My disappointment

Such a depressing headline - I know. I'm feeling it. There are a few things on my mind which are eating away at me, just that somehow, letting it all out will hurt those around me. Funny especially coming from someone who normally speaks his mind with a callous disregard towards the feelings of others.

As some of you, my avid fans (just who am I kidding), can attest to, my dislike for some people (read: brother/sister-in-law) is almost legendary. Legendary enough to rival the fabled tales of Hercules, Achilles, Bonnie and Clyde, Billy the Kid and maybe, just maybe, Maradona. For those who happen to read this blog and are starting to feel queasy or starting to think, "Oh, here he goes again, blabbering about his family.", now's the perfect time to click the NEXT or CLOSE button before you read something that you didn't intend to or worse, badmouth me behind my back.. Yeap, I know it's going to ruffle feathers and hurt the feelings of a certain someone - my wife. This time, I felt I just have to let it loose. Been keeping it in for far too long.

Well, my princess celebrated her 1st birthday a month ago. As mentioned in one of my previous blogs, my wife and I meant for it to be a low-key affair. That meant no fancy parties or celebrations and definitely no cakes. She wouldn't have understood the significance of it anyway. In fact, minus the customary visit from our parents, some close friends and 2 of my wife's relatives, no one else came to our house during the whole of Aidilfitri, but that's a story for another day. What I found most disappointing was the lack of any gifts for her, with the exception of the gifts from my immediate family and both of us. Why does it bother me so much? Of course it does!!! Her uncles and aunts didn't even come to our house to see her on her birthday.

OK. Granted that it was in the first week of Aidilfitri plus the fact that it was exam period. Surely, a niece's birthday is worth remembering and worth taking the effort to see her. In the end, neither of her uncles (read: my brother-in-law) or aunties (read: sis-in-law) called to arrange to visit her, much less actually came over. Actually, her not receiving any gifts from my wife's side of the family wouldn't have been that noticeable if they had made an effort to celebrate it. Nothing. And to think that my wife had always made it a point to call her nieces and nephews on their birthdays and to buy presents for them.

I spoke to my wife about it and, truthfully, I know she was heartbroken by the acts, or lack thereof of her own brothers. Throwback 13 months and the same thing played out. Neither of her brothers called to ask how she was and to check up on her when she gave birth to our darling princess. They only came over to see her a few weeks later. You may ask, since I dislike them so much, why am I feeling disappointed?

The simple reason being, my disappointment is because I pity my wife for having such siblings and I pity my princess for having to call them uncles when she learns how to address them. Yes, I do ask myself why do I bother to seek for their forgiveness each and every Aidilfitri knowing full well that I may never give them the respect as elders. I can't say for sure if I have or can ever forgive them for making my wife feel the way she feels whenever we broach this subject.

Call me a hypocrite but that's never going to change how I interface with them. Outwardly, I may look like I'm showing them some level of respect. Deep down inside, there's nothing there but disdain. As much as I would love to give them a piece of my mind, I won't, even if it's only because I do not want my wife or my parents-in-law as the rope in a tug-of-war. My wife knows my stand on this. This exactly the reason why I refuse to go to their homes, unless there is a valid reason for me to do so.

Honestly, I'm not bothered by the lack of gifts. A simple visit to wish my princess happy birthday or even an attempt to make such an arrangement would have sufficed. I guess we, as a family, are not worth the effort to some.