We're a few days away from the big day. No, not the first ever Formula 1 night race. I'm referring to Aidilfitri. Well, the race is exciting in some ways but it can never be as exciting as celebrating Aidilfirti.....
For goodness sake, I'm gushing like 11-year old who can't stop thinking about duit collection. Lest, I forget, I'm 31 now and Aidilfitri has not been the same for me since I finished school. In fact, I don't remember receiving any green packets since I was 18. Even if I was offered, I'd kindly decline it from my elderly relatives, some of whom I hardly recognise, let alone know their names. When we were younger, Ramadhan was always about how many days of fasting we could manage and Syawal was definitely about how much moolah we could generate.
I could still remember being teased and taunted by my Muslim classmates if and when I skipped a day of fasting. The pressure was on us kids to maintain our inner strength by fasting.....oh, who am I kidding. It's all about avoiding the teasing and the taunting. Even if we could not fast the whole day, we'd try to keep up appearances just to look that we were indeed fasting by staying away from the canteen during recess. Plus the fact that constant reminders from our closer relatives that the kids who do not fast don't get to celebrate Aidilfitri - meaning no moolah. We did our fasting - but for all the wrong reasons.
Where it was once uncool not to be fasting, it seems to be even more uncool nowadays to be fasting. Too often have I seen young kids, barely out of their teens, walking hand-in-hand with their special one, cigarette in one hand, soft drink in the other hand. Just when I try to reason that probably the girl couldn't fast because of her period, the boy takes a long drag on his ciggie and gulps down the drink as soon as he exhales. Sometimes I ask myself, do these kid know they don't get to celebrate Aidilfitri if they don't fast?
The real meaning of Aidilfitri has been obscured by the excesses of today's youth. Where Aidilfitri was a supposed to be a celebration for the successful completion of fasting - an abstinence from our vice and excesses - it has become a commercial celebration for some, replete with the showcasing of new clothes and accesories, they may not wear again for another year. Then again, who am I to comment on it? I just hope my daughter doesn't fall into that spiral.
Another gripe I have about Aidilfitri, and this is played out year by year, is the question of where to go and when to go. No!!! Not the Bazaar in Geylang. I meant the destinations of the eve of Aidilfitri and the day itself - and I'm referring to which parents' house first on each day. Every year, the same question gets asked and the same conundrum strikes again. It's a conundrum that bugs and irks me all the same everytime. And almost without fail at least one of us ends up feeling like crap.
Every couple has their own way of dealing with this sticky issue. Sadly, after 5 years, we have yet to reach an agreeable plan we both can stick to every year. The only break was last Aidilfitri when she just gave birth and this issue didn't crop up - though a much bigger one played out in the end. I mean, me being the eldest son and her being the youngest and only daughter makes it just that bit harder to decide where our priority should lie. For me, it's clear that since I'm the eldest son, we should spend more time at my parent's place. For her, since she's the youngest and the only daughter, she is expected to help out her parents.
Blame it on filial piety. We both got our own set of parents and there's no denying that our individual sense of filial piety are at odds with each other. While we try to be fair to each other, that Holy Grail of of any relationshop - the common ground - is much harder to reach than anyone thought. Well, good luck to me then to find that common ground.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Racing through....
Ladies and Gentlemen, rev your engines!!!!
Yeap! Formula 1 weekend is finally here. Wait!!! Why am I getting excited??
Honestly, I've always thought that it was a waste of time to attend a motorsport event in person. I mean, why go to the races when you can probably only watch the part of the race where you are at while missing the action at other sections. Plus, the sky-high prices for the pit garage grandstand tickets are enough to put most people, bar the die-hards and the uber rich. I've always told myself that I would stay away from the Marina Bay area cos the crowds would probably be too much for me. In any case, I won't know who's in the lead at the races and all I'll get is just a ringing sensation in my ears and glazed eyes from watching the cars zoom by. So, come this weekend, you're more likely to find me trawling through the narrow walkways of the Ramadan Bazaar at Geylang Serai.
