Blogs, friends and happiness....

I was having a good laugh listening to the deejays of Class 95 this morning. They were talking about me - the blogger, and the rest of the bloggers out there. I do find it funny though listening to them debating this topic. I guess I understood where they were coming from in reference to the blogs who seek attention, especially those who chronicle their extracurricular activities. Well, to each, his own.

Admittedly, there are those who crave attention and view the burgeoning hit count as a sign that their blog is a success. Personally, I view my blog as an extension of myself - an avenue for me to let my feelings known in a subtle way. I mean, when we are angry or pissed, words spewed from our lips tend to have more fire and passion in them and that may touch a few nerves and missing the point altogether. A friend and a ex-colleague and ex-boss once said to me, emails are very powerful. I guess that notion extends to blogs we write and letters we send.

This is simply because, with letters, emails and blogs, we tend to be retrospective in our views so much so that in getting our points across with such subtlety, we do not trip and fall and made to look like fools. In the heat of the moment, words don't just cut, they tear into you. Away from the heat though, when calmer and with hindsight, the words mellow, the mind becomes clearer and our judgements are not as clouded as when we are better able to get our point across. I have no problems with people who do everything they can to get their hit rates skyrocket - from posting nude photos of their not-so-beautiful bodies and faces to acid-tongue remarks which would only come back to haunt them. I say, let them be and let the powers that be handle them.

In the end, it all comes down to the purpose of it all - the purpose you create and maintain a blog and why you sniff around other people's blog.

OK, enough talking about others, my egomanical, self-centric personality's about to take over now. Yeah, it's kinda lame.....I know. So, I was out and about Suntec on Friday evening - had a meeting with an ex-camp mate from NS who's now a financial advisor. He got me a good quote for my insurance and we were there to talk a bit while settling the business. On the way to meet him, I chanced upon a trio of babes whom I know from secondary school. All three are teachers now though only 1 has settled down. The other 2 remain single and available, I think. Spent almost 10mins, chatting, exchanging pleasantries, introducing my wife - the kind of things you do when meeting old friends, without ever exchanging contacts.

On the way back though was when the conversation between me and my wife got interesting. I remember a few posts back where I mentioned about her friend who is so desperate to get hitched while acting like a juvenile schoolgirl breaking out of puberty. I asked my wife if she noticed how my friends reacted when I asked them if they were married or in a relationship. Well, nonchalant was a nice way to put it. I didn't think they were too bothered over the fact that they were not hitched at 29. I told my wife that there is more to life than just finding a man, getting married and having babies. I guess my friends had different priorities as compared to my wife's friend.

After 29 years if breathing the polluted air around me, it's safe to say that my perspective of life has changed though my desires have not waned. I think I'd much rather have a fulfilling life as opposed to a long life with unfulfilled dreams and desires. To me, it's better to enjoy what you have now than to risk losing everything without ever feeling the enjoyment that comes with it. The more we worry about where our next meal will come from, where our Mr or Miss Right is or contemplating buying that dress or hot gizmo, the further we are from happiness and closer we are to death.

I just don't want to come to a point where I'm drawing my last breaths wishing I had done something when I had the chance.

There are some things money just can't buy

I have been thinking a lot over the last few days. There's been a lot going through my mind which made me neglect my blog for a few days. Yeap, tumultuous to say the least. I had a fallout with my parents over things I have been planning to get but I'm not gonna talk about that.

Those who have been reading my posts diligently, I doubt there are, would know that I was planning on doing some upgrades or enhancements to my car - something I have been planning for the longest time, even before I got the keys to the car. Well, that's all up in smoke now. It's all because of the quintessential question of expenditure or over-spending. Fingers were pointed at me, specifically, calling me a "glamour boy", colloquially translated as someone who likes to spend on the latest stuff in order to be perceived as cool or "in".

Let me ask you this question then. Put an IT geek in Sim Lim Square or put gamer in a shop selling games or put an Audiophile in Sim Lim Tower or a car enthusiast in an autoshop selling all there is and what do you get? A great big smile and a wild imagination....give him a blank check and you'll see him doing cartwheels.

