It's 4pm on New Year's Eve and while practically half of Singapore are busying themselves with getting ready for a countdown party, I'm still at work, staring blindly at my computer screen, my mind wandering aimlessly through the various memories etched in my mind through the last 364 days.
It doesn't really matter to me that I have to stay back at work today. I mean the few hours of freedom in my office is something to savour. While the other team are engrossed in the rounds of Warcraft, here I am, punding away furiously on my keyboard, all the while trying to recall the milestones that did take place. It may mean nothing to some others, but the following A-Z of the year means the world to me.
Arguments - yeap there were loads of these, so much it nearly pushed us over the edge.
Baby - the saving grace after 4 years of marriage, our pride and joy.
Cameron Highlands - drove up in March, during the CNY weekend, tiring trip with torturous traffic jams on the way there but worth every minute when we did get there
Death - some friends passed on, sadly and tragically. May Allay bless their souls and places them in exalted company, Insyallah.
Education - finally, restarted my Adv Diploma course which has been on hold for so long, hopefully I'll get the cert this coming year.
Fatherhood - obviously the greatest thing to have ever happened to me, apart from my birth
Grandma/grandpa - both my parents were away at the start of 2007, returning home from their hajj as grandparents, with my niece's birth
Hajj - both my parents completed their pilgrimage earlier this year, successfully, thanks to Allah.
In-laws - my constant gripe though, I'd have to admit, it's becoming lesser of a problem now
Jelapang Rd - the place I call home, close to friends (they've been very quiet these past few months tho), close to some family, home for a few more years still
KKH - our most visited place this year
Leave - almost ran out of leave at the end of the year, as I kept utilising my leave to go for my wife's checkups at KKH
Marriage - no, not mine again, my cousin got married, as did a friend from my pre-u days, congrats Syahid and Sutinah and Juny and hubby (his name keeps slipping my mind, sorry sis)
Nuryn Izzati - the name of my precious baby, means "the light of our chastity" or "cahaya kemuliaanku"
October - the month where she was born, eight days after her mom's birthday
Promotion - wifey got a promotion this year, and a salary hike, a great achievement for her after more than 10 years of slogging at the same company.
Queasy - the feeling I got when the gynae told my wife, she'd have to have an induce birth the following morning on our last checkup
Renovate - something we'de like to get done on our home, though not on our list of priorities, at least we did change to a bigger bedroom set out of necessity
Sex - of the baby, I was sure it was gonna be a boy, though honestly, it didn't matter, I'm equally over the moon.
Trips - went on a trip to Cameron in March and KL in June, none since then, feet are itching to go somewhere soon
Up - the ever increasing price of everything, from petrol to electricity to water and even baby diapers, the only thing that doesn't increase on a similar scale is our pay
Videographer - my first and only project to do wedding videography for my cousin's wedding, dun think I'll be venturing out to do it on a part-time basis, it's tiring lah!
Wife - my greatest companion, critic, supporter and headache, love her still in spite of all the headaches
X-rated - the feeling in my head during one of the more serious hbouts of wife-induced headaches
Yeap Min Li - the gynae who monitored my wife during her pregnancy and delivered my baby girl, arguably the most important people in my life now
Zzzzzzzz - something we both have been struggling to have since the birth of our daughter, a happy problem we'd have anytime.
Well, that was basically the year that passed. As far as resolution goes, I haven't made any. I don't remember making any resolutions the year before, which just says that come the same time next year, I'm likely to have forgotten what were my resolutions I made for 2008. I might as well not make any resolutions to begin with.
Simplistic? I'd call it being realistic.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
That fateful day....
Three years ago today, we watched in horror as the drama that was the tsunami unfolded before us in places some of us have never heard of, Meulaboh for instance. That was the day where many of us first read or heard the word tsunami.
As the events around the region and across the Indian Ocean took place, we affixed ourselves to our lovely TV sets, in our cosy sofas, sipping cold drinks with awe in our eyes watching the destruction wrought on those faraway lands which many have come to know as paradise on earth. Pristine locales such as Phuket and Maldives springs to mind when we think of sandy, sun drenched beaches.
Soon, the world sprang into action like never before, amazed by the destruction and overcome with grief for those who perished, yet filled with compassion for those left alive and counting the toll of destruction. There was no need to call for a donation drive. People from all walks of life put aside their busy schedules and came to the fore to give what they can and to help where they were needed. It's amazing how the human spirit shines through in the face of such adversity. Governments and MNCs doled out billions of dollars worth of emergency supplies, donations and funds to rebuild these devastated lands.
The outpouring of grief for those lost, the lasting images of the waves striking the shores, and the footage of the little child playing on the sands as the wave swept through will forever be etched in the memories of those old enough to remember and realise the gravity of the event. Truth be told, it was a "Kennedy" moment for many of us - we seem to remember exactly where we were, what we were doing when the news broke through.
Now 3 years on, we have been informed through the media that the reconstruction projects which have been taken on are truly well underway and near completion. For us Singaporeans, the bonds which some of us have forged with the Acehnese when we helped them through their testing times, will forever be remembered with gratitude by them, no doubt. Personally, I am glad that we have been able to do some good in our lives, no matter how insignificant our contributions may have been.
To see the news footage these past few days, really does warm my heart. Knowing that our contributions were put to great use and great effect for those affected, does rid me of those sceptical questions swirling in my mind. It gives me great solace reading about how our contributions have helped in rebuilding that little town of Meulaboh, which I wouldn't have known of had it not been for the tsunami.
As the events around the region and across the Indian Ocean took place, we affixed ourselves to our lovely TV sets, in our cosy sofas, sipping cold drinks with awe in our eyes watching the destruction wrought on those faraway lands which many have come to know as paradise on earth. Pristine locales such as Phuket and Maldives springs to mind when we think of sandy, sun drenched beaches.
Soon, the world sprang into action like never before, amazed by the destruction and overcome with grief for those who perished, yet filled with compassion for those left alive and counting the toll of destruction. There was no need to call for a donation drive. People from all walks of life put aside their busy schedules and came to the fore to give what they can and to help where they were needed. It's amazing how the human spirit shines through in the face of such adversity. Governments and MNCs doled out billions of dollars worth of emergency supplies, donations and funds to rebuild these devastated lands.
The outpouring of grief for those lost, the lasting images of the waves striking the shores, and the footage of the little child playing on the sands as the wave swept through will forever be etched in the memories of those old enough to remember and realise the gravity of the event. Truth be told, it was a "Kennedy" moment for many of us - we seem to remember exactly where we were, what we were doing when the news broke through.
Now 3 years on, we have been informed through the media that the reconstruction projects which have been taken on are truly well underway and near completion. For us Singaporeans, the bonds which some of us have forged with the Acehnese when we helped them through their testing times, will forever be remembered with gratitude by them, no doubt. Personally, I am glad that we have been able to do some good in our lives, no matter how insignificant our contributions may have been.
To see the news footage these past few days, really does warm my heart. Knowing that our contributions were put to great use and great effect for those affected, does rid me of those sceptical questions swirling in my mind. It gives me great solace reading about how our contributions have helped in rebuilding that little town of Meulaboh, which I wouldn't have known of had it not been for the tsunami.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Say what?!
Been a REALLY long while since I said something here. A short hiatus to recharge the old creaky batteries. It's a month now since little Izza first cried. Man, she's growing so fast. She gained 1.2kg in that month. Well, for my part, I've been through a lot too......not least, the fiasco that was Hari Raya, which is supposed to be a joyous occasion for a first-time dad.
Let's just leave it at that. Details will only open up sore, healing wounds.
One would expect that a first-time dad like myself would go on and on about his experiences of fatherhood. About how he feels, his fears and his headache at waking up in the wee hours to change diapers or feed his baby. I do think that's a bit too cliched - even for someone who loves his cliches, like myself. I mean, yeah, I'm proud to be a dad and I'm revelling in that challenge of raising my princess - feeding and diaper changes in the wee hours included. Which dad wouldn't rite?
Therein lies the problem. Too many of us come to think of our blogs as an online diary. We confide our personal, some too personal, thoughts in it. Some details everything they did in a day. Even the most mundane of details get airtime. I know that blogs are a good way of letting people who matter know what we've been up to. Then again, while some of us like to know what's new in your lives, others cringe at having to read those mundane details such as where you were at specific times, what you did in vivid details, what you ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I have heard people ask me, does such details interest you? Did the author need to indulge us with those details? Does the author really think that their life is that interesting that we'd want to know what goes through your digestive system? Does the author think that their life is that spectacular to fill it with pseudo-suspence?
I do agree that sometimes we all post a blog on impulse. Sometimes, our self-serving behaviour comes to the fore and leads us to believe that the very mundane details we loathe to read from other people's blogs, actually is interesting enough for others to read. I'm not immune to that. I actually do ask myself, does the problems or challenges I face on the homefront makes for interesting reading? I am guilty of the same thinking that it's my blog and what I write there is just my thoughts with little or no consequence to others. I am guilty of posting on impulse - just to let off some steam - knowing that the otherhalf would read it. Lame excuse, I know
Personally, I won't blame the author for all the mundane details and the overdose of self-centred mindset that the world does revolve around them. I mean, it's their prerogative to do so and, at the same time, make themselves look like attention-seekers. As a reader, while we reserve the right to criticise a post, we would do well to excercise tongue and finger control to avoid misunderstandings with the authors which may lead to unpleasant scenes.
Well, for me, I'm working on that finger and tongue control.
Let's just leave it at that. Details will only open up sore, healing wounds.
One would expect that a first-time dad like myself would go on and on about his experiences of fatherhood. About how he feels, his fears and his headache at waking up in the wee hours to change diapers or feed his baby. I do think that's a bit too cliched - even for someone who loves his cliches, like myself. I mean, yeah, I'm proud to be a dad and I'm revelling in that challenge of raising my princess - feeding and diaper changes in the wee hours included. Which dad wouldn't rite?
Therein lies the problem. Too many of us come to think of our blogs as an online diary. We confide our personal, some too personal, thoughts in it. Some details everything they did in a day. Even the most mundane of details get airtime. I know that blogs are a good way of letting people who matter know what we've been up to. Then again, while some of us like to know what's new in your lives, others cringe at having to read those mundane details such as where you were at specific times, what you did in vivid details, what you ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I have heard people ask me, does such details interest you? Did the author need to indulge us with those details? Does the author really think that their life is that interesting that we'd want to know what goes through your digestive system? Does the author think that their life is that spectacular to fill it with pseudo-suspence?