Speaking of which, I have yet to go there this year. That is, in itself, a record of sorts. I have always made it a point to soak up the atmosphere there, not to mention the sights, sounds and, urgh, smells of sweat and smoke. This year, however, I have put that off till the very last weekend of Ramadan. Not that I have lost the spirit for festivities, rather, it's the presence of my daughter that puts me off going there. The small walkways and the claustrophobic surroundings can freak an adult out, more so, a baby. On one hand, I wanted to expose her to the bazaar but on the other hand, I'm concerned for her safety; not to mention wanting to avoid having to go through one of her cranky periods. Still, I have to make my way there this weekend. I still have some last minute stuff to buy, a new carpet being high on the agenda.
On the topic of new stuff, there are those amongst us who think nothing of changing furniture or personal accessories on a whim, especially with Aidilfitri being around the corner. There a some families who'd change furniture just because there is a small chip on the wooden sofa or a scratch on the metal coffee table. Personally, I can neeither identify with that nor can I keep up with them. It's almost engrained in our culture that we must keep up with the times. Quoting a famous line from an old Malay Movie, 'Orang ada rumah baru, dia mahu rumah , baru. Orang ada radio baru, dia mahu radio baru. Orang ada kreta baru, dia mahu kreta baru". In short, "I want what they got".
Funny. This line has been said countless times in many a rerun. No doubt meant as a poke in our cultural ribs, it has yet to bring about a meaning that resonates in our community - prudence. At times, we put undue pressure on ourselves not to be seen as outdated, we sometimes overspend and live beyond our means. It's no surprise that there many amongst our community who live in debt. So what if it's old? If it ain't broke, dun fix it. I'l readily admit that at some points in my life, in my pursuit of acceptance, I was dragged into this mindset of trying to keep up. Thanks to my financial controller, read: wife, that has been kept in check. Else, I'd be just another name in the OA's list.
Where there was once a tingling feeling everytime I saw a new gadget launched, it's now just a numbed feeling. Why? Simply because, most of my wants has been vetoed so many times, I've practically given up hope of ever attaining them. Thanks dear, for enforcing a sense of prudence in me..
Yeap! Formula 1 weekend is finally here. Wait!!! Why am I getting excited??
Honestly, I've always thought that it was a waste of time to attend a motorsport event in person. I mean, why go to the races when you can probably only watch the part of the race where you are at while missing the action at other sections. Plus, the sky-high prices for the pit garage grandstand tickets are enough to put most people, bar the die-hards and the uber rich. I've always told myself that I would stay away from the Marina Bay area cos the crowds would probably be too much for me. In any case, I won't know who's in the lead at the races and all I'll get is just a ringing sensation in my ears and glazed eyes from watching the cars zoom by. So, come this weekend, you're more likely to find me trawling through the narrow walkways of the Ramadan Bazaar at Geylang Serai.
Speaking of which, I have yet to go there this year. That is, in itself, a record of sorts. I have always made it a point to soak up the atmosphere there, not to mention the sights, sounds and, urgh, smells of sweat and smoke. This year, however, I have put that off till the very last weekend of Ramadan. Not that I have lost the spirit for festivities, rather, it's the presence of my daughter that puts me off going there. The small walkways and the claustrophobic surroundings can freak an adult out, more so, a baby. On one hand, I wanted to expose her to the bazaar but on the other hand, I'm concerned for her safety; not to mention wanting to avoid having to go through one of her cranky periods. Still, I have to make my way there this weekend. I still have some last minute stuff to buy, a new carpet being high on the agenda.
On the topic of new stuff, there are those amongst us who think nothing of changing furniture or personal accessories on a whim, especially with Aidilfitri being around the corner. There a some families who'd change furniture just because there is a small chip on the wooden sofa or a scratch on the metal coffee table. Personally, I can neeither identify with that nor can I keep up with them. It's almost engrained in our culture that we must keep up with the times. Quoting a famous line from an old Malay Movie, 'Orang ada rumah baru, dia mahu rumah , baru. Orang ada radio baru, dia mahu radio baru. Orang ada kreta baru, dia mahu kreta baru". In short, "I want what they got".
