I read with utter disgust the newspaper report about the Malay women being used as drug mules with one lady going so far to marry the man she thought she loved. It seems these Africans target plump Malay women. I'll touch on that later.
Love blinds. No disputing that.
When I was working in my first job, my then trainer made a comment about plump Malay girls who like to dress up, party and have fun and the African guys who go out with some of them. He said that the Africans go out with these girls because no other local guys would give them a second look. While I try not to be so direct, there is some truth in that statement. And while I do agree that not all African men are like that, too many black sheep make in unavoidable to treat all of them with myopic thoughts.
The African men, some being Muslim, will almost always play the religion card to work their way into the hearts and mind of their prey. Showered with 'love' and 'affection', these girls are easy meat. I mean, give any guy a choice between a pretty young thing and a plump girl, the choice is just too obvious right? Add to that, our preoccupation with having a family of our own, it makes our women easy prey, especially to the smooth-talkers.
Now, it may be easy to target these women, but I have to ask, are our women that stooopid to be used in that manner? Can't they see the tell-tale signs of drug trafficking? Is there really such a thing as easy money? Why are they paying thousands for you to go on a trip?
Personally, I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for these women. God gave you a brain to think, weigh things over and decide for a reason. So that we know what's right and what's wrong.
You know that pre-marital sex is forbidden, yet, you do it with these men.
You know that it makes no sense for you to be paid to take a short holiday.
You know that drug trafficking is a serious offense in many countries, with punishment including death.
Then, why do you put yourself in such a situation?
Love may be blind, but if you are that stupid, you deserve to be called a mule.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Happily ever after.....hopefully
I was watching the Malay variety program Kpak Bing Bing, essentially the sound of the kompang when it's played, the other day and something struck me. No, not physically. I was watching the couple recounting their first meeting, how he summoned up the courage to approach the girl and the happily ever after ending to the romance.
And it hit me.
I can't recall any incident in which I approached someone whom I don't already know with the intention to date her. Eversince, I started having any sort of interest in a girl, which was way back in Primary 6, by the way, I have never really approached anyone with the singular intention of dating her. I have no idea how I snagged my first love back in Secondary 2, though I suspect it could have something to do with those revisions we had together. In reality, I have no confidence in making that first move. I only made a move on her after she reciprocated my suggestive talk, yeah, I was a smooth talker even back then. In any case, that puppy love was never gonna work out, though an attempt to rekindle the embers was carried out some years later, again with disastrous results.
Honestly, I have lost count of the number of girls who caught my eye. No, I'm no casanova. It's just that there are certain traits these girls posses that I admire. In 90% of those times when I had that flutter in my substantial tummy, I let the butterflies free, reasoning that the girl in my sights was too good for me. In fact, it's just that I've got no confidence nor the courage to make that move. Inevitably, I had a lot of god-sisters, none of which was intended to be that way, for sure. It was all the craze back then, and me being the ever obliging person that I am, just can't say no to the juniors who started calling me abang - just not in the way that I envisaged.
Ever heard the phrase, NS will change a guy?
That phrase couldn't be more true than in me. While I'm still the excitable and still the obliging person that I am, I became more courageous, when it comes to girls, of course. Where I used to be utterly content with admiring a girl from a far, I became more confident and more assured of myself and was more plucky to make that move. Talking about making moves, I'll freely admit that I met my wife through the Internet. I was just starting work after finishing my NS and was working the night shift most of the time. The long chats became even longer, and I asked her out after she sent me a photo of her, though, I din fancy her initially when I got hold of that photo.
My initial reaction to meeting her was, "Did she have to bring a platoon down?". You see, she had her best friends accompany her, all 4 of them, though they left after meeting me - to gossip about us for sure.. The second reaction was that her friend is pretty and yes, I did tell her that. As time went by, we fell in love and the rest is, as they say history.
The reason I'm blabbering on and on is because what struck me was the connection and bond these husbands and wives shared. Something, quite admittedly is lacking in our marriage. It seems that they embody the term a loving couple. I mean, we are not lovey-dovey and can't-take-me-eyes-off-you kind of couple. We don't always hold hands while walking in public, we don't always engage in hugs-and-kisses when out and about. We don't even say mushy things to each other. If either one does, the other would go are you feeling alright? And we irritate each other more than we encourage.
