. I never once thought I'd lose it. I have yet to see light.

I had thought that I had neared the abyss a few days back. I thought most of my troubles are nearing its abyss. I thought I could soon have my smile and my cheerful, jovial self back.

Man, was I wrong......big time!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Turbulence ahead

Ladies and gentlemen, please remain seated and calm. We are experiencing some turbulence ahead. It will be slightly uncomfortable. Please bear with it.

How apt that would sound if I was the aeroplane.

I pride myself at being able to control my life, being able to plan ahead and see some plans come to fruition. What of those plans that don't? Well, somewhere between the initiation of the plan and fruition, it all went horribly wrong. Most of the time, it involves variables which I do not control, a good example would be other people.

Call me shameless but I'd like to think that most of my problems are caused by variables of the living, breathing kind. Like I said, I pride myself at being able to control my life. A schoolmate got angry with me once and hit me across the back of my head with an iron pipe.
He thought I had jeopardized his courting of this friend of mine by telling her what I thought he was like, which did not amount to much of an impression. Riled me up but not enough to make me retaliate. I have since forgiven him for that indiscretion.

I like to plan ahead - 5, 10, 15 years ahead. I'd imagine what life would be like at that age and what joy I could have. Some people plan to get married at a certain age, get a degree by a certain age, have kids at a certain age, even die at a certain age. Somewhere along the way, some things goes awry. It may be somethin
g tenable like cash flow and break-ups or it may be something inconceivable such as a debilitating disease. Something inevitably goes wrong.

Almost always though, life has a way of sorting itself out. In the end, equilibrium is maintained. I mean, hey, if you are on a downward spiral, you are bound to hit the abyss some time soon, and things will only get better from there.

I hope I hit my abyss soon. Then I'll have a reason to be cheerful again.

Friday, January 20, 2006

The problem with problems....

I was talking to girl friend of mine the other day. She was, well, more like a sister to me. Known her since 1996. Discussed about life, reminiscing the good times we've had and shared our problems, like we used to. I mean it's not we live alone on a remote island that we have to coop up our feelings and emotions within us.

It's a cliche to say that everyone has their problems, yet, it is the truth and a fact. No one in this world can be happy forever and escape problems. It is all relative, a problem you have may seem trivial to me but not to you, likewise with a problem I have. Everyone thinks they have the biggest problems in the world. Actually, every problem we face is a big problem. Else, it wouldn't be a problem in the first place.

I read somewhere that to solve a problem, you have to admit that there is a problem. Denial will only delay the solution. Finding a solution is tricky though, especially if the problem involves the people around us. Dealing with ourselves is easy, but dealing with people is tough, to put it mildly. Worse, especially if emotions are involved as well.

It's easier said than done to deal with our issues objectively. It is amazing to see such discussions to resolve outstanding issues can quickly degenerate into slanging matches, replete with wild gesticulating, swearing and uncouth remarks. All because we let our emotions into the discussion.

While it is difficult to control what the other party has to say, it's imperative that we control our own emotions to ensure the situation does not get out of hand. Easier said than done? It's all about making the right choice.

Hopefully, I've made the right choices in dealing with my own problems.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Bliss?? I seriously doubt it.

Three posts in, and I'm feeling like I have been babbling on and on about nothing. I was reading my first post yesterday, and it dawned on me that I'm still in a limbo of sorts as to what I want to express. Do I comment about my life, however insignificant it may be to others, or do I comment on current issues, issues that strike a chord in me?

Then it hit me. Why limit myself?

I was reading the blogs of some friends of mine. Some are happily married couples and some equally content singles. We all want the same thing; bliss. As subjective as it may be, we all desire it. Mostly, bliss happens when in the company of a significant other. Ask any single person and you'll likely get that answer. Honestly, I feel happy for them and wish my friends the best and may their bliss last a lifetime.

Can't say the same for me tho. Yes, I am married and, yes, I am happy. But blissful? Now, that's a different thing altogether. The start of a new year usually brings joy and happiness to most. Leaving old memories behind, making up a new list of, probably unfulfillable, resolutions and hoping for a better future.