We as humans have our own unique interests. Most men would have an interest in either sports, cars, bikes or IT gadgets, some have an equal amount of interest in all. Same goes for women. Only thing is that for women, fashion is high on that list. We go to work, slog hard and hope to get enough money at the end of the month to be able to buy that latest football jersey or MP3 or DVD player or the cool car accessory. If we don't, we'll save up and wait till we've accumulated enough. Women do the same too, they crave for that nice, hot dress or the latest perfume or the latest shade of pink lipstick.

While some would balk at the price tag of $200 for that hot dress or $400 on the new amplifier or $600 on the latest graphics card, there are those who'd scrimp and save to be able to own such items. Deep down, everyone has that desire to own something new, instead of just hand-me-downs all their lives. Having not enough money is, more often than not, just a time-delay mechanism which only serves to slow down the process of realising that coveted dream. However, at the end of the day, being able to realise that dream is a reward far more rewarding than anything tangible.

Let me ask the wives this question. What would you give to see the look on your husbands face when you buy him that latest handphone he's been eyeing eversince it was announced? For the husband, what price would you pay to see that look upon your wife's face when you present her with a new dress or jewelry? For the parents, what price would you put for that look on your child's face when you buy him that new games console he's been pleading you to buy for him? More often than not, it's the intangible rewards that matter, be it you buy something for some you love or you buying it for yourself as a reward for your past year of hard work.

Buying new things may not always be a waste of money, no matter how pragmatic you are. Even if you think your wife is wasting her money when buying a new pair of shoes when she already has 300 pairs lying around at home, to her its the realisation of a dream she has. Same thing goes for the wives. When your husband goes out to trade-in his handphone for the latest model, even though his current handphone is working just fine, does that mean he is wasting his money when you know owning that new piece of hardware will put a smile on his face, the very smile you love to see?? Would you have the heart to deny your child his toothy grin when refusing to buy him candy or ice-cream??

Well, as with all others, I too, dreamt of the latest stuff, I dreamt of upgrading my car, dreamt of getting the new Sony Ericsson K800i and hope to go to Australia for a holiday. However, due to certain events which transpired, I have since decided that they will remain just that - dreams.

Went to Sentosa, came back with nothing.

There goes my weekend, in another blur of activities. The wife and me went to Sentosa, well, it was more of me hell-bent on going while she having had no choice or say in the matter, simply tagged along. Well, I starterd the day very early, washed the car and cleaned the house, while my wife cooked up breakfast and lunch, knowing we would be spending lunch at Sentosa.

It was supposed to be a meetup of the car club, of which I am a member, and a grand one at that. There was this marquee event for car enthusiasts, featuring a drifting competition, some booths and a movie screening ofThe Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. So, at around 10am we left the house and made our way there, all the while imagining in my mind what to expect. On reaching the island, after paying the $6.00 entrance fee, ouch!!, we proceeded to the wrong carpark. Only after a flurry of phone calls was I able to make my way to the right place.

What I came upon sank my heart.

While I did expect the car drifting competition to be held in the sun, what I didn't expect were the spectators were also standing in the hot sun. While I expected there to be booths all lined up with a carnival-like atmosphere with fun and games, what I got was 20 or so booths, mostly automotive in nature (it is a car enthusiasts event after all), with a smattering of booths hawking ladies accesories, all with a distinct lethargy in hawking their wares. Well, maybe with the exception of the Pioneer booth, there was an air of disinterest in the whole event. Disappointed was a feeling my friends and me shared.

After 1 hour, I decided to make full use of my time in Sentosa, having not visited the place in years, plus I had set aside $100 for some fun. So, off we - we being my wife and me - went to explore what changes has been taking place on the island. First, we tried Cinemania, at $25 for 2 to enter for all of 15 mins spent strapped to a chair going thru the so-called adventure. Damn, I got ripped off. Then, we went to the Orchid Garden, nothing much but, what else, orchids. Next, we went to Imbiah Lookout, where we were greeted by heavy rain.

