Speaking in Martian

Finally. It's over. The despair and gloom hovering over me and the horizon has been lifted. Beautiful rays of light are shining through the clearing skies. I have finally found the reason to be cheerful again.

The problem was with my significant other. Being to afraid, fearful of displeasing those closest to her that she bottled up all her frustration only to take them out on me. Well, that's done and dusted and I am a very relieved person - grinning from ear to ear.

I had a fun debate witha girlfriend of mine yesterday. It was about the eternal conflict between men and women. Actually, more of men not being romantic and understanding the needs of a woman to be romanced. The polarised views of an idealistic woman and a realistic man.

We all know how much a woman fantasizes of being swept off her feet by a knight in shining armour - probably, a Bentley driving man donning an Armani suit is the closest equivalent. And, not forgetting her fantasies of living happily ever after replete with flowers, chocolates and lots of serenading. Yes, I hear the feminists hollering at the back, sharpening their knives, rage filling their minds at this "male chauvinistic pig". Lest we forget, these are the same women who demand equality and women's rights as much as demanding that they be romanced by the same men they say are trampling on their rights.

Women insist that they deserve to be treated better and there has to be more passion and romance in their lives as a couple. They demand that the men never forget birthdays and anniversaries. I'm fine with that. I mean, as a man, I freely admit that I am bad at remembering dates. I am also acutely aware that men can do much more for their partners. A man will say that ferrying their partners to and from work constitute a big sacrifice. A woman will say, that's the man's responsibility. So where do you draw the line?

Is it fair to say that a man must buy flowers for his partner even when there is no special occasion while the woman does not prepare a fantastic meal at home unless it is a special occasion? A relationship is a 2-way street and there has to be some give-and-take. Words of thanks and appreciation are the most undervalued in the relationship between a man and a women. It's always a case of, "What have you done for me lately?" I think both genders need to take a step back and think, "What have I done for you lately?"

Personally, I feel romance is over-rated and a product of idealistic western values which, along with drugs and crime, has no place in an Asian society like ours. Yes, I agree Singapore is at the crossroads of Eastern and Western cultures, but we are very much Eastern by heritage. It's good to be able to draw on the best of both worlds. But, when we draw on the wrong values such as the commercialization of Christmas and Valentine's Day, we lose our Asian identity. Let's face it, how many of us who openly declare their love for their significant other on this commercialised day, know who this St Valentine guy is?

I'm not saying to forget romance, just be thankful and appreciative of what's around us. Both genders are guilty of that. There is no point in pointing an accusing finger at the other sex of being self-centred when we both exhibit that same trait. Till that day where both genders start being thankful and appreciative for the existance of the other sex, feminists and chauvinistic views will remain.