Acceptance is a commodity

I was reading the news about Kelantan's plans to introduce a state law banning skimpy clothings for all and the Federal Government's opposition to it fearing racial tensions may yet be reignited. Funny isn't it?

Around the world, we have this problem, failure to accept one another's differences. How else do you explain racial segregation, racial tensions, genocides and the Holocaust?

Thankfully, most of us around the world are educated enough to know that life itself transcends any physical, emotional or psychological barrier we may have inadvertantly placed. I've always believed that nurture takes precedence or nature. I mean, even if your parents were convicted criminals and habitual drug addicts, it doesn't mean you'd turn out the same way if you've had the privilege of being raised to be a good person. How we turn out are defined by the people around us and the impacts each has had in our lives.

I was one of those who grew up in a family who while religious, didn't quite really embrace the concept of Love Thy Neighbour. In fact, our family were quite selective in befriending our neighbours. While we were close to our Malay neighbours, we weren't close at all to our Chinese or Indian ones. As a matter of fact, I knew only 1 chinese neighbour in my old unit. Growing up, I used to hear my parents, aunts and uncles talk about anyone who is Malay as Melayu kita while the other races were thought of as a lesser race. Growing up, amongst my friends, it was the same, there were called bangsa dia, also with an equal measure of disdain.

The unknown has always evoked a fear within us. Looking around us we see people of different races, different religions, different beliefs to what we believe. In other words, those who share our belief, religion and race are considered as one of us. Because of that fear or perhaps, to a certain extent, refusal to accept, we cast those who are not one of us as outsiders. Think of it, how many amongst us have at one point felt a slight disdain whenever we see one of us marry outside our race, or at least thought to ourselves, aren't there enough Malay men left in the world that she had to marry an Ang Moh, or any other race for that matter?

In between our best efforts to forge a smile while extending our best wishes to the bride and groom and trying to feel happy for the bride and groom, we do at times feel that feeling of disdain whenever an interracial marriage takes place. I think it's pre-programmed in us that we question non-conformity. However, in this day an age where primary education is compulsory, it is thought that conformity to age-old values which no longer hold as much importance as it once did. Where mothers and fathers used to disown daughters for marrying outside their race, it is now very much acceptable though not really encouraged.

To accept someone into our lives takes a lot of trust, and probably, that distrust still lies deep in our Malay souls that stops us from embracing someone of a different race fully and unconditionally. Thankfully for us, Singaporeans, Malay Singaporeans specifically, our government has always encouraged multiracialism. However, deep within us the feeling of racial supremacy is always there, evident in the way we think of other races. We all think that our race is better, genetically, morally and socially. I mean, how many amongst us have close friends of another race? Not that many I suspect.

Does that equate to us being racist or at least, selective racists? I think not and I hope no one comes to that conclusion. You see, that's the thing I find funny. While we expound the concept of multiracialism and one society, we find it hard to accept differences amongst us.