Now, I know where's the new Carlsberg Sky Tower and the Sentosa Luge & Skybridge. Well, I'm ignorant about Sentosa, or choose to be. Being the big boy that I am, I wanted to try both the Sky Tower and the Luge, but darling wifey managed to convince me otherwise. In the end, I could only look on as those happy people queued for their turns. Well, at $10pax for the Sky Tower, I guess, missing it wouldn't be such a bad thing, but missing the Luge and Skybridge which would have set me back only $8pax was a travesty. In truth, she had left her "bravery scarf" at home, so walks on the wild side were out for the day.

Being the mountain tortoise that I am when it concerns local attractions, I had also wanted to go to the Underwater World. Could you believe it? I'm 29 and have yet to visit the Underwater World and the Night Safari. Then again, at $19.50pax, I could come back another time. In the midst of much haggling over where to go next, my wife said something to me which did make some sense. The reason why we were reluctant to part with our cash to visit local attractions is because we are not in a holiday mood. I mean, she's right, had we been elsewhere, we'd have no qualms splashing the cash.

I mean, we were at Langkawi for our honeymoon, and I remember visiting the Underwater World there and, though it was such a disappointment, I didn't come out feeling as empty as I would have had it been a local attraction. I mean walking around the complex, gawking at fishes in tanks and not their natural environment was not exactly what I envisioned the Underwater World to be. Same goes for the Sky Tower. While I would have paid for entry into the KL Towers, I'd have second thoughts at paying to look at familiar surroundings, albeit from a different angle. I'd have a great view from Mount Faber for free.

All said and done, at least we had a nice finish to the crappy day at Sentosa - dinner at Delifrance Bistro, courtesy of my leftover budget.

Mid East Flare-ups

OK, it's been more than a week since I last posted. I am yet to find out exactly what transpired in the Zidane-Materazzi affair, not that I'm fixated on finding out anyway. Oh, and the big news now is Israel's offensive in southern Lebanon against the Hezbollah. The basic premise is that 2 of their soldiers were abducted by the Hezbollah and they would use any force necessary to obtain their release.

It's been the story of the region hasn't it?

The siege mentality adopted by the Zionist state surrounded by Muslim neighbours who'd gleefully rub their hand together at any chance they'd get at annihilating the Jewish neighbour they oh-so-love-to-hate. The turbulence engulfing the Middle-East shows no signs of abating and it seems like there may not be peace any time soon. Built from land usurped from their Arab neighbours, Israel seems to have this policy of striking first and striking hard at the enemy, and they excercise this policy a lot, mostly, with brutal outcomes.

For me, personally, I'd like to see the day the Arabs triumphing over their Israel, not because I am a Muslim, but more because I hold to the principle that no one has the right to chase the indigeneous people off their birthland. I felt the same for the Aborigines of Australia, long marginalised by the white immigrants, and for the Native Indians of the Americas. I do believe that Jerusalem should be sanctioned as an international city, due to it's uniqueness of being the cradle of the 3 major Abrahamic religions - Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

Then again, who am I to say?

Despite having UN Resolutions hanging over its head, there seems nothing that can be done to diffuse each and every flareup caused by the Israelis. However, if the flareup was caused by the Arabs, the rebuttal and response is swift and hard. Sad but true, in a region where stones are answered with bullets and "every means necessary", more often than not means excessive use of force, it's hard to see the end of such hostilities. The Arabs aren't doing much to diffuse it either, suicide bombings under the veil of martyrdom are hardly the kind of answers need to to the perennial question of the possibility of peaceful existence.

Fighting fire with fire will only cause the situation to get even hotter and more tense than it already is. Every Israeli incursion into the Palestinian territories, killing innocent civilians while at it, is replied with suicide bombings of innocent civilians from Israel. Likewise, any suicide attacks replied with more incursions. It's a vicious cycle which never seems to end. And now this. Israel attacks south Lebanon to force Hezbollah to release their kidnapped soldiers. While I pity the innocent Lebanese killed in this show of force by the Israelis, I can't help thinking that had these 2 soldiers be released, the bloodshed might just end - for now.