I know some would say that it's not a sign of a healthy marriage. We had a chat about this and one thing we both agreed on is that the strength of our marriage is evident in the fact that despite all the speed bumps and potholes we have come across in our marriage, including those times we thought about separation, the wheels won't be falling off this wagon at the distant future. I'll admit that I'm no angel and there are times when I do act like a jerk (which guy doesn't, right?) but that does not mean I love her any less. In fact, with time, the love that's keeping us together is still as strong, if not stronger.
A joke we share between ourselves is that I conned her into marrying me. In all honesty, I'm glad I managed to con her into being my wife. She may not be the perfect wife, but she is as close as it gets for me.
And it hit me.
I can't recall any incident in which I approached someone whom I don't already know with the intention to date her. Eversince, I started having any sort of interest in a girl, which was way back in Primary 6, by the way, I have never really approached anyone with the singular intention of dating her. I have no idea how I snagged my first love back in Secondary 2, though I suspect it could have something to do with those revisions we had together. In reality, I have no confidence in making that first move. I only made a move on her after she reciprocated my suggestive talk, yeah, I was a smooth talker even back then. In any case, that puppy love was never gonna work out, though an attempt to rekindle the embers was carried out some years later, again with disastrous results.
Honestly, I have lost count of the number of girls who caught my eye. No, I'm no casanova. It's just that there are certain traits these girls posses that I admire. In 90% of those times when I had that flutter in my substantial tummy, I let the butterflies free, reasoning that the girl in my sights was too good for me. In fact, it's just that I've got no confidence nor the courage to make that move. Inevitably, I had a lot of god-sisters, none of which was intended to be that way, for sure. It was all the craze back then, and me being the ever obliging person that I am, just can't say no to the juniors who started calling me abang - just not in the way that I envisaged.
Ever heard the phrase, NS will change a guy?
That phrase couldn't be more true than in me. While I'm still the excitable and still the obliging person that I am, I became more courageous, when it comes to girls, of course. Where I used to be utterly content with admiring a girl from a far, I became more confident and more assured of myself and was more plucky to make that move. Talking about making moves, I'll freely admit that I met my wife through the Internet. I was just starting work after finishing my NS and was working the night shift most of the time. The long chats became even longer, and I asked her out after she sent me a photo of her, though, I din fancy her initially when I got hold of that photo.
My initial reaction to meeting her was, "Did she have to bring a platoon down?". You see, she had her best friends accompany her, all 4 of them, though they left after meeting me - to gossip about us for sure.. The second reaction was that her friend is pretty and yes, I did tell her that. As time went by, we fell in love and the rest is, as they say history.
The reason I'm blabbering on and on is because what struck me was the connection and bond these husbands and wives shared. Something, quite admittedly is lacking in our marriage. It seems that they embody the term a loving couple. I mean, we are not lovey-dovey and can't-take-me-eyes-off-you kind of couple. We don't always hold hands while walking in public, we don't always engage in hugs-and-kisses when out and about. We don't even say mushy things to each other. If either one does, the other would go are you feeling alright? And we irritate each other more than we encourage.
I know some would say that it's not a sign of a healthy marriage. We had a chat about this and one thing we both agreed on is that the strength of our marriage is evident in the fact that despite all the speed bumps and potholes we have come across in our marriage, including those times we thought about separation, the wheels won't be falling off this wagon at the distant future. I'll admit that I'm no angel and there are times when I do act like a jerk (which guy doesn't, right?) but that does not mean I love her any less. In fact, with time, the love that's keeping us together is still as strong, if not stronger.
A joke we share between ourselves is that I conned her into marrying me. In all honesty, I'm glad I managed to con her into being my wife. She may not be the perfect wife, but she is as close as it gets for me.
Monday, February 23, 2009
The day I got out of the car to help.
