We're a few days away from the big day. No, not the first ever Formula 1 night race. I'm referring to Aidilfitri. Well, the race is exciting in some ways but it can never be as exciting as celebrating Aidilfirti.....
For goodness sake, I'm gushing like 11-year old who can't stop thinking about duit collection. Lest, I forget, I'm 31 now and Aidilfitri has not been the same for me since I finished school. In fact, I don't remember receiving any green packets since I was 18. Even if I was offered, I'd kindly decline it from my elderly relatives, some of whom I hardly recognise, let alone know their names. When we were younger, Ramadhan was always about how many days of fasting we could manage and Syawal was definitely about how much moolah we could generate.
I could still remember being teased and taunted by my Muslim classmates if and when I skipped a day of fasting. The pressure was on us kids to maintain our inner strength by fasting.....oh, who am I kidding. It's all about avoiding the teasing and the taunting. Even if we could not fast the whole day, we'd try to keep up appearances just to look that we were indeed fasting by staying away from the canteen during recess. Plus the fact that constant reminders from our closer relatives that the kids who do not fast don't get to celebrate Aidilfitri - meaning no moolah. We did our fasting - but for all the wrong reasons.
Where it was once uncool not to be fasting, it seems to be even more uncool nowadays to be fasting. Too often have I seen young kids, barely out of their teens, walking hand-in-hand with their special one, cigarette in one hand, soft drink in the other hand. Just when I try to reason that probably the girl couldn't fast because of her period, the boy takes a long drag on his ciggie and gulps down the drink as soon as he exhales. Sometimes I ask myself, do these kid know they don't get to celebrate Aidilfitri if they don't fast?
The real meaning of Aidilfitri has been obscured by the excesses of today's youth. Where Aidilfitri was a supposed to be a celebration for the successful completion of fasting - an abstinence from our vice and excesses - it has become a commercial celebration for some, replete with the showcasing of new clothes and accesories, they may not wear again for another year. Then again, who am I to comment on it? I just hope my daughter doesn't fall into that spiral.
Another gripe I have about Aidilfitri, and this is played out year by year, is the question of where to go and when to go. No!!! Not the Bazaar in Geylang. I meant the destinations of the eve of Aidilfitri and the day itself - and I'm referring to which parents' house first on each day. Every year, the same question gets asked and the same conundrum strikes again. It's a conundrum that bugs and irks me all the same everytime. And almost without fail at least one of us ends up feeling like crap.
Every couple has their own way of dealing with this sticky issue. Sadly, after 5 years, we have yet to reach an agreeable plan we both can stick to every year. The only break was last Aidilfitri when she just gave birth and this issue didn't crop up - though a much bigger one played out in the end. I mean, me being the eldest son and her being the youngest and only daughter makes it just that bit harder to decide where our priority should lie. For me, it's clear that since I'm the eldest son, we should spend more time at my parent's place. For her, since she's the youngest and the only daughter, she is expected to help out her parents.
Blame it on filial piety. We both got our own set of parents and there's no denying that our individual sense of filial piety are at odds with each other. While we try to be fair to each other, that Holy Grail of of any relationshop - the common ground - is much harder to reach than anyone thought. Well, good luck to me then to find that common ground.
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