I do agree that sometimes we all post a blog on impulse. Sometimes, our self-serving behaviour comes to the fore and leads us to believe that the very mundane details we loathe to read from other people's blogs, actually is interesting enough for others to read. I'm not immune to that. I actually do ask myself, does the problems or challenges I face on the homefront makes for interesting reading? I am guilty of the same thinking that it's my blog and what I write there is just my thoughts with little or no consequence to others. I am guilty of posting on impulse - just to let off some steam - knowing that the otherhalf would read it. Lame excuse, I know
Personally, I won't blame the author for all the mundane details and the overdose of self-centred mindset that the world does revolve around them. I mean, it's their prerogative to do so and, at the same time, make themselves look like attention-seekers. As a reader, while we reserve the right to criticise a post, we would do well to excercise tongue and finger control to avoid misunderstandings with the authors which may lead to unpleasant scenes.
Well, for me, I'm working on that finger and tongue control.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
My pursuit of happyness
Eid Mubarak to all!! Hope you are all having a better Syawal than me!!!
It's the second day of Syawal and princess is enjoying the attention from all the visitors. I'd like to think so cos she's been sleeping through it all. After all it's her first Hari Raya and our first as a family, even if it means we can't go around and visit any of our relatives and friends.
As much as I'd like to gripe about all those people who skip fasting during Ramadhan, yet never fail to be decked out in all their brand new Hari Raya clothes and accessories which may only be used this one time, I'll give it a rest this time. While it's quite irritating and frustrating to see their shamelessness, there's only so much we could do. I mean, although we could approach them and advice them nicely, but who's to say they won't reply snidely with a scowl on their face. And that's putting it nicely.
I watched The Pursuit of Happyness on cable over the weekend. I must say that it was a really good movie. Made me wonder why I didn't catch it the first time it came out in the cinema. Something Will Smith said in the movie just resonates within me - maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. Somehow, that line in the movie just struck a chord in me. Is it possible that happiness is just a state of mind that never really exists, that it is created as means of purpose in our lives, to give us something to work towards? Happiness.
Why am I feeling philosphic? Simple, my in-laws are staying with me. Well, my MIL is around to take care of wifey and baby while she is in confinement. It's not anyone's fault really, I made her stay with us, else, we'd have to stay at their place. Not a very interesting prospect.
Honestly, I've never really gotten along with my in-laws. Perhaps, a part of me just refuses to get along. Outwardly, everything may seem OK. I mean, it's not like I don't acknowledge them or act despicably in their presence - I just wasn't brought up that way. It's just I can't stand the way they do things and the way they think. Some things happened over the course of the week, compounded by what transpired this morning that made me blew my top. I'm not going into details for wifey's sake, suffice to say, I've no love nor respect for my in-laws.
Yeah, I know. Who doesn't have problems with the in-laws. This is why I think happyness for me is just that - a concept that I may never be able to truly attain, as long as I'm in conflict with myself on whether or not to confront my anger, dislike and disrespect towards the family I may never be able to love.
It's the second day of Syawal and princess is enjoying the attention from all the visitors. I'd like to think so cos she's been sleeping through it all. After all it's her first Hari Raya and our first as a family, even if it means we can't go around and visit any of our relatives and friends.
As much as I'd like to gripe about all those people who skip fasting during Ramadhan, yet never fail to be decked out in all their brand new Hari Raya clothes and accessories which may only be used this one time, I'll give it a rest this time. While it's quite irritating and frustrating to see their shamelessness, there's only so much we could do. I mean, although we could approach them and advice them nicely, but who's to say they won't reply snidely with a scowl on their face. And that's putting it nicely.
I watched The Pursuit of Happyness on cable over the weekend. I must say that it was a really good movie. Made me wonder why I didn't catch it the first time it came out in the cinema. Something Will Smith said in the movie just resonates within me - maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. Somehow, that line in the movie just struck a chord in me. Is it possible that happiness is just a state of mind that never really exists, that it is created as means of purpose in our lives, to give us something to work towards? Happiness.
Why am I feeling philosphic? Simple, my in-laws are staying with me. Well, my MIL is around to take care of wifey and baby while she is in confinement. It's not anyone's fault really, I made her stay with us, else, we'd have to stay at their place. Not a very interesting prospect.
Honestly, I've never really gotten along with my in-laws. Perhaps, a part of me just refuses to get along. Outwardly, everything may seem OK. I mean, it's not like I don't acknowledge them or act despicably in their presence - I just wasn't brought up that way. It's just I can't stand the way they do things and the way they think. Some things happened over the course of the week, compounded by what transpired this morning that made me blew my top. I'm not going into details for wifey's sake, suffice to say, I've no love nor respect for my in-laws.
Yeah, I know. Who doesn't have problems with the in-laws. This is why I think happyness for me is just that - a concept that I may never be able to truly attain, as long as I'm in conflict with myself on whether or not to confront my anger, dislike and disrespect towards the family I may never be able to love.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Izza down with jaundice
Izza went for her checkup yesterday morning at Bukit Batok Polyclinic.
Got a bit of worrying news - her jaundice was at 279. The attending doc decided that it was best that we sent her to KKH A&E. We preferred it if she was not warded, but it was not to be. She is warded for now. She "checked-in" yesterday at about 2.30pm. After "checking-in", we stayed a while and went home. We were both a bit tired, still getting used to waking up in the middle of the night to take care of her, so we slept the rest of day away.
Spent the night resting at home. Got some pleasant surprises with some of the gifts. I'm sure Izza was ecstatic at the bling she got from Uncle Aiz , Uncle Andy, Auntie Irah and Auntie Nanie -in no particular order - for the beautiful piece. Not forgetting the dozens of clothes she has been getting. We both missed her terribly last night, even if we slept soundly. Both of us kept sniffing at her unwashed clothes....
. Understandably, wifey was a bit distraught at the thought of leaving her in KKH, but it was for the best
Wifey check with the ward earlier but was told that she needed to be held back for a while yet. We'll definitely be visiting her after I finish work today, hopefully, she'll be discharged later today too.
Got a bit of worrying news - her jaundice was at 279. The attending doc decided that it was best that we sent her to KKH A&E. We preferred it if she was not warded, but it was not to be. She is warded for now. She "checked-in" yesterday at about 2.30pm. After "checking-in", we stayed a while and went home. We were both a bit tired, still getting used to waking up in the middle of the night to take care of her, so we slept the rest of day away.
Spent the night resting at home. Got some pleasant surprises with some of the gifts. I'm sure Izza was ecstatic at the bling she got from Uncle Aiz , Uncle Andy, Auntie Irah and Auntie Nanie -in no particular order - for the beautiful piece. Not forgetting the dozens of clothes she has been getting. We both missed her terribly last night, even if we slept soundly. Both of us kept sniffing at her unwashed clothes....
. Understandably, wifey was a bit distraught at the thought of leaving her in KKH, but it was for the bestWifey check with the ward earlier but was told that she needed to be held back for a while yet. We'll definitely be visiting her after I finish work today, hopefully, she'll be discharged later today too.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
A crazy Saturday
I'd like to think of my days of being jam-packed with activities. After comparing my days with those of my friends whom I have had the privelege to read on their blogs, I realise, my days are relatively sedentary. Then again, wifey is not exactly a big fan of "joining the crowds", and she is not in any condition to do so anytime soon anyway.
We're less than 2 weeks away from Aidilfitri and wifey and me have yet to go to the Bazaar at Geylang to do any real shopping. We did stop by once to get the vadei from the Indian stall outside the Teh Tarik Eating House. I swear they must be selling the best vadei there. Not only are they delicious, they are practically fresh from the wok. However, a 10min stop to buy food does not count right? Talking about the vadei, I might just go there tonight for it.
OK, back to the issue of having jam-packed days. Last Saturday must have been my most hectic day to date. For one, we had our aircon installed - yes, finally we bought a System 2 unit. Unfortunately, a System 3 wouldn't work for my house since the other bedroom is acorss the kitchen - stupid HDB architects. So while the air-con guy installed it, I went out to Bukit Panjang Plaza (BPP). Needed the cash to settle the aircon and the one near my home was down.
While I was crossing the road, I heard a car honking furiously. As I turned my head to the right, it happened. The car - a taxi actually - screeched, thought not in time, and slammed into the side of a black MPV, I didn't quite make out the model. And I was barely 5 meters from the accident. The taxi was driving parallel to where I was heading, while the MPV had wanted to make a right turn into the road I was crossing. I noticed the lady driver of the MPV having the kind of blur look, as if she didn't know what she was doing, and the MPV was turning at a very slow speed. Even after the impact, she had the same look on her face and proceeded to drive the car to the side of the road and sat inside her car for a good 5 minutes before she got out and examined the damage. Beats me why she decided to turn when the taxi was approaching and doing so at such a slow speed. Well, in any case, I'm a witness to the accident though the taxi driver haven't called me up yet.
Besides the air-con installation, we had our car polished by a mobile car grooming pro - I'd like to think of him as a pro, anyway. Normally, I'd polish my car on my own, however, I decided to oursource the polishing this time round because the previous time I attempted to polish my car during Ramadhan, I hardly had any energy left to do anything else. After all that work was done, I was left with the arduous task of cleaning up the mess of the aircon installation. Halfway through it, my vacuum went bust. So I did what came naturally - sleep in my air-con bedroom. We did get the vacuum replaced later that night and continued with the cleaning.
Well, that was pretty packed. Eversince that Saturday, we've been sleeping with the aircon on everynight. Now, I'm just bracing myself for next month's utilities bill.
We're less than 2 weeks away from Aidilfitri and wifey and me have yet to go to the Bazaar at Geylang to do any real shopping. We did stop by once to get the vadei from the Indian stall outside the Teh Tarik Eating House. I swear they must be selling the best vadei there. Not only are they delicious, they are practically fresh from the wok. However, a 10min stop to buy food does not count right? Talking about the vadei, I might just go there tonight for it.
OK, back to the issue of having jam-packed days. Last Saturday must have been my most hectic day to date. For one, we had our aircon installed - yes, finally we bought a System 2 unit. Unfortunately, a System 3 wouldn't work for my house since the other bedroom is acorss the kitchen - stupid HDB architects. So while the air-con guy installed it, I went out to Bukit Panjang Plaza (BPP). Needed the cash to settle the aircon and the one near my home was down.
