Some of the people who read my blog has commented that I am being bitchy and it was, in retrospect, a bit uncivilised dissing out your family members online, where everyone could see. I do agree with those thoughts, however, consider being in my position having to deal with these kind of irresponsible behaviour on almost a daily basis.
Imagine having bought gifts for your nephew (my 1st bro-in-law's son), and spent 2-3 hours joking around with him about him getting a new handphone from his dad for passing his PSLA. Imagine you joked with him about him secretly SMSing an imaginary girlfriend behind his authoritarian mother's back. Imagine the mom and dad (my 1st sis and bro-in-law) laughing along. Then, imagine your in-laws going behind your back after you have left and complaining to your mom-in-law that you were teaching their son bad things by joking about SMSing a girlfriend. How would you feel?
I have since sworn to my wife that I would never step my foot in his house unless I am invited as part of a family gathering. This is the same guy who asked me to come to his house while me and my wife were dating, only for him to give me a lecture about the perils of riding bikes and him telling me not to ride a bike whenI go out with his sister. Needless to say, I ignored him. I mean my mom and dad had nothing to say about me riding, heck, they even bought me my first bike!!
I have never really felt as part of my in-laws' family. To them, I will always be an outsider. I spoke out against transferring the house my MIL and FIL lives in to my 2nd BIL. No one listened. Now, he is in a financial mess and my MIL and FIL can't have peace of mind. My 73 yr old FIL has to work as a security guard to make ends meet now. I have been telling my parents-in-law to stay with me and let my 2nd BIL settle their financial issues but they refused. Now, my 2nd BIL is pissed with my wife for telling me everything that goes on. Last I checked, we are still married and she is my responsibility as much as I am hers.
The only silver lining is my wife. I still call her gutless for not standing up to her brothers but I understand that her refusal to standup to them is for the sake of her mother. She is a model daughter. She'd rather be in pain that see her mom suffer. So being the good daughter she is, she supports her mom financially when her brothers don't or won't. In fact, for a long while, she was a better daughter than she was a wife. Rather than let the whole thing boil over, she kept the issues to herself and, basically, let it tear her to shreds. This in turn, almost destroyed our marriage. She became very agitated at every little thing and caused a lot of friction in our relationship.
It was a good thing we managed to work things out tho. A buddy of mine said we make a great team, I think so too. That's why I fought tooth and nail to salvage my marriage. Thankfully, she realised her mistakes.She knows now what was the impact of her brothers actions, or inactions, had on everyone and not to hide things away from me especially if it concerns us.
Honestly, things are not getting any better, but I'll just see what happens next. I'll probably walk out of the family with my wife and leave them to themselves. If my mum and dad-in-law wants to join me and my wife, they are welcome. Just dun bring the damn extended family.
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