I wish I started the new year like that. 2006 is probably not gonna be my year. Why the pessimism, some might ask. You know it's not gonna be a good year if you ended the last year with an argument with your loved one and it spilled over into the new year. Amazing, isn't it? While thousands were counting down the seconds and rejoicing at the moments, we were bickering and paused only to see the fireworks.

That's not the end of it. There's 348 days till the year ends, and looking back the first 17, the signs ain't good.

Happy New Year? I'll tell you when the year ends.




Monday, January 16, 2006

Are we there yet?

Been almost a week since my last post. Lots of stuff been going on in my little world. We had a mock terrorist attack since my last post. Supposedly, it was to test all the security agencies' readiness. The police, civil defence and medical facilities were tested, and not surprisingly they did well.I mean, this is Singapore - where everything runs like clockwork. Yeap, no such things as late busses or MRT are tolerated.

Few months earlier, the government was pushing for Singapore to be a services hub. Not like we weren't in the first place. Singapore has been at the forefront of modernisation, a jewel shining at the tip of Asia. The progress we have made has far outshone any economy over the last 3 decades. We have been courting envious glances from our neighbours and countries far away.
Let's face it. How many countries can boast of the achievements we made in such a short span?

We have what it takes to make it as a services hub. We have the infrastructure and the financial resources to make it happen. Look at our biomedical sector. It's not a miracle that it happened in such a short space of time. The problem with being a service-oriented economy is we need service-oriented people. We have topped Math and Science Olympiads and numerous intellecual competitions.

So, that raises the question, "Are we service-oriented enough?" Personally, I don't think so. To be service-oriented we have to to be able to appreciate good service. Now, we do not appreciate great service enough. We expect good service, and anything below that expectation is unacceptable. We expect to be greeted at the door of a shop. But when the shop goes out of their way to get something we are looking for, do we appreciate that gesture? More often than not, we unknowingly, don't.

That brings me to another issue - ignorance. We are ignorant. Either by choice or by circumstances. Some of us didn't even know of the existance of such a major civil emergency excercise. We'll deal with it when it comes. Such lackadaisical attitude - so prevalent amongst us - will only bring glee to the deranged, deluded and misguided bunch who calls themselves "holy warriors" aka "terrorist".

It is forgivable to be ignorant - the only person affected by it is yourself. To be lackadaisical can lead to a catastrophic event where hundreds, perhaps thousands perishing. Remember Bali?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

My look back at 2005

I was reading the news today about the horrifying landslide that killed roughly 300 lives in Central Java. It's been a tumultous past year or so to say the least. Let's recount the damage shall we?