While I was crossing the road, I heard a car honking furiously. As I turned my head to the right, it happened. The car - a taxi actually - screeched, thought not in time, and slammed into the side of a black MPV, I didn't quite make out the model. And I was barely 5 meters from the accident. The taxi was driving parallel to where I was heading, while the MPV had wanted to make a right turn into the road I was crossing. I noticed the lady driver of the MPV having the kind of blur look, as if she didn't know what she was doing, and the MPV was turning at a very slow speed. Even after the impact, she had the same look on her face and proceeded to drive the car to the side of the road and sat inside her car for a good 5 minutes before she got out and examined the damage. Beats me why she decided to turn when the taxi was approaching and doing so at such a slow speed. Well, in any case, I'm a witness to the accident though the taxi driver haven't called me up yet.
Besides the air-con installation, we had our car polished by a mobile car grooming pro - I'd like to think of him as a pro, anyway. Normally, I'd polish my car on my own, however, I decided to oursource the polishing this time round because the previous time I attempted to polish my car during Ramadhan, I hardly had any energy left to do anything else. After all that work was done, I was left with the arduous task of cleaning up the mess of the aircon installation. Halfway through it, my vacuum went bust. So I did what came naturally - sleep in my air-con bedroom. We did get the vacuum replaced later that night and continued with the cleaning.
Well, that was pretty packed. Eversince that Saturday, we've been sleeping with the aircon on everynight. Now, I'm just bracing myself for next month's utilities bill.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Grappling with uncertainties
Tick tock tick tock.........
The seconds tick by..........
Sitting at his desk, staring at the screen, fingers furiously punching away at the keyboard, he's slowly approaching the defining moment in his life. As he waits for the call that may come at anytime, his thoughts meander through the labyrinths in his mind. Seconds turns to minutes, minutes turns to hours. Questions abound. Questions that have been tearing away at him for the last few months. Questions he could not answer. Now, as the hour approaches, the questions that has been hanging over him seems more and more like a burden he is struggling to shoulder.
The greatest gift - that's what some call it, even if the gift comes with loads of responsibilities. Nevertheless, he knows it's a responsibility that will provide him with an array of intangible benefits, not to mention his source of happiness and pride. At the same time, the burden of responsibilty weighs heavily on his mind, not knowing if he can fulfil his responsibilities and knowing that he'll be answerable for any of his failings. As he grapples with the uncertainties that follows, he leaves it to the Almighty to show him the right path.
Many a father has gone through what I am going through right now as will many more after me, comforting himself in the knowledge that it will all be allright.
A bit dramatic, I'd readily admit. Not every dad-to-be wallows in melodramatic notions. But in the stillness of the nights and in between the lull hours at the office, that's what goes through my mind. Having been married for 4 years, many would say it's high time we started a family. We have never planned to start a family late, in fact, there was no plan. It was just a ride we took from that beautiful day on 7th June 2003 and never got off. I mean, we didn't really make any plans as to when to have a baby, we sort of just got on with life and if it came along, good, else we'd just go on.
Well, that day arrived 8 mths ago when the nurse at KKH said, "Congratulations, you're pregnant" to her. Initially, it was more of a shock than anything else. The realisation that I was soon to be a father did not really sink in till the next day. It was then that I began to have questions in my mind as to my ability to provide for my wife and daughter. I began to reflect on the past 3 and a half years of marriage and asked if I had been a good enough husband and if I could be a good father. As much as a resounding YES would have done a great deal to boost my ego, I know that from that moment, my ego will always come second to my wife's and my child's needs.
With those 3 words, my priorities immediately changed. Gone were the dream of owning that flash car, that cool gadget and that swanky AV system for my home. Those are no longer my personal priorities though I'd be a damn fool to say no to them if the opportunity arises. In their places, my only dream right now is to raise my family well, and hopefully do well enough that my family and I has a place in His good graces.
It's all about her now. No turning back, no quitting.
As for the questions that hang over me, they are still there. And most probably will remain there till the day that I die, for I am only the executor of His will and He will be the one to judge me when the time comes.
The seconds tick by..........
Sitting at his desk, staring at the screen, fingers furiously punching away at the keyboard, he's slowly approaching the defining moment in his life. As he waits for the call that may come at anytime, his thoughts meander through the labyrinths in his mind. Seconds turns to minutes, minutes turns to hours. Questions abound. Questions that have been tearing away at him for the last few months. Questions he could not answer. Now, as the hour approaches, the questions that has been hanging over him seems more and more like a burden he is struggling to shoulder.
The greatest gift - that's what some call it, even if the gift comes with loads of responsibilities. Nevertheless, he knows it's a responsibility that will provide him with an array of intangible benefits, not to mention his source of happiness and pride. At the same time, the burden of responsibilty weighs heavily on his mind, not knowing if he can fulfil his responsibilities and knowing that he'll be answerable for any of his failings. As he grapples with the uncertainties that follows, he leaves it to the Almighty to show him the right path.
Many a father has gone through what I am going through right now as will many more after me, comforting himself in the knowledge that it will all be allright.
A bit dramatic, I'd readily admit. Not every dad-to-be wallows in melodramatic notions. But in the stillness of the nights and in between the lull hours at the office, that's what goes through my mind. Having been married for 4 years, many would say it's high time we started a family. We have never planned to start a family late, in fact, there was no plan. It was just a ride we took from that beautiful day on 7th June 2003 and never got off. I mean, we didn't really make any plans as to when to have a baby, we sort of just got on with life and if it came along, good, else we'd just go on.
Well, that day arrived 8 mths ago when the nurse at KKH said, "Congratulations, you're pregnant" to her. Initially, it was more of a shock than anything else. The realisation that I was soon to be a father did not really sink in till the next day. It was then that I began to have questions in my mind as to my ability to provide for my wife and daughter. I began to reflect on the past 3 and a half years of marriage and asked if I had been a good enough husband and if I could be a good father. As much as a resounding YES would have done a great deal to boost my ego, I know that from that moment, my ego will always come second to my wife's and my child's needs.
With those 3 words, my priorities immediately changed. Gone were the dream of owning that flash car, that cool gadget and that swanky AV system for my home. Those are no longer my personal priorities though I'd be a damn fool to say no to them if the opportunity arises. In their places, my only dream right now is to raise my family well, and hopefully do well enough that my family and I has a place in His good graces.
It's all about her now. No turning back, no quitting.
As for the questions that hang over me, they are still there. And most probably will remain there till the day that I die, for I am only the executor of His will and He will be the one to judge me when the time comes.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Al Fatihah........
For those who have read about the missing 8-yr old who disappeared after going to a night market in Petaling Jaya. She has been confirmed to be the dead girl found stuffed into the sports bag....
I can only say that I feel the grief of the girl's parents and pray that the monster who did this is caught and given the just punishments.
http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Thursday/Frontpage/20070920142056/Article/index_html
I can only say that I feel the grief of the girl's parents and pray that the monster who did this is caught and given the just punishments.
http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Thursday/Frontpage/20070920142056/Article/index_html
Between love and beliefs
I'd go to the edges of the world for you........My heart is yours forever....
Just some of the sweet nothings we have, at one point in our lives, whispered into the ears of our significant other. Deeply in love, smitten by the imagery of bliss, we'd give anything to be with our other half. Just how far we'd go is subjective.
Admittedly, I once felt that same overwhelming feeling of euphoric excitement when my then-gf reciprocated my feelings for her. I could have shouted, "I'm the king of the world" while standing at the top of Mount Faber when we were officially together. The feeling of being in love is probably the greatest feeling in the world, the only other thing that probably comes close is the initial reaction of someone who's won first prize in TOTO or 4D. I wouldn't know of the latter as I never did try my luck, and probably never will.
Why am I talking about this is because of a chat with a good friend of mine about how some people would risk cutting familial ties for the sake of their love. Honestly, I do find it disturbing that there are people who'd risk everything they have in their life to pursue a love they desire. While I am disturbed that they'd forsake their religion, I'm even more shocked at their decision to cut familial ties to be with the one they love. Renouncing Islam, for me, is between you and God, but being disowned by your family has more repercussions as it involves the very people who gave birth and raised us.
I know of a malay lady who did just that. We used to work together. I did ask her once if she was brought up a muslim and she concurred. However, I dared not question her decision to lead an atheistic life now with her non-Muslim husband. While I know of some Indian Muslim guys from my reservist unit who were Muslims when I first met them, but have since, changed their names and seen wearing crosses. Another ex-colleague of mine re-converted back to Hinduism after his marriage broke down. I do wonder sometimes if the euphoria of our love for someone can be more compelling than our beliefs.
I'm not sure if I am daring enough to walk that path. I'm not even sure if I can love a girl more than I love my family. For me, if it ever came down to having to choose between the 2, I'd probably be plumping for the family, though, that in itself represents a gut-wrenching decision which I pray I'd never have to make. Luckily for me, my wife, despite her failings, loves me too much to ever put me through it. I just hope that those people who forsook their family for their love never have to go through a divorce as they'll have no family to turn to if the love they risked everything for breaks down
Oh, and I am not even talking about those Malays who confess to be Muslims, but do not live by it. Well, as the Mat Rock would say, "Lu punya kubur lu jaga, gua punya kubur gua jaga." (You worry of your grave, and I'll worry about mine)
Just some of the sweet nothings we have, at one point in our lives, whispered into the ears of our significant other. Deeply in love, smitten by the imagery of bliss, we'd give anything to be with our other half. Just how far we'd go is subjective.
Admittedly, I once felt that same overwhelming feeling of euphoric excitement when my then-gf reciprocated my feelings for her. I could have shouted, "I'm the king of the world" while standing at the top of Mount Faber when we were officially together. The feeling of being in love is probably the greatest feeling in the world, the only other thing that probably comes close is the initial reaction of someone who's won first prize in TOTO or 4D. I wouldn't know of the latter as I never did try my luck, and probably never will.
Why am I talking about this is because of a chat with a good friend of mine about how some people would risk cutting familial ties for the sake of their love. Honestly, I do find it disturbing that there are people who'd risk everything they have in their life to pursue a love they desire. While I am disturbed that they'd forsake their religion, I'm even more shocked at their decision to cut familial ties to be with the one they love. Renouncing Islam, for me, is between you and God, but being disowned by your family has more repercussions as it involves the very people who gave birth and raised us.
