I'm so sleepy and groggy from lack of sleep, cough syrup and flu tablets. Then again, there's a job that remains to be done. My blog needed some attenton, so here I am, eyebags, runny nose, itchy throat and all.
Why the lack of sleep? Attended to a small emergency yesterday night. A friend called me up needing to talk, tears notwithstanding. She was having some problems at home. It's kinda complicated, you see, her husband also happens to be one of my best buddies, she, I treat like a sister. Thing is, I've known both for a long time, my buddy for over a decade, the wife almost a deacde, way back while we were all in school. In fact, it was my big-mouth which hooked them up. Not that they were protesting. Well, I had good intentions and their well-being at heart. I mean, knowing how they were and the fact that they did like each other, made it easy for them to hook up.
Anyway, she was in tears yesterday when she SMSed me, so I called and heard her practically in tears. So, I met up with her, she lived only a few blocks away. As usual, I gave her a listening ear, I'm pretty good at this, and offered my views, but it seemed a bit futile knowing that the source of the problem was not her. In order to solve a problem, it has to be nipped in the bud. In the end, I sent her home to her younger sister's place, whose husband is another buddy of ours, yeap my 2 best buddies married sisters. Her husband walked out of their home and did not leave a message and did not bring his handphone, rendering him uncontactable for the night. So, I thought it best that she have some company for the night.
I went home thinking about this whole thing - this whole marriage thing. It's not the easiest thing to do, but everyone wants a a shot at it. Some work, others fail. But the one thing that separates success and failure in any relationship is the desire and commitment to make it work. Without it, a couple might as well call it quits. Then, the question arises, What do you do then, if your partner is unwilling to put in as much commitment and desire to make it work?
Honestly, I am not trained to handle such questions, I'm not a professional counsellor but, every so often, we find ourselves faced with such problems befalling our colleagues, friends or relatives. Speaking from the little experience I have, it's all up to the individual, when and how to end a relationship is a desicion best taken without coercion. Third party views, more often than not, only stirs up the mud in an already murky water. The ASEAN policy of non-intervention, is a good policy to adhere to in such situations.
As much as we want to help our friends, the best help we can give them is the peace of mind to handle such problems. Life is all about the journey, sometimes we stumble and fall flat on our face. If we keep depending on others to help us up all the time, when the time comes to pick ourselves up, without any help, we might be found wanting. I'm always there for my friends to lend a listening ear, a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on, but I will never point them the direction they have to take - that's up to them.
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