Funny. This line has been said countless times in many a rerun. No doubt meant as a poke in our cultural ribs, it has yet to bring about a meaning that resonates in our community - prudence. At times, we put undue pressure on ourselves not to be seen as outdated, we sometimes overspend and live beyond our means. It's no surprise that there many amongst our community who live in debt. So what if it's old? If it ain't broke, dun fix it. I'l readily admit that at some points in my life, in my pursuit of acceptance, I was dragged into this mindset of trying to keep up. Thanks to my financial controller, read: wife, that has been kept in check. Else, I'd be just another name in the OA's list.
Where there was once a tingling feeling everytime I saw a new gadget launched, it's now just a numbed feeling. Why? Simply because, most of my wants has been vetoed so many times, I've practically given up hope of ever attaining them. Thanks dear, for enforcing a sense of prudence in me..
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Friends.............
My blog has undergone through so many resuscitation, it should have been dead and buried by now. As it is, there is still a pulse, just barely. The last time I blabbered about something, it was about the National Day Rally. A month ago.
Since then, we all have gone through some rough times, in terms of the global economic outlook that it makes the Asian Financial Crisis of 1998 look easy. Not since the Great Depression in the 30s has there been so much turmoil in the financial markets around the world. Havoc. Recession looms larger then we might think at some point. Things are looking up in the last few days with the US government vowing not to allow the market to slip into freefall being a welcome respite.
From a global issue to more personal issue.
My wife has always commented how lucky I am to have a big pool of friends. I used to think so myself. There were some points in my life where there wasn't just enough time to devote to a particular group of friends for an extended period. I mean, one weekend would be with a group, another weekend with a different group. What I came to realise was that, I never really had a group of friends whom I have stuck with from the day I had friends. Even now, I don't have a specific group whom I meet up with regularly.
I mean, yeah, I know lots of people and seldom would I be out and about without meeting a familiar face. However, familiarity does not equate to a close bond. Most of the people I know are acquaintances more than friends. People whom have entered my life at some point, for some fleeting moment and left as soon as they appeared. Those that I call friends are those who, at the very least, have my number on their mobile, or have me on Multiply or Friendster. Other than the occasional 'hi's and 'bye's, or the occasional, 'Hey bro, you free? I need your help.', I almost never get the 'Hey bro, you free? Let's meetup for coffee' kind of message/call.
Not that I am complaining. I mean, I'm happier spending time with my baby rather than to spend time with friends who call me out only when they need my help. My wife is different. She is not as sociable and not as friendly as I am. Unlike me, she can't strike up a conversation with someone she barely knows. She does, however, have 2 groups of friends whom she meets up with on a fairly regular basis. 2 friends from her secondary school and 4 from her workplace whom she is especially close to. of her 4 friends from her workplace, 1 is married, while the other 3 are still single. Of the 3 singletons, 1 of them seem to be drifting away, while the other 2 maintains close contact with her.
Having met her workplace friends quite often, I have grown to know them personally. The friend who is married is now mother of three and a full-time housewife. My wife and her 2 friends have always seen the married one as the luckiest. Loving husband, 3 lovely kids, a nice flat and a car. What more could a woman ask for, right?? Recently, it seems, that their marriage is on the rocks and heading towards divorce. Vaguely, I know that the husband has found another woman. Surprising, very surprising indeed. He's always seemed like a faithful husband. He's not that handsome and neither is he filthy rich. So it came as a surprise to us all.
It's very sad to hear of this development, seeing how she has stopped working to become a fulltime housewife and devoting herself to him and their family, only to have that devotion betrayed by his infidelity. Personally, the D-word did cross my mind at some points in my life, especially when I thought that our relationship had broken down irretrievably. I mean, I admit that there were times when I thought I could no longer live with her or her family members. However, at no point did I ever consider having another woman.