I know of a malay lady who did just that. We used to work together. I did ask her once if she was brought up a muslim and she concurred. However, I dared not question her decision to lead an atheistic life now with her non-Muslim husband. While I know of some Indian Muslim guys from my reservist unit who were Muslims when I first met them, but have since, changed their names and seen wearing crosses. Another ex-colleague of mine re-converted back to Hinduism after his marriage broke down. I do wonder sometimes if the euphoria of our love for someone can be more compelling than our beliefs.
I'm not sure if I am daring enough to walk that path. I'm not even sure if I can love a girl more than I love my family. For me, if it ever came down to having to choose between the 2, I'd probably be plumping for the family, though, that in itself represents a gut-wrenching decision which I pray I'd never have to make. Luckily for me, my wife, despite her failings, loves me too much to ever put me through it. I just hope that those people who forsook their family for their love never have to go through a divorce as they'll have no family to turn to if the love they risked everything for breaks down
Oh, and I am not even talking about those Malays who confess to be Muslims, but do not live by it. Well, as the Mat Rock would say, "Lu punya kubur lu jaga, gua punya kubur gua jaga." (You worry of your grave, and I'll worry about mine)
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Marriage changes us
A friend asked me the other day if I would be willing to change a bad habit which my wife loathes. That took some thinking.
One bad habit I have of wiping my hands dry on my clothes after washing them instead of using a hand towel or a paper towel. My wife hates it and goes to great lengths to remind or chide me whenever I do it in front of her. Still, I do it occasionally.
It's not so much of a intentional thing to irritate her but it's a habit which I have been so used to since young, even my mom nagged me about it all the time. It's kinda automated - I look around for a towel or something and if I see nothing, the t-shirt or shorts seems OK. I believe that we all conciously try to improve ourselves but at times, we fall into that lulling sense of comfort that we revert back to the bad habits that has been ingrained.
When I was single, I didn't really care much about what people used to say about my bad habits. I thought, why should you care, you are not my mother. Funny thing is, I didn't really register much of what my mom used to nag at me either. There's this degree of indignance with which we regarded all manner of advice coming from those whom we think aren't qualified to judge us. I used to listen and cringe when girls tell me, I am who I am, and if a guy can't accept my flaws, then he doesn't deserve me. Or something along those lines.
Looking back, the need to be loved as we were was so paramount that it overshadowed everything else, including the wisdom of said advice. That idealistic thought of being loved for who we are often clouds our judgement. Most of the time, the very people uttering those indignant words can be found contradicting themselves later, attempting to change themselves when "the one" comes along.
Honestly, I was guilty of pretty much the same thing. I thought a girl should love me for who I am and accept all my flaws. Then, I got married and I realised that as much as she should love me for all that I am, I have to make sure she continues to love me by eradicating the bad habits and others that she doesn't like. I wish she thinks the same way too. At the end of the day, it's those little things in life that makes or breaks your life.
Marriage changes us in more ways than we realise. Some of us eradicate our bad habits, some cut ties with old friends the spouse is uncomfortable with, some would swallow their pride and take all the crap that comes while those who don't adapt, more often than not, don't last. As resistant we are to change, it is necessary.
One bad habit I have of wiping my hands dry on my clothes after washing them instead of using a hand towel or a paper towel. My wife hates it and goes to great lengths to remind or chide me whenever I do it in front of her. Still, I do it occasionally.
It's not so much of a intentional thing to irritate her but it's a habit which I have been so used to since young, even my mom nagged me about it all the time. It's kinda automated - I look around for a towel or something and if I see nothing, the t-shirt or shorts seems OK. I believe that we all conciously try to improve ourselves but at times, we fall into that lulling sense of comfort that we revert back to the bad habits that has been ingrained.
When I was single, I didn't really care much about what people used to say about my bad habits. I thought, why should you care, you are not my mother. Funny thing is, I didn't really register much of what my mom used to nag at me either. There's this degree of indignance with which we regarded all manner of advice coming from those whom we think aren't qualified to judge us. I used to listen and cringe when girls tell me, I am who I am, and if a guy can't accept my flaws, then he doesn't deserve me. Or something along those lines.
Looking back, the need to be loved as we were was so paramount that it overshadowed everything else, including the wisdom of said advice. That idealistic thought of being loved for who we are often clouds our judgement. Most of the time, the very people uttering those indignant words can be found contradicting themselves later, attempting to change themselves when "the one" comes along.
Honestly, I was guilty of pretty much the same thing. I thought a girl should love me for who I am and accept all my flaws. Then, I got married and I realised that as much as she should love me for all that I am, I have to make sure she continues to love me by eradicating the bad habits and others that she doesn't like. I wish she thinks the same way too. At the end of the day, it's those little things in life that makes or breaks your life.
Marriage changes us in more ways than we realise. Some of us eradicate our bad habits, some cut ties with old friends the spouse is uncomfortable with, some would swallow their pride and take all the crap that comes while those who don't adapt, more often than not, don't last. As resistant we are to change, it is necessary.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Sudden death
Before I begin my babbling, I'd like to offer my condolences to the familes of Rhys Jones and Antonio Puerta. It's sad to hear/read of their passing, especially of how it happened.
Rhys Jones was an 11 year old boy from Liverpool who was shot dead, presumably, by other teens on his way home after a football kickabout. Tragic. Antonio Puerta, a 22-year old professional footballer with Sevilla FC in Spain died 3 days after suffering a heart attack during a football match. Even more tragic is the revelation that he was about to be a father in 6 weeks. Doubt any pregnant wife can handle that loss at such a critical time in her life. Closer to home, a 17 yr old student , who happened to be the son of a colleague, died after collapsing at the finish line of a local triathlon meet. More recently, an Army captain died, also after collapsing at the finishing line of a 21km run.
What saddens me most is not so much that these people were so young and had bright futures, it's the loss felt by those left behind. I'm a guy and I can't imagine nor fathom the gamut of emotions gripping a heavily pregnant wife who's weeks away from delivering her first baby when told that her husband, father to her unborn child has died, even if the death has been inevitable for a few days. I think to describe her as distraught would be an injustice to her.
I'm yet to be a parent but I'm in no doubt that my colleague would have been as equally inconsolable when she first found out about her son's tragic passing. It's just tragic how such young lives with bright futures ahead of them, no doubt the ray of hope for their parents or spouses, had their lives cut short. I can only hope that those left behind is given the strength and courage to move on with life though I just can't begin to imagine having to cope with such a tragic loss.
At the end of the day, it's by His will that we are here and, by His will, we shall leave. As cheesy and antiquated as it may sound, we are all guilty of taking those we love for granted even when there are constant reminders to cherish them while they are still with us.
Rhys Jones was an 11 year old boy from Liverpool who was shot dead, presumably, by other teens on his way home after a football kickabout. Tragic. Antonio Puerta, a 22-year old professional footballer with Sevilla FC in Spain died 3 days after suffering a heart attack during a football match. Even more tragic is the revelation that he was about to be a father in 6 weeks. Doubt any pregnant wife can handle that loss at such a critical time in her life. Closer to home, a 17 yr old student , who happened to be the son of a colleague, died after collapsing at the finish line of a local triathlon meet. More recently, an Army captain died, also after collapsing at the finishing line of a 21km run.
What saddens me most is not so much that these people were so young and had bright futures, it's the loss felt by those left behind. I'm a guy and I can't imagine nor fathom the gamut of emotions gripping a heavily pregnant wife who's weeks away from delivering her first baby when told that her husband, father to her unborn child has died, even if the death has been inevitable for a few days. I think to describe her as distraught would be an injustice to her.
I'm yet to be a parent but I'm in no doubt that my colleague would have been as equally inconsolable when she first found out about her son's tragic passing. It's just tragic how such young lives with bright futures ahead of them, no doubt the ray of hope for their parents or spouses, had their lives cut short. I can only hope that those left behind is given the strength and courage to move on with life though I just can't begin to imagine having to cope with such a tragic loss.
At the end of the day, it's by His will that we are here and, by His will, we shall leave. As cheesy and antiquated as it may sound, we are all guilty of taking those we love for granted even when there are constant reminders to cherish them while they are still with us.
Sudden Death
Before I begin my babbling, I'd like to offer my condolences to the familes of Rhys Jones and Antonio Puerta. It's sad to hear/read of their passing, especially of how it happened.
Rhys Jones was an 11 year old boy from Liverpool who was shot dead, presumably, by other teens on his way home after a football kickabout. Tragic. Antonio Puerta, a 22-year old professional footballer with Sevilla FC in Spain died 3 days after suffering a heart attack during a football match. Even more tragic is the revelation that he was about to be a father in 6 weeks. Doubt any pregnant wife can handle that loss at such a critical time in her life. Closer to home, a 17 yr old student , who happened to be the son of a colleague, died after collapsing at the finish line of a local triathlon meet. More recently, an Army captain died, also after collapsing at the finishing line of a 21km run.
What saddens me most is not so much that these people were so young and had bright futures, it's the loss felt by those left behind. I'm a guy and I can't imagine nor fathom the gamut of emotions gripping a heavily pregnant wife who's weeks away from delivering her first baby when told that her husband, father to her unborn child has died, even if the death has been inevitable for a few days. I think to describe her as distraught would be an injustice to her.
I'm yet to be a parent but I'm in no doubt that my colleague would have been as equally inconsolable when she first found out about her son's tragic passing. It's just tragic how such young lives with bright futures ahead of them, no doubt the ray of hope for their parents or spouses, had their lives cut short. I can only hope that those left behind is given the strength and courage to move on with life though I just can't begin to imagine having to cope with such a tragic loss.
At the end of the day, it's by His will that we are here and, by His will, we shall leave. As cheesy and antiquated as it may sound, we are all guilty of taking those we love for granted even when there are constant reminders to cherish them while they are still with us.
Rhys Jones was an 11 year old boy from Liverpool who was shot dead, presumably, by other teens on his way home after a football kickabout. Tragic. Antonio Puerta, a 22-year old professional footballer with Sevilla FC in Spain died 3 days after suffering a heart attack during a football match. Even more tragic is the revelation that he was about to be a father in 6 weeks. Doubt any pregnant wife can handle that loss at such a critical time in her life. Closer to home, a 17 yr old student , who happened to be the son of a colleague, died after collapsing at the finish line of a local triathlon meet. More recently, an Army captain died, also after collapsing at the finishing line of a 21km run.