26th Dec 04 - Indian Ocean Tsunami kills 275000, by far the most devastating natural disaster in recent memory.
6th Feb 05 - Heavy flooding in Pakistan kills 406
14th Feb 05 - Gas mine in China explodes killing 209 miners
22nd Feb 05 - Magnitude 6.4 earthquake struck Iran killing 604, levelling many villages
Feb 05 - Extreme winter weather conditions kills more than 1400 over a 1 and a half month period.
18th Mar 05 - More heavy rain and melting snow causes floods leaving more than 200 dead
28th Mar 05 - Magnitude 8.7 earthquake in Sumatra kills another 1313 after having suffered the Indian Ocen Tsunami only months earlier
June 05 - Widespread flooding throughout China leaves more tha 600 dead and countless others homeless
13th July 05 - 3 train crashes in Ghotki, India leaves 128 dead
14th Aug 05 - Helios Airways Flight 522, a Boeing 737, en route from Cyprus to Athens, crashed into a mountain killing all 121 on board
16th Aug 05 - West Caribbean Airways flight en route from Panama to Martinique, crashed in remote western Venezuela, killing all 160 on board
29th Aug 05 - Hurricane Katrina, one of the most powerful and most devastatingin recent times, hits Florida and Mississippi leaving utter destruction in its wake and claiming 1323 lived in the process.
31st Aug 05 - Rumours of a suicide bomber causes a stampede in which 950pilgrims lost their lives
1st Sept 05 - Typhoon Talim hits China leaving 129 people dead
5th Sep 05 - Boeing 737 crashes on takeoff in Medan, Indonesia killing 149, 47 of which were on the ground
24th Sep 05 - Hurricane Rita, just as powerful as Katrina, hits Florida, Louisiana and Texas nut doesn't claim as many lives though recovery operations from Katrina was severly hampered
1st Oct 05 - Hurricane Stan leaves behind total devastation claiming 2000 lives and thousands more missing in Central America.
2nd Oct 05 - A magnitude 7.6 earthquake killed more that 80,000, mostly women, children and the elderly in Pakistan-controlled Kashmir. Many towns and remote villages in the mountaineous region were flattened leaving 4 million homless facing the looming winter
22nd Oct 05 - Nigerian Bellview Airlines Boeing 737 enroute to Abuja crashed in Lagos killing all 117 aboard
27th Nov 05 - Explosion at the Dongfeng Coal Mine in China killed 171
6th Dec 05 - An Iranian military C130 carrying 94 ppl crashed into an apartment building while attempting an emergency landing in Tehran killing 115, the other 21 was from the building.
10th Dec 05 - A Nigerian Sosoliso Airlines plane carrying 110 crashed during landing in bad weather, killing 107

We had a record-breaking year in terms of the number of tropical storms battering the Atlantic. 27 in total. Previous record was 21, way back in 1933. Of these 13 were hurricanes, also setting another record surpassing the 12 in 1969. 7 of the 13 were considered major hurricanes. 3 of those were Category 5 storms.

Scary isn't it? Well, I didn't include the thousands of lives extinguished in the the Iraqi insurgency, the suicide bombings in Amman, Bali and London, and the, considerably, minor tragedies occuring throughout the world.

Well, it was a roller coaster ride for all of us. Those in Europe and US watched in disbelief the carnage left behind by all the earthquakes and not forgetting the one which introduced the word tsunami to almost 3/4 of the ignorant world, while being battered themselves with the hurricanes and bombings. Most of us in Asia are still trying to get a grip with all that's happened around us, from the earthquakes in Sumatra to the ones hitting Iran and Pakistan. Overwhelming? Definitely.

What scares me the most is not the possibilty of Singapore being hit by a tsunami or earthquake or suicide bombers but rather the attitude of some of my fellow Singaporeans who seem to think that events such as these around the world have no impact on their lives while going about their daily routine as if nothing had ever happened.


God, help us if it ever comes to that.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

4th of January 2006. A historic landmark.........

Yeap...........

It's historic alright. The day I finally got around to setting up a blog. My blog.

I used to be one of those people who thought, "Why bother with a blog? What do you achieve by maintaining a blog? What's the purpose of having one if all your thoughts and emotions you assumed are private are there for all to see, to scrutinize and to criticize?"

I just didn't understand it. The controversies of the past year revolving ard bloggers, some deservedly, have only added to my contempt of the blogging community. Why, then, did I join them? It's not a case of "If you can't beat them, join them". Neither is it a case of me wanting to be part of a community, to be accepted.

Honestly, I fear the kind of reaction some of the more illustrious blogger received and I, admittedly, fear the chiding I may get from what I may say. Still, I'm here.

One of the main reasons for me is probably out of the self-satisfaction I get when making my points of view known. As a person, I am very vocal and vociferous to say the least. I'm not one to shy away from a debate and I certainly hate losing a debate.

I guess the knowledge that some people out there will certainly challenge my points of view intrigues me. To see other's points of view and to discuss certain topics definitely is a reason for this blog to exist. There may be other reasons which I have yet to find out, but it'll surface sooner or later.

Yeaps, you may say it's an impulse thing, and impulse is a risk, but it's a risk I feel worth taking.

Happy new year.