Hmmmmmmmm......where do I even begin?
It seems like I am a person who has no respect for my elders for slanging them in public like this. It's as if I have no morals or shame to talk about my in-laws. It's like I am shaming the in public. People who know me will say that I am a person who gives respect and credit where it is due. But I have to admit, I am a bit hot-headed especially when I feel like I am being taken advantage of.
It's the same with my BILs. I have lost my respect for them as they have done nothing to command that respect. Take my 2nd BIL, the "brainless" one, he is 37, married with 3 kids, all below 5 years of age, has primary education and dreams of building a successful business. There is no harm in that, except that he only ever dreams about it.
When I first met him, he was doing OK considering his educational level. He earned enough to support his family and takes good care of his obligations. The trouble all started when he started his first business, which I knew of, which was a car-wash. The shop was doing OK. Everything was well, but he decided to let other people run his shop and ruin it. That's where he made his first loss. No harm done.
Then came the second business op. A mushroom supplying business with his cousin in Malaysia. He took a $12k loan from a bank in Singapore with my then-fiancee as guarantor. I was against her being a guarantor citing his bad business acumen, but she was adamant about helping her brother, who was I to stop her then anyway. So, he loaned and she guaranteed the loan. 3 months into the business, it failed spectacularly andnow he is saddled with a loan which was a long way from being settled. To top it all off, he quit his good-paying job in Singapore in the hope of the returns which never materialised. Just before the mushroom venture failed, he bought a condo in JB, adding on to his debts. So, here he was, saddled with the bank loan, home loan, car loan in JB and bike loan. One has to wonder how all these loans were ever gonna be serviced.
Honestly, I'm not pissed at his business failures, what I am pissed about is the way he act as if it is only affecting him and his own family. He's oblivious to the fact that his action, or inactions, causes strain to appear in the extended family. Whilst he stayed in Ayer Hitam, Johor, I drove my wife and MIL every other week there to bring back his eldest daughter who is Singaporean. His 2 younger sons are Malaysians. Dun ask.
Every trip we made, we were forced to come face to face with their irresponsible behaviour. Why? Simply because, when we arrived at 2-3pm, the kids were almost always hungry as they haven't had their breakfast even. So, instead of being invited to eat at his place, which he never did, we were asked to sometimes buy food for his whole family, as they had no money for daily expenses even. Now, he's back in Singapore and staying with his mother. He's now earning $5/hr in a fast food joint with almost a few hundred dollars in debts to service each month. His 5 year-old daughter is yet to recognise letters, let alone read. Seriously, if not for his lovable kids and the fact that my wife is his guarantor, I would have left him to work things out himself
Why am I telling all these intimate details about him? That's because it is these intimate details that caused the friction between me and my wife. She would always stop me from confronting my BILs and let them have a piece of my mind saying we have to respect our elders. I think I am past that and am fully justified in my anger towards them. Actually, there's more to it, just that I feel nauseous thinking about this whole thing.
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