What saddens me most is not so much that these people were so young and had bright futures, it's the loss felt by those left behind. I'm a guy and I can't imagine nor fathom the gamut of emotions gripping a heavily pregnant wife who's weeks away from delivering her first baby when told that her husband, father to her unborn child has died, even if the death has been inevitable for a few days. I think to describe her as distraught would be an injustice to her.
I'm yet to be a parent but I'm in no doubt that my colleague would have been as equally inconsolable when she first found out about her son's tragic passing. It's just tragic how such young lives with bright futures ahead of them, no doubt the ray of hope for their parents or spouses, had their lives cut short. I can only hope that those left behind is given the strength and courage to move on with life though I just can't begin to imagine having to cope with such a tragic loss.
At the end of the day, it's by His will that we are here and, by His will, we shall leave. As cheesy and antiquated as it may sound, we are all guilty of taking those we love for granted even when there are constant reminders to cherish them while they are still with us.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Patience: Sign of strength or weakness
Just a little patience....Axl Rose sang.
Some people have it in abundance. I'd like to think I'm one of them. I mean I know everyone has patience, some with a higher emotional threshold before they burst at the seams. Not everyone can remain calm after being hit at the back of the head with a metal pipe out of the blue. That story's for another day though.
Patience is a double-edged sword. While some see it as a strength of one's character, others may see it as a sign of weakness or of gross meekness. Take my example. My inaction at being hit with a metal pipe can be seen as a sign of mental toughness in not reacting to such provocation or as a sign of my fear for fights, aka, cowardice.
How we define it to be depends on how well we know the person displaying that patience. In my case, those close to me would probably say that it was my strength in character in not responding, while those close to the agent provocateur would probably say I was scared to retaliate. Whichever way you see it, I'm pretty sure I'd have whooped his ass had I retaliated. Enough about that though.
Some things happened over the weekend also tested the limits of my patience. I'm not going to talk about it in detail right now because of a promise I made. However, it would be suffice to say it's a story that would never go away. Unfortunate me. It's just something I have to live with, though not necessarily mean having to reconcile with. While chatting with some friends, I said something which made me think again, " It's like having to deal with one problem isn't a stiff enough test for me, God decided that 2+1 would be a better test."
As much as I know and believe that one marries into a family and never just the person alone, I do wish that I can choose my family members at times. I guess it's all part of His grand design he has for all of us. For me, it's dealing with the people around me for whom I have neither care nor love for. I know that I have to remain patient for my wife and, especially, my baby's sake.
Please God, give me the strength to overcome this test you have given me with my dignity and sanity intact. Amin Ya Rabbal Al Amin.
Some people have it in abundance. I'd like to think I'm one of them. I mean I know everyone has patience, some with a higher emotional threshold before they burst at the seams. Not everyone can remain calm after being hit at the back of the head with a metal pipe out of the blue. That story's for another day though.
Patience is a double-edged sword. While some see it as a strength of one's character, others may see it as a sign of weakness or of gross meekness. Take my example. My inaction at being hit with a metal pipe can be seen as a sign of mental toughness in not reacting to such provocation or as a sign of my fear for fights, aka, cowardice.
How we define it to be depends on how well we know the person displaying that patience. In my case, those close to me would probably say that it was my strength in character in not responding, while those close to the agent provocateur would probably say I was scared to retaliate. Whichever way you see it, I'm pretty sure I'd have whooped his ass had I retaliated. Enough about that though.
Some things happened over the weekend also tested the limits of my patience. I'm not going to talk about it in detail right now because of a promise I made. However, it would be suffice to say it's a story that would never go away. Unfortunate me. It's just something I have to live with, though not necessarily mean having to reconcile with. While chatting with some friends, I said something which made me think again, " It's like having to deal with one problem isn't a stiff enough test for me, God decided that 2+1 would be a better test."
As much as I know and believe that one marries into a family and never just the person alone, I do wish that I can choose my family members at times. I guess it's all part of His grand design he has for all of us. For me, it's dealing with the people around me for whom I have neither care nor love for. I know that I have to remain patient for my wife and, especially, my baby's sake.
Please God, give me the strength to overcome this test you have given me with my dignity and sanity intact. Amin Ya Rabbal Al Amin.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Missionaries and dreams
23 South Koreans left for Afghanistan for what they called a humanitarian mission. Now, 21 are left huddled together in some desolate place in the middle of nowehere. Meanwhile, the South Korean government are willing to negotiate with terrorists in order to secure the release of their nationals.
I was watching the news yesterday and it showed clips of the distraught relatives of the first man who was killed. Apparently, they were there on humanitarian missions and denied strenuously that they were there for missionary work. That raises a question in itself. Who in the right mind, without mush governmental support would go into what is practically still a combat zone to do humanitarian missions, unless they are protected??
I, personally, doubt the veracity of their statements of the exact nature of their mission, considering that they were there as a church group and the first to be shot was a pastor. But that's just me, ever the skeptic. It has since emerged that a second man has been shot dead, an IT worker. I just wonder where the doctors or nurses are in this rag tag bunch of aid workers. There was no mention of them going under the auspices of any UN aid team or Mercy Relief or other NGOs. It's just 23 church goers. Hmmmmmmmmm.......no missionary work eh?
On to something more pertinent to life.........me!! Narcissistic me!!
Well, as mentioned in passing in my previous entry, I bought a new bed, well, actually I changed my whole bedroom set out of necessity. In the meantime, my evil twin was tempting good old me into upsizing our baby. I mean, the car. Yeah, I was tempted to do so. Especially after seeing a few of my friends driving the same car upgrading recently. Did some scouting and fell in love with the Suzuki SX4 and Hyundai Avante. Damn, they are fine. For a while, I dreamed of driving around town with either one.
After doing some scouting and doing a bit, actually a lot, of calculations, it dawned on me that ditching my current swanky ride, would mean having to forkout roughly $7k cash after trade in. Gulp. Wifey wasn't too excited about that prospect especially with Baby on the way. Come to think of it, I can make do with this car for 5 more years. I've gone to more places with her in the last 2 years than I could have even imagined. Sure, we could use the extra boot space and a lil more legroom, but in the end, common sense prevailed.
It's all about practicality. What's the point of paying so much more when the job gets done nontheless? What's the point of driving a dream car if it's beyond your means at the end of the day? At the end of it all, I realised that it's not practical getting a bigger car now when it's only me wifey and Baby using it mostly. So my dear Picanto, you'll be with me for a while yet. Maybe, we'll take Baby on a road trip soon.......
I was watching the news yesterday and it showed clips of the distraught relatives of the first man who was killed. Apparently, they were there on humanitarian missions and denied strenuously that they were there for missionary work. That raises a question in itself. Who in the right mind, without mush governmental support would go into what is practically still a combat zone to do humanitarian missions, unless they are protected??
I, personally, doubt the veracity of their statements of the exact nature of their mission, considering that they were there as a church group and the first to be shot was a pastor. But that's just me, ever the skeptic. It has since emerged that a second man has been shot dead, an IT worker. I just wonder where the doctors or nurses are in this rag tag bunch of aid workers. There was no mention of them going under the auspices of any UN aid team or Mercy Relief or other NGOs. It's just 23 church goers. Hmmmmmmmmm.......no missionary work eh?
On to something more pertinent to life.........me!! Narcissistic me!!
Well, as mentioned in passing in my previous entry, I bought a new bed, well, actually I changed my whole bedroom set out of necessity. In the meantime, my evil twin was tempting good old me into upsizing our baby. I mean, the car. Yeah, I was tempted to do so. Especially after seeing a few of my friends driving the same car upgrading recently. Did some scouting and fell in love with the Suzuki SX4 and Hyundai Avante. Damn, they are fine. For a while, I dreamed of driving around town with either one.
After doing some scouting and doing a bit, actually a lot, of calculations, it dawned on me that ditching my current swanky ride, would mean having to forkout roughly $7k cash after trade in. Gulp. Wifey wasn't too excited about that prospect especially with Baby on the way. Come to think of it, I can make do with this car for 5 more years. I've gone to more places with her in the last 2 years than I could have even imagined. Sure, we could use the extra boot space and a lil more legroom, but in the end, common sense prevailed.
It's all about practicality. What's the point of paying so much more when the job gets done nontheless? What's the point of driving a dream car if it's beyond your means at the end of the day? At the end of it all, I realised that it's not practical getting a bigger car now when it's only me wifey and Baby using it mostly. So my dear Picanto, you'll be with me for a while yet. Maybe, we'll take Baby on a road trip soon.......
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
My personal preparation for her
Happy thoughts!!! Time for happy thoughts!!!
Yeah, well, at a time when I'm preparing myself for my biggest challenge so far, I could do without negative thoughts. It's proving more difficult to achieve than just thinking about it. At times when my thoughts are supposed to be calm, I find myself swearing at other people, especially when I'm driving. No, I'm not about to launch another tirade at idiotic drivers or fire another broadside at inconsiderate drivers.
3 .5 months more to being a daddy and the stress of it is piling up. I am beginning to shudder at the thought of waking at night for a diaper change. I am fearing those long nights trying to put her to bed. And I am having nightmares at having to confront myself with what's left in the diaper when I take a peek over the hedges. In spite of all my fears, this is one responsibility I'm not going to shirk, not that I shirked any of my previous responsibilities before.
As with all things new which we come across in various stages in our lives, we adapt. We all adapted when we moved to a new school after PSLE, the same thing happened after our O-levels. Things changed and we all adapted. Fatherhood is no different. It's just another stage, just another level up. A step up that's eagerly anticipated, horror stories from other parents notwithstanding.
Wifey's belly growing bigger and I've begun communicating with her via Morse Code on top of the nightly talks coaxing her to sleep and not give her mummy sleepless nights. She's been a good girl thus far and have been listening to me. That's daddy's girl. Most importantly, wifey doesn't have trouble sleeping or eating. Oh, and we got ourselves a new bedroom set for our room. King-size bed some more!!!
The current sets' going to the spare room. It's not that the set we have is falling apart, it's just that we needed a bigger closet than our current 5 foot 3 inches closet could afford us. Daddy's girl's arrival only hastened that process of changing our bedroom set. Yeap, some movement of furniture expected in the coming weeks. In any case, I have managed to convinced wifey to ask her parents to stay with us during her confinement. Thus, the need for a closet and bed for them. Rather than get a small bed for them, we might as well get a bigger bed for us!!!