The way I see it now, the situation is set to escalate further, I'd probably not discount a full-scale invasion by Israel into South Lebanon just as they did in 1980. I do not think Israel should not excercise its right to self-defence, however, that said, they should have excercised restraint - a concept the Israel government seem to to find alien. It's kind of like a playground fight between 2 boys. The smaller boy provokes the bigger boy, calling him stupid, and get a slap, a shove, a punch and kick up the backside all at once. At the same time, sniggering at the rest of the boys, taunnting them to do domething about it.

Yeap, we are those other boys, some watching, some egging on the 2 boys, all the while waiting for someone to step in, only to see the biggest boy around sitting at the corner, pretending nothing happened, if you get my drift.

Give the man a break

OK, I am shocked. Just like the rest of us are. Zizou, arguably the best footballer of his generation, one of the most soft-spoke athletes around, launched into a headbutt into the chest of Marco Materazzi in his final, farewell match. Damn, that was some headbutt too, any bull in Pamplona would have been proud.

I'm not even gonna talk about the circumstances leading to the event nor am I gonna talk about the match - there are enough websites covering that incident. What I do find disturbing is the fact that people are lauding Zidane for his sense of honour and chastizing Materazzi for his provocation. I mean, seriously, do we have to do that? Let's go past the fact that they are indeed public figures whose actions are watched by millions, if not billion all over the world.

We have this sick fixation for stargazing and I'm not talking astr0nomy here. We love heroes and at the same time we hate villains. To us, it epitomises the struggle between good and evil - the very fundamentals of our lives - and the hope that comes with the good. No ones wants to be a villain but everyone wants to be a hero. Due to this fiaxation we find ourselves looking up to our heroes.In this case, is Zidane the hero and is Materazzi the villain? But who defines who as a hero?

To me, I'd rather just look at it as one man's reaction to another's provocation. There are no heroes here. This thing happens all over the world. You get jibes all the time from your friends, I get it for my rotund figure. Do we really have to scrutinize Zidane's reaction even if he is a public figure? He is not a hero, he is a mere mortal, a real life person with feelings - feelings that are susceptible to being hurt at the provocations and insinuations of others.

Heroes exist only to give hope to those in need of the little ray of hope. We have Robin Hood, King Arthur, Hercules and Archilles as heroes. God knows if they had ever been real or just webs spun by old men to inspire the young of their time, whose tales have been retold countless times with a generous dose of embellishments of their own. I guess in every era, in every community, in every social structure, heroes exist for a unifying reason - to give hope and direction to the desired morality in our lives.

The Greeks has Hercules and Archilles as their beacon of hope, Anglo-Saxons has King Arthur and Robin Hood, the Malays has Hang Tuah, the Chinese has Wong Fei Hong, the Americans has........well, they have Rambo and Luke Skywalker. All these heroes symbolizes the good - in every facet of their lives - that we desire to have in our lives and the hope that our children will be as good as these heroes. Dare we put Zidane in the same bracket as them?

Last I check, none of those heroes have headbutted their adversaries. Give Zidane a break, he's not a hero, just a mere mortal with immortal talents.

Football: sport or business?

For those who know me personally might find this a bit strange. This is the year of the FIFA World Cup and me being a football nut/junkie/fanatic/addict, I have yet to discuss anything on my blog even remotely related to football or soccer, depending on which side of the planet u live in. Strange isn't it?

Having spent the last 4 years gearing myself up for the biggest event on any football mad person, nothing has yet to come out of me is indeed surprising, even for me. No, it's not a case of me going cold turkey to cure myself off my football addiction, it's just that I felt there was no interesting thing to discuss. I mean look around you. Banners are everywhere. So are the posters. Not that I have lost interest, far from it, I just did not see the need to discuss my thoughts on the shocks of this tournament when there are countless footballs pundits all over the world waiting to give their take on things. I'm not about to join Gary Lineker or Bryan Robson as a pundit.

But let's looks at the hype surrounding this event or any football event for that matter. Just point me to any major football tournament which do not generate as much hype and interest. As the commercials go, "We all speak football". Well, I know that sports, in general, trancends any barriers, be it, religious, racial, language, ideologies and politics. However, any kind of organised sports still at it's very core administered by a bunch of people, who are, nevertheless, politicians. And you know when politics come into play, things will get cloudy.