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Friday, January 23, 2009
The hope behind the hype
We have been down in the doldrums for quite some time. It's been one whammy after another and the already slowing economy is being pounded. Honestly, if this was a boxing match, the match would have been stopped long ago by the referee. Thankfully, we aren't. Fact is governments all over the world are tripping over themselves trying to pump more cash into the markets to stimulate the economy to reignite the sputtering fire.
Amid all the gloom and doom, we are given a ray of hope. Like the first rays of light shining through an overcast sky after a huge downpour, Barack Obama stands tall proclaiming his and USA's readiness to lead once again. His inaugural speech, cheered by millions the world over, talks of hope, unity, recovery and respect. Riding on the crest of the highest approval rating of any President in recent history, his inauguration has brought hope to everyone. The last 8 years, fraught with controversies, bloodshed and sheer arrogance, has precipitated most of the goodwill the world had for Americans in the aftermath of Sept 11.
From the streets of New York to the slums of Jakarta, from lands of Palestine pock-marked with bomb craters to the spotless avenues in Singapore, Americans are once again filled with pride while the rest of us are full hope. At the same time, we all know who was full of crap and himself. Obama has the opportunity to be the man of the century if he manages to clean up the mess left behind by the previous administration. He is at the cusps of greatness if he succeeds in dealing with theso called Axis of Evil without spilling a drop of blood. He is at the doorstep of immortality if he could resolve the Middle East conflict which no one else has ever come close to do.
For, if he does all those he set out to do, then his place in history is assured and will be spoken of fondly long after he is gone. Personally, I hope and pray that he does succeed for we have all waited for someone to do so for the longest time. Somehow, someone always manages to make a mess out of it even more. Case in point, the last 8 years. the change will not only do USA a whole lot of good, but hopefully, the world too. WORLD PEACE!!!!!
Speaking of hope, the recent budget announcement by the Finance Minster was also one eagerly anticipated, perhaps more so than the last few years. After months of downward adjustments of national growth, nothing could have lifted up the spirit and soul of the average Singaporean with a nice big hong bao before the Lunar New Year. The announcement of a $20.5 billion Resilience Package, while not meant to boost the economy into a quick recover, will definitely help to cushion the blows we have been taking over the months.
In truth, most of the moolah will go into job preservation and help for companies stay afloat. The only significant handout was the extra GST credit payout, to me at least. While some of us may groan, let us not forget to look at the bigger picture. While having a few hundred more in the pocket from the govenment would have been welcome, it doesn't address the issue of relevance. Times change and so does the market and expectations. We can't expect the jobs we have held for the last 5 years to remain as it is without any added skill needed. We all want a quick fix, but since when has a quick fix worked. Go ask Dubya, he knows quick fixes.
While I am glad with the budget, I'm not overly ecstatic as I'm not deriving much benefit from it - for now. However, again, looking at the bigger picture, it does mean that I am less likely to be retrenched now, and for that I am grateful. Let's hope that the grey skies above us will clear soon or I'll have to buy a boat.
Amid all the gloom and doom, we are given a ray of hope. Like the first rays of light shining through an overcast sky after a huge downpour, Barack Obama stands tall proclaiming his and USA's readiness to lead once again. His inaugural speech, cheered by millions the world over, talks of hope, unity, recovery and respect. Riding on the crest of the highest approval rating of any President in recent history, his inauguration has brought hope to everyone. The last 8 years, fraught with controversies, bloodshed and sheer arrogance, has precipitated most of the goodwill the world had for Americans in the aftermath of Sept 11.
From the streets of New York to the slums of Jakarta, from lands of Palestine pock-marked with bomb craters to the spotless avenues in Singapore, Americans are once again filled with pride while the rest of us are full hope. At the same time, we all know who was full of crap and himself. Obama has the opportunity to be the man of the century if he manages to clean up the mess left behind by the previous administration. He is at the cusps of greatness if he succeeds in dealing with theso called Axis of Evil without spilling a drop of blood. He is at the doorstep of immortality if he could resolve the Middle East conflict which no one else has ever come close to do.
For, if he does all those he set out to do, then his place in history is assured and will be spoken of fondly long after he is gone. Personally, I hope and pray that he does succeed for we have all waited for someone to do so for the longest time. Somehow, someone always manages to make a mess out of it even more. Case in point, the last 8 years. the change will not only do USA a whole lot of good, but hopefully, the world too. WORLD PEACE!!!!!