Yeah, well, at a time when I'm preparing myself for my biggest challenge so far, I could do without negative thoughts. It's proving more difficult to achieve than just thinking about it. At times when my thoughts are supposed to be calm, I find myself swearing at other people, especially when I'm driving. No, I'm not about to launch another tirade at idiotic drivers or fire another broadside at inconsiderate drivers.
3 .5 months more to being a daddy and the stress of it is piling up. I am beginning to shudder at the thought of waking at night for a diaper change. I am fearing those long nights trying to put her to bed. And I am having nightmares at having to confront myself with what's left in the diaper when I take a peek over the hedges. In spite of all my fears, this is one responsibility I'm not going to shirk, not that I shirked any of my previous responsibilities before.
As with all things new which we come across in various stages in our lives, we adapt. We all adapted when we moved to a new school after PSLE, the same thing happened after our O-levels. Things changed and we all adapted. Fatherhood is no different. It's just another stage, just another level up. A step up that's eagerly anticipated, horror stories from other parents notwithstanding.
Wifey's belly growing bigger and I've begun communicating with her via Morse Code on top of the nightly talks coaxing her to sleep and not give her mummy sleepless nights. She's been a good girl thus far and have been listening to me. That's daddy's girl. Most importantly, wifey doesn't have trouble sleeping or eating. Oh, and we got ourselves a new bedroom set for our room. King-size bed some more!!!
The current sets' going to the spare room. It's not that the set we have is falling apart, it's just that we needed a bigger closet than our current 5 foot 3 inches closet could afford us. Daddy's girl's arrival only hastened that process of changing our bedroom set. Yeap, some movement of furniture expected in the coming weeks. In any case, I have managed to convinced wifey to ask her parents to stay with us during her confinement. Thus, the need for a closet and bed for them. Rather than get a small bed for them, we might as well get a bigger bed for us!!!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
To Sir with luck
Sir Salman Mustdie......err...I mean Sir Salman Rushdie. That 3 letter word suffixed to the writer's name has caused an uproar and triggered protests in many parts of the Muslim world. Born to Muslim parents in Mumbai, the controversy he stirred will always be remembered generations after he's gone. And now a knighthood to boot?
UK has honoured a novelist, who will always be remembered as The writer with a death sentence over his head. I guess it's UK's right to honour him, no matter how trivial his works were to me. Apart from The Satanic Verses, for which he was sentenced to death, and whose sentence can not be repealed as the guy who sentenced him in the first place, Ayatollah Khomeini, is dead, I am hard-pressed to name his other literary works. I have yet to read The Satanic Verses and I have no inclination to do so at all.
My perplexed mind is still trying to understand the justifications for his knighthood. Granted, I'm no literary expert but to be given a knighthood for "Services to Literature" would mean he had to do something really grand. Probably, something on par with what Sir Isaac Newton achieved. Not only do I feel that he falls short of a deserving knighthood, he is nowhere close. Islamic-sensitivities aside, I can't think of his supposed services that warrants a knighthood apart from his sacreligious book. If controversy is the name of his justification, then UK deserves all the backlash it is geting right now.
Then again, I am a little surprised at the reactions coming from all over the world. Yes, I agree that it is deplorable and untimely that UK has decided to award him the knighthood. However, the reactions to the award are equally uncalled for and does nothing to alleviate the problem. What I mean to say is that in the face of Islamic extremism, such reactions are only playing into the hands of extremists. It is a widely accepted fact that extremism is misguided but still Muslims around the world are prone to such knee-jerk reactions. I'm sure Salman is sitting somewhere in London, drinking his cup of tea and having hearty laugh at all the furore that surrounds his knighthood.
I say let Salman get his knigthood. So what if some buffoons think he is a deserving recipient of such awards? It only serves to dilute the prestige of such an award when someone as controversial as Salman gets that award. Furthermore, it's not like he could command more respect or he'll get richer. I couldn't care less about it not because I don't care that my Prophet is slandered but I think there are bigger issues for us to worry about than some so-called literary giant's knighthood.
To Sir Salman Rushdie, good luck dealing with all the hatred and anger and possible assasinations attempts.
UK has honoured a novelist, who will always be remembered as The writer with a death sentence over his head. I guess it's UK's right to honour him, no matter how trivial his works were to me. Apart from The Satanic Verses, for which he was sentenced to death, and whose sentence can not be repealed as the guy who sentenced him in the first place, Ayatollah Khomeini, is dead, I am hard-pressed to name his other literary works. I have yet to read The Satanic Verses and I have no inclination to do so at all.
My perplexed mind is still trying to understand the justifications for his knighthood. Granted, I'm no literary expert but to be given a knighthood for "Services to Literature" would mean he had to do something really grand. Probably, something on par with what Sir Isaac Newton achieved. Not only do I feel that he falls short of a deserving knighthood, he is nowhere close. Islamic-sensitivities aside, I can't think of his supposed services that warrants a knighthood apart from his sacreligious book. If controversy is the name of his justification, then UK deserves all the backlash it is geting right now.
Then again, I am a little surprised at the reactions coming from all over the world. Yes, I agree that it is deplorable and untimely that UK has decided to award him the knighthood. However, the reactions to the award are equally uncalled for and does nothing to alleviate the problem. What I mean to say is that in the face of Islamic extremism, such reactions are only playing into the hands of extremists. It is a widely accepted fact that extremism is misguided but still Muslims around the world are prone to such knee-jerk reactions. I'm sure Salman is sitting somewhere in London, drinking his cup of tea and having hearty laugh at all the furore that surrounds his knighthood.
I say let Salman get his knigthood. So what if some buffoons think he is a deserving recipient of such awards? It only serves to dilute the prestige of such an award when someone as controversial as Salman gets that award. Furthermore, it's not like he could command more respect or he'll get richer. I couldn't care less about it not because I don't care that my Prophet is slandered but I think there are bigger issues for us to worry about than some so-called literary giant's knighthood.
To Sir Salman Rushdie, good luck dealing with all the hatred and anger and possible assasinations attempts.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
LTA should designate a lane for As*****es
I'm back...
Back to talking about my pet peeve. No, it's not about my in-laws. It's about those inconsiderate drivers. In the space of less than 24 hours I have had 4 different vehicles try to sideswipe me. OK, I'll admit it's not as bad on hindsight. Still, they are dangerous and not forgetting a menace. Who cares if you are running late? The prerogative is on you to make ure you aren't late. That still doesn't give you the approval of the other road users to drive like you own the roads.
First, there was this taxi - it almost always is a taxi, isn't it? - who, along Bedok Reservoir Road, just past the viaduct, swerved into my lane when I was centimetres behind him, to his right. And without signalling too. I didn't honk at him because I kind of expected he would do that judging from the way he drove just moments earlier. He was changing lanes and can't stick to his lane. I wondered where he learnt to drive. Then there was another taxi, again, yesterday night along Bukit Batok Road swerved into my lane immediately upon signalling while I was centimeters behind him, again to his right. This time I did honk at him, hard - for 5 long seconds. He just gave a sheepish look and waved to say sorry - I think.
This morning along the PIE a 15-foot lorry swerved into my lane along the PIE also in the same situation as the 2 taxis the night before. I did honk at him, but soon he disappeared, swerving in and out of lanes at high speeds. The moment I saw him speed off, I just eased my foot off the pedal and went alongs with the rest of the traffic. Damn that guy was a maniac. The last guy to cross my path was a pickup along Lavendar Street opposite of Singapore Casket. Nice place to drive dangerously. In front of me was a motorcyclist who was riding in a leisurely manner on the middle lane. This pickup swerved beside the motorcyclist, forcing the motorcyclist to move to the right lane. And again, this was centimeters in fromnt of me. So, I honked. Then I overtook the pickup on his right and looked at him. And he stared back at me, as if saying What? You got a problem???
I was so pissed. Sometimes, I wish I could mount a camera on my dash and record all these and then forward it to the TP or LTA for them to take action. It just pisses me off that such people are allowed to drive. One can draw parallels between the number of assholes we have on the road and the number of accidents involving them. So, if we could take these assholes, accidents would be so much of a rarity. And while we're at it, why not have tougher penalties for drink drivers, reckless drivers and assholes. A designated lane for them or a permanent mark on their vehicles which sets them apart, so the rest of us could avoid them when we see them.
Well, I know there are bound to be such people wherever we go, but singling them out clearly would make it safer for the rest of us. I mean they are already doing that for molesters and rapists by publishing their pictures in the mass media. A permanent tag would make it easier to identify them in public rather than to depend on picture posted on the papers.
Back to talking about my pet peeve. No, it's not about my in-laws. It's about those inconsiderate drivers. In the space of less than 24 hours I have had 4 different vehicles try to sideswipe me. OK, I'll admit it's not as bad on hindsight. Still, they are dangerous and not forgetting a menace. Who cares if you are running late? The prerogative is on you to make ure you aren't late. That still doesn't give you the approval of the other road users to drive like you own the roads.
First, there was this taxi - it almost always is a taxi, isn't it? - who, along Bedok Reservoir Road, just past the viaduct, swerved into my lane when I was centimetres behind him, to his right. And without signalling too. I didn't honk at him because I kind of expected he would do that judging from the way he drove just moments earlier. He was changing lanes and can't stick to his lane. I wondered where he learnt to drive. Then there was another taxi, again, yesterday night along Bukit Batok Road swerved into my lane immediately upon signalling while I was centimeters behind him, again to his right. This time I did honk at him, hard - for 5 long seconds. He just gave a sheepish look and waved to say sorry - I think.
This morning along the PIE a 15-foot lorry swerved into my lane along the PIE also in the same situation as the 2 taxis the night before. I did honk at him, but soon he disappeared, swerving in and out of lanes at high speeds. The moment I saw him speed off, I just eased my foot off the pedal and went alongs with the rest of the traffic. Damn that guy was a maniac. The last guy to cross my path was a pickup along Lavendar Street opposite of Singapore Casket. Nice place to drive dangerously. In front of me was a motorcyclist who was riding in a leisurely manner on the middle lane. This pickup swerved beside the motorcyclist, forcing the motorcyclist to move to the right lane. And again, this was centimeters in fromnt of me. So, I honked. Then I overtook the pickup on his right and looked at him. And he stared back at me, as if saying What? You got a problem???