I pity the football millionaires. I really do. I mean look at how many of them have fallen by the wayside. Prime example amongst them, the legendary George Best. Acclaimend by many to be the most gifted of footballers, he threw his life away when at the age of 26 he walked way from it all. Overcome by the trappings of success, he just didn't know what to do with all his money and spent it all on the booze. It's a very common tale, poor young boy comes to the city to play his favourite game, gets noticed by the thousands of scouts, signs a huge contract with more zeroes he could count, gets better, becomes more famous. Remmber Garrincha? The World Cup winner with Brazil in 1958, a team-mate of the immortal Pele, well, he died penniless.

While George Best is not the only one, he remains the epitomy of fame getting into the head of a young footballer. And this was way back in the 60's and 70's when football has yet to reach it's financial pinnacle. Owing to the fact that there will always be the insatiable demand to watch the skills of top players, tournaments are created to exhibit these very skills. And at whose expense? Of course, without the spectators, the footballing gods will not be as rich as they are now. But success always come with a price. I mean they are being thrust into the limelight and not all of them are comfortable with a microphone shoved in their face, flashes going off everywhere.

Then again, without these sporting administrators and the whole media circus, we would never be able to witness the many unforgettable skills on show. Way back in 1970, only a handful of people would have been so lucky to be able to watch the Final itself. Now, in 2006, almost everyone had access to the games, even those poor detainees in Guantanamo Bay. While I dislike the commercialism that is so prevalent in my beloved sports - The Beautiful Game, I have to admit that without such overt commercialism, we would not have had the luxury of witnessing the rise of South Korea in 2002 or the triumph of Zizou and France in 1998 or the gut-wrenching penalty miss by Robberto Baggio in 1994.

I have to admit that while it is crazy to wake up at the unearthly hours here just to watch 22 men chasing after a ball, many amongst us would miss the games for anything in the world. Not me, I'd gladly fork out my money all over again to watch that freekick by Beckham against Colombia in 1998, that wonder solo goal by Owen in the same tournament, that superb strike by Bergkamp against Argentina in 1998 and the long range strike by Gheorghe Hagi in 1994. Pieces of skills that we, mere mortals, could only dream of.

2010, yeap, I'll be watching. Again

I'm staying

I have always wondered why some people would want to move away from the place they called home, where they grew up, made friends, fall in love for the first time. I remember a few months ago where there was this debate about the stayers and leavers, or something to that effect.

Being young, we all have this adventurous streak in us, save for the few chicken-hearted amongst us. I have a few friends who have been complaining and whining for the longest time about how shackled they feel living in Singapore, not having the kind of freedom that they crave. Even up till now, I have yet to understand what it was meant by that.

Freedom? Freedom from what?

We have long since left behind our colonial past and the shackles that once came with it. Heck, the ones doing all the whining have never known what it was like to be treated as second-class citizens in their own lands. Terror tales abound about the treatment of Asians in western nations, Australia included. It seems like Asians are generally viewed as usurpers to their economy, adding more competition to an already competitive economy. Grass is greener on the other side?

Strange isn't it? While governments around the world expound the virtues of Free Trade Agreements and a free market economy, the population, as a whole, dread the extra competition, even if it means more choices. So, even if we think we are going to a land of opportunities, the stark reality of it all is that, we may not be as welcomed, in spite of the banner welcoming you at the airport. Think about it, would you rather have holiday makes come to your country and splurge the cash or would you rather have the same people settling down permanently and compete for whatever resources that are available?

I guess this is why a lot of those who migrate, especially those who are not as well-off financially, often find themseles in a conundrum, trying to eke out a living out of nothing. Most of those who have studied these phenom would say that it is a vicious cycle, while success breeds success, pverty breeds, poverty. Often it is said that to break out of this vicious poverty cycle, a good education is key, that in itself is flawed. How do you guarantee a good education when the people you are trying to educate don't have enough for their own survival, let along education.

I guess most of us Singaporeans do not fall under that category where we live hand to mouth. A day to day existence which most would cringe at. I am happy where I, in spite of all the talk about lack of freedom and a vibrant life. Think of it this way, probably half the world do not have access clean drinking water, much less buffets and gourmet cuisine.