Boy meets girl, they both fall in love, they get married and they live happily ever after. Ideal isn't it?
Boy meets girl, they both fall in love, they get married, they quarrel and argue a lot because of in-laws and the live happily only when the in-laws are not in the way. Sounds more realistic. Paints a better picture of the realities of 2 people from different backgrounds living together in matrimony. Sadly, it's the case for most couples. I'm no exception.
The norm is for the bride having problems acclimitising to new environs with her in-laws. The grooms normally have no problem adapting and making changes in their lives, though, there are cases to the contrary. My wife and I were the norm. She had initial problems getting used to my family but got over that with time, I was like a duck taking to the water for the first time. It was a smooth transition at the beginning. Then, the ripples in the pond turned to huge tidal waves that threatened my sanity.
Actually, I get along fine with most people I meet. The same goes for my in-laws. My father and mother-in-law are great. They let me do my own things and don't really interfere with my wife and my lives. For the first few months after marriage, things were great. Then, it started to happen. The problems stem from my brothers-in-law. Put it simply the first one is spineless while the second one is brainless. Unfortunately, my wife falls into that "less" category as well - gutless. I'll come to that later.
About the first brother-in-law (BIL), like I said, spineless. He's 40, married with 2 lovely and slightly spoilt kids, a boy, 12, and a girl, 9. His wife, while good in the kitchen and managing the household, is a little authoritarian. So being spineless, he, rather than stand up for himself, just lets his wife make a lot of the decisions. For example, when an uncle from Batu Pahat in Johor came over and wanted to visit his family, he actually asked his wife if they could come over. At the same time, my wife asked me if that uncle to could stay at our house, I welcomed them with open arms, in fact, I suggested to them to stay over at my place. My BIL did not even offer his dwelling to his own uncle, who is his dad's younger brother.
Another thing that pisses me off to no end about him is his usage of the old car. My mum-in-law bought a second-hand Suzuki Swift for my wife after she obtained her driving liscence. This was before we got married. My MIL paid for the downpayment while my then-fiancee-now-wife paid the monthly installments. She never did drive the car to work as she didn't dare to do so. So, her elder brother drove it to work everyday. Besides getting free use of the car to work, he also drives the car to ferry his family and his in-laws. Just not his own mother. Oh, that's not the worst part, he gives his mother $50 for sustainance every month, but only, and only if he could afford to give his MIL the same amount.
After the car was scrapped, he bought a new Proton Wira with some of the proceeds of the old car which he paid a nominal sum for in the first place. The rest went to my wife and her mum but my wife gave her share to her mum. It took me 6 mths to hear him even offer his own mother a ride in his car or offered to take her to do some marketing. Even now, after almost a year of him getting a car, I am hard-pressed to recall of an instance where he took his mum to the market. Honestly, one of the biggest reason why I decided to get my own car was out of pity for my MIL. To think that she actually bought for him his first car and he got to use my wife's car for practially nothing, and the way he sidelines her now, really makes my blood boil.
FYI, ever since I got my car, it has been a non-stop ferry service catering to my MIL. I'm not complaining about having to do her son's work, I'm just bloody pissed at that irresponsible so-called adult she calls her son. Tomorrow, we'll diss the other son. I think that'll be twice as long.
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