Speaking of hope, the recent budget announcement by the Finance Minster was also one eagerly anticipated, perhaps more so than the last few years. After months of downward adjustments of national growth, nothing could have lifted up the spirit and soul of the average Singaporean with a nice big hong bao before the Lunar New Year. The announcement of a $20.5 billion Resilience Package, while not meant to boost the economy into a quick recover, will definitely help to cushion the blows we have been taking over the months.
In truth, most of the moolah will go into job preservation and help for companies stay afloat. The only significant handout was the extra GST credit payout, to me at least. While some of us may groan, let us not forget to look at the bigger picture. While having a few hundred more in the pocket from the govenment would have been welcome, it doesn't address the issue of relevance. Times change and so does the market and expectations. We can't expect the jobs we have held for the last 5 years to remain as it is without any added skill needed. We all want a quick fix, but since when has a quick fix worked. Go ask Dubya, he knows quick fixes.
While I am glad with the budget, I'm not overly ecstatic as I'm not deriving much benefit from it - for now. However, again, looking at the bigger picture, it does mean that I am less likely to be retrenched now, and for that I am grateful. Let's hope that the grey skies above us will clear soon or I'll have to buy a boat.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Can we be proud?
"Tak hilang Melayu di dunia"
The words attributed to being said by Hang Tuah, the legendary Malay hero from the Malaccan Sultanate era which basically means Malays and our culture will never be gone from the face of the Earth. It has been perennially used by us Malays for centuries to stoke the flame of Malay nationalism especially across the Causeway. I do find it ticklish when politicians across the Causeway brandish the keris at the National Assembly to emphasize the right of the Malays to rule Malaysia. We'll talk politics some other time though.
We Malays have always been known for their hospitality, pride, social grace and community spirit. At the same time, many see our relaxed disposition and happy-go-lucky nature as signs of laziness and lackadaisical attitude, though, in some cases, nothing could be further from the truth. While we excel in some, okay, few things, football - just look at the national squad - and music - Singapore Idol, Live the Dream anyone? - amongst our favourite pastimes, we have shown a lot of improvement as a community. Our median income has improved, many more of us are PMETs as compared to a time when being a despatch rider or a clerk was an achievement.
Unfortunately, our record as a community speaks for itself. We have the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Singapore despite being a minority and being mainly Muslim where premarital sex is forbidden. We also have the distinction of having the highest divorce rates and the lowest median income rates. Oh, and not forgetting the highest drug addiction rates in the whole country.Then again, these does not worry me. It's been like that for years and will probably change only after I'm gone.
What I am disturbed about is the news of the 2 year old girl dying, allegedly, at the hands of her father over a pack of cigarettes she played with. This is not the first case where an innocent toddler died after being abused - both at the hands of their caregivers. Both cases involved Malay families. It's disturbing to me that something so trivial could lead to something so tragic. Remember 10-yr old Nurul Huda Abdul Ghani and how she died at a guardhouse at Gelang Patah and who could forget Nurasyura Mohd Fauzi aka Nonoi? It's so untypically Malay to be violent but it's happening more and more
What strikes me is the name of the girl and the appearance of the father. Natalie Nikie Alisyia is not a Malay name by any stretch of imagination and it looks strange when appended with the father's name, Sallehan. I saw a photo of the father in the papers just now and the thing that caught my eye was the tattoos on his arm. Well, this case is far from being resolved and no use speculating over what happened because it already did and an innocent life was snuffed out way before her time.
Honestly, I have heard of Malay babies with non-Malay names like Edgar, and the tattoos no longer shock me. As Malays, and invariably, Muslims, we are encouraged to give our children good names in the hope that they will live up to the meaning. While I'm aware that it's pretty much a personal choice, it really just shows to an erosion of our rich Malay heritage and culture. Same goes for tattoos, drugs and alcohol. They are forbidden in Islam, the religion which most, if not all Malays profess - even they profess it selectively like Hari Raya, yet we see so many Malays indulging in these vices.