Invariably, just when we thought life could not be any better, it takes a plunge downhill. And when it seems there can be no light at the end of that dark tunnel, a tiny ray of light peeks through. I have never doubted our individual strengths as human beings, and the wonders the body can do when the mind is focused. Thus, I'm sure my wife's friend would come out of this stronger and a better person. I do pray for her happiness as well as her other friends'.
The same goes to my friends, whoever and wherever they may be. I'm always there for them. Be it a loan, help with their car or just a listening ear when you think you've reached the lowest ebb of your life, I'll help where I can..........even if you don't intend to ask me out for a drink anytime soon.
Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since then, we all have gone through some rough times, in terms of the global economic outlook that it makes the Asian Financial Crisis of 1998 look easy. Not since the Great Depression in the 30s has there been so much turmoil in the financial markets around the world. Havoc. Recession looms larger then we might think at some point. Things are looking up in the last few days with the US government vowing not to allow the market to slip into freefall being a welcome respite.
From a global issue to more personal issue.
My wife has always commented how lucky I am to have a big pool of friends. I used to think so myself. There were some points in my life where there wasn't just enough time to devote to a particular group of friends for an extended period. I mean, one weekend would be with a group, another weekend with a different group. What I came to realise was that, I never really had a group of friends whom I have stuck with from the day I had friends. Even now, I don't have a specific group whom I meet up with regularly.
I mean, yeah, I know lots of people and seldom would I be out and about without meeting a familiar face. However, familiarity does not equate to a close bond. Most of the people I know are acquaintances more than friends. People whom have entered my life at some point, for some fleeting moment and left as soon as they appeared. Those that I call friends are those who, at the very least, have my number on their mobile, or have me on Multiply or Friendster. Other than the occasional 'hi's and 'bye's, or the occasional, 'Hey bro, you free? I need your help.', I almost never get the 'Hey bro, you free? Let's meetup for coffee' kind of message/call.
Not that I am complaining. I mean, I'm happier spending time with my baby rather than to spend time with friends who call me out only when they need my help. My wife is different. She is not as sociable and not as friendly as I am. Unlike me, she can't strike up a conversation with someone she barely knows. She does, however, have 2 groups of friends whom she meets up with on a fairly regular basis. 2 friends from her secondary school and 4 from her workplace whom she is especially close to. of her 4 friends from her workplace, 1 is married, while the other 3 are still single. Of the 3 singletons, 1 of them seem to be drifting away, while the other 2 maintains close contact with her.
Having met her workplace friends quite often, I have grown to know them personally. The friend who is married is now mother of three and a full-time housewife. My wife and her 2 friends have always seen the married one as the luckiest. Loving husband, 3 lovely kids, a nice flat and a car. What more could a woman ask for, right?? Recently, it seems, that their marriage is on the rocks and heading towards divorce. Vaguely, I know that the husband has found another woman. Surprising, very surprising indeed. He's always seemed like a faithful husband. He's not that handsome and neither is he filthy rich. So it came as a surprise to us all.
It's very sad to hear of this development, seeing how she has stopped working to become a fulltime housewife and devoting herself to him and their family, only to have that devotion betrayed by his infidelity. Personally, the D-word did cross my mind at some points in my life, especially when I thought that our relationship had broken down irretrievably. I mean, I admit that there were times when I thought I could no longer live with her or her family members. However, at no point did I ever consider having another woman.
Invariably, just when we thought life could not be any better, it takes a plunge downhill. And when it seems there can be no light at the end of that dark tunnel, a tiny ray of light peeks through. I have never doubted our individual strengths as human beings, and the wonders the body can do when the mind is focused. Thus, I'm sure my wife's friend would come out of this stronger and a better person. I do pray for her happiness as well as her other friends'.
The same goes to my friends, whoever and wherever they may be. I'm always there for them. Be it a loan, help with their car or just a listening ear when you think you've reached the lowest ebb of your life, I'll help where I can..........even if you don't intend to ask me out for a drink anytime soon.
Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!
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