Had another interesting conversation with yet another friend, who's yet another babe- maybe not supermodel material but definitely the kind I like. Ah, dun worry, I'm still aware, alive and thinking straight. I'm not about to go gallivanting - not that I could anyway - and chasing skirts.
Anyway, twas about the perennial problem most men have - fear of commitment, commitmentphobia. Well, she's with her boyfriend for 2 years now, they really do make a good couple and she feels he's the one. However, she has still to meet his mom and she has yet to get a chance to get closer to his family. Some of us realise that meeting the parents is as close as you get to walking down the isle or shaking hands with the kadi, depending on you faith of choice. She seems peeved at the fact that they have yet to move on to that other level after 2 years of courtship.
I do agree that we, men, are weird creatures. We can go into a shopping mall, buy the things we need and get out in 15 minutes. We don't spend 15 minutes in the toilet, powdering our noses or checking if we smell right. But we just get stumped sometimes when engagement or marriage comes into the picture. The thought of having to wake up next to the same person for the rest of our lives sometimes intimidate the most courageous men. Throw in the babies, diapers and naggy MILs, most men would run for cover.
Then again, I never had those thoughts. I didn't do most things most guys would, like party, hang out at their favourite haunts, checking out the ladies. Don't get me wrong, I did check out the skirts, just didn't indulge myself in all those foollery by wolf-whistling. I know I said I was in a bike gang before. Then again, I was called "Mr Cool". Most probably not because I was cool, but because I didn't like partaking in everything all the other guys did. They did go to discos and went for parties, they did get drunk, and man they did get laid. I was the guy who sat at the corner and observed the going-ons, much to my amusement, more often than not.
Ok back to my bewildered, frustrated and disappointed friend. I feel for her, I really do, though my evil twin is rubbing his hands in glee at the thought of her being single and available again. Seriously though, she complained about her boyfriend focusing too much at work and spends too little time with her. Initially, I thought that it was a trivial issue. I mean, he may be planning andworried about their future together and wants to make sure he could provide for her when they get married. It was only when she told me about his commitmentphobia that I understood her.
In a society, where a 6-month old relationship is perceived to be ripe, by the senior citizens standards, to be taken on to the next level, a 2 year relationship like her's may be viewed as past its sell-by date. It's not really a death sentence, I mean, she could call it quits anytime, but having put in so much effort, sweat and tears into this relationship without asking for anything much in return, she has a right to feel hard done by, no matter how much she loves him. As the song goes, "A car this fine, don't pass your way everyday....."
It's not so much about marrying the one you love but loving the one you marry. Somehow, that line just seems to echo much louder now.
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