I had this sense of deja vu; it's like troubles dun seem to end, they seem to pile up. More problems? What's new? Let's just wallow in self-pity. Times like these really did make the barrel of a loaded gun seems like a nice propects. At least with a squeeze of the trigger, my troubles would end, then again, so would my life.
I'm not elaborating the all the juicy details but it's suffice to say that it really tore me to pieces. Hurt so bad I thought of just leaving everything behind and go away for a little while. Fact is I didn't. Stayed back and tried to work it out. It wasn't pretty though. How could a relationship that lasted for so long suddenly go awry?
People say, and I believe that you must love the one you marry. Simply because you made that choice. Yeah, I made that choice and I don't regret it. I mean there were the good times to cherish but there were the bad ones to go with it. Honestly, though, ours wasn't rosy from the beginning. I still remember the day I was invited over to her elder brother's house when we first started dating, thinking it was gonna be nice since he invited me, he could only want to get to know me. So there I was in his house, on the receiving end of a lecture about not riding a motorbike when going out with my then-girlfriend. I mean, had I taken notes, I could have completed a thesis.
Of course, there was the dad. I mean which father wouldn't be sceptical of any guy who wants to date his daughter. Boy, I had a torrid time. Anyone who's tried making sceptical future father-in-law like you can attest to that. But it happened, how, I have no idea. Then there was the episode where we nearly broke up during engagement because she could not get along with my family, not because my family didn't welcome her, which they did, but more because she felt like a lesser person in the company of my family. That took a lot of talking and coaxing.
A friend said to me it could be just me over-reacting and that it could be possible that I didn't appreciate her enough or gave her enough emotional support. Then, I asked myself if I have done enough or have done too little to make her happy. I was tired of having to pick up the pieces of the tantrums that was being thrown. I was beginning to ask if I had the mental capacity to take more, to keep on picking up the pieces.
For now, I think I have.
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