Best part of it all, we seem to brush off these facts with brazen nonchalance. Don't believe me? Go and ask any Malay who is drinking or has many tattoos and the answer you'd get is invariably, Lu punya kubur lu jawab, gua punya kubur gua jawab, Lu tak happy lu boleh gi mampos, which basically means, civilly put, go mind your own business.
Have we lost our identity as Malays? Or is it that we are so engrossed in redefining what it means to be Malay that we lost touch with our past? Or perhaps, being Malay means nothing to us that we have to forge a new identity based on western ideas and ways of life? Maybe, just maybe, our traditional way of life is no longer enough to satiate the insatiable.
What then of our culture, heritage and the words of the Laksmana?
The words attributed to being said by Hang Tuah, the legendary Malay hero from the Malaccan Sultanate era which basically means Malays and our culture will never be gone from the face of the Earth. It has been perennially used by us Malays for centuries to stoke the flame of Malay nationalism especially across the Causeway. I do find it ticklish when politicians across the Causeway brandish the keris at the National Assembly to emphasize the right of the Malays to rule Malaysia. We'll talk politics some other time though.
We Malays have always been known for their hospitality, pride, social grace and community spirit. At the same time, many see our relaxed disposition and happy-go-lucky nature as signs of laziness and lackadaisical attitude, though, in some cases, nothing could be further from the truth. While we excel in some, okay, few things, football - just look at the national squad - and music - Singapore Idol, Live the Dream anyone? - amongst our favourite pastimes, we have shown a lot of improvement as a community. Our median income has improved, many more of us are PMETs as compared to a time when being a despatch rider or a clerk was an achievement.
Unfortunately, our record as a community speaks for itself. We have the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Singapore despite being a minority and being mainly Muslim where premarital sex is forbidden. We also have the distinction of having the highest divorce rates and the lowest median income rates. Oh, and not forgetting the highest drug addiction rates in the whole country.Then again, these does not worry me. It's been like that for years and will probably change only after I'm gone.
What I am disturbed about is the news of the 2 year old girl dying, allegedly, at the hands of her father over a pack of cigarettes she played with. This is not the first case where an innocent toddler died after being abused - both at the hands of their caregivers. Both cases involved Malay families. It's disturbing to me that something so trivial could lead to something so tragic. Remember 10-yr old Nurul Huda Abdul Ghani and how she died at a guardhouse at Gelang Patah and who could forget Nurasyura Mohd Fauzi aka Nonoi? It's so untypically Malay to be violent but it's happening more and more
What strikes me is the name of the girl and the appearance of the father. Natalie Nikie Alisyia is not a Malay name by any stretch of imagination and it looks strange when appended with the father's name, Sallehan. I saw a photo of the father in the papers just now and the thing that caught my eye was the tattoos on his arm. Well, this case is far from being resolved and no use speculating over what happened because it already did and an innocent life was snuffed out way before her time.
Honestly, I have heard of Malay babies with non-Malay names like Edgar, and the tattoos no longer shock me. As Malays, and invariably, Muslims, we are encouraged to give our children good names in the hope that they will live up to the meaning. While I'm aware that it's pretty much a personal choice, it really just shows to an erosion of our rich Malay heritage and culture. Same goes for tattoos, drugs and alcohol. They are forbidden in Islam, the religion which most, if not all Malays profess - even they profess it selectively like Hari Raya, yet we see so many Malays indulging in these vices.
Best part of it all, we seem to brush off these facts with brazen nonchalance. Don't believe me? Go and ask any Malay who is drinking or has many tattoos and the answer you'd get is invariably, Lu punya kubur lu jawab, gua punya kubur gua jawab, Lu tak happy lu boleh gi mampos, which basically means, civilly put, go mind your own business.
Have we lost our identity as Malays? Or is it that we are so engrossed in redefining what it means to be Malay that we lost touch with our past? Or perhaps, being Malay means nothing to us that we have to forge a new identity based on western ideas and ways of life? Maybe, just maybe, our traditional way of life is no longer enough to satiate the insatiable.
What then of our culture, heritage and the words of the Laksmana?
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