I was so pissed. Sometimes, I wish I could mount a camera on my dash and record all these and then forward it to the TP or LTA for them to take action. It just pisses me off that such people are allowed to drive. One can draw parallels between the number of assholes we have on the road and the number of accidents involving them. So, if we could take these assholes, accidents would be so much of a rarity. And while we're at it, why not have tougher penalties for drink drivers, reckless drivers and assholes. A designated lane for them or a permanent mark on their vehicles which sets them apart, so the rest of us could avoid them when we see them.
Well, I know there are bound to be such people wherever we go, but singling them out clearly would make it safer for the rest of us. I mean they are already doing that for molesters and rapists by publishing their pictures in the mass media. A permanent tag would make it easier to identify them in public rather than to depend on picture posted on the papers.
Friday, May 11, 2007
I'd rather have bad lady drivers on the roads
A friend messageed me the other day on my IM. Her husband and her was contemplating buy a car because it was becoming a necessity rather than a luxury. With 2 kids and her husband having to travel to the other end of the island, it seems like a necessary expense. Problem is her husband is yet to get a licence. As such, any car purchase was to be done when her husband has obtained a licence to drive.
Somewhere along the discussion, the topic shifted to one about bad lady drivers and the stigma that goes along with it. She was telling me how harrowing it can be sitting on the passenger side of a Hyundai Tuscon being driven by a lady driver who is bad with directions. Those who know me will attest to the fact that I don't normally have a high regard of lady drivers and this stems not so much from hearsay but from the 12 years I have been riding and driving. The thing is, no matter what anyone says, out of every 10 instances of bad driving I encounter, at least 4 could be attributed to bad lady drivers.
Yeah, I already hear the knives being sharpened by lady drivers with the devilish look on their eyes.
In spite of their bad driving and the occasional driving up the road against the flow of traffic, I'd much rather have the bad lady drivers than the inconsiderate male drivers. My dislike for taxi drivers is well-documented. However, that dislike actually extends to those inconsiderate drivers who like to tailgate, race on the roads and drink and drive. And they, mostly, are the males. I admit it. Being a male driver, I too, experience the sudden surge of testosterone whenever my ego is bruised by those who want to enforce their belief that they are better drivers than I am, by tailgating my car while I'm already hitting 100kmh.
Just yesterday, Christopher Lee, the actor, got jailed for drink driving. He's lucky in the sense that in his case no one got killed. Still, there are no excuses for such excesses. I mean you want to endanger your life by racing, go ahead, just don't do it on the roads where there are others using it as well. You want to feel the thrill of speeding, go ahead, just not on our roads where other road users can also be endangered by your rash acts. It's worse if people get killed. And people do get killed.
My anger does not end there. Recently, there was a report of this allegedly drunk guy crashing his car into a busstop at Penang Road. The best part was that he was sheepish about it when asked if he was speeding. Not only was he irresponsible, he was indignant about it too. To me, we have no place for such irresponsible behaviour in our society. It's one thing to be drink-driving, it's another to shrug it off. It's as if other people's lives aren't as important. Damn bloody selfish.
For the lady drivers, as bad as they can be behind the wheel, you are still responsible drivers - mostly.
Somewhere along the discussion, the topic shifted to one about bad lady drivers and the stigma that goes along with it. She was telling me how harrowing it can be sitting on the passenger side of a Hyundai Tuscon being driven by a lady driver who is bad with directions. Those who know me will attest to the fact that I don't normally have a high regard of lady drivers and this stems not so much from hearsay but from the 12 years I have been riding and driving. The thing is, no matter what anyone says, out of every 10 instances of bad driving I encounter, at least 4 could be attributed to bad lady drivers.
Yeah, I already hear the knives being sharpened by lady drivers with the devilish look on their eyes.
In spite of their bad driving and the occasional driving up the road against the flow of traffic, I'd much rather have the bad lady drivers than the inconsiderate male drivers. My dislike for taxi drivers is well-documented. However, that dislike actually extends to those inconsiderate drivers who like to tailgate, race on the roads and drink and drive. And they, mostly, are the males. I admit it. Being a male driver, I too, experience the sudden surge of testosterone whenever my ego is bruised by those who want to enforce their belief that they are better drivers than I am, by tailgating my car while I'm already hitting 100kmh.
Just yesterday, Christopher Lee, the actor, got jailed for drink driving. He's lucky in the sense that in his case no one got killed. Still, there are no excuses for such excesses. I mean you want to endanger your life by racing, go ahead, just don't do it on the roads where there are others using it as well. You want to feel the thrill of speeding, go ahead, just not on our roads where other road users can also be endangered by your rash acts. It's worse if people get killed. And people do get killed.
My anger does not end there. Recently, there was a report of this allegedly drunk guy crashing his car into a busstop at Penang Road. The best part was that he was sheepish about it when asked if he was speeding. Not only was he irresponsible, he was indignant about it too. To me, we have no place for such irresponsible behaviour in our society. It's one thing to be drink-driving, it's another to shrug it off. It's as if other people's lives aren't as important. Damn bloody selfish.
For the lady drivers, as bad as they can be behind the wheel, you are still responsible drivers - mostly.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Rubbing it rite
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Oh, how true that stands for me now. It seems that there was some unhappiness with regards to my previous rant about my dealing with my wife's crankiness.
One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.
I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon.
It seems that I have been misunderstood big time. Here's the thing for those of you who think you know me but dun really do. I am perfectly happy dealing with my wife's crankiness. It's a happy problem, much akin to Sir Alex Ferguson having a fully fit squad when facing AC Milan - I'm not going there now. I have been waiting patiently for 3.5 years to hear, "Congratulations sir, your wife is pregnant" and I'm not about to get rattled by a pregnant woman's crankiness and mood swings, especially when that woman happens to be my wife. I wasn't complaining about her being cranky, and neither was I unhappy that I have more cravings to deal with in the next few months. In fact, I look forward to the next months with the same trepidation I am still having.
When I typed those words, it was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek sort of comment. Instead, I was faced with the wrath of a friend of mine who said,"Women who are pregnant don't know they are cranky". OK, point taken. My wife, while initially displeased with what was written, understood what I meant to say after I had told her what I meant. C'mon, you don't honestly think that I'd label a friend an idiot for cheekily encouraging my wife to take advantage of her pregnancy to get me to do things for her. It's in the same tongue-in-cheek verve that I wrote my previous blog. Let me make it clear once again. I love my wife and I am damn ecstatic that she is pregnant, even with the extra baggage and everything. Enough about it tho.
I just hope my kids don't turn out like some of the kids I see and hear tho. I have a lot of friends who are teachers as I'm sure many Singaporeans do. And many of these teachers are family people themselves, with their own brood. One of these teacher friend of mine was complaining to me about how uncouth some of the students are nowadays. Their lack of sensitivity towards others and their lack of respect towards their teachers are appalling.
I have always believed that we are how we are brought up to be, nurture plays a far more important role than nature. Nurture moulds the mind and psyche while nature defines what we look like and where our strengths would be. If the nurture is lacking, no amount of natural intuition will make up for that lack of proper nurturing. I was really taken aback after reading her blog with regards to what her student mocked her with through his instant messenger. While such immaturity and insensitivity was to be expected given his broken home and lack of fatherly figure, the lackadaisical and nonchalant attitude of his elder cousin towards my friend's protestations about him was even more deplorable, especially considering that she is a teacher herself. If a close family member who happens to be a teacher just wouldn't care, who else would?
I respect the teachers who have persevered through the years to mould our nation. I really do. The kind of things they have to endure, especially from the worst amongst us, is not something many of us have the stomach for. Which is why I am sorry to hear this sort of things happening to the teachers I know. My friend just went thru a torrid and heart-wrenching time and for her student to mock her was totally uncalled-for. And I could understand why she felt the way she did. If it were me, I might just have been pushed over the edge.
Thankfully, I'm not a teacher.
One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.
I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon.
It seems that I have been misunderstood big time. Here's the thing for those of you who think you know me but dun really do. I am perfectly happy dealing with my wife's crankiness. It's a happy problem, much akin to Sir Alex Ferguson having a fully fit squad when facing AC Milan - I'm not going there now. I have been waiting patiently for 3.5 years to hear, "Congratulations sir, your wife is pregnant" and I'm not about to get rattled by a pregnant woman's crankiness and mood swings, especially when that woman happens to be my wife. I wasn't complaining about her being cranky, and neither was I unhappy that I have more cravings to deal with in the next few months. In fact, I look forward to the next months with the same trepidation I am still having.
When I typed those words, it was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek sort of comment. Instead, I was faced with the wrath of a friend of mine who said,"Women who are pregnant don't know they are cranky". OK, point taken. My wife, while initially displeased with what was written, understood what I meant to say after I had told her what I meant. C'mon, you don't honestly think that I'd label a friend an idiot for cheekily encouraging my wife to take advantage of her pregnancy to get me to do things for her. It's in the same tongue-in-cheek verve that I wrote my previous blog. Let me make it clear once again. I love my wife and I am damn ecstatic that she is pregnant, even with the extra baggage and everything. Enough about it tho.
I just hope my kids don't turn out like some of the kids I see and hear tho. I have a lot of friends who are teachers as I'm sure many Singaporeans do. And many of these teachers are family people themselves, with their own brood. One of these teacher friend of mine was complaining to me about how uncouth some of the students are nowadays. Their lack of sensitivity towards others and their lack of respect towards their teachers are appalling.
I have always believed that we are how we are brought up to be, nurture plays a far more important role than nature. Nurture moulds the mind and psyche while nature defines what we look like and where our strengths would be. If the nurture is lacking, no amount of natural intuition will make up for that lack of proper nurturing. I was really taken aback after reading her blog with regards to what her student mocked her with through his instant messenger. While such immaturity and insensitivity was to be expected given his broken home and lack of fatherly figure, the lackadaisical and nonchalant attitude of his elder cousin towards my friend's protestations about him was even more deplorable, especially considering that she is a teacher herself. If a close family member who happens to be a teacher just wouldn't care, who else would?
I respect the teachers who have persevered through the years to mould our nation. I really do. The kind of things they have to endure, especially from the worst amongst us, is not something many of us have the stomach for. Which is why I am sorry to hear this sort of things happening to the teachers I know. My friend just went thru a torrid and heart-wrenching time and for her student to mock her was totally uncalled-for. And I could understand why she felt the way she did. If it were me, I might just have been pushed over the edge.
Thankfully, I'm not a teacher.
