Between maturity and juvenility

A girlfriend of my wife asked me for some advice regarding her relationship woes. Seems like she's been seeing this guy for 9 months and he still could not commit himself or tie himself down. And she gave him a dateline to decide if he wants to be with her.

What intrigues me is that as a 29-year-old lady, I thought one would have been more mature than snooping around, seeking advice on deciphering the body language or actions of the person they are going out with. Apparently, she wasn't. I have no qualms about giving advice when asked. However, it does bring up a good question, how do you know?

The simple answer is, you don't. You just don't. that's the beauty of it. Falling in love and managing the gamut of emotions that comes with being in love is not a science, there are no formulas or laws to define how it works. Though that would make it easier. There are hundreds of books dealing with this issue but what works for someone may be a poisoned chalice for another. It's the journey through it that makes it so interesting, that colours our lives. The beauty of love and life is in not knowing and the discovery of the unknown.

Why worry yourself thinking did he mean what he said, or what does she mean by that flick of her fair? Why ask the opinions of others who have no idea what the person you are going out with is like? I mean, if you have been seeing that person for the better part of the year and you have no idea what that person likes or dislikes, what that person's hopes and dreams are and what they see coming outo f the relationships, chances are you yourself have no idea of what you want out of you life. Why think about the other person when you should be thinking about yourself?

That being said, to be able to understand someone and make that person part of your life, one must first understand oneself and decide what one wants to do with his/her life. If love is a science or an art, we'd all have to be geniuses to be able to find the right one. It's ok to hope to find the right one, but not to expect for the right one as once you start to have expectations, disappointments are bound to follow.

So, why worry about the road ahead when no one can tell you what is paving your way?? Enjoy the ride!!