It's Hari Raya + 4.
It doesn't seem like Hari Raya anymore these days. Somehow I feel that the seri is no longer there. Why do I feel this way? Not too sure myself. Friends have been wishing me Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin left, right and center, but somehow, I feel that the spirit of Hari Raya is no longer there. Pardon my lack of enthusiasm but I am one of those pessismists who thinks that the spirit is fading away. Should I attribute it to my growing older, hence, the lack of enthusiasm, or issit the ever smaller number of houses to visit?
I do feel in some sort of limbo. Hari Raya used to be an excuse for the whole family to gather at my late grandma's house and seek forgiveness from one another, as is our tradition. However, since my grandma passed away, there is no longer a focal point for the family. My aunts and uncles, instead, congregate at their respective in-laws. Since both my maternal and paternal grandparents are no longer around, my family just stayed home for a while before visiting the granduncles and grandaunts. And that number is becoming smaller.
Where the first day of Aidilfitri used to be a hectic affair with frenetic scurrying all over the island to visit as many of the elders' houses as possible, it slowed down to a slow crawl nowadays. Where we used to visit more than 15 houses on the first day alone, it'd be an achievement if we could cover 6 now. It's not that there are no more relatives to visit, just that my father being the 2nd eldest amongst his siblings, the younger aunts and uncles would naturally seek him out on the first day, as such, he would be home more than be out and about.
How does that affect me?
Simple, since I have no longer have grandparents to visit, the logical place to go would be my parent's place followed by my immediate aunts and uncles. However, since they would be busy visiting my dad and other family members on their in-laws side, I have very little places to visit, since not many of them will be home. Before, I could just turn up at the doorstep of my late granduncles and grandaunts, I can't do the same now. It has become a yearly game of cat and mouse, catch-me-if-you-can style. Now, I even have to book their times and make appointments.
Now, I only have 2 grandaunts still around and they are the only ones I get to visit on the first day, apart from my parents and in-laws' places. To make matters worse, I have to worry about making appointments, especially since I am married and expected to know who my extended family members are and go to their houses on my own, with my wife, of course. No more following Mom and Dad now. Heck, I'm approaching 30, and if at that age I can't recognise my extended family and visit them on my own, something's wrong with me.
I was joking with a cousin of mine who is now 10 years old - big age gap, huh? I asked him when is he ever going to come of age and his voice will break into the baritone sound like his elder brother who is 13. His mom, my aunt, retorted with a smile on her face, "Eeeehhh, dun wan lah. He wun be as cute as he is now when that happens, I hope that day wun come for a long while!" I understand where she was coming from, with regards to her sone being the baby of the family.
Then it hit me! How I wished time had stopped or we could go back in time. I wouldn't have to worry about whose house to visit - that'd be my parents' job - and my aunt won't have to worry about her son coming of age and losing his adorableness and cuteness. Well, that's the passage of time for us all......
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