Can we be proud?

"Tak hilang Melayu di dunia"

The words attributed to being said by Hang Tuah, the legendary Malay hero from the Malaccan Sultanate era which basically means Malays and our culture will never be gone from the face of the Earth. It has been perennially used by us Malays for centuries to stoke the flame of Malay nationalism especially across the Causeway. I do find it ticklish when politicians across the Causeway brandish the keris at the National Assembly to emphasize the right of the Malays to rule Malaysia. We'll talk politics some other time though.

We Malays have always been known for their hospitality, pride, social grace and community spirit. At the same time, many see our relaxed disposition and happy-go-lucky nature as signs of laziness and lackadaisical attitude, though, in some cases, nothing could be further from the truth. While we excel in some, okay, few things, football - just look at the national squad - and music - Singapore Idol, Live the Dream anyone? - amongst our favourite pastimes, we have shown a lot of improvement as a community. Our median income has improved, many more of us are PMETs as compared to a time when being a despatch rider or a clerk was an achievement.

Unfortunately, our record as a community speaks for itself. We have the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Singapore despite being a minority and being mainly Muslim where premarital sex is forbidden. We also have the distinction of having the highest divorce rates and the lowest median income rates. Oh, and not forgetting the highest drug addiction rates in the whole country.Then again, these does not worry me. It's been like that for years and will probably change only after I'm gone.

What I am disturbed about is the news of the 2 year old girl dying, allegedly, at the hands of her father over a pack of cigarettes she played with. This is not the first case where an innocent toddler died after being abused - both at the hands of their caregivers. Both cases involved Malay families. It's disturbing to me that something so trivial could lead to something so tragic. Remember 10-yr old Nurul Huda Abdul Ghani and how she died at a guardhouse at Gelang Patah and who could forget Nurasyura Mohd Fauzi aka Nonoi? It's so untypically Malay to be violent but it's happening more and more

What strikes me is the name of the girl and the appearance of the father. Natalie Nikie Alisyia is not a Malay name by any stretch of imagination and it looks strange when appended with the father's name, Sallehan. I saw a photo of the father in the papers just now and the thing that caught my eye was the tattoos on his arm. Well, this case is far from being resolved and no use speculating over what happened because it already did and an innocent life was snuffed out way before her time.

Honestly, I have heard of Malay babies with non-Malay names like Edgar, and the tattoos no longer shock me. As Malays, and invariably, Muslims, we are encouraged to give our children good names in the hope that they will live up to the meaning. While I'm aware that it's pretty much a personal choice, it really just shows to an erosion of our rich Malay heritage and culture. Same goes for tattoos, drugs and alcohol. They are forbidden in Islam, the religion which most, if not all Malays profess - even they profess it selectively like Hari Raya, yet we see so many Malays indulging in these vices.

Best part of it all, we seem to brush off these facts with brazen nonchalance. Don't believe me? Go and ask any Malay who is drinking or has many tattoos and the answer you'd get is invariably, Lu punya kubur lu jawab, gua punya kubur gua jawab, Lu tak happy lu boleh gi mampos, which basically means, civilly put, go mind your own business.

Have we lost our identity as Malays? Or is it that we are so engrossed in redefining what it means to be Malay that we lost touch with our past? Or perhaps, being Malay means nothing to us that we have to forge a new identity based on western ideas and ways of life? Maybe, just maybe, our traditional way of life is no longer enough to satiate the insatiable.

What then of our culture, heritage and the words of the Laksmana?