Monday, April 30, 2007
A Bush and a swim
Been a while since I said anything with regards to current affairs. OK, I'm not the world expert on such things but I'm still entitled to my opinions once in a while. I think the current big news circulating is about how Bush has become embattled in his own country since the revelations that they screwed up big time over the allegations that the late Iraqi dictator , Saddam Hussein, was on his way to procuring weapons of mass destruction.
I have always felt strongly about Bush Jr. Somehow, I have the feeling that there are hidden agenda behind the so-called Liberation of Iraq. It's like there is unfinished business from Bush Sr's tenure in the hot seat. Even when faced with mounting pressure from his home fans, it seems like he is doing a Saddam now - defiance in the face of adversity.
Talking about adversity, the recent spate of drownings here have given cause to the calls for lifeguards to be stationed on our pristine beaches. Well, in all honesty, why bother? No, it's not because I'm a depraved and sadistic looney-bin who would rather see more people dead. Rather, it's a bit of an over-reaction to be calling for lifeguards to patrol that stretch. I mean, how many lifeguards are required to patrol the beaches? While I share the sadness and grief of those who lost, such calls border on idiocy. They can't possibly cover the whole stretch.
And what happens if a drowning occurs at one end of the beach while the lifeguards are on their rounds at the other end of the beach? Should we pin the blame on the ineffective lifeguards. East Coast Park is one long stretch of beach. Pity the guards patrolling that stretch. I just hope that if they do implement this, their uniforms would replicate those we saw on Baywatch. And I'm referring to the Pamela Anderson suits, not David Hasselhoff. I'd avoid ECP like a plague if I ever see or hear of any David Hasselhoff wannabes.
While it is sad and avoidable, such accident will continue to happen as long as there is that adventurous streak in us all. And while it is lamentable, it does not bear any merit to start an over-reaction like calling for lifeguards to be stationed permanently.
I have always felt strongly about Bush Jr. Somehow, I have the feeling that there are hidden agenda behind the so-called Liberation of Iraq. It's like there is unfinished business from Bush Sr's tenure in the hot seat. Even when faced with mounting pressure from his home fans, it seems like he is doing a Saddam now - defiance in the face of adversity.
Talking about adversity, the recent spate of drownings here have given cause to the calls for lifeguards to be stationed on our pristine beaches. Well, in all honesty, why bother? No, it's not because I'm a depraved and sadistic looney-bin who would rather see more people dead. Rather, it's a bit of an over-reaction to be calling for lifeguards to patrol that stretch. I mean, how many lifeguards are required to patrol the beaches? While I share the sadness and grief of those who lost, such calls border on idiocy. They can't possibly cover the whole stretch.
And what happens if a drowning occurs at one end of the beach while the lifeguards are on their rounds at the other end of the beach? Should we pin the blame on the ineffective lifeguards. East Coast Park is one long stretch of beach. Pity the guards patrolling that stretch. I just hope that if they do implement this, their uniforms would replicate those we saw on Baywatch. And I'm referring to the Pamela Anderson suits, not David Hasselhoff. I'd avoid ECP like a plague if I ever see or hear of any David Hasselhoff wannabes.
While it is sad and avoidable, such accident will continue to happen as long as there is that adventurous streak in us all. And while it is lamentable, it does not bear any merit to start an over-reaction like calling for lifeguards to be stationed permanently.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
5 weeks since
5 weeks on and I'm chugging along. Life's been pretty sedentary, as it's always been - which only serves to expand my waistline some more. Note to self; time to dust off the running shoes.
Who am I kidding??
I haven't been leading a healthy lifestyle. The last time I really exercised was during my NS. In the 7 years since I finished my NS, I have yet to touch a ball, and I mean football, you yellow-minded freak! Admittedly, there were the half-hearted attempts at starting jogging, but it stopped before it ever got going. Yeah, I know it's not healthy and every second I delay, the closer I get to death. That's the thing that bothers me. Every now and then we read about people dying while exercising or doing some sports and they are relatively fitter than I am. So, I figured that if people go through all that trouble to exercise to stay slim and keep fit, only to die young, I might as well stay fat all the rest of my life and enjoy my remaining time here.
Then it happened.
Yeap, my wife got pregnant. Congratulatory messages aside, I started to feel that added responsibility. A responsibility to live as long as could to watch my unborn child grow up. That got me thinking and realising that a change has to take place in my life - for the good of my family. OK, back to the congratulatory messages. No doubt I'm grateful to my friends who have made the effort to congratulate me. One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.
Honestly though, it's been a tough few weeks for both of us getting used to being parents-to-be. I mean, it's one thing loving to play with babies but it's a whole different thing to taking care of one. I, for one, while excited, am facing it with silent trepidation. It's like your first day in a new job. Insecurity is something that hangs over you like a dark cloud. You just can't seem to shake it off on that first day. Being married and enjoying 3.5 years without added responsibility, this happy event has begun to effect some expected changes on me.
I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon. A friend commented that I am more matured and more patient in my outlook of life than, perhaps, she expected me to be. Right now, I can't be bothered about maturity, I just hope her observation about my patience is not skewed. Otherwise, I'm in pretty deep shit.
Who am I kidding??
I haven't been leading a healthy lifestyle. The last time I really exercised was during my NS. In the 7 years since I finished my NS, I have yet to touch a ball, and I mean football, you yellow-minded freak! Admittedly, there were the half-hearted attempts at starting jogging, but it stopped before it ever got going. Yeah, I know it's not healthy and every second I delay, the closer I get to death. That's the thing that bothers me. Every now and then we read about people dying while exercising or doing some sports and they are relatively fitter than I am. So, I figured that if people go through all that trouble to exercise to stay slim and keep fit, only to die young, I might as well stay fat all the rest of my life and enjoy my remaining time here.
Then it happened.
Yeap, my wife got pregnant. Congratulatory messages aside, I started to feel that added responsibility. A responsibility to live as long as could to watch my unborn child grow up. That got me thinking and realising that a change has to take place in my life - for the good of my family. OK, back to the congratulatory messages. No doubt I'm grateful to my friends who have made the effort to congratulate me. One thing does bother me though, who's the idiot who asked my wife to take advantage of her condition and ask me for all sorts of things. I swear that she's getting crankier by the day. Oh, and so much more sensitive too.
Honestly though, it's been a tough few weeks for both of us getting used to being parents-to-be. I mean, it's one thing loving to play with babies but it's a whole different thing to taking care of one. I, for one, while excited, am facing it with silent trepidation. It's like your first day in a new job. Insecurity is something that hangs over you like a dark cloud. You just can't seem to shake it off on that first day. Being married and enjoying 3.5 years without added responsibility, this happy event has begun to effect some expected changes on me.
I'm still learning to deal with my wife's added crankiness, though she won't admit it. Unfortunately for me, she's just passed her first trimester, which means, the cravings would be kicking in anytime soon. A friend commented that I am more matured and more patient in my outlook of life than, perhaps, she expected me to be. Right now, I can't be bothered about maturity, I just hope her observation about my patience is not skewed. Otherwise, I'm in pretty deep shit.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
3 months on
Been 3 months since I last said something here. My longest hiatus yet. It's not that I have lost the verve to blog or post my views, it's just that too much has been going on around me and involving me that I have no idea what's important anymore.
Ok, that sounds far-fetched and quite improbable that so much revolves around me but it's true. To sum it all up, the 3 months was a cliched roller-coaster ride for me. I went from being somewhat-content to being down in the dumpster to being suddenly jolted into euphoric joy. Confused? Somewhere in those 3 months, so was I.
When I first started blogging, a lot of it was my anger and frustration at how my married life was panning out. And it showed. The blog was my way of letting her know how I felt and was a bridge of sorts in the breakdown of communications that happened back then. And boy, did I vent my frustrations. Those who did read it, will know exactly what I mean. Put it simply, I was close to the edge and the only thing that held me back was my love for her and my determination to work things out.
A year on, the whole situation played itself all over again. And that, too, after my parents left for their Haj. It was an understatement to say my mind was befuddled and everything around me was murky. Falling into the depths of despair, walking out was not just a feasible option, it seemed like a really good option then. For weeks, I was on the verge and constantly contemplating it. Thankfully, a friend stuck out the proverbial hand and helped me realise that I have lost track of I had been preaching all along. Love is a gift. You give all that you have without any expectation that your gifts will be reciprocated.
Let's just say I did work it out and things are looking every bit rosier. In fact, it's so rosy, there might be 3 of us before the year is out. Let's hope and pray it happens. (I think that was me releasing my pent-up frustrations)
It's funny how cliched life can get. As much as we think our life has hit the abyss and we feel like we are scraping the bottom of the barrel, it might not be as bad as we thought it was. For all you know the barrel might be overturned in a splitsecond and you are out of the rut. Yeap, the last 3 months were emotional to say the least, but I have realised that no matter how bad things may seem, there's always light at the end of the cliched tunnel.
Ok, that sounds far-fetched and quite improbable that so much revolves around me but it's true. To sum it all up, the 3 months was a cliched roller-coaster ride for me. I went from being somewhat-content to being down in the dumpster to being suddenly jolted into euphoric joy. Confused? Somewhere in those 3 months, so was I.
When I first started blogging, a lot of it was my anger and frustration at how my married life was panning out. And it showed. The blog was my way of letting her know how I felt and was a bridge of sorts in the breakdown of communications that happened back then. And boy, did I vent my frustrations. Those who did read it, will know exactly what I mean. Put it simply, I was close to the edge and the only thing that held me back was my love for her and my determination to work things out.
A year on, the whole situation played itself all over again. And that, too, after my parents left for their Haj. It was an understatement to say my mind was befuddled and everything around me was murky. Falling into the depths of despair, walking out was not just a feasible option, it seemed like a really good option then. For weeks, I was on the verge and constantly contemplating it. Thankfully, a friend stuck out the proverbial hand and helped me realise that I have lost track of I had been preaching all along. Love is a gift. You give all that you have without any expectation that your gifts will be reciprocated.
Let's just say I did work it out and things are looking every bit rosier. In fact, it's so rosy, there might be 3 of us before the year is out. Let's hope and pray it happens. (I think that was me releasing my pent-up frustrations)
It's funny how cliched life can get. As much as we think our life has hit the abyss and we feel like we are scraping the bottom of the barrel, it might not be as bad as we thought it was. For all you know the barrel might be overturned in a splitsecond and you are out of the rut. Yeap, the last 3 months were emotional to say the least, but I have realised that no matter how bad things may seem, there's always light at the end of the cliched tunnel.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)